Women that get roped into dating a loser

[051AV]

No I'm not the loser , a friend of mind she started dating a loser 6 years ago she was with him for a few years she dumped him 4 years ago, today she's still dealing with the mess he created, their relationship got financially involved he left her with debt to repay etc.

Back when she started dating this guy she was lonely he filled her head with promises which ended up all lies. I haven't seen her in a long time I stopped to see her, she expresses her emotions when I'm with her she didn't start crying but I could tell she's frustrated.

The question is why is it when a woman is feeling lonely they lose the ability to think and choose a guy that's a total loser?

 

[RangerMIke]

Women think emotionally not rationally. She had an emotional attachment to this dude in much the same way people get addicted to drugs, only her drug was the feel good hormones she produced when she was with the 'loser'. The only cure for this is another dude that comes along that makes her tingle. Men do the same thing when we are addicted to feel good hormones, I've seen more than a few men act like complete fools around hot chicks... spending small fortunes trying to drive up a woman's attraction.

The difference is that men typically figure out sooner when they are on a road to no-where and move on, if they are smart. There is no one to bail the man out of bad decisions because the burden of performance is on the male.

Chicks don't do this because she knows that at some point another dude will come along and bail her out of the sh!t she finds herself bogged down in. This chick, who was left with a mountain of debt left by the 'loser' (BTW, why is he a loser? Really he got free sex and left all his problems behind, while I'm sure he banging a new chick) has a pretty good chance of finding a White Knight Simp (WKS) that will save her... now she may have to 'suffer' by letting a dude she has no real attraction for fvck her, but WKS will fix her problems... and when they are fixed, chick will dump him for another bad boy loser because that is what she is emotionally attracted too.

Men have three choices:

1) You will use women. (Your cost is you will be labeled a 'loser' or '@ss-hole')
2) You will let women use you. (Your cost is your emotional well being and finances)
3) You insist that anything you give a women is reciprocated. (Your cost is you will go though a lot of chicks before you find one that fits)

Truth is everything has a cost.. you just have to figure out what you are willing to pay.

 

[Ranger]

No I'm not the loser , a friend of mind she started dating a loser 6 years ago she was with him for a few years she dumped him 4 years ago, today she's still dealing with the mess he created, their relationship got financially involved he left her with debt to repay etc.

Back when she started dating this guy she was lonely he filled her head with promises which ended up all lies. I haven't seen her in a long time I stopped to see her, she expresses her emotions when I'm with her she didn't start crying but I could tell she's frustrated.

The question is why is it when a woman is feeling lonely they lose the ability to think and choose a guy that's a total loser?

Women are responsible for the men they sleep with. I feel no empathy for this.

 

[Ranger]

They don't get roped in. What's she going to say, "I have low self esteem so I choose rotten men?"

I’m not so sure of this. In fact, I don’t think it’s that at all LA. I think she has so few choices due to the lack of masculine men.
She is looking for indicators of breeding fitness. The man who exhibits the right traits gets the breeding rights.

 

[lamath]

A loser can still be an Alpha
If you are asking this question you should really educate yourself more

Read Rollo's book

 

[Ranger]

Don't let your understanding stop with Rollo. He explains 50% of it, but It's no different than the man that constantly choose damaged women. 50% of that is going after hot women regardless of value but 50% of that is he feels insecure around actualized women.

Well the man who constantly attracts damaged women does so because of the way he thinks. He’s always on the look out and in some cases expects it.

We just happen to disagree. Cool by me. I don’t want to rehash the obvious.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

BTW, why is he a loser?

This is the key part IMHO.

OP: Define "loser"? Is it that he has no good job, no money, drug problems, bunch of kids with other women, etc? Because if so, most women do not care too much about that if a guy has good game. Women want game, and to some extent, looks. They will forgive the other stuff if he has these two things. How many upstanding guys with good jobs and money do you know who don't get women and are upset about it? MANY.

 

[sazc]

They don't get roped in. What's she going to say, "I have low self esteem so I choose rotten men?"

This. Thing is, some women never realize their low self esteem continues to have them picking rotten meat.

There are literally so many dynamics at play I marvel at how any single poster on this board thinks he can actually answer this question correctly - because there are so many possible answers.

 

[guru1000]

Status is all.

Looks are a part of status. So is money. So is "game."

We are social creatures foremost. "Game"--which is fundamentally how one relates with and influences women and others--cements a value perception of where one is positioned in the social hierarchy. If the "loser" has good "game" and thus is perceived as positioned well in this hierarchy, then he is construed to have high status despite having no tangibles.

This "loser" will excel only in the subset of women where tangibles (assets, occupation) are not the only markers of status.

 

[Chi Town]

This is the key part IMHO.

OP: Define "loser"? Is it that he has no good job, no money, drug problems, bunch of kids with other women, etc? Because if so, most women do not care too much about that if a guy has good game. Women want game, and to some extent, looks. They will forgive the other stuff if he has these two things. How many upstanding guys with good jobs and money do you know who don't get women and are upset about it? MANY.

This

 

[Spaz]

The question is why is it when a woman is feeling lonely they lose the ability to think and choose a guy that's a total loser?

The masculine imperative is to win.

He won and moved on.

You're in the wrong mind frame to think he's a loser.

 

[051AV]

I knew of this guy she was seeing, his reputation..... eh not so great, he was a heavy beer drinker, things started to get worse he got into the heavy drugs. He works in the resource industry makes good money, the drug problem got in the way, things started going down hill fast. When you make big money you spend it, he got over his head in debt of course things were both in their names. Fast forward to today she's still dealing with the financial mess because he doesn't want to take responsibility. She's got a restraining order on him because he's gone off the deep end. He's still got his drug addiction, the last woman I seen him with was a rough looking broad

As for my friend I don't think she's insecure, I've known her since 2005 she's 8 years older than me, she was married young raised healthy family, she was probably 24-25 when she got married. Her and her husband married for 20 years or so, got divorced it was a mutual separation. I remember when she was feeling lonely, frustrated she couldn't find a man. Even her girl friends couldn't talk her out of staying single at the time, her life was good, no debt, she was living the good life.

I know women base decisions on emotions I worked with women for 12 years, women in management, it was frustrating at times, you can't get mad at them for their fvck ups because they would get all emotional. I had a female boss she would get things so fvcked up then her emotions would get in the way and get angry and sh*t would get even worse. Why women can't make decisions logically is beyond me but they sure can't do it that way.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I guess, for better or worse, b1tches be crazy.

 

[Dash Riprock]

This. Thing is, some women never realize their low self esteem continues to have them picking rotten meat.

There are literally so many dynamics at play I marvel at how any single poster on this board thinks he can actually answer this question correctly - because there are so many possible answers.

I think @sazc will agree with me on this: Women (and men) cannot choose whom they're attracted to. Which means all the material bulls*hit like nice cars, big houses, flashy watch--whatever--generally won't raise her level of attraction. It may pique her interest and position you as a provider, but your car generally will not get her sexual juices flowing. Only YOU can do that. Your personality, level of confidence, demeanor--basically all the internal things that she's after. Looks count too. The other material crap is just a value-add.

And yes, alphas can be, and often are, "losers" is the long run. I recently wrote a post about this: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-often-misused-term-alpha.254186/

That's why the goal is to be a DJ--always.