"To quote Paul and Young Ron.."The only men who wear moustaches nowadays are firemen and gay men" lol"
So basically only hose-handlers can have a moustache? ROFL...I thought I was the only one who had noticed that! To wear a moustache, you must fit one of three categories:
1) Roughly 45+ years old, came of age back when mustaches were cool
2) Be a real manly man, firefighter or redneck or whatever.
3) Queer as a football bat. The previous two are distinguished by being bushy throwbacks to the 70's; the gay man's 'stache is very thin and well groomed. The thin 'stache is the gay man's equivalent of the lesbian mullet. So if you're straight, let it grow out into a real soup-strainer, otherwise you've just got a shock absorber for a high-speed c*cksucker.