Women want Power, not Love.

[metalwater]

Your comments are sensible but their can be other dynamics at play.

Submissiveness is exhibited by a woman who respects and reveres her man. This means (and this gets emphasized around here a great deal - and rightly so) that the man needs to have value in the woman’s eyes.

Thing is that value is ALWAYS relative. It is a sliding scale. The HB 9 woman with a Yale degree is unlikely to find value in a janitor man.

Just as a hot male corporate lawyer is unlikely to find value in an overweight file clerk woman.

Water seeks its own level. If tension exists in a relationship often a place to look is the relative value of the partners. Women, I don’t care what they say, want a man who they find a catch, who they see as at least equal if not higher than her in value. To such a man she will submit. If a woman thinks she is the higher value partner (in other words she settled in some way for a man she deems lesser value than herself) then problems ensue, respect erodes and conflicts involving control arise. She won’t submit to a lower value man.

Another frequent cause of control issues is insecurity on the part of the man (which really is a reflection of a man’s perception of his value relative to hers.)

Men don’t usually need to exert control over submissive women unless their is insecurity on the man’s part. Insecure people seek control as a mechanism of alleviating fears and worries that arise out of lack. Lack of value, lack of self esteem, etc. This has little to do with the partner & everything to do with the insecure individual. In fact having a high value partner can heighten insecurity, exacerbating it.

I think what your telling is that if the woman can not submit to the man she should leave. else she will create insecurity in him and that is not good for either of them. we disagree on the root cause of the insecurity, but the results are the same... you tell that it is self generated by the man if I understand. I believe it is imposed by the actions and vibe of the woman. and it does lead to control issues. our difference is where the blame is... i never seen a man show insecurity about his woman when she is treating him well in all ways.

the subtle difference is that at the end, she left him because he is insecure. she is the good one... or she left him because she made him unsecure. she is the bad one.

I guess it is just red pill 101 and the laws of attraction, carry on

 

[BeExcellent]

@metalwater I am not saying the woman causes insecurity in the man.

Some men are insecure, period. I just got out of a relationship with such a man. He wasn’t insecure because of me. He is an insecure person. Despite his very handsome appearance & sexy vibe & ability to attract many women he is insecure.

This manifested as jealousy, constant attention seeking behavior looking for external validation of himself, and seeking control in the relationship to an unreasonable degree despite my respect & submissiveness to him. He said to me many many times he wasn’t “good enough” for me. He is a very insecure man and that affects his relationships adversely.

 

[Lookatu]

@metalwater I am not saying the woman causes insecurity in the man.

Some men are insecure, period.

There are a lot out there surprisingly. The gal I'm seeing now was afraid to tell me that she got a masters from Harvard thinking I may be intimidated by that or threatened in some way because she said it's happened before. Another gal didn't want to tell me that she was a COO of a company. Another gal didn't wanna tell me or invite me to her place because she lived in a million dollar condo in downtown and always had me pick her up outside(because she also had a nice Mercedes). And so on...
The point is that these gals have had negative reactions from previous guys they've been out with that had security issues so they sometimes are hesitant to reveal too much of themselves early on if they think it could hurt the relationship.

 

[metalwater]

@metalwater I am not saying the woman causes insecurity in the man.

Some men are insecure, period. I just got out of a relationship with such a man. He wasn’t insecure because of me. He is an insecure person. Despite his very handsome appearance & sexy vibe & ability to attract many women he is insecure.

This manifested as jealousy, constant attention seeking behavior looking for external validation of himself, and seeking control in the relationship to an unreasonable degree despite my respect & submissiveness to him. He said to me many many times he wasn’t “good enough” for me. He is a very insecure man and that affects his relationships adversely.

got it. that is different than i was thinking. thanks for clarify.