Women complaining

[Heritic_101]

I have been lurking her for a year, and this site has been a real eyeopener. I have a long way to go, but what I have noticed more of lately is women complaining more about how I behave. A coworker the other day started whining how I said one thing and then did something else. So I told her to stop complaining, and I added that I felt sorry for any man that would end up marrying her. She liked that comment.

A female I dated for a while, didn't like the way I treated her friends. Her friend and some guy showed up during a lunch date, by "chance". This friend of hers was a real chatterbox, so I ended things early saying I had other things to do. I never apologised, when I later talked to her.

An other female was really unhappy with me refusing to have female friends. She also wanted to bring her friend to a date, because she had a boyfriend. I refused.

Is this what usually happen when you start becomming more of a dj? It seems that with this new knowledge, I becomming less and less patient dealing with womens bs. I also get a lot more **** testing than before. Is **** testing some sort of powerstruggle? Some women tell me with absolute certainty that they are not interested, then later accept going on dates.

 

[SoylentGreen]

I definitely am not a DJ yet, but I totally know what you mean.

The moment I started taking the advice on this site, my life changed. People that expected me to be complacent and passive started getting mad at me when I'd say a simple word like "no". Hot girls who's butts I used to kiss, started being different when I stopped putting them on a pedestal, so to speak. I also stopped hanging out with my female friends (except one) and I actually told them I wouldn't be hanging anymore and why. They didn't like this. I told them I'm not their girlfriend and I don't want to go shopping with them and I don't want to hear about your boyfriends. None of my female friends even had the same hobbies as me. They were only my friends cause I wasn't escalating towards sex, so I was like a "safe guy" to hang out with.

So many people in my life are having problems with my newfound attitude. I admit its a bit shocking. I have even had to stop hanging with certain people. I feel better though. I no longer take bs from anyone, I don't jump through womens hoops anymore, I live my life by my terms now. In fact, I am making so many positive changes that I am considering leaving town and starting fresh where I can be the "new and best version of myself" without everyone asking why I'm changing so dramatically.

Most people that knew me find me to be way out of character now and most of them are happy with my positive changes, and all the new people I meet are really liking me as well. A couple of my old friends are finally coming to terms with my new attitude and the ones that aren't cool with it, are "gone" - I no longer contact them.

How could anyone blame someone for not taking crap from people, for standing up for what they believe in or for being/becoming the best versions of themselves? I think the people bothered most are those who are afraid to make any changes themselves....

Just keep progressing Heritic...you might have to lose some current friends/females but you'll hopefully get some better ones in return...

 

[Tazman]

It's a beautiful thing isn't it?

I actually left a job about 8 months ago because I felt I had been disrespected enough. I just up and left, no notice.

Guess who wants me to come back? I never thought it would happen, but I'm actually being asked to come back.

People in general, not just women, will respect you as much as you respect yourself. I confront people face to face, but there's still some strategy involved because you have to be smart about it and not cause yourself more harm than it's worth.

One of my sisters I believe is bi-polar, she can be very obnoxious at times. The only time I really got through to her was by screaming at the top of my lungs for her to shut up. She had gotten me so pissed I was ready to hit her, but I of course didn't. The fact that she didn't try to retaliate or escalate things was a bit of a shock, I expected her to.

We're all human, sometimes you just have to remind yourself of that.

 

[Heritic_101]

I think people have noticed some changes. I don't think I ever was a complete afc. Never been an orbiter or ass kisser. The reason I came here was a bad case of oneitis for a married women. She really liked me, but I never made a move since it felt wrong. Still those emotions was really hard to deal with. I think she is going to regret staying with her husband, but I have moved on and no longer looking back.

I have become much better at saying no, not only to women but people in general. When someone request my help, I always ask myself would this person do the same for me. Still it is disappointing to know how many people will use you if you are helpfull and nice.

I think the most important lesson I have learned so far is being able to walk away. I don't waste time trying to convince women to like me, if they are not showing interest(through action not just words) I walk.
What I need to work more on is approaching, and closing sooner.

 

[jophil28]

It is inevitable that some folk will not like the 'new you'. After all, the old one was a comfortable convenience for them and now, that convenience has been removed.
Some of the changes that you make for YOUR benefit will be condemned by others. Expect to be told that you are "selfish" or "differerent" or just "not the same guy".
These comments are statements by people who are either confused by your changes, or downright pissed that you are no longer available to be who they wanted you to be.
It is mostly true that the more self propelled you become the fewer people will like it.
Being 'selfish' is fine provided you do so in ways that do not violate your moral code or break any laws...just do not expect any applause from the stands.

 

[Interceptor]

If you understand the difference between being arrogantly selfish and self centered, and simply looking out for your best self interest , then this change is good.
If you can assert your boundaries, without having to be aggressive , thats also good.
if you can voice your opinion about something without being an ass hole, thats very good.

I firmly believe that operating from a positive, non intenionally hurting others mind set is the KEY to truly being FREE, respected naturally, and admired for genuine self mastery.
You are truly free to BE yourself, not a mask or persona trying to get a reaction out of people.
A lot of people who grew up being 'unpopular' sometimes get a little loopy with a false 'power' and go off the deep end. I dont think thats what any of us REALLY wants at the end of the day.
There are NEEDS, real needs, and their are WANTS.
Sometimes we confuse the two. And thats when we get into very real dangerous territory. Like scary dangerous.



Maintaining self respect and asserting boundaries are nothing new.
But I can see how 'eye opening' it can be to those who didnt do that previously.
Unfortunately, sometimes some people may go the opposite end and just end up being d*cks, and begin retaliation towards other people. They often do so because of all the built up resentment for choosing to be a door mat for most of their lives, and now they want to get back at people for past hurts.
Thats not being assertive, that's just being a resentful ass hole.
Its all about retribution for being hurt. Lets just call it what it is.

Another thing that is extremely critical to consider is that the only females that will respond favorably to poor behavior are women with very low self esteem and self respect, and with very little healthy, correct LTR experience and expertise. Be very very careful with this. I know a lot of us will love that ego high we may havent experienced before, since we may have NEVER experienced any favorable reactions from women previously. But this is not something we truly want to experience.

IOW, if you get all insulting and inflammatory to a woman, and she responds favorably, THAT IS NOT A GOOD SIGN. Run, dont walk, away from her.
I dont care what you've read on these boards or from whomever.
That is a sign of immaturity and unhealthy standards, and low self esteem.

Why would she respond that way?
Because she's probably used to wussy AFC men, and is NOT FAMILIAR with healthy masculinity.
So if you respond like an arrogant ass hole, she may MISTAKE it for a Masculine trait like confidence and self assuredness.
She is in fact...CONFUSED, and will mistake you being an ass hole with being masculine. Females who dont know much about men, except negative experiences, are impressed by SUPERFICIAL demonstrations of masculinity.
That is the Truth.

WHY?
because the poor female has NEVER had a positive , healthy Masculine Male role model , thats why.
Be warned.
My two...
Good luck.

 

[Heritic_101]

I firmly believe that operating from a positive, non intenionally hurting others mind set is the KEY to truly being FREE, respected naturally, and admired for genuine self mastery.

I agree. I do not get any pleasure from hurting others. Still some womens sense of entitlement is quite breathtaking, and knocking them of the pedestal can be quite satisfying.

 

[jophil28]

I agree. I do not get any pleasure from hurting others. Still some womens sense of entitlement is quite breathtaking, and knocking them of the pedestal can be quite satisfying.

Do that only when the situation really calls for it. Do not go on a personal crusade to kick every pedestal out from under every uppity woman.
Your energy is best expended for personal growth and advancement.

 

[Interceptor]

Do that only when the situation really calls for it. Do not go on a personal crusade to kick every pedestal out from under every uppity woman.
Your energy is best expended for personal growth and advancement.

Damn, brotha! Well said!
:yes: