I have a theory on this, hear me out BB I'm interested in your perspective.
Talk about what a women wants in a man. Good looks, charm, money, network. That's really dumbing things down, but let's say all of the characteristics that make the "SMV" of a man can be simplified into one of those four categories. Women like a man who has all of them.
It's just the finished product that they care about though - in their mind, the established man who has all of these things "just is". Never mind that the sexy 35 year old doctor studied his @$$ off all throughout high school, college, and medical school and made huge sacrifices in his social life to do so. No girl would have liked those qualities in him then. What about the hardworking 23 year old dude who's got an average build, awkward socially, and focusing on building his career? Women laugh at him.
Looks: How do women see a chubby guy busting his @$$ at the gym and eating clean? They laugh. Even a guy I went to high school with who significantly improved his physique, I know chicks just kind of laugh at it. They see pics of him on Facebook now with other hot girls but don't seem to give any respect to the work he put in to improve himself.
Charm: The socially awkward guy who does 100 cold approaches to improve his social skills? Creep, loser.
Money: The brilliant 22 year old entrepreneur who's putting it all on the line to start his own business? A wannabee.
Network: A guy who just moved in to town and doesn't know anyone but is trying his best to meet people? Loner.
Women don't seem to believe in self-improvement. They don't respect nor appreciate it. When they see a man putting it all on the line to work at it, they ridicule him, thinking "Whatever, Nathan will always be the nerdy chubby guy I knew in high school".
I see this in my gf. I've been with her for almost two years and love her to death and will marry her someday. Early on, I tried to help her with her career and encourage her to try new things, learn new things, do self-improvement related things. She reacted by feeling very hurt, saying I was trying to change her and didn't like her for who she is. I was just like...wut? To me, self-improvement is such a given facet of life that there's no reason not to do it. I'm a great piano player, and she says it turns her on when I play a beautiful piece. What she has no idea of is how I spent hours EVERY DAY in my childhood practicing, making ugly, ugly sounds on the piano that no one would ever enjoy hearing. She doesn't see all of that - all she sees is "My boyfriend IS a great pianist." She doesn't see, "Wow, my boyfriend is extremely hardworking because he practiced so hard and became so skilled."
OK, getting to my actual theory. WHY DO WOMEN SEE IT THIS WAY?
My belief is that a woman's "value" in life, namely her looks, are given. They have a LOT LESS power over improving their own "value" than a man does. As men, we can work out, eat right, make money, learn game, etc. A woman has far less options at her disposal. Granted there are small things they can do like stay fit, dress nice, apply cosmetics correctly, and even have surgery, they're much more limited.
Perhaps this is why WOMEN see people as STATIC and MEN see people as DYNAMIC. Of course I'm oversimplifying this, but to a woman, once a loser always a loser. Once a winner always a winner. There's no such thing as a "self-made man" to them. The guy who goes from nothing to something, at the beginning a woman will say he's nothing and will always be nothing. At the end a woman will say he's a winner because he's always been a winner all along.
