Women stuck on "dinner and a movie"

[tihash]

I have gone on about 8 or so first dates in the last 2 months. They were all from cold approaches, and when I eventually ask someone out, I usually say something along the lines of, "Hey, are you free X night?" Then, if the answer is yes, I suggest (depending on the girl) either Starbucks or a bar around 9pm. This is done deliberately to be past normal "dinner time."

I think women have no right to my money, especially if I barely know them. In a LTR I am generous, and I always pay for dates with any girl (if you don't in my experience you are dead in the water) but I'll be damned if I'm going to wine and dine every girl I meet.

Anyhow, my point is this: I have had 2 women, almost as a counteroffer to "a drink" or "coffee at Starbucks," suggest literally "dinner and a movie" as a FIRST DATE. I barely know them. Age doesn't seem to matter: one was 35, and one was 24.

If I invited them to my house for the first date for sex you know what they would say in objection to that: "I barely know you!"

But these same women have the balls to suggest I spend $50 to $75 on them for a FIRST DATE when it could turn out we have nothing in common, they are annoying, they are cruel to animals, they are anti-my religion, their politics disgust me, etc.

I think dinners and movies are fine once you are getting pu$$y from a woman, but not before.

How do you guys counteract this?

Or is this just an example of Paul Janka's warning that "Difficult women remain difficult"?

PS-- nothing feels better than banging a girl once you have only spent $20 or less on her. No one should have to "buy" sex whether with cash to a prostitute or dinners to some girl you are dating.

 

[jophil28]

IF you ask a woman 'out', it follows that you also get to initiate the time, place, location and style of the date. It is YOUR call.

IN over 30 years of dating I have NEVER allowed a woman to set the place and type of date unless she called me and initiated .
NO exceptions..

I would suggest that if you are encountering women who are attempting to superimpose their first date preferences on you, then you may not be leading strongly enough... or perhaps you just had a run on 'Date Nazis'.

BTW, Paul Janka is mostly right.. Difficult women remain difficult- it is just their way and she is not gonna change because of some DJ moves from you.. She was a practising certified baitch long before you were a DJ.

 

[Rescue Mission]

when you invite them to your place for the 1st "date", you need to make it look as much as possible that you are NOT inviting them for sex..........remember, you have to TRICK them into going into your place to either chill and have a few drinks, or chill and watch a movie, or just chill and get to know each other - the sex happens naturally, but you are NOT allowed to even MENTION sex on or before the 1st date.

 

[dj_china]

just play it off
dj: "bar xyz at 9pm"
hb: "lets do dinner and movie instead!"
dj: "wow you move really fast! girls dont get dinners with me until second date, let alone dinner AND a movie"

also, in my opinion, paying for a girl is fine -- I'm not stingy. BUT the problem with paying is it sets you up as the nice guy and gives the girl frame control. you can take this back by, for example, showing up to the specified date location late by 30 minutes and then say something like "normally I never buy girls anything unless they're my girlfriend but I feel bad for making you wait for so long so you get a free drink today. just once " and next time if they try to make you pay, refer them back to your policy. it'll be easier to roll it off that way

 

[kingsam]

also all the chumps around who are only too happy to pay for "dinners and movies" have set a precident... sad really

 

[backbreaker]

women wwho are dead set on doing X for a date, are looking someone to pay for a good time and not necessarily to meet you. I've taken woment to the horse track for a first date (more than once actually) and while they did not like horses, or racing, were as happy as a punk in the pen to go just to go on a date with ME.

YOU are the key, not wht you are doing. the chance to meet, get to know, enjoy YOUR company. What you do is of no consequence, and any woman that tries to set that frame with you, is not that interested in you. It's a built in buffer so to speak.

Not only that for isntance, i know if I am seeing a woman that "dispeis horse racing" that relationship is not going to work, so why waste y time?

I've gone to college football games, skating, golf, jazz bars, basket robins I even took a date to my sisters birthday party one year, it was at a go cart track. Basically whatever I feel like doing I just ask them to come along. I don't go out of my way to make a date. I took my fiancee swimming on our first date at the beach.

I will go to a movie, if there is something i want to see bad. I took a first date to go see i robot when it first came out, I really, really wanted to see that movie and I did. That relationship actually worked out, we stayed together for a year when it was all said and done.

 

[dark god]

A woman who TRULY enjoys ur company and REALLY wants to get to know u will be happy doing ANYTHING. A woman who pretty much "demands" dinner and a movie or whatever expensive date she has in mind, more or less shows u shes all about herself. My friend, thats just the tip of the Iceberg with her.

 

[tihash]

I totally agree that IL often plays a significant role (and agree that a girl who is totally into you will just do anything with you to be with you), but I think many times it is other factors. I think societal conditioning and the "princess mentality" and the fact that so many other guys lavish women with dinners is a large piece of the puzzle.

The 24 y/o who kept being stuck on "dinner and a movie" actually approached me at the gym. That happens very, very rarely to me, so I would think her IL is pretty high. Maybe not, but I would think so.

It's just a damn shame that some women are stuck on stupid.

 

[backbreaker]

I totally agree that IL often plays a significant role (and agree that a girl who is totally into you will just do anything with you to be with you), but I think many times it is other factors. I think societal conditioning and the "princess mentality" and the fact that so many other guys lavish women with dinners is a large piece of the puzzle.

The 24 y/o who kept being stuck on "dinner and a movie" actually approached me at the gym. That happens very, very rarely to me, so I would think her IL is pretty high. Maybe not, but I would think so.

It's just a damn shame that some women are stuck on stupid.

it really is a buffer on more than one stage.

think about it man

is that REALLY a woman you are interesting in? who is that damn programmed into mainstram that she can't think for herself to want to find out more about a man she is really interested in?

she thinks you are the goods, but figures that if you like her you will take her out to dinner and movie?

tell her to cut off tbs and wake up to reality.

Any woman that does not say "um..okay" or gives a very very legit excuse (some excuses are extremely legit and with practice you learn to tell when they are) are an autotoss. too many fish my man, too many fish

I took one girl tot he track, never been to her life, didn't know jack **** about horses and admitted she was so happy to go on a date she took her ass online and did as much research as possible as to not sound like a complete idiot (it didn't work lol but I apprciateed the effort and she quickly at the time moved up in my eyes). and got a mind blowing BJ the way home as well.

a womant hat is in to you, will show that she is into you, no ifs ands or butts.

 

[DoubleA]

I think women have no right to my money, especially if I barely know them. In a LTR I am generous, and I always pay for dates with any girl (if you don't in my experience you are dead in the water) but I'll be damned if I'm going to wine and dine every girl I meet.

Wow. Great to be back posting in this Forum!

These are very good guidelines to work with.

Think of how much work you put into earning your "Living" . It's like getting Stuck UP. Robbed by, a stranger you only met days and hours before. All the BS you went through to get paid (Back in 2004 I was a temporary working for some company. And living on my own. Paid Eighty-Five bucks too be totally dissappointed on a first date. She wasn't even trying to enjoy herself. Funny, looking back I would believe that was her angle. She knew boys & men were pressed to hit it. She ran game on so many dudes. Especially on-line.) I honestly, wasn't to happy with my gig at the time. I learned my lesson.

Everything negative that happens can't be totally dismissed. I'm not a cheapskate. I drink good booze. Pay bills on time. Live in a Washington, D.C. Suburb. When it comes to, LTR's..I'm doing my part. But only loyal to those women who convey character.. This theory or somewhat similar, I agree with sharing your prosperity. REMEMBER: If she needs ten bucks for parking, and you're in the car with her. Give it up. A cup of Coffee..share. First outing consisting of a "Dinner and A Movie"...equals a loss like The Celtics will have if they don't put a body on Pau Gasol.:nervous:

- AA

 

[3countriesPlan]

I won't even consider dinner and a movie.. its so boring sitting there spending money on them and talking to them about boring subjects with a freaking dinner table between you so as to minimize kinoing.. On top of that its pretty damn hard to fclose in the middle of a crowded restaurant.. sure u might get head in a theatre but not too many girls are into that in the beginning.

It's true, some girls just want a good time out. You are their meal ticket, you get them free food, some drinks, she gets to watch a free movie then she goes on an action date with a real PUA who does her in the azz in some alley behind a donut shop..

We've all macked h0s who come out with us and mention some "friend" or whatever who took them to dinner. The friend doesn't usually get to tap it, and if he does is it really worth $50-$70? We are supposed to be plate spinning.. that is alot of expensive plates..

 

[Bluntmaster]

This chic tried to use me for a free meal this weekend.

It was an internet meetup and I didn't say anything about dinner. She gets there after me and orders a drink then we switched to the booth. She didn't want to pay for her drink. She picked up her tab and brought it to me and is like "should I take this with me to the booth?"

Then they made her pay for it and I watched. Then she wanted to buy a meal, I told her I'm just getting an appetizer so she only got an appetizer but I could tell she expected me to buy her dinner too.

Then the bill came, I paid for her appetizer. She said "do you want to split it? I only have a debit card".

Lol, how lame. Then she agreed to go to the pool hall, but flaked on the way there.

I know she flaked because I didn't pay her way which would have been 50 bucks and then the pool hall.

Why do they think they are entitled to my money when I don't know them?

I'm sure she is used to chumps buying her dinner all the time. So she feels entitled.

 

[jophil28]

I'm sure she is used to chumps buying her dinner all the time. So she feels entitled.

This ^^.
Funny how all those "strong independent women" still expect to be fed by a new guy.
Fukking hypocrites .

 

[Bluntmaster]

This ^^.
Funny how all those "strong independent women" still expect to be fed by a new guy.
Fukking hypocrites .

She was a divorced career woman. She told me she cheated on her fiancee before they were married, but she said "almost cheated".

She told me she lives alone in a big house. I asked "did you leave your husband?" She said "yes, how do you think I got the house?"

My god. I am giving up on career women. I am going foreign exclusively, or going for non career women.

 

[jophil28]

She was a divorced career woman. She told me she cheated on her fiancee before they were married, but she said "almost cheated".

She told me she lives alone in a big house. I asked "did you leave your husband?" She said "yes, how do you think I got the house?"

My god. I am giving up on career women. I am going foreign exclusively, or going for non career women.

Yeah, "ALMOST cheated" ...ha ha . I heard that from a woman a few years ago -she turned out to be a compulsive serial cheater.
The phrase," I almost cheated " is a deliberate attempt by her to claim that she used self restraint in order to deny her slvtty ways... the truth of that event will most likely appall you.

Women and their beloved weasel words.

 

[backbreaker]

damn man 50 bucks for HER half? what the hell where you eating?

Take a chic to red lobster and get her ass the 2 for 9.99 menu and call it a freaking day.

when i DID take women out on dates, red lobster was my place of choice becuase it's half ass nice, and I pretty much know unless she's a cookie monster or something she's not going to run up that big a tab.

Generally I can walk out of Red Lobster and spend about 50-60 dollars with drinks included and a nice tip. that's not half bad. First date i can live with that

 

[Bluntmaster]

damn man 50 bucks for HER half? what the hell where you eating?

Take a chic to red lobster and get her ass the 2 for 9.99 menu and call it a freaking day.

when i DID take women out on dates, red lobster was my place of choice becuase it's half ass nice, and I pretty much know unless she's a cookie monster or something she's not going to run up that big a tab.

Generally I can walk out of Red Lobster and spend about 50-60 dollars with drinks included and a nice tip. that's not half bad. First date i can live with that

Well, the drink is 8 bucks. The meal and appetizer is at least 25. Then if I paid, she would have ordered more drinks.

I only paid for her appetizer. I can afford 10 bucks. I'll pay if I really like the girl but I wasn't sure with this one.

I'm not going to be a sucker and drop 50 and never hear from her again. If I never hear from her because I didn't pay, who cares?

In fact I will pay if I know the girl is so into me before the date. I won't pay for the one's I'm not sure about.

 

[backbreaker]

i was just curious where you were eating at.

yeah drinks can get high.

 

[jophil28]

In fact I will pay if I know the girl is so into me before the date. I won't pay for the one's I'm not sure about.

Smart move, BluntM...In a way you are rewarding her attraction to you and not wasting your $$ on a low IL woman..
UNfortunately, most guys will do the opposite and splash the cash in a pathetic attempt to 'entice' her after she has shown only little interest in going out with him.

 

[Zarky]

I always suggest we go out for drinks at the same place, a wine bar near where I live. The people who run the place know that I show up with a new girl every so often and they know not to make comments about that.

--> If the chick doesn't want to do what you want to do, then forget her, like, immediately. <--

For example I was chatting with a new girl just a few days ago, I set her up with some talk about the area, then I did my standard "Do you like wine?" 9 times out of 10 they'll say yes, 1 time out of 10 they'll say they like beer. Beer chicks I take to another place. She said Yes just like all the others.

Then I say, "Got any free time coming up?" She says she's off Thursday or Friday. I say let's do it Thursday (never a Fri/Sat first date). She says fine.

So then I say, "there's this neat little wine bar near me, it's a block from the ocean." Never has a woman had a problem with this, but this chick goes, "If you keep chatting with me tonight, then maybe I'll be interested in coming out your way." Well I wasn't going to sit there chatting with the chick all night, and I certainly wasn't going to take a "maybe," so I was like "Well I have stuff to do, sorry can't chat more tonight." She was like, "Ok" then I ejected and deleted her. Done.

Happens all the time, chicks trying to call the shots, best just to get rid of them asap because the way a relationship starts out will be the way it continues.