Women reject high value guys for their ego?

[Pandora]

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/26fp0k/it_finally_clicked_i_finally_get_why_women_turn/

I was on Reddit TRP and came across a thread that i have been wanting to make for a while. Some of my friends have this theory that women sexually reject men that they find too valuable to risk losing. They state that there are 4 main advantages they have for not putting out for guy friends that they like:
1.) she gets a sense of power from sexually rejecting a guy that is obviously better than her in every aspect of life ( better personality, interesting, great career, cool etc). The more high value something is the better if feels to reject it. Its an ego boost.

2.) if she puts out he may bail and leave her. She cant risk him doing that. She essentially doesnt want to "ruin the great friendship"

3.) she gets way more out of his attention then she would out of his di*k. She can get sex from the expendable bad boy alpha. She doesnt care about hot guy attention becuz they are not interesting.

4.) girls often sex alpha guys as human dildos. They dont care about emotionally connecting with them becuz they are just hot and nothing else. Thats why they are ok with one night stands with these guys. But with the betas they have a personality so the girl does not want to risk it.

OR

This could all be sour grapes. I have not jumped on this theory fully because it smells like sour grapes. It smells like rationalizing why she is not attracted enough to fu*k you. The reddit thread guy beat me to it, but i have been meaning to post about this.

 

[nismo-4]

Alpha fux, beta bux.

If she's playing that game with you as the beta, kick her to the curb. It really is that simple.

Case dismissed.

 

[dasein]

Used to experience this constantly back in the day. She wants to "date" me because I'm a "prospect" so is coy, then gets drunk and gives it up to some guy she would never consider dating, makes me wait a month. Happened over and over and over. I was in a small community in those days, so everyone knew who was doing what with whom.

I used to think this was a useful screen, but it disqualified literally 80% of the women I knew for anything other than sex (at that time in my 20s I still wanted LTR with marriage eventually). So if one wants to stick to principle, have a harder time getting laid, be manipulated by women, and watch lowlife acquaintances easily f women who won't f you near as quick despite wanting to date, well that blows IMO.

Better to get a little dirty, show an aspect of yourself, even exaggerated, that may disqualify you as a LTR or at least dings your image. Claim to have a bunch of DUIs, some time in jail for jacking a car as a teen, smoke cigs, say you want to move to Nepal sometime in the next year, not considering marriage for at least ten years, claim to have a vasectomy at an early age, anything to tarnish you just the right amount. This is not quite the same as being a bad boy, but has some similarities. Once I started doing this, my results improved greatly. There is such a thing as being too good a prospect IME. Good luck.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

It's funny, back when I was in my confused blue pill phase, I wouldn't go after anything that reminded me of my former ex at the time. Blonde HB9. Even if I was getting stong IOI's. I'd tread very lightly, and try to just not go there. My self-confidence was at an all time low and I just didn't want to re-visit the hurt.

I'm all past that now. But I think it happens to men and women.

Women are the gatekeepers of sex. As soon as they give it up, they know they can lose the man.

 

[Insouciant]

IMO women need to feel that they will lose him regardless--doesn't matter if they DO or DON'T give him sex.

The man who's willing to walk away wins every time.

Checks and balances.

Women can deny sex.

Men can deny attention.

This. Alphas win every time. Because if you're an alpha who DOES have an interesting personality to boot, the girl will pursue a relationship with you.

I'd rather we do the deed early on and build upon that passion than making me wait for the woman while she's out banging some other dude on the side.

**** that noise.

 

[glass half full]

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/26fp0k/it_finally_clicked_i_finally_get_why_women_turn/

I was on Reddit TRP and came across a thread that i have been wanting to make for a while. Some of my friends have this theory that women sexually reject men that they find too valuable to risk losing. They state that there are 4 main advantages they have for not putting out for guy friends that they like:
1.) she gets a sense of power from sexually rejecting a guy that is obviously better than her in every aspect of life ( better personality, interesting, great career, cool etc). The more high value something is the better if feels to reject it. Its an ego boost.

2.) if she puts out he may bail and leave her. She cant risk him doing that. She essentially doesnt want to "ruin the great friendship"

3.) she gets way more out of his attention then she would out of his di*k. She can get sex from the expendable bad boy alpha. She doesnt care about hot guy attention becuz they are not interesting.

4.) girls often sex alpha guys as human dildos. They dont care about emotionally connecting with them becuz they are just hot and nothing else. Thats why they are ok with one night stands with these guys. But with the betas they have a personality so the girl does not want to risk it.

OR

This could all be sour grapes. I have not jumped on this theory fully because it smells like sour grapes. It smells like rationalizing why she is not attracted enough to fu*k you. The reddit thread guy beat me to it, but i have been meaning to post about this.

You make some very interesting points here Pandora. I have experienced much of all this myself, as have many of my friends. Women need to get a clue these days, they are a problem and not just causing the problem!
They need to put their power/pride aside and start living their lives in honesty. I think we are well beyond that now however.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Pandora,
There have been several threads here in the past with the boot on the other foot,where someone will ask whether it is worth chasing HP9's and up...I have always found such Women a real problem,as you can get attached to them,only to have them taken away from you...and so where Women adopt that attitude,I can hardly condemn in them what I forgive in myself...In general,big differences at any level be it:looks,money,social status,culture,age or race will turn the odds against a relationship lasting the distance!

 

[Pandora]

I want to add that the author of the reddit post makes a very interesting observation. He states.....

"For women, because sex isn't scarce, it isn't valuable. The act of sex itself for them holds much less importance because they can get it any time from any source. The act of rejection, for women, enhances their sense of value. To reject a guy makes them feel as though they are more valuable, more pretty, more desirable, of higher social ranking. How many women fantasize about being surrounded by guys who all want her, but she grins smugly and says "nope you can't have me"? This is the difference between the male and female fantasy. A man surrounded by doting girls wants to **** all of them - it is an opposite fantasy."

This theory could explain why very insecure women run away or reject good men. I have been blatantly rejected by women who were obviously below me in every metric. But they still wanted to be a central part of my life showing me interest, calling me all the time, wanting to hang out, admitting that i was attractive etc. When it came to sex it was a no go. But they would get jealous if i was talking to other women. Women want fans more than sex.

 

[Pandora]

"In most instances, a woman perceives that she will achieve more utility from rejecting a guy than from having sex with him. The pleasure of the sex act for them is all but absent from the equation - much more important is how much perceived social value they can extract from the transaction. If they think they can get a higher sense of value from rejection than from sex, this will be the outcome.

This is why women collect orbiters. I never understood it before - but it makes sense. And it explains a lot of things."

This is why the friendzone should be taken as a compliment almost ( there are different types of friendzones so not all are compliments). But often a women will parade a guy around as friend, always call him, basically love to show off that she has him as a follower. He is shiny,valuable, cool and makes her look desired. If she is getting his attention, this is like crack to her. But watch how jealous she gets when he starts to bond with one of her friends. This is why they will never hook u up with their friends. You are their toy and only their toy. Not all women do this but a lot do operate like this.

 

[Pandora]

Better to get a little dirty, show an aspect of yourself, even exaggerated, that may disqualify you as a LTR or at least dings your image. Claim to have a bunch of DUIs, some time in jail for jacking a car as a teen, smoke cigs, say you want to move to Nepal sometime in the next year, not considering marriage for at least ten years, claim to have a vasectomy at an early age, anything to tarnish you just the right amount. This is not quite the same as being a bad boy, but has some similarities. Once I started doing this, my results improved greatly. There is such a thing as being too good a prospect IME. Good luck.

lol i like this strategy man

 

[VikingKing]

IMO women need to feel that they will lose him regardless--doesn't matter if they DO or DON'T give him sex.

The man who's willing to walk away wins every time.

Checks and balances.

Women can deny sex.

Men can deny attention.

This is so true.

 

[nubivagant]

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/26fp0k/it_finally_clicked_i_finally_get_why_women_turn/

I was on Reddit TRP and came across a thread that i have been wanting to make for a while. Some of my friends have this theory that women sexually reject men that they find too valuable to risk losing. They state that there are 4 main advantages they have for not putting out for guy friends that they like:
1.) she gets a sense of power from sexually rejecting a guy that is obviously better than her in every aspect of life ( better personality, interesting, great career, cool etc). The more high value something is the better if feels to reject it. Its an ego boost.

2.) if she puts out he may bail and leave her. She cant risk him doing that. She essentially doesnt want to "ruin the great friendship"

3.) she gets way more out of his attention then she would out of his di*k. She can get sex from the expendable bad boy alpha. She doesnt care about hot guy attention becuz they are not interesting.

4.) girls often sex alpha guys as human dildos. They dont care about emotionally connecting with them becuz they are just hot and nothing else. Thats why they are ok with one night stands with these guys. But with the betas they have a personality so the girl does not want to risk it.

OR

This could all be sour grapes. I have not jumped on this theory fully because it smells like sour grapes. It smells like rationalizing why she is not attracted enough to fu*k you. The reddit thread guy beat me to it, but i have been meaning to post about this.

I don’t even know how I ended up here when I was googling privacy settings for a different site lol but the thread name is what popped up and it caught my eye.

As I read this I was trying to think objectively and really think about what drives my decisions. I was basically being nosy and decided I had nothing to lose in sharing some insight in case anyone is interested. Since I am currently going through a rough patch with one of my best friends whom I don’t want to be more than friends with, I thought I may be able to answer your questions.

He, like you guys really tells me with his actions that he doesn’t understand how we could get along so well and trust each other, etc. and us not being able to be together. I can’t address this to him since I don’t think his ego could handle it, but then again maybe you guys can also teach me something about a better way to handle it.

I love to learn from different people's perspectives so maybe since we can explain things in a way that is anonymous so it’s not like any of us have anything to prove or anyone’s feelings to hurt, we can all learn something.

Now, I can promise objective and real well thought out answers but I only speak for myself so even though not all women think like I do, many do. Maybe I can also try to give insight into the ones who don’t think like I do since I’ve changed my views a lot through out my life. Starting with being raised strictly Catholic with a strong focus on what people thought about you (it explains more than would believe) to being a free loving agnostic humanist with very liberal perspectives (also explains a lot of the same things, in a completely different way).

So--Ok, I really had to think about this, and:
1) This one made me laugh, it made me think of the goal cliche douche bag who thinks he is god’s gift but is in fact the opposite. Think Gaston in the Beauty and the Beast type.

2) This seems like two reasons, I personally have never met a girl who would hold out from sex just to make sure the guy doesn’t leave, but if a guy has lead her to believe there was love there only to leave after they fkd then I do believe it is totally possible for a her to feel like she can control the next situation. Obviously this isn’t the way to go about that but most people aren’t the best at not becoming jaded. The second is the ruin the friendship part, this I have felt before—but here is the part of my answer you guys really want to know, truth is the only times I have put a guy in “friend zone” it was the same reason guys put girls in friend zone. There is absolutely no physical attraction.

3) Also sounds like an extension of number one.

4) It’s really interesting that you guys put so much focus on alphas and betas, alphas and betas are absolutely not a popular thing when girls think about guys. I’m sure there are women that break it down like that, but I assure you it’s not a norm.

That being said, I do remember maybe twice in my 30 years of life that I’ve made a comment about a guy being a beta or alpha. It was something along the lines of “ugh that guy was such an alpha type” meaning, he was hyper masculine with no tact, or sense, in other words a brute. Now I’m not saying that is the official definition of an alpha, that’s just what comes to mind when one is described, at least to me and everyone I’ve had a conversation about this with.

So, for the most past, besides specific examples I would say for the most part when someone is put in the “friend zone” it means the girl just can’t see herself getting intimate with you. Oh, and this doesn’t mean you are ugly by the way, sometimes people just aren’t your type. In my case I am not physically attracted to him—like at all. I’ve tried to think about a world where I would be attracted to him but I’m just not. And trust me, it sucks for me too because we all want to find someone who we can have that mental AND physical connection with.

What’s ironic is that (many…I’d go as far as to say most women) have the same exact conversations wondering why we got put in the “fk zone”. It is basically the same problem for the exact opposite reason. It sucks when you really like a guy and would love to be more than just fk buddies and can’t ever get out of the “fk zone”.

Women also rationalize why men do it, but in the end it’s the same reason…the person just isn’t attracted to the idea of having you be in their life in the same way that you want. That stings just as much as the “friend zone” for totally different reasons.

Anyway, so here are my two sense. I’m happy to answer questions or hear opinions as long as we remain civll and respectful, as long as we got that I think this could be a very interesting experiment


*These are only my views, and don't speak for all women. Women, men and everything in between all come in many varieties, mental as well as physical.

 

[Pandora]

So, for the most past, besides specific examples I would say for the most part when someone is put in the “friend zone” it means the girl just can’t see herself getting intimate with you. Oh, and this doesn’t mean you are ugly by the way, sometimes people just aren’t your type. In my case I am not physically attracted to him—like at all. I’ve tried to think about a world where I would be attracted to him but I’m just not. And trust me, it sucks for me too because we all want to find someone who we can have that mental AND physical connection with.

Here is where it gets complicated. Many times you have gotten intimate with the girl before. Mostly make out and stuff like that but they never progress past that. If you read the original reddit post the guy is referring to girls not wanting to get physical again but wanting to parade you around. Its not always a lack of physical attraction. In many cases the girl has told you that you were physically attractive and initially pursued you because of it. So this is what leads to believe that many times its a power play. Again most normal girls dont do this. But many do.

 

[nubivagant]

Here is where it gets complicated. Many times you have gotten intimate with the girl before. Mostly make out and stuff like that but they never progress past that. If you read the original reddit post the guy is referring to girls not wanting to get physical again but wanting to parade you around. Its not always a lack of physical attraction. In many cases the girl has told you that you were physically attractive and initially pursued you because of it. So this is what leads to believe that many times its a power play. Again most normal girls dont do this. But many do.

Oops I guess I missed that part. Yeah, that sounds like she is just playing games then, which in reality has a lot more to do with her than the guy. In my opinion people who play games are insecure--both men and women, and in some cases it very much maybe a power play but beware the people who function like that have way deeper issues than are easily perceived, so I'd take off running if you think that's the case. I've been in a relationship with someone manipulative and it was...a lot like living in hell.

That being said, it is possible to be ok with kissing someone and not wanting to sleep with them. I actually once was dating a guy and things were going great but when we got in the bedroom he totally turned me off, I couldn't get past heavy petting because he turned me off so bad. BUT that was once, after that I ended it, I definitely wouldn't keep him wondering what happened but then again I'm not everyone so some people have a lot harder time being straight forward. I just hate the thought of wasting my time with needless drama on the wrong person and risk not noticing the right person because of it.

I mean it is really hard to say for sure what's up with her because many times it could be totally unrelated to the guy and she could be going through her own thing, I had a friend a couple of years back that was terrified of having sex because she was so insecure she couldn't let herself feel comfortable enough to do it. Again, not saying this is the case here but I'm sure the guys she was making out with and in a way, leading on, would have never guessed that was the issue since she was a really good beautiful girl.

I think bottom line is why waste your time with a girl who can't make up her mind when there are tons others? I can tell you, honestly--the more a guy insists the less attractive it is. All that persistent stuff is a nice story to play on tv and movies but if a girl wants to sleep with you, it will be very obvious EVEN if she is wanting to wait. She will tell you verbally and you'll also be able to feel it in her disposition even if she is too shy to say it.

If she does in fact like you and is playing games, the games will very quickly end the moment you show you aren't into being her backup plan and you can even confront her if she asks what happened that you have become distant. It's sad and pathetic but a lot of people need to lose a person before they realize they actually want them. Also, hate to sound cliche but communication really is key, it won't always get you laid but at least it will save you some time so you can go get laid somewhere else.

 

[The_411]

Here is where it gets complicated. Many times you have gotten intimate with the girl before. Mostly make out and stuff like that but they never progress past that. If you read the original reddit post the guy is referring to girls not wanting to get physical again but wanting to parade you around. Its not always a lack of physical attraction. In many cases the girl has told you that you were physically attractive and initially pursued you because of it. So this is what leads to believe that many times its a power play. Again most normal girls dont do this. But many do.

NAWALT .... Psshaw