women who go on long trips

[MikeEdward1973]

I've had this happen a few times: I'll go out with someone once or twice, and their interest level is clearly very high.

They'll go on a long pre-planned trip for vacation or business, for 2 or 3 weeks.

When they come back, interest level is way lower.

Anyone else experience this? My guess is they get distracted by something, or someone (like vacation sex), and my influence really gets diluted.

 

[window]

Yes I've had exactly that. Unless you actually see them get on the plane I wouldn't buy it. Unless she sais she definately wants to see again when she gets back. I think girls that cant say no they're not interested go on "trips"

 

[Nelford]

I was dealing with this girl one time and her interest level was in space. She went to vegas for a week and when she return I didn't hear from the girl. It threw me off because she was always calling, texting and inviting me over. Out of the blue she stop all this cold turkey like I did or said something to bring this on. Before she left she called and text me to say she will call me when she got settled, but I didn't hear from her until a couple days later when she sent a picture of herself in a bathing suit. She got back and never called me back period.

Months later I ran into her at a Lounge and we spoke but I was busy dancing and talking to other women so I pretty much ignored her. When I left the Lounge and was almost home she calls me around 3 in the morning wanting me to come over. The rest is history...

 

[STR8UP]

Months later I ran into her at a Lounge and we spoke but I was busy dancing and talking to other women so I pretty much ignored her. When I left the Lounge and was almost home she calls me around 3 in the morning wanting me to come over. The rest is history...

Attractive women are like kids with ADD.

This is why I never burn bridges.

You never know you might just bump into the chick who flaked on you for WHATEVER reason, and it might be GOOD timing this time and she wants some action.

 

[DJDamage]

Attractive women are like kids with ADD.

I agree.

The thing with women is that they are always on the lookout to turn a new page in their life because frankly they are usually misrable half the time. A woman has to constantly have something new or exciting happening in her life otherwise she will get irritated. It is the sole reason why you will find some women b1tch all the time how unhappy they are but as soon as they hit the clubs they are happy again. They are not happy with themsleves but rather the location defines their happiness. However if the same woman worked in a club her whole life she will complain how much she hates clubs.

Its either a long trip, moving into a new place, getting a new job, or New Years day/Birthday. As soon as something they precieve to be a big change coming into their life (as opposed to the old boring misrable past) they usually add a new man to it as well while dumping the old one. There is never a shortage of men out there for an attractive woman in her 20's.

Its like they are living the mentra "out with the old and in with the new". The sad part is that things around them may change but they will still be in the same and the cycle will repeat itself until they will be too old to get away with it.

It is why you will never find a woman who is satisfied with what she got in her life or her life itself, and it is why the majority of marriages in North America tend to turn out very ugly.

 

[MikeEdward1973]

Yes I've had exactly that. Unless you actually see them get on the plane I wouldn't buy it. Unless she sais she definately wants to see again when she gets back. I think girls that cant say no they're not interested go on "trips"

lol, I did consider that. In these cases, I am confident they were actually out of town.

 

[MikeEdward1973]

I agree.

A woman has to constantly have something new or exciting happening in her life otherwise she will get irritated. They are not happy with themsleves but rather the location defines their happiness.

This is a great point. Has anyone else noticed that many women travel compulsively? I have wondered why, and I think DJDamage has called it.

 

[MikeEdward1973]

Attractive women are like kids with ADD.

This is why I never burn bridges.

You never know you might just bump into the chick who flaked on you for WHATEVER reason, and it might be GOOD timing this time and she wants some action.

Let me ask you, are you saying that if you go out a couple times with a women, and she agrees to see you again, but is pretty candid, and says "I'm hoping to just be friends," that you do see her again (assuming you're really attracted to her)?

I get rid of her immediately. Do you not?

 

[window]

I'd say "trips" away are standard operating procedure for a HB7+...Think about it, single girls who are a 7+ have a minimum of 10 guys pursuing them at any one time. So if she has a guy on the go whom she thinks may have potential but not sure yet then she may need to put you on the backburner for a couple of weeks. And what better way to do that than to go on a trip !! ha ha beautiful.

 

[window]

Str8up's philosophy when the girl rejects him is to be nice to them and say no worries maybe another time (i.e not burning any brigdes) based on the assumption that it might not be the "right" time for them and hence the timing is not right. I think this is lame and conveys a lack of self respect to the woman. The question has to asked is what bridges are being burned !! there are no bridges. I think the philosophy works fine with girls who are your friends with (in which case you should be holding the aces) or girls you're likely to see again such as at work. But if it is a woman you have recently met then I think it is important for yourself respect that you convey to this girl the message "no worries nice to meet you" then move on.

 

[Mr. Me]

You could probably keep her interested if you talked to her...

I strongly disagree.

Talking to her while she's away will likely kill her interest... if you blab too much. If you tell her everything you're doing while she's away, if you tell her you miss her, if you tell her you can't wait for her to get back, etc.

What are you gonna talk about, anyway? All the fun she's having without you while she's away?

If she's gone for one or two weeks you don't need to touch base. Maybe if she's out of town for 6 months, maybe that's a different story. But if you do speak, it should be short and sweet and you ought to sound busy but be vague with your details. Better if her imagination comes into play to fill in the gaps and she starts thinking that you're cavorting with playboy bunnies nightly while she's away rather then let her know you're working nightly on a powerpoint project for work or in front of the computer on sosuave.

I think the whole 'when she returns she's not that interested' has to do with maybe over-rating her interest in the first place, as guys are apt to do, and/or doing things surrounding her absence that have lowered her interest, such as the "I miss yous", frequent calls, or simply having done things that dropped her interest on those last couple of dates before she left.

Because: "absence makes the heart grow fonder" - when they're really interested. When they're not, then "out of sight, out of mind."

 

[Colossus]

You ever notice how so many women describe themselves as "spontaneous" or "random"? It's because in a sense, they all are. What they think is a unique personal quality is actually a common trait of all women. Men tend to think linearly--that is, we have objectives and focus on forward movement. The train must press onward. There is a reason why the great scientists and systems-builders of the world are men.

Women, alternatively, are much less deliberate and objective in how they view their world--that is, they are given to their whims. They are relations-builders, and they thrive on connections with other people.

The point of all this is that when you are not present and her interest wasnt in the HIGH levels to begin with, her attentions are going to be drawn to other people and things. And if you have only been seeing her a week or two, you have to expect this. You just dont have significant emotional collateral form her to get you through that much absence. And her 'ADD' propensity definitely correlates positively with her attractiveness and how many people she already has giving her attention.

 

[SoCalMike]

Attractive women are like kids with ADD.

This is why I never burn bridges.

You never know you might just bump into the chick who flaked on you for WHATEVER reason, and it might be GOOD timing this time and she wants some action.

Yep.

I have a couple 'flakes' in my cell phone, who disappear for months at a time, then suddenly I hear from them because they want a booty call. And if I'm not in a LTR I comply.

 

[STR8UP]

Let me ask you, are you saying that if you go out a couple times with a women, and she agrees to see you again, but is pretty candid, and says "I'm hoping to just be friends," that you do see her again (assuming you're really attracted to her)?

I get rid of her immediately. Do you not?

If I'm really attracted to her and she says the F word that's it. I'm gone.

What I am talking about is chicks you have been out with once or twice that are lukewarm and you simply let them fall to the side. It is very likely that she had interest in you, but she probably had HIGHER interest in someone else at the time. Good chemistry, bad timing. The last two or three women I dated I suspected this to be the case.

Str8up's philosophy when the girl rejects him is to be nice to them and say no worries maybe another time (i.e not burning any brigdes) based on the assumption that it might not be the "right" time for them and hence the timing is not right. I think this is lame and conveys a lack of self respect to the woman.

I never said anything about when the chick out and out rejects you.

If you hear "Lets just be friends" you hit the door and delete the numbner. This means you have NO CHANCE.

But I haven't heard that line since I was 21-22 years old. Mainly because I have female "friends" and I meet new women all the time, and I have either discounted the idea of hooking up with her for whatever reason, or the woman at minimum sees me as a sexual being and has not put me in the friend zone.

I don't think that is what he meant. We're not talking about a rejection, we're talking about a flaking-out.

In this case, it's smart not to care too much that she flaked out, or why. Just don't give her attention. Nelford's story illustrates how this can work to your advantage. The point is, next time you see the girl, don't give her the impression that you ever gave a flying fukk in the first place, and don't kowtow to her, either. Be cordial and then take your attention somewhere else. Timing is as important as anything else you learn here; sometimes you find yourself in the right space-time with a girl, sometimes not. Roll with it.

Bingo.

You never know what will happen down the road. If the chick hasn't officially rejected you, there is always the potential for something to happen when the timing is better. And if you bump into her at a later time you have the benefit of being several steps ahead if she ever was attracted to you in the first place. If the kindling is in place sometimes all it takes is the tiniest spark....

 

[Jitterbug]

I've had this happen a few times: I'll go out with someone once or twice, and their interest level is clearly very high.

They'll go on a long pre-planned trip for vacation or business, for 2 or 3 weeks.

When they come back, interest level is way lower.

Anyone else experience this? My guess is they get distracted by something, or someone (like vacation sex), and my influence really gets diluted.

Happened to me quite a few times. Those girls are in their early to mid 20s so they tend to do a bit of travelling, and they typically don't think long term anything. Not sure how relevant that is though - I believe women don't really change that much when they get older.

Their IL could be high enough that we'd be bonking like rabbits prior to the trip, yet after it, it just went "poof!"

 

[Knight's Cross]

Remember, they are like children. OHHH LOOK a shiny new TRINKET! to GRAB MY ATTENTION! It's all how they feel, and I believe Rollo has a coined expression about her doing the guy in the foam party at Spring Break. Yep, if you get a cool off after a trip it's because she FEELS less by your presence. I had a plate one time that was HEAD OVER for me. Know how I knew this? Because she said I gave her "butterflies" in her stomach when she was around me. So I made her FEEL nervous. It's all how they FEEL about you. When she was on the trip, she was out of her comfort zone, and she LIKED it.
KC

 

[window]

Guys if you've only known a girl for a short time and she sais she's going on a trip for 2 - 3 weeks she is lying. It is womaneese for I need to see what is happening with this other guy first before we take things further. So rather than blow you off she takes a make believe trip. This is standard operating procedure for HB's7+.

 

[Jitterbug]

window, I'll keep that in mind, but in the cases I experienced, they went on pre-planned trips (talked about it before I asked them out) and there were photos.

 

[DonGorgon]

I've had this happen a few times: I'll go out with someone once or twice, and their interest level is clearly very high.

They'll go on a long pre-planned trip for vacation or business, for 2 or 3 weeks.

When they come back, interest level is way lower.

Anyone else experience this? My guess is they get distracted by something, or someone (like vacation sex), and my influence really gets diluted.

They would not do that to brad pit...LOL

 

[Jitterbug]

I just remember that I've had the exact reverse of this case very recently!

I got this chick's number at a party. She isn't really my type but I thought what the hell, that's a nice arse and she could be good for rainy days. Called & asked her if she wanted to hang out a few days later, but she said she's busy blah blah typical game playing BS. Then she went back home (overseas) for a month and a half. I nearly forgot about her when she got back. All of a sudden her IL was sky high and she was throwing herself at me. She still is - but I sense too much clingyness and am just playing the clueless guy for now and will LJBF her if she makes a move.