Women that don't like confidence

[moonman53376]

I think I just bodged up the last attempt at a post.

Up until I met this one particular girl I had all my **** together and was perhaps the most suave guy out there. Student pres and all that, I was certainly the most popular at school and the word confidence was synomous wih me. so I sound bigheaded but I really had it down.

But then I met this one girl who I just fell for like mad. I thought I'd just sweep her off her feet as She was quite socially inexperienced and admitted she had never met a guy like me before. But when I asked her out she said I was just too confident and had me down to be far too sexually experienced. Everything that made me successful with every other women just didnt do **** for her.

THe confidence thing was a big turn off for her. although we are good friends now I really dont want to be. I totally fell for her but failed miserably. she didnt like anything about me that made me successful in the past. she saw me as a threat as although she is initially fairly shy she loves to be the centre of attention and I think she realised I would always steal the limelight.

Anyone else find a woman that hated confidence? and waht the hell do you do get a woman that youre just friends with?

 

[squirrels]

Consider this...do you WANT a girl who is shy and unsure of herself and demands constant attention/validation?

 

[Cheiradawg]

First off, your post is full of contridictions.

You had all of your **** together and you were the mack daddy pimp of hte world but (1)this wierd chick threw you off (2) now you have a case of oneitis for her and (3) you thought you had her when you really didn't.

But besides that you fell for her and you are placing too much value on this chick because of it. Who cares if she says or really is attracted to other things than the other 99% of the female population. If you have all your **** together then just forget her and go back to what you were doing before you met this one girl.

 

[Walken]

Are you really confident or just fronting?

 

[Best friends? NAY]

Maybe, she was saying this to get you to like her more? Which in that case it worked. But now you blew it beacuse you.

totally fell for her

 

[moonman53376]

Yeah, when thinking with a serious head I have concluded that I have totally blown it and should walk away.

I used plenty of past tense, I was this and was that until I met her.

Obviously my confidence (it wasnt a front btw) was shook but it wouldnt have been if she hadnt directly identifed it as being the reason she didnt like me. and I know its not like she mistook it for arrogance.

I will admit I have been shaken aback and am more sceptical because she was an exception to everything before and most I have read so far on this site (mate told me about it last night so I havent read it all).

I guess I have blown it for 'falling for her'. Since then I have been quite pathetic around her just 'being her friend' and whilst I have no problem being the DJ the rest of the time, this one girl has me stumped.

Ive met several girls since her that I have 'really liked' and been fine with them and no problems but then I always think back to this kelly.

Now that I've conceeded (when thinking straight) will she ever truly see me as just a friend or will she actually never stop seeing me as this guy that tried it on once and always be sceptical of me? I can't help but think she just wants the attention and doesnt truly want to be mates.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by moonman53376
Now that I've conceeded (when thinking straight) will she ever truly see me as just a friend or will she actually never stop seeing me as this guy that tried it on once and always be sceptical of me? I can't help but think she just wants the attention and doesnt truly want to be mates.

So stop giving it to her, then. She's already GOT your attention, or else you wouldn't be sitting on a message board debating whether to give it to her.

I think it's wrong for a girl to tell you that you're TOO confident and high-on-life for her, that she wants you to be less confident in yourself so she can approach you on HER level instead of bettering herself to match YOUR level of self-confidence.

Unless you're being downright arrogant...in which case maybe you DO need to turn it down a little. You DO have to understand that some people will not be as confident with your high level of confidence and as a result will dislike you for it...usually because of their own low confidence. And sometimes you need to compromise and tone it down a bit to get along with those people.

But for a romantic partner, I don't feel that you should HAVE to tone down your confidence. You should find a partner who can handle it.

 

[JJMcLure]

Some chicks are definitely wary of high confidence and if you are good looking too, that multiplies the effect. They badge you as a player etc and actively look for a reason to "reject" you.

The kind of situation where they feel you're above them so they pre-reject you to save their ego.

I recently experienced this with a super shy/inexperienced chick I decided to work on. It was all going well, I developed good rapport and we kept high levels of strong EC, but shortly after I think she suddenly got nervous/unsure and started acting somewhat aloof for no reason.

You've just got to remain congruent, I'm not gonna change anything for her (never do that for a chick! - not only will it not work with them it will fvck your overall game up too).

Really it is not your fault at all, it is their lack of social skills and their insecurities that form a barrier.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

The problem here was INTIMIDATION most likely. She was intimidated/felt out of phase with you.


Solution!? Take control, she ****tested you bad and you fell for it.

 

[DJ_Dork]

Dude, wtf? Girls hate confidence.. Is this a joke?

I concur with Kinetic. She tested you by saying you are TOO CONFIDENT for her. If you backed off her - YOU FAILED. You should've did made fun of your loser narcissistic self and possibly, you might have a chance to go out with her.

To end this post here's another note:

Never brag. If someone knows you are all powerful, downplay it.. or next time you are in public make a mistake like spilling drink all over your pants. People will laugh at you, but it's better than your enemies rubbing their hands together plotting your doom.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by moonman53376
THe confidence thing was a big turn off for her. although we are good friends now I really dont want to be. I totally fell for her but failed miserably. she didnt like anything about me that made me successful in the past.

Yoiu are making assumptions - did she tell you that 'confidence' was a turn-off??

Secondly, are you expecting every girl you approach to like you - why??

Thirdly, you are so-called 'friends' with her yet you don't want to be!!! Of course you don't - you want her as a romantic partner - so why in sam-hill are you a chump and trying to be her 'friend' when you really have ulterior motives!!! Do you think she'll like you as time passes? Wrong!!

You are making yourself look as if you seek her approval - since she is the only one that has rejected your wooing advances then I take it that this is your motive as to why you are her friend!

Men don't seek approval from a woman!!

 

[moonman53376]

Thanks for this lads, this site is really helpful.

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover

Yoiu are making assumptions - did she tell you that 'confidence' was a turn-off?? Secondly, are you expecting every girl you approach to like you - why??

Yeah she did tell me it was cos I was too confident. It's not like I am expecting every girl to like me, Ive been shot down plenty of times but this one knocked me for six, especially cos we really click and gel.

Some girls that I've been turned down by I never started/continued a friendship with. But with Kelly (her name) I felt different, I didnt want to come across as shallow or something and just ignore her as it wasnt just about trying to split her kippers (I'd love to do that obviously but it is more than that). I mean I do really enjoy her company and even though I'd like it to be more its not just a sex thing.

originally posted by squirrels

So stop giving it to her, then. She's already GOT your attention, or else you wouldn't be sitting on a message board debating whether to give it to her.

I think I will try, but sometimes I think its better to have in my life as a friend than not at all.

Originally posted by JJMcLure

You've just got to remain congruent, I'm not gonna change anything for her (never do that for a chick! - not only will it not work with them it will fvck your overall game up too).

cheers, its easy to forget this one, I shouldnt change for no fvcker.

I have been thinking of staying completely away from her, as realistically its not going to get any better, and Im just gonna get sucked in more.

 

[joecollapoppa]

Yeah I have lots of confidence and alot of women confront me and try to put me down. I think they like me but don't want to or something.

 

[Player_Supreme]

I really hate reading posts like this. A man falling for a woman instead of the other way around. Can you say SYMP!

You don't get sprung. It's your job to make her get sprung. If she isn't digging or feeling you then move the fawk on. Why waste time on a femanazi anyways.

No man should have to wear a leash around his fawking neck just to get laid from a crazy psycho bytch who is threated by anyone who acts like a real man.

Fawk her and fawk any fool who chases after her and bends over for her.

Fawk this shyt!!!!!