women that game men -a post I found by a girl

[broken dreams]

I found this post by a girl: makes sense who they spin us plates.


Just some thoughts that I have that were inspired by a recent forum i frequent...

I personally believe that if you're a single girl, then by all means, if you want to, go on out there and have fun (especially if you are young). Enjoy meeting new people. Enjoy going out on lots of dates. Just have fun with everything. If you don't want to be tied down, then it's perfectly fine.

But...I feel like a girl who is doing that needs to abide by two cardinal rules

#1 - BE SAFE!!!! If you aren't just sleeping with one dude, then for God's sake make sure you are safe, clean and healthy!!!

#2 - (and this is more at the heart of what I want to talk about) BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT AND YOUR SITUATION.

When it comes to single girls who are playing the field, I only have a serious problem with one type - the player (we're not going to get into girls who are clingy or girls who are controlling as they are less likely to be "playing the field" so to speak since their attentions are focused on one man).

There is, of course, the classic player. The girl who sees multiple men at the same time, all the while making the individual man believe that they the only ones that he is seeing.

But then there's what I call the "dangler." The dangler is the girl who dangles the prospect of a relationship in front of a man while she strings him along. she may be stringing him along for a couple of reasons. Oftentimes, it's for one of two reasons - 1) She genuinely isn't really sure that She wants to be with just him. She likes spending time with him, but She isn't sure she wants to commit to him. Or it may be that she isn't sure that she wants a relationship in the first place. So she holds on to her while she (unbeknownst to him) keeps her options open. 2) SHe knows he isn't "girlfriend" material in her eyes or that she doesn't want a relationship with him. But he's a security blanket. So she holds on to him while she searches for the BBD

Is there anything inherently wrong in seeing more than one person at once if you're single?

Nope.

Is there anything inherently wrong in not knowing what you want and wanting to keep an opportunity open with someone?

Nope.

Is there anything inherently wrong in not being honest with someone with regard to where they stand with you as far as dating and a relationship?

Yep.

With regard to the first kind of player, the classic player, there's just no justification for that. To deliberately deceive someone into thinking they're the only one is just plain wrong and mean. You can see whoever the hell you want and not have to lie to others about it.

The second instance is more understandable. You really like the person, you've gotten close, to the point where the other one may want a relationship with you. If you tell them you're not sure, then you may risk them not wanting to hang around and you possibly losing someone who could have been good for you.

But that's the risk that you take when you choose to be responsible, mature, and considerate of others.

But on the other hand, men sometimes don't make being honest easy. Or rather, generally speaking, PEOPLE don't always make it easy to be honest and speak freely. Some people cannot handle the truth of matters, and won't react well. Understandably, your average person wants to avoid that

But, if you are honest about your situation, your feelings, and what it is that you truly want (even when you don't know what you want), you could save yourself a lot of headaches in the end.

So girls, in my mind, there's really no reason to be a player. Do what what you will, enjoy your life, and enjoy your freedom. Just be honest about it. In the end, I'm sure it will bring some good karma your way

 

[Colossus]

I don't disagree with this. In fact it's not that much different from what we advocate here.

As long as you are forthright about your intentions there is nothing dishonorable about spinning plates. That, to me, is really what it boils down to. But, as I am finding out, if you are going to make this statement you are going to be tested and confronted with opportunities to choose a path. It is rarely an easy choice, because as the above poster said there is a patent risk in being honest about what you are doing. You may lose a person that could have been a great addition to your life.

 

[broken dreams]

this post is awesome!

I find it is the way they think is what fascinates me.

THEY HATE TO MAKE DESCICIONS

Its up to us to make it happen and leave it to them to accept or bail out.

I think if guys read this asking for advice they see the root of it all.

I rather have a woman ask me for a relationship than have her LJBF.

know this stuff and play your cards right fellas....

 

[Mr. Me]

It sounds like she's saying be clear and honest. Good for her. But women game men in more ways than just covertly seeing multiple men at a time while duping each one into thinking it's exclusive, so this article is but a drop in the bucket, one gal's opinion, and I wouldn't look at it as how women universally think.

Also, consider that she's writing publicly and that influences what she's going to say. What people say and what they do are often two different things.

The part that gets me though is how she tosses in "But on the other hand, men sometimes don't make being honest easy. "

Whatever women do, it's always the guy's fault, eh? Here we go again.

So when a woman is honest, is that because the guy made it easy for her to be honest? She can't be honest unless it's "easy" to be honest, whatever that means? Seems to me it's more difficult and more work to make up lies and remember them and keep track of what you said to whom and keep to the stories and cover your tracks and deliberately be deceptive to everyone.

 

[mrRuckus]

The part that gets me though is how she tosses in "But on the other hand, men sometimes don't make being honest easy. "

Meaning that if the fallout of being honest is detrimental: don't do it. If the guy isn't going to accept you fvcking 5 other guys while seeing him: don't be honest! If you know he'll roll over and says ok you can see him and a bunch of other dudes, then tell him.. cause you know, it'll make you feel better later on when you lie to another guy and you can think back and remember that one time you "did the right thing."

edit: removed a "don't" that didn't belong there

 

[Single_Sucks]

Mr Ruckus I agree, that is so annoying about women

They do not talk things over honestly if they think it will get a bad reaction

Some people cannot handle the truth of matters, and won't react well. Understandably, your average person wants to avoid that

Understandably???!!! I think that is sick!

So if women are so scared of getting into a 'uncomfortable' situation then can't we just use that to manipulate them to do whatever we want....I'm gonna seriously think about that tactic now....

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

But then there's what I call the "dangler." The dangler is the girl who dangles the prospect of a relationship in front of a man while she strings him along. she may be stringing him along for a couple of reasons. Oftentimes, it's for one of two reasons - 1) She genuinely isn't really sure that She wants to be with just him. She likes spending time with him, but She isn't sure she wants to commit to him. Or it may be that she isn't sure that she wants a relationship in the first place. So she holds on to her while she (unbeknownst to him) keeps her options open. 2) SHe knows he isn't "girlfriend" material in her eyes or that she doesn't want a relationship with him. But he's a security blanket. So she holds on to him while she searches for the BBD

This is the reason you never are clingy
This is the reason you never call or text a girl 100's of times.
This is the reason you never put a girl on a pedistal.
This is the reason you never stop going to the gym.
This is the reason you never stop dating other women.
This is the reason you never stop hanging out with your lads/boys/homies.
This is the reason you never stop getting better - in your career, family, friends, and spiritual life.

A chick like this was the reason the DJB was ever written. AFCs can learn a lot from the quote above.

 

[mrRuckus]

Oftentimes, it's for one of two reasons - 1) She genuinely isn't really sure that She wants to be with just him. She likes spending time with him, but She isn't sure she wants to commit to him. Or it may be that she isn't sure that she wants a relationship in the first place. So she holds on to her while she (unbeknownst to him) keeps her options open.

What's the point in being with a low interest girl?

The more girls I see and the more I experience the more I'm going with Rollo Tomassi's whole thing about desire. I don't want some girl that is half assing it or "unsure" of wanting to be around me. A girl who is going to end up thinking you're freakin awesome isn't "unsure." One or two dates maybe, but after that she is either positive she wants to glue herself to me or it's time to move on. She should be thrilled to be around me or why am I wasting my time?

Then i remember something Pook said about girls being the first to break their rules once a DJ is involved. I doubt this chick is going to be spinning plates still when an awesome dude who won't tolerate that comes waltzing in.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

What's the point in being with a low interest girl?

The more girls I see and the more I experience the more I'm going with Rollo Tomassi's whole thing about desire. I don't want some girl that is half assing it or "unsure" of wanting to be around me. A girl who is going to end up thinking you're freakin awesome isn't "unsure." One or two dates maybe, but after that she is either positive she wants to glue herself to me or it's time to move on. She should be thrilled to be around me or why am I wasting my time?

Then i remember something Pook said about girls being the first to break their rules once a DJ is involved. I doubt this chick is going to be spinning plates still when an awesome dude who won't tolerate that comes waltzing in.

Great points mrRuckus! I remember some advice of Pook's that really stuck out about IL. I'm paraphrasing, but the gist was - If a woman has high IL in you, she'd do nearly anything to be around you.

If she has an opportunity to go on a date with Brad Pitt, most women would call in sick to work, cancel any previous plans, and go shopping for the hottest clothes and makeup. Now, I'm no Brad Pitt, but if a woman doesn't show the same 'desire' to go on a date with me...then she's nexted.