Women and cheating

[CollegeLife]

So I just reading a few blogs this morning and stumbled on a few links and read a few comments from Roissy of his most recent post. It is leading me to think about how common is cheating. I hold no pedestalizing them as angels, but holy sh!t. The even scarier part is it seems none of the providing boyfriends have a clue.

It is not just the uneasy possibility of not just one's own girl, but the thought of the number of friends in ltrs that their girl acting the same as read online, just no one notice. My friends range from A-type personality or nerdy quiet type, but are any of them exempt or strong possibility of not happening? The idea of thinking your best friend's girlfriend or your co-worker's girlfriend as well as one's own - and then all of them going to starbucks to talk about it? How can anyone really know? I like to thinking that there has to be some signs, just many go into denial, but it sounds like they leave no sign at all. They just hide so well that the only way to know is because some anonymous people are overhearing as they talk amongst themselves and posting it online.

On Roissy's blog, he makes the claim that they are just as bad as us, a fair assertion as many think of them as angels. We have our dark sides, but I'm pretty sure we see ourselves and each other as good but with weaknesses, so viewing that on women make sense. However, if it's that rampant, then they are worse than us, all the guys I know, are loyal, we're aren't openly sharing stories like that in a starbucks and our different natures of how we cheat does not compensates that reality.

Are we all getting duped and have no idea? If we are avoiding it, how? If not, is there any escape (dating girls from other cultures, nerdier types, ones that seems reasonable at least)?

I don't like idea, obvious statement, but how am I suppose to view any girl, whatever it is my girl or any girl I have contact with, or my best friend's, one of the guys, a co-worker's or any of them? Or the guys themselves, at they thought that the girl they are with, maybe dishonest with them and doesn't matter if he's the captain of the varsity crew team or the MIT nerd guy with his nerdy, but still cute girlfriend...

link to one particular blog that made me think of this(though others are in the comments at Roissy's blog):
http://dissention.wordpress.com/2010/03/04/things-i-learned-at-starbucks-1/

 

[5string]

I had a few serious relationships. At least I thought so. Every one of them cheated on me and I know this as fact (accept for my wife). I nexted every single one of them for disrespecting me. Most all came crawling back which of course did no good. Even had one guy tell me he was getting it on with my fiance in college. He told me as he was ticked off because she was sleeping with a friend of his! I didnt see the need to kick his arse. He nexted her as well. At least he had the nuts to tell me no matter his motive. So IMO, most women cheat. As far as I'm concerned, it's a fact. They are worse than guys, and better at covering it up.

 

[sharkbeat]

From what I can observe, a girl starts cheating once she has lost the attraction to the guy she's with. Even though they haven't officially broken up, if she no longer has any feeling toward the guy (or "love" in chick's speak), she feels entitled to be with another guy. Yes, that means you can still be officially together, live together, but once you enter that no-sex zone, be aware.

To some women, her feelings matter more than the guy she is with. Once she lost that feeling with you, she's going to look somewhere else, with or without a ring on her finger. I guess official status holds little to no value to women.

 

[The Greek]

Leading a lifestyle of polygamy (open relationships) may be a good idea if this blog post is congruent with your world view. I don't agree with all of this but I am considering polygamy myself, in fact it'd be entirely possible to be completely upfront with it to new women in your life. Hm.

 

[Lexington]

Girls cheat just as much as guys. But the difference is, guys know that they're wrong when they cheat. Chicks will find some way to rationalize it. Because they are driven by emotion to a much larger extent that guys. So if they feel like doing something, they'll find a way to justify it.....logic be damned!

I have female colleague. Anyway, once I was out to dinner with her and a few other people. She was going on and on about how a lot of the girls we knew were sluts. She was bashing them for cheating.

Literally TWO DAYS later, she cheated on her boyfriend with this guy at a party. Her boyfriend was out of town for a few weeks and he'd been gone for just over a week and here she was cheating on him.

And the really funny thing was, she asked me for a ride back....with the guy she was cheating with. Anyway, I was absolutely stunned by her blatant hypocrisy. But she acted like nothing was going on. For the whole car ride, she acted the same way she always does.

She banged this guy for week or so until her boyfriend came back. And then a few weeks later, she was once again bashing other girls for cheating. I almost spat my drink out! This girl seriously had no remorse WHATSOEVER.

 

[CollegeLife]

Great stories what about what we should do?

Some types of girls and relationships are obvious and can be seen a mile away, but reading those comments, it sounds like it is not just slvtty party girls or b!tchy girls with some pining, wimpy boyfriend. Nor less intuitive stuff like the one proclaim their virtue the most is the biggest violator (Lexington's story), but from what I just read even the most unassuming and innocent girl is engaged in the activity, doesn't matter she American, foreign, nerdy, or any other quality people try to use to characterize a girl.

Game gives us the best hope by making them stay interested in us, but that just sound like a full time job keeping an adversary down, nor does it fix the idea that alot of people I know, I may not know them as well as I thought I do.

 

[5string]

Great stories what about what we should do?

Some types of girls and relationships are obvious and can be seen a mile away, but reading those comments, it sounds like it is not just slvtty party girls or b!tchy girls with some pining, wimpy boyfriend. Nor less intuitive stuff like the one proclaim their virtue the most is the biggest violator (Lexington's story), but from what I just read even the most unassuming and innocent girl is engaged in the activity, doesn't matter she American, foreign, nerdy, or any other quality people try to use to characterize a girl.

Game gives us the best hope by making them stay interested in us, but that just sound like a full time job keeping an adversary down, nor does it fix the idea that alot of people I know, I may not know them as well as I thought I do.

Guess you give them the benefit of the doubt until they prove you wrong eh? Just be aware that any one of them can, and might do it at any time. If you catch em, next em. Don't ever give one a second chance after she has direspected you. My wife and I have an understanding. If she decides that is what she is going to do, if it ever came to that, just tell me and then leave. I won't throw a fit. I promised to do the same. Easier said than done in reality though to be honest. Lexingtons story did make the hair on my neck stand up a bit though, even after what I have been through in life.

 

[DonGorgon]

One man's ho... is another man's housewife..

Take that to the bank and save it with you money..

 

[starplayer]

The more and more I think about it, it seems that there's two roles that us guys can choose to fall into:

1. The provider boyfriend who gets cheated on (The sucker)

2. The guy she's sleeping with behind her boyfriends back (The secret lover)

Neither are ideal, but which would you rather be? The choice is very easy.



I'm not saying there's no middle ground, but it's much rarer. Unless you can keep a dominant upper hand in the relationship, she will go looking for other guys. I know for me it's easy to keep the upper hand at the start, but over time I begin to slip and turn into a bit of a wuss.

I went to school with a natural. I remember him one day giving advice to another friend of mine on what to do with a girl. "Just fvck her man. Seriously, just fvck her". This is a guy who has no morals about all this stuff (cheats on his girlfriend, sleeps with other guys girlfriends, etc.) but... he gets laid a hell of a lot.

 

[DonGorgon]

The more and more I think about it, it seems that there's two roles that us guys can choose to fall into:

1. The provider boyfriend who gets cheated on (The sucker)

2. The guy she's sleeping with behind her boyfriends back (The secret lover)

Neither are ideal, but which would you rather be? The choice is very easy.



I'm not saying there's no middle ground, but it's much rarer. Unless you can keep a dominant upper hand in the relationship, she will go looking for other guys. I know for me it's easy to keep the upper hand at the start, but over time I begin to slip and turn into a bit of a wuss.

I went to school with a natural. I remember him one day giving advice to another friend of mine on what to do with a girl. "Just fvck her man. Seriously, just fvck her". This is a guy who has no morals about all this stuff (cheats on his girlfriend, sleeps with other guys girlfriends, etc.) but... he gets laid a hell of a lot.

You are starting to understand the reality is this situation but its important to understand that its not about what you do or dont do.. human females will cheat no matter how good or bad you treat them.. Our focus as men need s to be:

How cheaply can i F
How often can can I F
and how long can i keep her Fing me.
Avoid relationships
Avoid pregnancy

 

[jonwon]

I'm going to make this simple:

Women cheat, get over it!

 

[starplayer]

You are starting to understand the reality is this situation but its important to understand that its not about what you do or dont do.. human females will cheat no matter how good or bad you treat them..

True, but you hear about women in relationships with real alphas (in fact usually in these relationships it's the guys who cheat) and she's completely obsessed and head over heels in love with him, to the point she can't even think about other guys.

I've even heard of situations where women fall in love with their fvck buddy and decide on their own not to sleep with other guys even though they can.

Some women will always cheat though. Slvts will cheat even if they're in love with their alpha boyfriend, that's just the way they are.

 

[CollegeLife]

@jonwon - It's not that simple, there's ways to view it (like assuming some cheat or all cheat or who to avoid) and that leads to ways to get over it. Like DG's advice.

@above advice - A part of me can nod in agreement to the above advice, but the greater part just feel loathing level of depression for myself and every friend I know who have a girlfriend. Do you just view everyone you know as all chumps? I'm not numb enough to assume "all human females will cheat no matter what anyone do" without disdain for all guys in the likelihood they're chumps and all girls carrying facade for fooling everyone I know and depression for myself. Rejecting the idea doesn't work either, cannot kill the thought, it would just make me depressed living in a pretty lie.

I can accept women cheat as I can accept that humanity is not perfect. It is only a simple projection of oneself or someone (or in this case, believed) to know well. I'm pretty awesome, but I'm not perfect.

It is one thing to view people who are generally "good*" but have weakness. That would I would view myself as I'm good intentions who do good actions, but sometimes screw up. For women, I guess I can see them rationalize more.

It is another thing to view everyone (or girls) are bad with only a thin veil fooling almost everyone from my best friend, to family and married relatives, to everyone else.

Women cheating is not news, but if it that rampant to being worse than us and really worse than us, just better hidden and applies to all demographic of people I know. Then it would imply the above, and how can I get over that? There's no one to give the benefit of a doubt, not a girl to trust, and every person I know unless they're just banging ruthlessly is a chump.

---

Another thing, the other solution, be so alpha that she becomes fanatical, isn't a solution either. To me, it sounds like you have to have like rock star level of fame and even that type of infatuation cannot last forever either.

 

[starplayer]

I know man, it is a bit depressing. After being in the matrix so long it's actually quite a shock to see the truth. And even now I don't understand the whole reality of it.

At the moment I just want to fvck around, but I don't really want to be like that forever. One day I want a good girl.

I don't want to become a bitter guy. I still cling to the hope that there are some decent looking girls with nice personalities and who aren't slvts. Chances don't look too good though.

One of my AFC friends has just got into a relationship. This is a guy who viciously defends his "nice guy" view of the world and when ever I try to give him advice on girls he attacks my views so I don't even bother anymore. Maybe he'll learn the hard way - I don't want that but it might be best for him in the long run.


Women are Devilish Wh0res

Sometimes I wish I'd taken the blue pill instead of the red one. Ignorance is bliss.

 

[The Decay of Meaning]

I have female colleague. Anyway, once I was out to dinner with her and a few other people. She was going on and on about how a lot of the girls we knew were sluts. She was bashing them for cheating.

Literally TWO DAYS later, she cheated on her boyfriend with this guy at a party. Her boyfriend was out of town for a few weeks and he'd been gone for just over a week and here she was cheating on him.

And the really funny thing was, she asked me for a ride back....with the guy she was cheating with. Anyway, I was absolutely stunned by her blatant hypocrisy. But she acted like nothing was going on. For the whole car ride, she acted the same way she always does.

What was it that made you drive her home with that guy? I would have said "sorry hoe see you at work", bu you were perhaps thinking of your career and putting food on the table?

 

[bish0p]

You guys are killing me....

 

[Lexington]

What was it that made you drive her home with that guy? I would have said "sorry hoe see you at work", bu you were perhaps thinking of your career and putting food on the table?

What do I care if she cheats on her boyfriend? It's her life, it's her business. She lives close to me, so it wasn't like I was going out of my way. I don't see the point of burning bridges with a colleague you get along well with.

 

[Lord Sidious]

Going to let you know about me:

- I had several serious relationships. All the other gals I had were "just banging relationships".

Only in one of serious relationships I was cheated. All the others gals were completly obcessed with me and wanted the next step. On those relationships I cheated. In fact, 95% of the times I cheated. And guess what, the one I didn´t cheat was the same one I was cheated! Why? Simple, because I showed love, respect and loyalty. I was not dominant.

So, my idea is: - The more we show we are dominant and the least we give them what they want, we have far less chances to be cheated. However, it´s not certain that we won´t be one day.

 

[The Decay of Meaning]

Not to support religious fundamentalists, but there is a reason real muslims have their wifes covered up and have pretty strict standards when it comes to women. I think they figured out the nature of women. No offense.

 

[starplayer]

Not to support religious fundamentalists, but there is a reason real muslims have their wifes covered up and have pretty strict standards when it comes to women. I think they figured out the nature of women. No offense.

Yeah I don't agree with that extreme either. But we used to do the same in the West - for instance, 150 years ago women weren't even supposed to show their ankles.

They used to do all that to keep women's sexuality suppressed. This meant they could keep women in monogamous relationships and stop them gravitating towards the few alpha males. Those times were good for beta males, but bad for women and alpha males - today is the opposite.

It's only a matter of time before women in the Muslim world get liberated, then they can be slvts and wh0res too!