Women and their Libido...

[azanon]

From my experience, women seem to enjoy sex as much as men while it's actually happening. If one were to go by their face and the sounds, it could be easy to believe they like it more. My wife almost always seems quite pleased and content afterwards.

Where men and women differ quite drastically though, is that they lack the pressing urge (per testosterone) to want it before it happens. Most of the time, my wife just doesn't think about sex unless I bring the idea up.

 

[STR8UP]

Never had much of a problem with my LTR's and sex.....even the live-in's.

I will say this though. The one that I was MOST sexually attracted to and had by far the most sex with was the one who I was with for the longest. Incidentally, we weren't live-in's, and since she lived about 30 minutes away it was usually the case that she would comes and stay the weekends, we have a sex marathon, then she would go home the rest of the week.

That was the PERFECT arrangement for keeping BOTH of our sex drives high. I think a lot of the issues arise out of complacency, familiarity, etc.

Damn she fukked good....

From my experience, women seem to enjoy sex as much as men while it's actually happening. If one were to go by their face and the sounds, it could be easy to believe they like it more. My wife almost always seems quite pleased and content afterwards.

Where men and women differ quite drastically though, is that they lack the pressing urge (per testosterone) to want it before it happens. Most of the time, my wife just doesn't think about sex unless I bring the idea up.

Good observation.

This might put it into proper perspective. Men WANT sex more then women do, but women ENJOY sex as much if not more than men.

This would also corroborate some of the PUA material. I firmly believe that although not all women cheat, given the right circumstances they all have the potential to cheat.

So what you have is most men always want it, and most women (sometimes) have the potential to want it, but when they truly DO want it, they enjoy it as much or more than we do. How much more sesitive is the cl!t than the head of the d!ck? How many times can a man cvm vs. a woman? It all makes sense.

 

[Colossus]

Always an interesting topic Scaramouche.

I think much of this is hormonal. Multifactorial, for sure, but the hormonal component is overlooked.

I agree with the older gents, Ballie and Jophil, that the best way of ensuring healthy sexual frequency is, #1- choosing the right woman for you, and #2- maintaining freshness and just the right amount of competition anxiety.

Much of sexual drive and frequency really comes down not only dynamics between the two people but to the individual woman as well. I remember my LTR in college initiated sex no more than 2 or 3 times during our ENTIRE relationship!!! This is over a stretch of 2.5 years, on and off, during great times and miserable times. She usually didnt say no, but I knew that 3 out of 5 times we had sex she could have just as happily went to sleep or gone without. Some of the more simple-minded chaps here might say it's because I wasnt 'alpha' enough or didnt do this or that...but that caveman assessment doesnt even deserve a retort.

I contrast that with my current gf who initiates sex more than me, and I can tell you for certain that there are massive differences in sexual drives from woman to woman.

Some of it is hormonal (test, estro, progest), some of it is her own mental and emotional configuration towards sex (based off past events, upbringing , etc), and some of it is her level of desire for you specifically.

Keeping a healthy amount of competition anxiety doesnt have to entail you seeing other chicks on the side; it can be as simple as making tounge-in-cheek jokes about your "Tuesday girl" or telling her about some beauty the other night who was really coming on to you. As long as she knows you are desired by other women, she will happily please you sexually so you remain hers. That's why, I think, staying great shape is so important.

Also I think freshness is very important, which is another reason why you should not live with a girlfriend. Marriage is another issue, and I cant really comment form personal experience on that; just the anecdotes of my mates who all corroborate that the sexual frequency and intensity declines to varying degrees.

 

[lookyoung]

A man's desire for sex is stronger than a woman's becuase of testesterone. There is no denying that. That is why men approach woman, rape woman, fight one another, grow body hair... etc........

But a good woman will not turn you down for sex unless she is sick, menstrating etc.... If she turns you down for sex she will feel guilty about it and in her nature she knows its wrong. If you look at the bible and the koran it even says I believe that it is a sin for a woman to turn down there husbands for sex.

The key to having plenty of sex whenever you want it is being the man that you are. Embrace your masculinity. Look at the old tv shows such as Archie bunker and sanford and son. I bet those characters didn't have a problem getting laid. If you look at these feminist idiots from friends those are the type of guys that will have those problems.

This only applies to sexually healthy woman if your wife or live-in has been raped (I know this first hand) than this girl is broken and no matter what you do the sex will never be at a high frequency. The key to getting sex whenever you want it is choosing the right woman that lusts after you and didn't decide to move in with you because her biological clock was ticking.

I am not going to give any more real life examples it will cause a flame war and I gave enough real life examples to fill up the mature man forum for 6 months.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Collossus,
Yes everything you observe is as I have generally found things,normally I am happy if I find a Lady who will perform on request,even though she only orgasms on a minority of encounters,as familiarity drifts towards contempt there is the ever present danger that you become increasingly rationed to the less frequent times when they are in the mood...You seem to have struck a rare gem in your current relationship,it is a long long time since I have met a Lady who initiates the action more than I do.....This begs the Question Collossus,do you ever feel threatened by this?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Plaything,
Your response,the first,was very interesting indeed,on this site there are a disproportionally small number of guys with low libidos,but I think your problem is far higher than many will acknowledge...You did not receive any responses,pity!,surely there is someone out there with a few ideas....An anecdote that only an old bloke can provide...about 30 years ago I became involved in a business arrangement with an architect whose Office was situated above a very successful Hairdressing Salon....The architect had a Partner,A good looking Viet-Nam veteran,coincidentally I started building a house extension next door to the Hairdressing business owners own home...sure enough every Wednesday like clockwork about 2PM P.....the Architects partner would rock up at her place for a little Fandango....As the years went by I became and still am a close friend of P......I regularly meet this odd couple for drinks,parties...gradually the whole Story emerged,P....was in a Sexless not loveless marriage with a religious Girl whose Priest told her it was her duty to hang in there.Madame coiffurier was married to a lovely bloke whose sex drive was sublimated in the reconditioning of Classic cars,he had his back yard covered in lean toos under which he kept close to a score of lovely old cars,he had a drop head '33 Mercedes similar to the one Hitler rode in for which he rejected 250 grand,he would stroke this car with a cloth as if it were Marlene Dietrich's legs....Madame was providing the money for his real love affairs with such Limmos,he in return turned a blind eye to her activities,in some strange way both of the asexual partners came to accept this odd situation,which continues to this day.

 

[Mr. Me]

I think what's not mentioned as a factor in that sex therapist's notes is the dynamics of the married couples' relationships outside of the bedroom. If hubby becomes a couch potato and gains a gut, emits noxious fumes after dinner nightly and/or mistreats wifey via disrespect, abuse or negligence, she's simply not going to want to sex him and will feign being asleep instead. Foreplay, it's advised, starts Monday morning until Saturday night, so to speak. The wife who gleefully bounces onto your lap isn't wanting you because she's got a high sex drive so much as she's got a high sex drive because she wants you.

 

[Cinamon]

CINAMON, put an age on your profile or I'll have to delete your posts in the Mature Man's forum. Please read the forum rules.

its 30, and i havent quite figured out how to put my age and location up

 

[Colossus]

Dear Collossus,
Yes everything you observe is as I have generally found things,normally I am happy if I find a Lady who will perform on request,even though she only orgasms on a minority of encounters,as familiarity drifts towards contempt there is the ever present danger that you become increasingly rationed to the less frequent times when they are in the mood...You seem to have struck a rare gem in your current relationship,it is a long long time since I have met a Lady who initiates the action more than I do.....This begs the Question Collossus,do you ever feel threatened by this?

I wouldnt say threatened, but I just wonder how long it is going to last. It's almost like the laws of nature are being bent here and they have to give back to the Male libido>Female libido eventually.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Madame coiffurier was married to a lovely bloke whose sex drive was sublimated in the reconditioning of Classic cars,he had his back yard covered in lean toos under which he kept close to a score of lovely old cars,he had a drop head '33 Mercedes similar to the one Hitler rode in for which he rejected 250 grand,he would stroke this car with a cloth as if it were Marlene Dietrich's legs....Madame was providing the money for his real love affairs with such Limmos,he in return turned a blind eye to her activities,in some strange way both of the asexual partners came to accept this odd situation,which continues to this day.

This is interesting, and probably material for another thread entirely, but it got me thinking back to a principle Freud built a lot of his theories around - All energy is sexual. In essence sexual energy needs to be expressed in one form or another. With such easy access to porn in todays technology this is usually the first resort for men, masturbation being the most immediate release. However, when trapped in a sexless (or sex starved) monogamy that shames him for this buffer, that energy must go somewhere. Sometimes it's hobbies, passions and obsessions. In fact, if harnessed efficiently this can drive a man to acts of greatness.

Now consider that, historically, the vast majority of scientific, artistic, cultural, philosophical, technological advances in the history of humanity have been by and large conceived and executed by Men, it would stand to reason that it's Men's biologically more pronounced, sexual impulse (and it's frustration) that prompts his achievements.

One of the reasons I consider excessive use of pornography and masturbation a Buffer is directly due to this energy transference. It kills your drive to achieve. I forget where I saw the article linked on SS, but I recall reading about how Men statistically made their most significant life achievements PRIOR to marriage. Before the era of convenient eroticism, it was within marriage that the easiest access to sexual release was found.

 

[ketostix]

Good observation.

This might put it into proper perspective. Men WANT sex more then women do, but women ENJOY sex as much if not more than men.

I think azanon made a good observation as well . It's almost signature quote worthy.

This would also corroborate some of the PUA material. I firmly believe that although not all women cheat, given the right circumstances they all have the potential to cheat.

I think anyone has the potential to do anything. It seems like Men have more potential to cheat if you go by the desire or inclination to. But women have much more opportunity to cheat. So maybe it balance the two potentials out. But I still don't think opportunity is a better excuse than desire, so if anything I thing it's less acceptable for women to cheat. Besides they can only really make use of one d!ck at a time, whereas a man can impregnate theoretically an almost unlimited number of women.

So what you have is most men always want it, and most women (sometimes) have the potential to want it, but when they truly DO want it, they enjoy it as much or more than we do. How much more sesitive is the cl!t than the head of the d!ck? How many times can a man cvm vs. a woman? It all makes sense.

I totally agree. Also women aren't driven as much for variet as men are.

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

If your a man in every sense of the word than woman will **** you 3 times a day every day for 50 years if you wish.

Woman love sex just as much as we do. Its the feminist homosexual agenda that make us men think different. If a woman is not having sex when you want to have sex either she sees you as a weak man or she is a bad woman. Good woman see it as there duty to please there husbands and boyfriends.

Bullseye.

Women act on emotions. Married or not, it's all about maintaining the frame.

Once you've lost the frame (i.e respect), you've lost the attraction.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Rollo,
What I like about you is your lateral thinking and despite a head full of academia,you are happy to consider new concepts.....Yeah your take on poor old Bob the Horny Hairdressers husband is rather interesting...Have any of you guys seen Clint Eastwoods latest film "Gran Torismo"?here you have another example of an Old macho Veteran sublimating his sexual drive with his love for an old car and Guns!!Mussolini said "Guns before Butter" Clint says guns before Pvussy...I like guns too and there is something very sensuous about them...An old mate from Army days has a lovely old Whitworth carbine,on one occasion,I surprised him sitting in his back yard nursing this rifle like it was a woman.....Another interesting aside on poor old Bob,before I realised he knew what was going on I went to his wifes Birthday party,about thirty people,then out of the blue while I am talking to Bob and his wife P.....Turns up and starts joining in the conversation,I must have shown my embarrassment because a few minutes later Bob caught me on my own and just said "handle it T....I am".

 

[countermart]

Thanks again for the advice jophil28, after working out that the only thing close to us that mated for life was the gibbon and almost everything else has feathers or scales, I took myself off to the DVD store and said, “Give me your best Clint Eastwood movie to teach me about marriage.”

As you advised, I then got a few beers and turned on the DVD, ready to have my faith in marriage restored. Full of expectation and excitement I watched as that nice Mr Eastwood drove across those “Bridges of Madison County”.....

If you guys want to get married (again) then it looks to me like you need to be chatting up more Black Vultures, Penguins, or.....******s...no pun intended. In other words you are working on the wrong species.

Countermart

 

[countermart]

Oooops apparently you can’t say that word on this site.

Let me rephrase... chat up more animals that make dams out of sticks, and cut down trees with their teeth.

Countermart

 

[davewe]

For some reason this issue reminds me of a story. I have a friend who defined himself as having a high libido. I tried to tell him that all men do, but that's another story. Well into middle age his wife had and still has a smoking hot, former gymnasts, body. She made no bones about the fact that she was not nearly as interested in sex as he, and they had, over a period of time, negotiated a 3-times a week routine. I was on the downside of my marriage and 3 times a week sounded pretty good to me but for him that was just a subsistance level.

A year after my friend told me about their arrangement I saw him looking haggard and like an old houndog. The wife, he explained, had cut him down to twice a week. The sadness he expressed; you'd think his kid had died. He described the nightly ritual of watching his wife undress, showing her prefect body, and his knowing he wouldn't have it for another couple of nights. The guy was a mess.

It's now 5 years later. I'm divorced and they are still married. Perhaps his own libido decreased.

But the point is, no matter what some of the young guys on this forum think, if you believe that marriage is the solution to your sexual needs, you have a rude awakening.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

How frustrating would it be to have a Lamborghini in your driveway and know you could only drive it twice a week?

 

[5string]

How frustrating would it be to have a Lamborghini in your driveway and know you could only drive it twice a week?

If you have the keys, you should be able to drive it whenever you wish. If it doesnt run so great anymore, sell it and get a car that runs better and is more responsive.

 

[squirrels]

How frustrating would it be to have a Lamborghini in your driveway and know you could only drive it twice a week?

Honestly...if you owned that Lambo for a long time, unless you were REALLY a sports-car buff, you would grow tired of driving that car after a while. For the first couple of months, you'd drive it EVERYWHERE. But after a while, you probably WOULD only drive it twice a week. Then even LESS as time went on...it'd just start to sit in the garage.

I don't get some of you guys...you act like sex should be the FOUNDATION of marriage, as if how often you get "nookie" determines the success or failure of the marriage. That's a pretty selfish way of looking at marriage, if you ask me. Rollo's right-on with what he said earlier...you keep the affection going as well as you can, but after a while, marriage becomes about raising the kids, not about you getting your d!ck wet.

If it's constant sex you want, DON'T get married. Marriage for sex is a sucker's bet. People's libidos change...it's a fact of life. You can get around this by marrying a girl who's a "freak" (as opposed to one who doesn't see sex as important but does it because you like it...you can tell the difference) or marrying a woman who is into "open relationships", but sex-drive goes up and down. If you found your marriage around your humping schedule, you are a retard, plain and simple.

I never understood why sex is SO important to guys. I mean, yeah, every guy wants to f*ck. But the way guys hinge their life-satisfaction on it...it makes me want to puke. You give women a huge lever with which to manipulate you, from DAY ONE, and you wonder why so many women are classless enough to USE it.

If sex is THAT important to you, DON'T get married. Or marry a freak or a swinger. Don't get married to a normal girl, knowing FULL WELL that sex isn't as important to her as to you, and then get ticked off at her when she's not wanting it as much as you.

What has happened to this forum? More people here seem to want to walk into losing situations and whine about it than seek out winning situations. If it's lots of sex you're after, WHY would you commit to a woman you KNOW isn't into it as much as you and then b!tch about it? Stay single! Play the field!!

BTW...how is once a WEEK "bad"? If I'm having sex with my wife once a week when I'm married, I'd be COMPLETELY satisfied. What is it with you guys that you need it so damned often, to the point where it lowers your overall marital satisfaction if you don't get it??

 

[Todd Preston]

Funny stuff...

Where do i begin (oh hell i don't have that much time).

The article was pointing out the fact that many married women...aren't interested "AT ALL" in Sex (Big Red Flag should go up). In fact, (if you read the article) it states that some of these women feel GUILTY for denying sex from their husbands (yes women use sex as a weapon).

Now...if you think that a Healthy male (i don't know...maybe you're not healthy) is not gonna want to get laid 3-7 times a week...you are DELUSIONAL.

IF you only want sex 1 time a week, and you are only 30...you need to get your test level checked because its TANKING !

AND believe it or not...most guys marry a women because they are sexually attracted to them (most dudes don't marry for money).

If you married for companionship, you could have gotten that with a Nice Dog.

Honestly...if you owned that Lambo for a long time, unless you were REALLY a sports-car buff, you would grow tired of driving that car after a while. For the first couple of months, you'd drive it EVERYWHERE. But after a while, you probably WOULD only drive it twice a week. Then even LESS as time went on...it'd just start to sit in the garage.

...

BTW...how is once a WEEK "bad"? If I'm having sex with my wife once a week when I'm married, I'd be COMPLETELY satisfied. What is it with you guys that you need it so damned often, to the point where it lowers your overall marital satisfaction if you don't get it??