"Women who are interested in you won't confuse you."

[TheCWord]

Just saw nismo write this in another thread. The line is used periodically on this site, but I wanted to highlight it in its own thread for new visitors who come here trying to decipher mixed signals.

"Women who are interested in you won't confuse you."

That's it. Simple.

Or, a favourite quote of mine from VladPatton:

But it is very simple! Hot and cold temperaments equals low interest. A girl who wants you will make it clear as day with orange cones and flashing strobes.

 

[TheFapPrince]

The problem is that the confusion and the temperature fluctuation are the factors which make you are interested.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Kinda disagree on most advice given here because not all women are the same.

And every one just assumes there's a set of rules when in fact you have to discover each women's phycology.

 

[TheCWord]

Kinda disagree on most advice given here because not all women are the same.

And every one just assumes there's a set of rules when in fact you have to discover each women's phycology.

Absolutely agree. But I think this rule of thumb is pretty safe.

If you do encounter that rare case of a woman sending mixed signals because she does have interest in you but is hesitant in proceeding for whatever the reason, you're just going to try to move things forward and force her to make a decision. So that's easy. Though I'd venture a guess that 90% of women who claim to have interest but are just "figuring things out" or whatever really just have low interest - they might not be self-aware enough to put their finger on that being the case themselves, but anyone on this forum would catch it.

If a girl does have high interest in you and is still confusing you, after you've made your intentions known, you'd have to ask yourself if you could really have a functional relationship with that woman.

 

[Uncharted]

She will probably try to play hard to get a little bit, but if she's playing "impossible to get" then she's not interested.

When she starts to play games like that, just pull back. It's the best way to test her interest. If her interest level is really high she will drop all that BS because she'll be afraid to lose you. If not, you have your answer.

 

[TheCWord]

She will probably try to play hard to get a little bit, but if she's playing "impossible to get" then she's not interested.

When she starts to play games like that, just pull back. It's the best way to test her interest. If her interest level is really high she will drop all that BS because she'll be afraid to lose you. If not, you have your answer.

^^^^ Yup. (P.S. "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Uncharted again.")

Don't dip your pinky toe in the pool and run away if she doesn't capitulate right away.

Advance, flirt, play, make it pretty clear what's going on.

If she's playing games, like Uncharted says, DON'T take your ball and go home. Just pull way back and let her do some of the chasing.

If she comes around but then reverts back to mixed-signal land, THEN: Screw you guys, I'm going home.

"But--"

"Uh uh! Screw you guys -> home."

 

[j0504s]

Kinda disagree on most advice given here because not all women are the same.

And every one just assumes there's a set of rules when in fact you have to discover each women's phycology.

Yes all women are different but OP is 100% correct if a women REALLY WANTS YOU, and i bold that b/c its a very specific sittuation...for example, if someone is thirsty they will go get a drink...thats how clear it will be...but you have to understand, b/c this clearly not the case with most of women you interact with...but if a women "Fancies" you, all the signs will be there...

Keep spinning,
J0504S

 

[HedoRick]

Yes, that's the case many times, but some women like to play coy. I've had friends that have seduced quite a few women, but everyone said "they didn't have a chance, she's not interested". Sometimes you can build interest over time. In many instances, yes, it is a fool's gold scenario, but other times some people seem to pull despite the odds.

 

[European-DJ]

Kinda disagree on most advice given here because not all women are the same.

And every one just assumes there's a set of rules when in fact you have to discover each women's phycology.

I don't know about that, general rules apply to everyone, both male and female.

Yes, not to persons are the same, but if she is busting your balls over and over, then she is "NOT interested", she is just trying to be a nice person, and in a nice way tell you "Move on".

The reason 9 out of 10 guys are stuck (including me) is, that they live on false hope, they interpretate every line she says until they get the answer they want to hear, which usually is "you still got a chance, just fight for it".

"Judge by her actions, not by her words" is another great line which I think everyone should go by, the problem is the same though, we tend to hear what we wan't to hear, and ignore what we fear.

At least, i have come to realize, that is the problem for me.

 

[SamTheHobit]

I don't know if any of you guys here have read the art of seduction.

Love that book because it identifies the different types of seducers and the different types of seduction methods. That being said some time pushing a person away often brings them closer.

So yeah mixed signals is a pretty powerful seduction technique.

Anyway just a different veiw point.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I always find it interesting that the very young guys almost always say, "Every woman is different" while most of the guys who have been on the planet for over 3 or 4 decades maintain that women by and large fit into an astoundingly predictable and universal behavioral template, within which there are minor variances.

The baseline of women's mode of thinking and reactions always becomes evident once you know her long enough, no matter how "different from the rest" she may appear on the surface. They are herd creatures and cannot survive with any degree of mental health outside of the herd, hence their established baseline that all women and some enlightened men see.

 

[Purefilth]

I don't know if any of you guys here have read the art of seduction.

Love that book because it identifies the different types of seducers and the different types of seduction methods. That being said some time pushing a person away often brings them closer.

So yeah mixed signals is a pretty powerful seduction technique.

Anyway just a different veiw point.

And being as you are still a virgin, how would you be able to vouch for ANY seduction techniques?:rock:

 

[Iceberg]

I always find it interesting that the very young guys almost always say, "Every woman is different" while most of the guys who have been on the planet for over 3 or 4 decades maintain that women by and large fit into an astoundingly predictable and universal behavioral template, within which there are minor variances.

The baseline of women's mode of thinking and reactions always becomes evident once you know her long enough, no matter how "different from the rest" she may appear on the surface. They are herd creatures and cannot survive with any degree of mental health outside of the herd, hence their established baseline that all women and some enlightened men see.

What he said.

All people are different in a sense. But patterns of behavior still exist, and we can use those patterns to evaluate people.

If a girl's pattern of returning calls/texts changes, you can chalk that up as "confusing" or you can say "She's losing interest. I'll hit the brakes on this one."

In dating, there are just some universal truths that (in my experience) prove themselves to be correct 9 out of 10 times.

Whenever I experience something with a woman that makes me think "Hmm. That's odd. I'd better keep an eye on that." it always means that a breakup is coming soon.

 

[VladPatton]

When dealing with the human mind in general, it is difficult to employ a set of so called rules. The main reason we form guidelines on this site is to keep you from overly pursuing a girl who is lukewarm to your advances. They are not direct, and will seldom say "thanks for the drink, please leave, I'm not interested in your sexual advances". So we need to figure things out by body language words, and actions. You cannot spend months doing this, so a quick set of guidelines will give you a foreshadow of a possible outcome.

Can you be wrong? Sure. Can she be really interested and isn't sure? Yep. Can she not be interested and is playing games with you out of boredom? Of course. Are you willing to stick around for months to find out? You can. But why develop acute obsessive oneitis and miss a chance with a girl who is 100% into you? I and most commenters here don't believe you should. Onward and forward.

Ultimately, it is your own choice as a man to do whatever it is you feel you should do in regards to your target girl. On average, all our positive/negative suggestions should move you towards a better interaction with women. If not, then you just like coming around here and reading our tales for kicks.

 

[jeffreylebowski]

Sometimes in the context of a dating relationship, where her interest is high, but she is unsure of your intentions long term, a woman may pull away or whatever to protect herself or see where your interest is. In other words, if her interest isn't being reciprocated, or if something happens that makes her wonder if you're serious about the relationship, she may start exhibiting some hot and cold behavior which is confusing. It may have nothing to do with her attraction towards you...it might just be an issue of how you've framed things. The same way a man might behave (albeit for different reasons) if he is in a casual relationship starting out and the girl starts getting clingy or calling you "babe" or whatever and you're not really sure if she's ltr material or you just aren't interested in a serious relationship at that point.

Like if she says "I love you" and you don't say it back...some girls will keep saying it hoping you will too...some will pull away. Just depends on what they are looking for at that time. You gotta judge each situation for what it is. But generally, pulling back is a good way to gauge what's going on. But sometimes just being real and addressing each others expectations works pretty well...if you care enough to do it with that particular girl. There are times when vulnerability can be very powerful...not pouring your heart out...just being direct.

 

[pyros]

I dont remember where I read that we do not need to 'game' a woman that is already interested in you (you just have not to mess it up). So it seems we do need to 'game' women that have medium to low interest in you.
The thing is the majority of guys think that if you do game a girl that has little interest in you, if you do it right, she will definetely fall for you...and I dont know about you, but in my personal experience there are just two group of women: the ones that like you the moment they see you, and the ones that do not like you or just a bit.

So the key is to find the ones that DO LIKE YOU from the get go, because if you start receiving mixed signals it just indicates that the girl is in the second group of women, and even if you game her, you're likely going nowhere with her, so I would just focus on finding the ones that dig you from the begining, this means:
a) they find you physically attractive.
b) they are single. (they do not have any FWB, they are not still ****ing their ex, they are not hung on someone, etc)
c) they are looking for a relationship (they are happy, they do not have any serious problem going on, its been a while since the last boyfriend...)

If you talk to 10 women, 7 to 9 of them will not satisfy all the criteria above, so it does not matter how much game you use.
However, if you talk to one girl that satisfies all the criteria above, its just gonna flow naturally, but hey, this is the minority of women you talk to.

Just my personal opinion.

Regards.

P.S.
since the majority of women do not match the three requisites above, this is why so many guys struggle with them. She sends mixed signals, she seems difficult to reach...whatever, but it is your sex drive that blinds you and makes you pursue her, because shes cute, she's been nice or normal to you...and you want to bang her, but hey, try to find the ones that are totally receptive to you!
Didn't you have any relationship that was easy and nice fromt the begining?
Thats what I look for, I do not want to meet *****es, girls that like you just a little, girls that are crazy, girls that like to string you along etc etc

 

[handle]

I have to respectfully disagree with "women who are interested in you won't confuse you." Here's why:

1) This statement assumes that you are socially adept and confident enough to read the situation properly (not true of all sosuave posters, a lot of people on this site would be confused even if the girl was making it BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS)

2) Some women are just plain weird, and are not good at indicating their interest. This can be because they are shy, because their friends are telling them not to be very forward, because they're legitimately busy/distracted...

Of course if a girl is 100% head over heels for you, MOST OF THE TIME she'll go out of her way to let it be known. But there's plenty of women out there who are like, 90% into you. Or just difficult to read. Also your emotional state is going to change depending on what your life is like -- maybe she isn't being confusing but you just don't realize it. I recommend just being non-desperately persistent regardless. It's OK to be a little confused about what's going on. That's part of the fun, right?

 

[synergy1]

perhaps the statement should be amended to say something along the lines of any women who is interested and worthwhile won't confuse you. Anytime a women is giving mixed signs means they are likely uncertain about other facets of their lives, or are unwilling to take any action. One inexorable fact is that if you make any sort of move ( e.g lets hang out, lets get together) it will NOT be ambiguous at all. They will know at some level that you are interested and any follow through or lack of follow through IS indicative of their interest on some level. It comes back to the cliche SS saying that a women wouldn't turn down a date with Channing Tatum if the opportunity arose.

I personally do not pursue women who give mixed or no signals anymore. It does create some times where I am not dating or seeing women, but it is the price I must pay living where I do in order to live up to the principals I believe in. Most recently I saw a chick a few times and even hooked up but she started playing the hard to reach game which after one attempt I stopped all contact. Sure, it sucks and feels wierd not trying to meet up but at the same time its painfully obvious that any pursuit will not end well and will look desperate. Am better off finding new plates which is the current course of action.

 

[EastvsWest]

I have a Perfect story as I am going through right now. Met a chick online we TXT back and forth a few times before we met and she always responded right away and receptive (High interest). We met for drinks and it went pretty well, but there was not a ton of spark, definitely no head over heels, we talked about meeting up again.(Both not sure about IL) A couple days later I txted her about a place we talked about and if she wanted to go. (lets test out 1 more date) No response for 24 hrs...number deleted. A couple days later she sends me a txt and doesn't reference the date suggestion, and blah blah in her txt. I don't respond. Then a couple days later more blah blah. I don't respond. Then a couple days later she says Where have you been? MIA? I respond but just something with no interest. This chick 100% just wants attention and it's annoying as **** because I have to keep deleting her number. Maybe I will ignore her enough that we finally just go out and get drunk and bang.....that's really all I would want at this point.

Moral of the story? It's the topic as the topic says chicks will respond if they are interested. If they aren't sure yet or aren't interested...chances are they won't.

 

[TheCWord]

Moral of the story? It's the topic as the topic says chicks will respond if they are interested. If they aren't sure yet or aren't interested...chances are they won't.

Sounds like she's interested in you now, though