This is something I've been thinking last couple of days, I'm basically thinking out loud, writing this for me, but I believe some guys could also benefit from it, because I know here are guys who are also angry at women, so here we go.
In one of his posts (don't remember the title, but it's in Hall Of Fame), Pook talked about evolution of a Nice Guy. the steps are something like:
- Nice Guy
- Bitter Guy
- Neat Guy
- Decent Guy
- Good Guy
I'm at a Bitter Guy stage. In a way, I'm glad, because I'm not at the lower level any more, but otherwise this stage is really pain in the a$$, because I have some hatred towards women.
At this stage, you no longer blame yourself if things don't go the way you want them (as you do at Nice Guy stage, because then she's an angel to you who can do no wrong), but the problem is, you blame women. For example, last weekend I suggested to a girl to hang out sometime, she started playing games and gave me some BS, so I became visibly angry and said "Yeah, right" and walked away.
Obviously, you don't get any results this way. You're just angrier and angrier and that gets you nowhere. Which means we could use a new perspective.
The thing is, it's not just b!tches and psycho-chicks who play games. It's not about sifting through them to find the good ones. Because I say that in the beginning, when you just met, ALL attractive women play games, even the ones who are not actually messed up in their head. I'm sure there are guys who have everything so together that women see them like complete prize and don't risk him walking away, so they don't play any games, but most of us are far from being in that place (and we want some fun in the meantime!). So, if you want attractive woman who doesn't play any games whatsoever, you'll have to first improve yourself a lot in all aspects or search for a looong time.
Because it's not a character flaw. Some posts on this site which adressed that issue claim it's their nature. I believe it's both their nature and learned behaviour, direct product of social programming. I believe they're brainwashed by what their moms told them, by articles in girly magazines and society in general.
Think about it - what's the number one rule these articles emphasize? It's something along these lines - "don't show him you like him too much" and "let him work for you a little bit." I think almost all girls don't even think about it very much. They don't think about psychological principles behind this advice (that we appreciate things more when we have to actually put some effort in them). As soon as a guy shows interest, they go into hard to get mode because... "Well, that's how this thing works, right? Now I resist his advances for a while (even though I like him), so he won't think I'm easy, right?" I think it's almost automatic for them. She's not doing it out of cruelty, not to emotionally torment you, not to make you frustrated - she's merely following a dating ritual she has in her mind.
How unbelievebly stupid that ritual is doesn't matter right now - like I said, she never really thought about it.
I believe the next thing they follow, which is more on intuitive level than learned, is that they actually apply number one rule of DJism. So, let's see if you did your homework - what's the number one rule of DJism? It's protecting your heart (for those who didn't know that - and you know who you are - back to the drawing board!). She intuitively knows, if she gets emotionally attached to a wrong guy, she's in trouble. So she cautious. She's holding back. Not out of cruelty, not to emotionally torment you, not to make you frustrated - she's merely protecting her heart, so she won't suffer.
Like it was said before - women naturally do things we have to learn on sites like this. So we can't really blame them, if we do the same things, can we?
Third thing is indecision. Girls are notorious about low ability to decide. They don't know if they should choose you. We're talking about attractive girls here. There are other guys after them, she'll choose the one who she finds the best. So she's testing to see who's the best. Results can be wrong, because she didn't think about methodology enough and many times she chooses jerk instead of good (not nice!) guy, but that's her problem. She's not doing it out of cruelty, not to emotionally torment you, not to make you frustrated - she just wants the best guy available.
Out of this three reasons for playing games, this is most nasty, because vanity is behind it, but vanity, like laziness, is in all of us, so we can't really blame them. If there were five girls after you, you would also do the same.
There are probably other reasons for playing games, but I think these should be enough to realize that they don't do it to hurt us. We should accept them, embrace them, and next time when she's giving you some BS, just give her a knowing smile and do your thing like nothing happened.
In one of his posts (don't remember the title, but it's in Hall Of Fame), Pook talked about evolution of a Nice Guy. the steps are something like:
- Nice Guy
- Bitter Guy
- Neat Guy
- Decent Guy
- Good Guy
I'm at a Bitter Guy stage. In a way, I'm glad, because I'm not at the lower level any more, but otherwise this stage is really pain in the a$$, because I have some hatred towards women.
At this stage, you no longer blame yourself if things don't go the way you want them (as you do at Nice Guy stage, because then she's an angel to you who can do no wrong), but the problem is, you blame women. For example, last weekend I suggested to a girl to hang out sometime, she started playing games and gave me some BS, so I became visibly angry and said "Yeah, right" and walked away.
Obviously, you don't get any results this way. You're just angrier and angrier and that gets you nowhere. Which means we could use a new perspective.
The thing is, it's not just b!tches and psycho-chicks who play games. It's not about sifting through them to find the good ones. Because I say that in the beginning, when you just met, ALL attractive women play games, even the ones who are not actually messed up in their head. I'm sure there are guys who have everything so together that women see them like complete prize and don't risk him walking away, so they don't play any games, but most of us are far from being in that place (and we want some fun in the meantime!). So, if you want attractive woman who doesn't play any games whatsoever, you'll have to first improve yourself a lot in all aspects or search for a looong time.
Because it's not a character flaw. Some posts on this site which adressed that issue claim it's their nature. I believe it's both their nature and learned behaviour, direct product of social programming. I believe they're brainwashed by what their moms told them, by articles in girly magazines and society in general.
Think about it - what's the number one rule these articles emphasize? It's something along these lines - "don't show him you like him too much" and "let him work for you a little bit." I think almost all girls don't even think about it very much. They don't think about psychological principles behind this advice (that we appreciate things more when we have to actually put some effort in them). As soon as a guy shows interest, they go into hard to get mode because... "Well, that's how this thing works, right? Now I resist his advances for a while (even though I like him), so he won't think I'm easy, right?" I think it's almost automatic for them. She's not doing it out of cruelty, not to emotionally torment you, not to make you frustrated - she's merely following a dating ritual she has in her mind.
How unbelievebly stupid that ritual is doesn't matter right now - like I said, she never really thought about it.
I believe the next thing they follow, which is more on intuitive level than learned, is that they actually apply number one rule of DJism. So, let's see if you did your homework - what's the number one rule of DJism? It's protecting your heart (for those who didn't know that - and you know who you are - back to the drawing board!). She intuitively knows, if she gets emotionally attached to a wrong guy, she's in trouble. So she cautious. She's holding back. Not out of cruelty, not to emotionally torment you, not to make you frustrated - she's merely protecting her heart, so she won't suffer.
Like it was said before - women naturally do things we have to learn on sites like this. So we can't really blame them, if we do the same things, can we?
Third thing is indecision. Girls are notorious about low ability to decide. They don't know if they should choose you. We're talking about attractive girls here. There are other guys after them, she'll choose the one who she finds the best. So she's testing to see who's the best. Results can be wrong, because she didn't think about methodology enough and many times she chooses jerk instead of good (not nice!) guy, but that's her problem. She's not doing it out of cruelty, not to emotionally torment you, not to make you frustrated - she just wants the best guy available.
Out of this three reasons for playing games, this is most nasty, because vanity is behind it, but vanity, like laziness, is in all of us, so we can't really blame them. If there were five girls after you, you would also do the same.
There are probably other reasons for playing games, but I think these should be enough to realize that they don't do it to hurt us. We should accept them, embrace them, and next time when she's giving you some BS, just give her a knowing smile and do your thing like nothing happened.
