In a July 5, 2001 post, "The Relationship Begins Before You Meet Her" I stated that Looks, Money and Power, or Front, as Mr. Silk calls it, attracts women. Confidence, Control, and Challenge, also called Clout, keeps women after a man has attracted them.
A disturbing number of guys, IDJ in particular, disagreed with this line of thinking. Overall, they felt that a man's looks, money and power shouldn't matter, that DJ principles should allow for women to look past a man's homely looks and empty wallet and see them for the wonderful guys they are…Yeah, right.
To actually expect women to do something as unrealistic as that would make us all to be blatant hypocrites. I'll let the female DJs do the honors of explaining why.
Anyway, back to the subject. I read an article today from a music marketing web site that I thought we need to apply to our DJ mindset.
http://www.bob-baker.com/buzz/lazy.html
The article states (paraphrasing):
It is an undeniable fact of life that most people are lazy and greedy. When opportunities arise, people naturally take the easy road and think primarily of themselves. This is a trait inherent in all people, regardless of age, race or gender.
I agree with that statement completely. However, I also believe that having a tendency for laziness and greed doesn't necessarily make someone a bad person. Instead, it makes them human. Problems arise only when an individual allows for laziness, selfishness and greed to control all facets of their existence, hence becoming jerks, players, drama queens, schemers, users, gold diggers, professional daters, AND Nice Guys.
"How will knowing this help me get laid or get an LTR?", you ask. Well lets put it this way.
Women are good people. They have good traits and bad traits, strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. They are individuals. They are, in essence, just like us. Just as selfish, just as lazy, just as greedy. Only about different things.
Women are:
Selfish: They instinctively place their need for physical protection, social status and emotional fulfillment ahead of our need for sex.
Lazy: Because most young women have a multiple number of men chasing them, they instinctively label men as "Worthy" or "Unworthy", usually within 30 seconds of the first impression. They don't even bother to get to know an "unworthy" man's personality because they feel it's a waste of time that could be spent on more "worthy" men.
Greedy: Because of the shortage of balanced men in our society, some women will instinctively use a Sugar Daddy to pay her bills, a Jerk Stud to get her insides moist, and an AFC to share her feelings with…simultaneously. They want it all, fellas. And they're greedy enough to get it by any means necessary.
Don't become discouraged by this, fellow DJs. Yes, women are just as responsible for their actions as we are, however remember that we as males have our own faults and shortcomings. Therefore we should not be so hypocritical as to brand all women as "shallow" or "evil". Again, women are good people, just like us. Be mindful that when a female is acting in the aforementioned ways, she's only succumbing to the natural tendencies inherent in all human beings.
So how can we can use a woman's natural instincts to our advantage? You guess it. By acquiring LOOKS, MONEY, AND POWER!
By improving your physical appearance, financial and social status, you will do 3 important things:
1) Cater to her selfish nature. You will satisfy her primal desire for a healthy and physically dominant protector with high social status. At this time, she doesn't know anything about you as a person. Neither does she care. Only after you have catered to her primal instincts will she be the least curious about you as a person.
2) Cater to her lazy nature. Because you were deemed "Worthy" during the first impression, she'll give you buying signals. She'll take time out to talk to you, ask you questions, maintain conversation. Since you passed her physical, only now can you use your DJ skills on her.
3) Cater to her greedy nature. Through physical fitness, you show sexual potential (stud). Through your clean, neat appearance, you show personal management skills and financial aptitude (sugar daddy). Yet still, you're a good listener (nice guy), but you don't allow for her to disrespect you by treating you like a friend (self-respect). Your DJ skills show you to be a good Confident, Challenging man who is in Control of his own life. To her, you seem to be "everything she wants in a man." She wants it all. And she thinks she might get it all in one package…you.
Now either we can moan forever about how "…girls are sooooo cruel! They only think about themselves! Boo hoo hoo!
" or… we can accept the reality of human nature and learn to adapt to it to get what we want from women, and out of life in general.
Bottom Line: Women are not the evil conniving wenches we sometimes make them out to be,… well,… most anyway
. Most women are good people with bad habits, just like us. Its important that we as men be more understanding of a woman's nature and accept reality of her primal desires, so that we can adapt accordingly and take control of the dating game, and not let the game control us.
[This message has been edited by Survivor (edited 12-11-2001).]
A disturbing number of guys, IDJ in particular, disagreed with this line of thinking. Overall, they felt that a man's looks, money and power shouldn't matter, that DJ principles should allow for women to look past a man's homely looks and empty wallet and see them for the wonderful guys they are…Yeah, right.
To actually expect women to do something as unrealistic as that would make us all to be blatant hypocrites. I'll let the female DJs do the honors of explaining why.
Anyway, back to the subject. I read an article today from a music marketing web site that I thought we need to apply to our DJ mindset.
http://www.bob-baker.com/buzz/lazy.html
The article states (paraphrasing):
It is an undeniable fact of life that most people are lazy and greedy. When opportunities arise, people naturally take the easy road and think primarily of themselves. This is a trait inherent in all people, regardless of age, race or gender.
I agree with that statement completely. However, I also believe that having a tendency for laziness and greed doesn't necessarily make someone a bad person. Instead, it makes them human. Problems arise only when an individual allows for laziness, selfishness and greed to control all facets of their existence, hence becoming jerks, players, drama queens, schemers, users, gold diggers, professional daters, AND Nice Guys.
"How will knowing this help me get laid or get an LTR?", you ask. Well lets put it this way.
Women are good people. They have good traits and bad traits, strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. They are individuals. They are, in essence, just like us. Just as selfish, just as lazy, just as greedy. Only about different things.
Women are:
Selfish: They instinctively place their need for physical protection, social status and emotional fulfillment ahead of our need for sex.
Lazy: Because most young women have a multiple number of men chasing them, they instinctively label men as "Worthy" or "Unworthy", usually within 30 seconds of the first impression. They don't even bother to get to know an "unworthy" man's personality because they feel it's a waste of time that could be spent on more "worthy" men.
Greedy: Because of the shortage of balanced men in our society, some women will instinctively use a Sugar Daddy to pay her bills, a Jerk Stud to get her insides moist, and an AFC to share her feelings with…simultaneously. They want it all, fellas. And they're greedy enough to get it by any means necessary.
Don't become discouraged by this, fellow DJs. Yes, women are just as responsible for their actions as we are, however remember that we as males have our own faults and shortcomings. Therefore we should not be so hypocritical as to brand all women as "shallow" or "evil". Again, women are good people, just like us. Be mindful that when a female is acting in the aforementioned ways, she's only succumbing to the natural tendencies inherent in all human beings.
So how can we can use a woman's natural instincts to our advantage? You guess it. By acquiring LOOKS, MONEY, AND POWER!
By improving your physical appearance, financial and social status, you will do 3 important things:
1) Cater to her selfish nature. You will satisfy her primal desire for a healthy and physically dominant protector with high social status. At this time, she doesn't know anything about you as a person. Neither does she care. Only after you have catered to her primal instincts will she be the least curious about you as a person.
2) Cater to her lazy nature. Because you were deemed "Worthy" during the first impression, she'll give you buying signals. She'll take time out to talk to you, ask you questions, maintain conversation. Since you passed her physical, only now can you use your DJ skills on her.
3) Cater to her greedy nature. Through physical fitness, you show sexual potential (stud). Through your clean, neat appearance, you show personal management skills and financial aptitude (sugar daddy). Yet still, you're a good listener (nice guy), but you don't allow for her to disrespect you by treating you like a friend (self-respect). Your DJ skills show you to be a good Confident, Challenging man who is in Control of his own life. To her, you seem to be "everything she wants in a man." She wants it all. And she thinks she might get it all in one package…you.
Now either we can moan forever about how "…girls are sooooo cruel! They only think about themselves! Boo hoo hoo!
Bottom Line: Women are not the evil conniving wenches we sometimes make them out to be,… well,… most anyway
[This message has been edited by Survivor (edited 12-11-2001).]
