Women who approach you

[Don Juanabbe]

Ok, not sure how often this happens to other guys - but I get approached in bars/clubs fairly often. Usually these are women in their early to late 30s and even women in their 40s.

I've usually been receptive to this, as, well, it's kind of a refreshing change, I mean, it's easy. However, one thing I've definitely noticed is, after having gone out with a few of them - they're usually pretty messed up. I generally can detect this early and will bail on them.

Anyone else have experience with this?

 

[Trail Mix-A-Lot]

I've noticed the same thing in some of my encounters. I think in general, even if you are an extremely attractive man, normal women expect to be approached and will rarly (if ever) approach you. That's not to say they won't make it easy for you. I was once approached by an attractive, younger woman and I thought "This is too good to be true!"... and it was.

 

[Stavrogin]

A lot of women who approach men are desperate. A cougar once came up to me and asked me if my shoes were new. When I told her they were, she asked if she could step on them. This is no way to strike up a conversation with someone. But a woman who has gone years without a man and knows she has only months to get pregnant before her biological clock expires will approach a man.

 

[STR8UP]

It's one thing if a woman makes herself "available". It's another thing if she throws herself at you. You generally don't want women who throw themselves at you.

 

[edger]

I've noticed the same thing in some of my encounters. I think in general, even if you are an extremely attractive man, normal women expect to be approached and will rarly (if ever) approach you. That's not to say they won't make it easy for you. I was once approached by an attractive, younger woman and I thought "This is too good to be true!"... and it was.

I don't mind having to be the one to approach AT ALL. I'm totally comfortable with it. But at least throw me some "vibes". I do mind it when they don't put out vibes to give you a cue that they want you to approach.

 

[#41]

I get asked how tall I am every so often, but I've never been "approached" by a woman in a bar.

Heh, I wouldn't even know how to react if it did happen. Wouldn't seem right.

 

[Tazman]

Everytime I've been outright approached by a woman, I was not interested. It's never the ones you want to approach, just the desperate ones who don't mind putting themselves out there.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Yeah, I get approached about once or twice a month, it throws me off sometimes, that's the real problem. It's almost unnatural. I've had a couple approach that I'd actually be interested in. Also, alot of them have ended up to be completely nuts. It's mostly women my age or in their 40s. I've had the odd one that is younger as well. Apparently, I throw off a likable vibe, I'm told.

As for being approached online - eff that, EVERY woman I've met online is basically insane.

 

[Colossus]

I get approached almost every time I go out. When I say approached I mean women will come up and start a conversation with me, or talk to my friends first then approach me. Typically these are 5-7's, rarely does an 8+ approach. I was, however, approached by a stunning 9.5 a couple weeks ago. I waited too long to call her and lost that one. Live and learn.

When 8+ women approach, Ive noticed they do it very indirectly. Usually I will be talking to one of their friends, or they will maybe smile at me and say something about the line at the bar, etc. Average girls tend to be more direct, naturally.

The company you go out with makes a big difference. Ive been out with my German buddies several times recently, and we always get approached. They are well-dressed, social guys. When I go out with some of my buddies from college, it can be a totally different story. I love hanging with them, but some friends just arent condusive to meeting girls at bars/clubs. They put off the wrong vibe or they are too loud and aggressive.

It's all about the way you present yourself and the vibe you put off. There have been countles times in the past where I have put off an 'unapproachable' vibe. Self-conciousness, anxiety, bad mood, poor body language, and poor clothing are all factors. You have to be in a relaxed, carefree frame of mind. Go out with positive people who want to have fun, because that's really what it's all about. If I go out with the 'hunting' mentality I am often unsuccessful. But when I go out to have fun, talk to some girls, and have a good night drinking then it's never a loss.