Women wanting to look after you while you're sick

[Murk]

When you tell girls you're sick so can't come/make it to something. I've had this a few times, even got into an argument with my ex gf because I like to be alone when sick and I heal very quickly anyway and haven't been sick for a long time.

In fact, most of the time it's a lie. An easy way to flake (yes even on ex gf's).

They always say I'll come look after you. Last night after work I went on a second date with some girl from Tinder, Italian, 6.5 worse than her pics, nice girl though. I declined going back to her place, I said I was ill. She wanted me to netflix and chill with her after work, I said I'm ill:

Her: Shame would have liked to see you...
Her: Shall I come look after you at yours lol

Honestly... why can't they just fvck off? I only went on the second drinks after work meet up because she was so persistent and throwing herself at me that I want a potential bang when I'm desperate that works 5 min away.

How do you turn down offers to "look after you" when you are supposedly sick? If it's not a GF it just looks desperate and needy as fvck.

 

[throwaway999]

Just tell her you don't want her to catch anything, and you'll make it up to her later

 

[fanatic22]

Lol, I like being taken care of. Once I had to stay at a sorority house because I was locked out of my apartment late at night and all of my friends were asleep. The 5th person I called was my college intern and she let me crash on her sorority’s couch. I walked in there cold, exhausted, in desperate need of laying down...and basically had this group of beautiful smiling women assembling a bed for me, cooking for me, and listening sympathetically as I told them how I got locked out. One of my life’s fondest memories.

 

[The_411]

It’s actually a positive quality. It’s fine to say you prefer convalescing by yourself, but for the most part a woman wanting to take care of you is a positive thing.

 

[backseatjuan]

It's called nesting.

 

[Ranger]

Look up the Florence Nightingale effect. If you’re really sick you most definitely don’t want her taking care of you. This is a mechanism and will make you “fall in love with her”
Women know this instinctively.

 

[LiveYourDream]

My observation is Murk always likes his women to be attentive to him and to show him how much they care about him. Murk likes women that are genuinely into him.

As I see it, Murk simply doesn’t want to be bothered, by a woman he’s not truly interested in. Being cared for by a woman, when you are ill, is not what it is about. Being bothered by an unattractive or undesired woman, when you have no immediate use for her, is really the irritation.

If she was a young, fit, caring HB 9.5 that offered to bring him some homemade soup or come over and look after Murk, this story would have a whole different ending. He might even then decide to play ill just a little longer, just to “appreciate,” her full attention on him.

 

[Chi Town]

I don't mind at all, she will cook for me, clean the crib, *******s ECT

It's a opportunity for her to earn her keeps and show me that she's better than all the other girls in fvcking

 

[Ranger]

I don't mind at all, she will cook for me, clean the crib, *******s ECT

It's a opportunity for her to earn her keeps and show me that she's better than all the other girls in fvcking

LMAO

 

[Murk]

Just tell her you don't want her to catch anything, and you'll make it up to her later

Perfect I’ll be using this

My observation is Murk always likes his women to be attentive to him and to show him how much they care about him. Murk likes women that are genuinely into him.

As I see it, Murk simply doesn’t want to be bothered, by a woman he’s not truly interested in. Being cared for by a woman, when you are ill, is not what it is about. Being bothered by an unattractive or undesired woman, when you have no immediate use for her, is really the irritation.

If she was a young, fit, caring HB 9.5 that offered to bring him some homemade soup or come over and look after Murk, this story would have a whole different ending. He might even then decide to play ill just a little longer, just to “appreciate,” her full attention on him.

That’s true, I need a women who genuinely likes me and shows me that, which is why Sara my roommate is so puzzling because she never shows affection (verbal or physical affirmation) other than fvcking me and enjoying it or getting jealous where other women are concerned.

If a 9.5 wanted to look after me I’d be all over it, I’ve admitted this girl is a 6.5 and I only needed an excuse to use in future when I pull my sick card. Reality is I’ve never had a sick day off work and I battle most illnesses with water and rest.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Exactly. Imagine if it was Sara, a while back, like very shortly after she had moved in.

If she was “attending” to Murk because he wasn’t feeling well and showing him how much she cared, there likely would have been posts declaring her the one or close to it, anyway.

 

[Murk]

I’ve never actually let a women look after me except my mother. When im sick I retreat/hibernate and really don’t wanna be around people.

Funny thing is Sara has had flu this past week and I’ve been doing stuff for her like housework and cooking soups and meal preps and making her tea. I can see she likes it and was slightly playing up to it but I genuinely enjoy a protector role and I’m good at it

 

[LiveYourDream]

Perfect I’ll be using this



That’s true, I need a women who genuinely likes me and shows me that, which is why Sara my roommate is so puzzling because she never shows affection (verbal or physical affirmation) other than fvcking me and enjoying it or getting jealous where other women are concerned.

If a 9.5 wanted to look after me I’d be all over it, I’ve admitted this girl is a 6.5 and I only needed an excuse to use in future when I pull my sick card. Reality is I’ve never had a sick day off work and I battle most illnesses with water and rest.

Murk... the short story is Sara is NOT the person/woman you wish she was. She is not. She is not going to be.

Waiting, hoping, expecting Sara to be ANY different, than her (often times undesirable) actions have shown her to be, is a form of denial, imho.

 

[Murk]

Murk... the short story is Sara is NOT the person/woman you wish she was. She is not. She is not going to be.

Waiting, hoping, expecting Sara to be ANY different, than her (often times undesirable) actions have shown her to be, is a form of denial, imho.

She said the same thing pretty much, “you can’t change me and you can’t expect me to change”

Good, as long as it’s not just me she’s denying but everyone was enough Closure for me to start moving on.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I’ve never actually let a women look after me except my mother. When im sick I retreat/hibernate and really don’t wanna be around people.

Funny thing is Sara has had flu this past week and I’ve been doing stuff for her like housework and cooking soups and meal preps and making her tea. I can see she likes it and was slightly playing up to it but I genuinely enjoy a protector role and I’m good at it

Murk, imho I think a lot of your actions of excess (drinking, drugs, alcohol, even women) are your attempt to cope with (or avoid) the grief around your mother’s passing. I don’t say that as a judgement. I’m living it in my own way,

It all could also simply be my projection onto you. I am sharing in case it is a match and it helps. If none of this resonates, simply disregard.

When I read what you share and how quickly things go up and go down or all around, I see a Murk that is hurting inside. Maybe that is not what is commonly said on SS but Fvck it, we all are human here. Losing a loved one is Fvcking hard!

I see (or imagine) a Murk that has a lot grief inside about his mother’s passing that he’s been trying to avoid, or run from, or cover up, somehow. Drugs, alcohol and focusing on women, are never going to remedy the pain that’s buried inside. They may distract you temporarily but that’s it. And at what price?

I am not trying to make light of any of this. Please know that this comes from a heartfelt place.

My unsolicited (but well intended) opinion is that you would be best served to not look at any woman, as more than a plate, until you truly get to the other side of healing the grief around your mom’s passing.

You have so much potential Murk! You have so much going for you in your career! Don’t let the grief you feel inside (or whatever it is) keep derailing you in unhealthy ways.

I know you want to live a life that would make your mother proud. And a life that makes you proud!! Actions over words, Murk!

I am encouraging you to consider that there still some grief that needs to be felt/processed around the loss of your mother. I don’t know.

I feel moved to suggest/ask that you consider that when you drink to excess, or take drugs to excess, or when you get caught up with women who don’t truly add meaningful value to your life, that maybe in some way...you are simply trying to run away from that pain/loss/hurt/missing you feel inside of you???

Maybe it’s time to face it rather than run from it, Murk??? Are you willing???

I know I need to, in my own life. It scares me. Nothing about it feels comfortable. I also know that great things, people of true character, don’t come from being comfortable. Fortitude is the word that comes to mind.

I believe you have it in you Murk, to step up and move through it, in a healthier way! I do!!! I think deep inside you want to. I think you know your mother would want you to, as well. The question is are you going to???

Murk, I believe my life will be infinitely better if I do. I imagine that for you too, Murk.

Just felt moved to share here more deeply, in case it helps you Murk.

 

[LiveYourDream]

To be clear...no part of what I shared above was intending to call Murk weak, in anyway. It was not intended as a judgement, in any way.

Dealing with the loss of a loved one is often incredibly fvcking hard and painful!!! Everyone does their very best with it. It is never the same, for any two people.

People usually go through grief and feelings around the loss of a loved one, in stages. I am simply suggesting to Murk (and myself) to maybe consider, it is time to upgrade to the next stage. I think there is a healthier option ahead. I think it will bring greater rewards as well. That’s all.

 

[lamath]

I do the same when sick, I remember a few exes taking it very badly because they wanted to take care of me and all i wanted was to be alone.
Then i had to deal with their drama plus my sickness.

I think they felt like i was rejecting them.

 

[In2theGame]

One of my plates helped me when I was sick in the hospital. She stood with me in the hospital for 3 days and made sure I was massaged as well lol. I dont mind as long as they dont **** with me or else I'll just tell them to leave.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Personally I love being looked after if I'm sick, as long as I have an actual established relationship with her. Some guys like to be coddled, and some don't. There seems to be no middle ground. Although I value alone time more than most by far, I'll take that nursing care any day.

 

[marmel75]

Lol, I like being taken care of. Once I had to stay at a sorority house because I was locked out of my apartment late at night and all of my friends were asleep. The 5th person I called was my college intern and she let me crash on her sorority’s couch. I walked in there cold, exhausted, in desperate need of laying down...and basically had this group of beautiful smiling women assembling a bed for me, cooking for me, and listening sympathetically as I told them how I got locked out. One of my life’s fondest memories.

Group sex?