Women showing too much interest?

[Moonlounger]

Hey guys, is it possible for a women to show too much interest?
Is this a red flag for something deeper under the surface that a guy should be aware of?

What made me think of it:

I'm spinning 3 plates right now, and one is a woman I met through a work function - she works in a different city nearby. We go out for drinks last week and hit it off, ended up going to a few different bars and made out before I left.

She just got out of the Air Force and has been working as a civilian for less than a year. Dad passed away a while ago, I didn't ask further about it. Halfway through the night, I gave her a few quarters for her parking meter, and she buys me about $25 worth of drinks in return.

In the last few days, she has asked me if I wanted to go with her to 3 different conventions that are coming up, one in Las Vegas. Another in a local state that's in the same city her mom lives ("accidentally" introduce me to mom??). I set a up a casual bike ride date for this weekend yesterday, and she texts me today asking if I also want to go see a movie with her some time this week.

I'm getting a weird vibe from her, but can't quite place it (due to my lack of experience probably).
I've never gotten this much attention from a chick before, the other two plates are interested, but it's only been a few dates and they are way more reserved than this one has been on the first date.

I'm feeling like a dumbass for asking a woman out from work, even if she's in another city. It would be too easy to next her otherwise. What am I missing here?

 

[Outlaw_]

Hmmm...there is not enough information to consider her actions a red flag. She could just be feeling you & since you have other plates that take your attention away, she is the one giving the attention. If she makes you feel weird tho, you should let her go.

Some women, actually like to spoil men from day one. Give them attention & buy them things. I would avoid the meeting her mom thing though.

 

[Willard]

There is something wrong with her, I had the same kind of thing happen to me a while ago, she got too atached too quickly. My advise is to don't agree on the dates she tries to set up, just say you are busy and then you ask her out for dates you plan. Most likely she has screw loose and it won't work out in the long term, but you might be able to have some fun for a while and then get rid of her when you find out how crazy she is.

Good luck with this one, mine didn't work out in the long run, but I did have some fun.

 

[Kailex]

You need to slow her roll down. I know it sounds great that she wants to do all of this with you but it seems a little overbearing.

Remember, that everything you do now is going to set a precedent for the future. If you say "YES" to everything now, what's to stop you from saying "NO" in the future... and trust me, she will remind you of that.

If your gut is telling you something, trust it.

 

[dasein]

She smells the other options on you, as natural as can be when they do this because they aren't used to men with options. They are used to oneitis ninnies who start blowing up their phone the minute they get the number. No red flag yet. Just keep having fun at your pace and try to start sex soon. Good luck.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Don't fall for it dude the last thing you should do is drop your guard and return her attention in a similar way.

This is easy mode, stay unavailable and keep her thirsty!

 

[VladPatton]

I think all this is because you're attraction to her is not 100%. Would you complain if she was a supermodel? If she's not bad looking and you have high enough attraction, just keep things in check and make sure it goes at your pace, not hers. Or, just give her the boot if it's too much.

 

[Die Hard]

If you establish a strong frame and behave very DOMINANT, you can turn her into your sex slave who will kiss your feet and do anything to not lose you.

You either do that or break it off with her now. Don't even think about having a happy, equal relationship with her! She's gonna cause you a loooot of trouble if you give her ANY space, so either completely dominate her or let her go now.

 

[BMX]

She's just glad to be out of the military and into a new career and to be hanging out with a "normal" dude. I'm in, not getting out any soon.

 

[Moonlounger]

Thanks for the input guys. I turned down the first convention she invited me to, was legitimately busy that weekend, and she wanted to go see a movie last week after work, said thanks but declined due to having other plans.

Did go bike riding with her yesterday, lots of people watching this time of year near the beach. Man I love cheap dates. She invited me to her place afterwards for drinks and dinner. She lives in a beat down part of town, but was pretty much the perfect host while I was there.

Kind of strange, shooting sports came up in conversation and she took that opportunity to show me her 357 magnum she keeps loaded in the bedroom

She was all over me after dinner, and I didn't escalate further....
Screw it, this is a pretty anonymous forum, I broke it off due to a temporary medical condition of mine that's preventing performance down there, didn't tell her about it though. Now that I think of it, what would be a better way of handling something like that in the future? Don't date until things are back to normal? :kick:

She's just glad to be out of the military and into a new career and to be hanging out with a "normal" dude. I'm in, not getting out any soon.

Sounds about right, she mentioned she didn't click with any of the Air Force guys she dated.

I think all this is because you're attraction to her is not 100%. Would you complain if she was a supermodel? If she's not bad looking and you have high enough attraction, just keep things in check and make sure it goes at your pace, not hers. Or, just give her the boot if it's too much.

From the scales I've seen, her face is about a 6, but has a great body. I'm no looker myself, so she's pretty hot for what I can normally attract without good game.

 

[VladPatton]

Excellent...hang back at your own pace and set the tones for the dates the way you want. This a great frame to be in!

 

[Moonlounger]

Thought I’d update this thread as there have been new developments. I went on a few more dates with the now-civilian Air Force chick, never closing the deal

Went to lunch with her during the work week on a fairly regular basis, also went to the fair with her sister who was in town.

Had a comically bad dinner date due to poor planning on my part, bad location, too crowded, terrible parking and restaurant service. I dropped her off that night with no kissing or kino during the entire date.

In late July my parents hosted a BBQ get-together for friends and work colleagues, my dad suggested I invite her and foolishly I did – she knew other work people there, but it was obvious she was uncomfortable meeting my parents after 2.5 months – stupid idea. Thanked her for coming, but didn’t really go out of my way to talk to her for a week afterwards..

I’ll admit I was concerned I’d get some blowback at work, so I asked her if it would be cool if we stay friends and she agreed.

No contact outside of randomly seeing her at work and saying hello for about a month.

I grew a beard in September. She saw me at work, texted me about it, and to hang out. We go to a beer tasting event with her sister and I have too much to drink (it’s been almost 10 years since I’ve been drunk, didn’t watch myself carefully enough). She takes me to her place so I can rest in her bed for a few hours. I’m resting in her bed and she comes in the room and asks if I’m comfortable taking my clothes off so she can wash them since I got them dirty at the event. I thanked her, said it’s fine, and went back to sleep – had a major headache at the time. Got up later and drove home.

A few days later I gave her and her sister a thank you card and some wine for their hospitality, was pretty embarrassed about the whole day.

Last week she texts me and wants to have lunch, had lunch then and again today. She invited a bunch of people to go to Las Vegas to watch the Air Races this weekend, including me, and I asked her about it at lunch today. She says no one could make it, her sister is busy this weekend too. I asked what hotel she’s staying at and she tells me the hotel and that she’s got a room with a double bed, but wants to change it to a King bed. She wore a tight fitting and somewhat revealing dress today, which I thought was a little odd for work. She also mentioned her, her sister, and some work friends are going to Las Vegas next month to celebrate her sister’s birthday, and asks me to go.

My buddy works directly with her on a daily basis and tells me she’s putting in a lot of effort to meet guys. My friend also wants to hook me up with his wife’s cousin, whom I went on one date with 2 years ago before dropping her for another woman at the time, which didn’t work out. He says she’s still interested and asked about me. If I go for my friend’s wife’s cousin, that information will possibly be shared with the Air Force chick eventually – not sure the repercussions of that.


Honestly, I’m not sure how to proceed at this point. I’ve made some amateur mistakes and am probably misinterpreting a lot of this due to lack of experience.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Kind of strange, shooting sports came up in conversation and she took that opportunity to show me her 357 magnum she keeps loaded in the bedroom

I like guns as much any other normal, heterosexual, non-liberal male, but that is a little weird, especially combined with the other things you've mentioned about her.

 

[Cejay]

I think she sounds kind of cool.

From the way you tell it, she likes you, she's interested, she's looking for a BF (to some degree at least.) Women spin plates too you know.

Could this be one of those times where you're taking the plate spinning, gaming thing too seriously?

Maybe think about this.

What are your goals? Are you out to spin plates? Do you want a monogamous LTR? Do you like Air Force Civ-chick? Do you just want to bang her or ?

When I'm confused with whats in front of me, I think about my desired goal or end game and then adjust the plan accordingly.

I personally don't dip my pen in company ink. I've watched the disasters when friends have done it.

Best of luck.

CJ.

 

[Bokanovsky]

A woman, living alone...............having a means of self-defense? How is that weird?

Having a gun for self-defence is not weird. Showing a loaded gun to a guy you've just invited to your place for the first time is pretty fvcking odd if you ask me.

 

[jimmy18]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=150197&postcount=2

 

[SgtSplacker]

I always get women I know accustomed to a bit of sexual misconduct from me. If a girl asks me to take my clothes off so she can "wash" them she knows i'm flashing her my junk for sure.