So I just had my first relationship.
It was pretty fun.
I really feel that there were genuine feelings between the two of us, but sadly she just has too many issues.
She told me last thursday she wanted to end it because when she told me a really sad story from her childhood I basically laughed in her face. I wasn't laughing at the story though, there was just a misunderstanding, cuz I was putting on my shoes and didn't concentrate and listen to her. So when I asked her "huh?", she gave me a funny look, basically a look of amazement that I didn't listen properly to her incredibly sensitive story, and that's when I burst out laughing.
She told me to just go, at that point, since that's what I was gonna do anyway, as I was putting on my shoes. So I went. Within 5 minutes I received a barrage of texts explaining how she thought we don't suit each other and she wanted me to put the house keys in her mail box, and she would drop off my ****.
Anyways, I was quite distraught. I started doubting everything I did. Did I not treat her carefully enough? Was I too incongruent? Etc.
So I spent the next 12 hours straight drinking, with multiple friends throughout the day, at first texting her back to see if I could fix things.
Ended up at the bar where I used to work/casually help out. I really was looking forward to some distraction, and I was glad the boss asked me to help out again.
I was so fvcked up from all of it though, I actually dropped a whole stack of beer glasses on the bar, there was glass everywhere. The boss didn't really mind though. I knew he wouldn't, as he was probably just glad to see that I was back in the bar helping out.
But my mojo is just kind of fvcked up from all of it.
My confidence is a little choppy.
There's 2 barmaids there at the bar, which I was really glad to see last thursday. I went back again on friday, and I was still so fvcked up I could barely really even function working at the bar. Just feeling generally weak, not as quick as usual, because of the whole mental and emotional battering that I got from my now "ex-girlfriend".
I gave her back the keys, by the way, and she gave me my stuff. As soon as the exchange was over, she called and asked why I didn't even bother to come upstairs. She just doesn't know what she wants. I told her we can talk about it another time. She seemed angry, and tried to call me back twice, I didn't respond. I texted her at the end of the night "We can talk about it in a few days. Sleep well". To which she responded "I don't need any favors".
The girl has pretty deeprunning issues. Daddy wasn't there. Mom was abusive. That enabled her to be incredibly sensitive and quite loving at times. Although it also made her too insecure.
Yeah, so it was a great adventure.
Now my mojo is just slightly off, I have to get back into the hang of helping out the bar, being a bit more energised, synergised, etc, and just allowing myself to be myself.
Also I've been hanging out with my comedian friend too much as well. He's too much of an entertainer, and it's rubbing off on me. My game is more based on sexual attraction, so I can't get mixed up and be a jester, lol.
Another reason my mojo is off, is because of the 2 barmaids. I sort of rejected one, who invited me to her place. I told her it wouldn't work. The last barmaid I started banging lost her job almost immediately - she's the one I just broke up with, lol. So I'm not really in the mood for repeating that just quite yet. She seemed to be a bit insulted when the old man asked me "what's wrong? Is her ***** too big?", I just heavily shook my head "No. Won't work. Won't work. Nope."
So the blonde saw me shaking my head like that, which insulted her. I also saw the boss looking at me like "What are you doing?!!!?", in his incredibly low-key way, from across the bar. I am slightly confused what the deal is. Am I supposed to bang the barmaids? Am I supposed to lead them on? Or can I just not gossip about banging barmaids with the old man at the bar? Whatever the deal is. It's a ****-test from the girl, because she's fvcking insecure. I'll just be the alpha guy who helps out at the bar, and simply flirt but not fvck.
So I'm going to the gym now. Fvck everything for now. I'm gonna go hit the punching bag.
It was pretty fun.
I really feel that there were genuine feelings between the two of us, but sadly she just has too many issues.
She told me last thursday she wanted to end it because when she told me a really sad story from her childhood I basically laughed in her face. I wasn't laughing at the story though, there was just a misunderstanding, cuz I was putting on my shoes and didn't concentrate and listen to her. So when I asked her "huh?", she gave me a funny look, basically a look of amazement that I didn't listen properly to her incredibly sensitive story, and that's when I burst out laughing.
She told me to just go, at that point, since that's what I was gonna do anyway, as I was putting on my shoes. So I went. Within 5 minutes I received a barrage of texts explaining how she thought we don't suit each other and she wanted me to put the house keys in her mail box, and she would drop off my ****.
Anyways, I was quite distraught. I started doubting everything I did. Did I not treat her carefully enough? Was I too incongruent? Etc.
So I spent the next 12 hours straight drinking, with multiple friends throughout the day, at first texting her back to see if I could fix things.
Ended up at the bar where I used to work/casually help out. I really was looking forward to some distraction, and I was glad the boss asked me to help out again.
I was so fvcked up from all of it though, I actually dropped a whole stack of beer glasses on the bar, there was glass everywhere. The boss didn't really mind though. I knew he wouldn't, as he was probably just glad to see that I was back in the bar helping out.
But my mojo is just kind of fvcked up from all of it.
My confidence is a little choppy.
There's 2 barmaids there at the bar, which I was really glad to see last thursday. I went back again on friday, and I was still so fvcked up I could barely really even function working at the bar. Just feeling generally weak, not as quick as usual, because of the whole mental and emotional battering that I got from my now "ex-girlfriend".
I gave her back the keys, by the way, and she gave me my stuff. As soon as the exchange was over, she called and asked why I didn't even bother to come upstairs. She just doesn't know what she wants. I told her we can talk about it another time. She seemed angry, and tried to call me back twice, I didn't respond. I texted her at the end of the night "We can talk about it in a few days. Sleep well". To which she responded "I don't need any favors".
The girl has pretty deeprunning issues. Daddy wasn't there. Mom was abusive. That enabled her to be incredibly sensitive and quite loving at times. Although it also made her too insecure.
Yeah, so it was a great adventure.
Now my mojo is just slightly off, I have to get back into the hang of helping out the bar, being a bit more energised, synergised, etc, and just allowing myself to be myself.
Also I've been hanging out with my comedian friend too much as well. He's too much of an entertainer, and it's rubbing off on me. My game is more based on sexual attraction, so I can't get mixed up and be a jester, lol.
Another reason my mojo is off, is because of the 2 barmaids. I sort of rejected one, who invited me to her place. I told her it wouldn't work. The last barmaid I started banging lost her job almost immediately - she's the one I just broke up with, lol. So I'm not really in the mood for repeating that just quite yet. She seemed to be a bit insulted when the old man asked me "what's wrong? Is her ***** too big?", I just heavily shook my head "No. Won't work. Won't work. Nope."
So the blonde saw me shaking my head like that, which insulted her. I also saw the boss looking at me like "What are you doing?!!!?", in his incredibly low-key way, from across the bar. I am slightly confused what the deal is. Am I supposed to bang the barmaids? Am I supposed to lead them on? Or can I just not gossip about banging barmaids with the old man at the bar? Whatever the deal is. It's a ****-test from the girl, because she's fvcking insecure. I'll just be the alpha guy who helps out at the bar, and simply flirt but not fvck.
So I'm going to the gym now. Fvck everything for now. I'm gonna go hit the punching bag.
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