Women that are too busy to date?

[Moonlounger]

I met this gal on an online dating site, and she seems interested when we're face to face, but it's like pulling teeth to schedule dates.

She's easily one of the best looking chicks I've dated, and is smart on top of that. Conversation has been great. She's in med school, just started working in a hospital part time as part of her schooling, plays in an orchestra on the side.
Been on three dates with her so far, made out on the second date (working on getting better with that), and third date wasn't that hot.

Scheduling the third date consisted of:

Me moving the date twice due to her having to stay late at the hospital, me rescheduling for following week, her texting the next day to try and plan something a day later, only to text later cancelling citing work obligations, finally agreeing to happy hour on a Monday, only to text the night before asking to move the time up so she had more time to prepare for work (night shift).
Third date came, I paid for everything (I pay unless they offer to help), and got a quick hug in the parking lot because she had to get ready for work.

I didn't call or text her for a week, and got a text Saturday asking how my 4th was. Texted back and forth a little, I called her today and she couldn't talk due to being out at dinner with her roommates. She called a few hours later, and it went to voice mail as I was away from phone.


I understand it can be rude to take a phone call at dinner, but this is the second time she's been out with friends and says she can't talk. Her plan is to take a year off med school, and go for an MBA as part of a joint program at her university. So two more years of school, then there's residency for about 3 years, then finally she's a doctor. So she'll be 32 then, and probably working crazy hours as a doctor.

I get that she's got a lot going on right now, but dating on top of it all? Something's got to give, and it's been my sorry ass up to now.

Is it worth entertaining this option further?
If I'm a low priority now, I will probably be a low priority in her eyes forever.
Seems like she's chosen being a doctor over finding a guy at this time.

Would the best action be to disappear on her, or let her know what the issue is?

What have your experiences been with women "too busy to date"?
What do you look out for?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear MoonLounger,
Sounds like she has the makings of an excellent Plate!

 

[MOTU]

Yea bro her interest level just isn't that high. Move on.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Yep, any girl who's into you won't be too busy. In fact, if she's TRULY into you, she'll move heaven and Earth to be with you.

Move on.

 

[Moonlounger]

Thanks guys, I'm done with this one, time to fade away. Too bad on her part, ah well.

 

[compleks]

Don't fade away, you need to full phantom.
Give her nothing. If she becomes interested then let her chase you.

 

[Zunder]

I met this gal on an online dating site, and she seems interested when we're face to face, but it's like pulling teeth to schedule dates.

She's easily one of the best looking chicks I've dated, and is smart on top of that. Conversation has been great. She's in med school, just started working in a hospital part time as part of her schooling, plays in an orchestra on the side.
Been on three dates with her so far, made out on the second date (working on getting better with that), and third date wasn't that hot.

Scheduling the third date consisted of:

Me moving the date twice due to her having to stay late at the hospital, me rescheduling for following week, her texting the next day to try and plan something a day later, only to text later cancelling citing work obligations, finally agreeing to happy hour on a Monday, only to text the night before asking to move the time up so she had more time to prepare for work (night shift).
Third date came, I paid for everything (I pay unless they offer to help), and got a quick hug in the parking lot because she had to get ready for work.

I didn't call or text her for a week, and got a text Saturday asking how my 4th was. Texted back and forth a little, I called her today and she couldn't talk due to being out at dinner with her roommates. She called a few hours later, and it went to voice mail as I was away from phone.


I understand it can be rude to take a phone call at dinner, but this is the second time she's been out with friends and says she can't talk. Her plan is to take a year off med school, and go for an MBA as part of a joint program at her university. So two more years of school, then there's residency for about 3 years, then finally she's a doctor. So she'll be 32 then, and probably working crazy hours as a doctor.

I get that she's got a lot going on right now, but dating on top of it all? Something's got to give, and it's been my sorry ass up to now.

Is it worth entertaining this option further?
If I'm a low priority now, I will probably be a low priority in her eyes forever.
Seems like she's chosen being a doctor over finding a guy at this time.

Would the best action be to disappear on her, or let her know what the issue is?

What have your experiences been with women "too busy to date"?
What do you look out for?

I have to say this must be a wind up.
Surely you are taking the piss and this you really didn't allow this to happen.

 

[Moonlounger]

I have to say this must be a wind up.
Surely you are taking the piss and this you really didn't allow this to happen.

Yup :kick:

Haven't returned her call from Sunday, she just sent me a text message asking how my weeks going. Still going no contact.

She's trying to rope me back into her frame?

 

[nismo-4]

Yup :kick:

Haven't returned her call from Sunday, she just sent me a text message asking how my weeks going. Still going no contact.

She's trying to rope me back into her frame?

Stay ghost. Your princess is in another castle.

She was too busy because there was a better man in the picture. She wouldn't be too busy to see Lebron James. If he asked her out, she would have drilled through Stone Mountain to make that happen. Think about that.

Case closed.

 

[jc_80]

sometimes people are just too busy. been on both. sides myself. if they're interested they'll make some time but it just won't be enough for the one with more time. just stay in touch and let her make plans. tell her your time is valuable so you can't tolerate cancelled plans anymore so make sure she follows through or you won't be able to accept her invitations anymore.

 

[dark god]

She has a profile on dating website but is too busy to date?

 

[Desdinova]

Sounds like her IL just isn't high enough. You can do one of two things...

1) Write her off
2) Put in the effort at raising her IL

Busy women will NOT make you a priority if their IL in you isn't on the same level or higher than her IL in the other 5hit going on in her life. Jacking up a woman's IL to make YOU a priority takes a bit of work, but it's not impossible.

What you should do with these kinds of chicks is practice text game on them. Since they're practically write-offs anyway, there's no harm in experimenting. Start a conversation about what you like to do to the women you get involved with, and go into detail about touching them, whispering in their ear, and kissing them. Women who have even a bit of IL will put their imagination to work and start relating these things to you and her.

If humour works well for you, try putting you and her into a funny situation, texting her and teasing her while putting the both of you through the story. That works incredibly well too.

You really need to stimulate their emotions and imagination in the beginning in order to have them cancelling other 5hit to spend time with you. Some women require more effort than others. The good news is once you get their IL high enough, gaming her is easy and straight-forward.

Again, use these women as practice. You can't master anything if you throw away your opportunities to practice.

 

[VikingKing]

She doesn't want to date you. However she would love if you talk to her and keep giving her validation. If you be her buddy long enough, she might let you do her other favors also.

 

[VladPatton]

"I'm too busy with work/school/friends/traveling/my cats/learning a new religion/returning video tapes" = You don't make my taco tingle and I enjoy giving you a creative lie instead of the truth (no).

Find better prospects, homie.

 

[glass half full]

If she's too busy to date, just move on. No need to wonder or care, you will find someone else, and she will do without. And that's just fine.

 

[Warrior74]

Yup. I dated a chic who worked two jobs, was in nursing school and had two problem teenagers at home. She still would move heaven and earth to come over and suck my d1ck, until she realized I wasn't gonna commit and then she was suddenly "too busy".

Don't believe what they say, believe what they do.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Stay ghost. Your princess is in another castle.

She was too busy because there was a better man in the picture. She wouldn't be too busy to see Lebron James. If he asked her out, she would have drilled through Stone Mountain to make that happen. Think about that.

Case closed.

Classic response. Anways I find it weird that some women demand they have a boyfriend/serious relationship yet you see a lot of cheating around. Man, this world is upside down. Some women don´t want to risk looking like wh0res but then they cheat a lot. Ashley madsion? To hell with it.

Escorts are much more honest in this regard, at least you know what you´re getting.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Sounds like her IL just isn't high enough. You can do one of two things...

1) Write her off
2) Put in the effort at raising her IL

Busy women will NOT make you a priority if their IL in you isn't on the same level or higher than her IL in the other 5hit going on in her life. Jacking up a woman's IL to make YOU a priority takes a bit of work, but it's not impossible.

What you should do with these kinds of chicks is practice text game on them. Since they're practically write-offs anyway, there's no harm in experimenting. Start a conversation about what you like to do to the women you get involved with, and go into detail about touching them, whispering in their ear, and kissing them. Women who have even a bit of IL will put their imagination to work and start relating these things to you and her.

If humour works well for you, try putting you and her into a funny situation, texting her and teasing her while putting the both of you through the story. That works incredibly well too.

You really need to stimulate their emotions and imagination in the beginning in order to have them cancelling other 5hit to spend time with you. Some women require more effort than others. The good news is once you get their IL high enough, gaming her is easy and straight-forward.

Again, use these women as practice. You can't master anything if you throw away your opportunities to practice.

Wow, this sounds like hard work. Too much work to bother. If only women were less flicky. Men normally look at a woman and if he likes what he sees and the woman is nice you´ve got a good date. All these techniques to supposedly raise interest level, IMHO is short lived. It´s like those people who pretend to be someone they´re not, in the end it doesn´t last.

 

[nismo-4]

Anytime a woman pulls some excuse like this, use the celebrity maxim. Would she be too busy for a date with Channing Tatum?

This will answer many questions, and typically the low interest becomes very evident. Why waste your time on a low interest woman? Well that is good if you enjoy being her friend (beta orbiter).

Too busy my ass. if that excuse comes up to me, and no alternate date is offered, she is kicked to the curb instantly, no questions asked.

Why the f**k do men keep putting up with female excuses? Why the f**k do men see a silver lining in messing with a girl who has low interest? I don't see the point. Though when I kick a woman to the curb because she tried to get me as a friend or won't put up with her excuses, she goes elsewhere and wants nothing to do with me.

Remember that when a woman flakes on you, you have failed. This ACTION showed her true interest in you, well, lack thereof. Don't you think that if she was interested in you, she would show up? Damn right she would!

 

[FairShake]

Seems like she's chosen being a doctor over finding a guy at this time.

The nerve of that b!tch.

I've dated smart career women almost exclusively. I have fvck all in common with anyone else. Some move mountains to get to me, some don't. All of them take time to game however. They aren't just going to drop their friends and goals for a three date dude. Why would they? I sure as hell wouldn't and wouldn't want to dedicate time to someone as needy as that.

If this girl is worth it wait it out. Talk to other girls. Busy yourself with friends and career. Stay in contact but not TOO in contact. Going ghost won't do anything. But neither will clinging on her. I think time spent out in the wilderness of dating will make things clear for you. I expect that you will find something else personally.

If your paths ever intersect then it will be awesome. A sexy doctor? What! But if not invite some other girls to take a walk with you.

She has a profile on dating website but is too busy to date?

To be fair a lot of the busiest people I know do online dating because they can't get out and meet people all that much. It doesn't tend to work out though. They usually meet people at work since they work all the time!