Women 35-45

[YawataNoKami]

It's funny really.

There is the camp that women after a certain age are all washed up, those guys are entitled to their view.

I'm 47 myself. I'm going to retire from regular day job work by 50. I've had my kids, still wear a size 4 dress, rock a bikini, have long thick hair, great looks, bikini body and I'm successful. Total package. Women like me exist. Women like me have life experience and wisdom. We are patient. We are self assured and not insecure, so the aspects of game that rely on "hamster spinning" or playing to insecurity doesn't work. There is no hamster to spin. I recognize game immediately. I always did, having been in the nightclub business.

If I like a man, I say so, and I show him as well (but I don't jump into bed). Then I watch & see what he does. If I like him I look for his lead. If he doesn't lead he either doesn't like me well enough or he doesn't know how to lead, in either case I'm out.

I enjoy sex & am good at it and while I pay attention to how a man is in bed, I'm more interested in him as a whole person than just for sex (this is also why I personally don't get the whole cougar thing...how exactly is a man substantially younger than me going to lead me? - he can't so I'm not interested although some women are.)

For me to consider a man for LTR he's got to be someone who is himself a self actualized person. I don't do hook ups or ONS. Sex is special, I like it to be special and I require emotional connection for it to progress.

I am happy to care for a man but pass on men who need someone to take care of them (i. e. men who don't have their own life together)

I find that there are more choices than ever at this age. Few women my age still look youthful & sexy, fewer still are also emotionally stable, and even fewer also have their financial lives & child rearing handled.

But having said all that I'm happy being me & doing my thing. I have someone who I see regularly for over a year who is 51, has 3 kids and who I really enjoy; I am also close with my ex husband, who is 50 and I don't see any need to change the way things are, and neither do the two men in my life.

I find there are plenty of men who would love to find a woman in this age range who is still hot, who has the same cultural references, who relates to children but isn't defined by them, who has life experience and wisdom, and is intelligent and self sufficient and demure.

And no the physical beauty won't last forever. But it won't for men either. And many of the guys who wife up someone 20 years younger find this out in divorce court when they get over the hill.

We are all going to age. Might as well enjoy life & good people and do it gracefully.

Who cares cupcake.
Rule of thumb: Men should never take dating advice from women.

 

[Desdinova]

Picking up a 23yo - negs/teasing/story telling/push-pull/agree&amplify/amused mastery/hot-cold/social proof

Picking up a 45yo - ''Hi''

Yup, can't say I disagree with that. A 45 year old knows her prime days of attracting a good man are over. She will take whatever she can get. Then there's women like @BeExcellent who will never let go of the idea that they're still highly desirable and valuable

I've broken down the age ranges of women based on their ideal functionality:

Age xteen-23: Meet man who tops her high score list
Age 23-27: Build relationship, co-habitate/get married
Age 27-35: Have children
Age 35-death: Expire in looks/viability, retain value in the relationship

There are some exceptions, but ideally this is how a woman is designed to function according to her age. Now, if a woman does anything outside this, she's going to run into problems. If before age 23 she loses the man who tops her HSL, she will have problems with every other age range because her value as a woman will fall, her ability to pairbond is ruined because she's already met her "soulmate", and she's going to spend the rest of those years trying to replace him until she realizes that she's become old and undesirable (or childless). At that point, she'll grasp at any man who shows a flicker of interest.

Age 27-35 is the age where a woman should already be with her "soulmate" and is procreating. If she has no man and no children, she's going to be on the hunt for one to procreate with. If you're giving her a lack of interest, she's going to ditch you for a man who's displaying the ability to stay around for the sole purpose of sperm donation.

If she has children at this point, she's looking for someone who is willing to become an instant father. If you're giving her a lack of interest, you're not showing her any stability which is what she wants for her children.

The average beta wins in this department because they'll have no problem donating sperm and/or becoming instant fathers in exchange for the golden carrot of sex being dangled above their heads.

 

[BeExcellent]

I'm simply relating what the market tells me as an example.

If that doesn't fall in line with someone else's theory or experience that's fine.

OP wanted to know why "game" doesn't work on women with more life experience.

@Spinach and I and a few others have explained why that might be. Others tell him date younger or try and enlighten him with theories.

Fact is there are some quality women around in this age group. Some are widowed, some divorced, many already have kids, many are more emotionally secure. It doesn't mean it's your cup of tea, he just wondered.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Older women require a chess strategy. It is not as easy, but one with meticulous manipulation & panache can checkmate in a few moves.

This differs greatly from younger women. Younger women will usually draw out a long, tedious pattern. In other words, you will waste more time with younger women. Either you checkmate older women or they checkmate you. Simple.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I have no experience with older women nor I want to have any, anyway I feel like that once their god-mode vanishes (the ability to get a man anytime they want), they start to think more like men.

They start to be concerned about the outcome or being used, getting a little insecure and so on.

 

[The Duke]

I have a buddy that dates a 48yo attorney. She's a solid HB8, easily pass for 36. Fun girl to be around. It wasnt until I got to know her and learned of her age that the light went on for me. So there are a few quite attractive women over the age of 40 and maybe I should reconsider. Haha thats what you get from drinking too much sosuave kool-aid.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

I am 46. I dare women in their forties. The woman I see regularly is 46. It is the best sex of my life. I don't game. I just have fun and enjoy life. Older women still want to have fun and may actually be more receptive to being a FWB. Lots of them have done the marriage thing and just want a bit of excitement and passion in their lives.

The fundamentals are the same. Lead, and use covert dread. Maintain frame, and don't be a douche .

 

[backbreaker]

you can't accuracy assess how a woman will act until you figure out how the woman was raised.

A woman from a strong nuclar family at 30 is going to act differently than a woman who doesn't know who her dad is.

i've dated mature 23 year olds. I've dated immature 38 year olds. a woman who was not raised by a strong father figure or a father figure at all is not going to have an idea of what is normal regardless of her age. My mom, who literately would not know who her father looks like if you put them in a room together is 52 and is still trying to find a man dispute running ogod man after good man off. she doesn't know what she wants

i have a female friend who is 29 who has no kids and will have a year anny in 2 months and loves her husband very much and is very committed. i have a 26 year old assistant with 2 kids that dates a man that beats the **** out of her and has a baby by someone she caught giving a blow job to another guy lol. the difference being the 29 year old's parents have been marired 30 plus years, the 26 year old's mom is a drug addict who she has only seen a handful of times in her life. the 26 year old who honestly is pretty hot lol, doesn't know what a stable relationship is supposed to look like becuase she has never seen one. the 29 year old, knew that her husband adores her and while he's not the hottest guy on the block (she's very pretty as well) he works hard and is faithful and cares about her.

the first thing you have to do when gaming a woman is figuring out her background. there is nothing you can do that will logically work on a woman with a ****ed up upbringing becsue she has no idea what she is doing


my dad, who has gamed more women than i can count, told me something i never will forget. never date a woman you wouldn't have a kid with., a lesson he ironically enough leared from my mom lol who is bat**** crazy lol. the rest of his GF's all came from stable 2 parent households and were all wify material. not to say he never ****ed other women but he never took other women seriously. the first question i would always ask myself when i was single is could i see myself having a kid by the woman., not that i wanted kids, but would this woman make a good mother. if i didn't think she was good enough to be the mother of my child, she's not good enough to take seriously. if she's not good enough to take seriously why are you wasting your time? i would never string a woman who was wify material along if i knew i didn't like her like that, you cut those loose. when i did realize i liked my wife "like that" i knew it was time to cut everyone else off.


about a month ago or so my assistant asked me for a personal favor.. could i babysit her 2 kids while she went on family reunion. i have 2 kids and my oldest is about her oldest age and they get along and **** why not no problem. but you have a boyfriend, why not leave your kids at home with him. **** he doesnt' even worklol the least he could do is watch your ****ing kids lol. she said she doesnt' trust him enough to watch the kids along.. i asked her then why are you dating someone you just said you don't trust around your kids? that alone shoudl tell you that you are wasting your time. having a kid does not make a woman mature by itself. there are idiots around here with kids.

kids or not, women don't mature until they are forced to and by forced to, meaning they aren't hot anymore lol. as long as this girl looks amazing in shorts she's going to be an idiot lol.

 

[LiveFreeX]

I'm 47 myself. I'm going to retire from regular day job work by 50. I've had my kids

Why not spend more quality time with your kids instead of clinging desperately to a men's pickup forum and writing long winded posts that no one cares to about? Time for an intervention.

having a kid does not make a woman mature by itself. there are idiots around here with kids.

Fact is there are some quality women around in this age group.

 

[Spinach]

wow....

 

[Once Bitten]

Picking up a 23yo - negs/teasing/story telling/push-pull/agree&amplify/amused mastery/hot-cold/social proof

Picking up a 45yo - ''Hi''

what do you mean by "negs"?

 

[Once Bitten]

If you date single women, it is best that her kids are not only grown, but out of her home and preferably married. This lessons the possibility of backlash from them. Which in my experience is very important.

 

[Spinach]

AMEN to that....

 

[PantyWhisperer]

I have also found that the 28-35 age range of women can be super difficult. Many single moms in this age range. I know one who is 31, drop dead gorgeous, has an 11 year old son, never married. He doesn't even really live with her and she only spends maybe 5 hours a week with the kid, max. She has her own townhouse, some money and is in nursing school, having finally decided to do something with her life. She's an all day 8.
Yet, her latest boyfriend is a loser with an extensive criminal record and she has just come off of 3 abortions, 3 years in a row, with 3 different men. Every time she has a potential nice guy, she curbs him in favor of some "bad boy". It's a shame. She doesn't seem to realize bad boy and white trash are not the same thing.

Totally new member/poster here. I'm not currently active in the game full time, but I love to coach and take my swings where I can sneak them in.

 

[Fireballs]

what do you mean by "negs"?

"Negative hits" - They're backhanded compliments .. e.g. "I like your shoes, those are really popular now" or combine it with some kino .. "You have some lipstick on your face, here let me wipe that off for you"

But it's important to remember that they're not insults .. If you insult her she will turn on you but if you neg her she will turn on herself = tingles ..

 

[CMNILS87]

Women in late 20's/30's are looking for relationship game I've noticed, not jerk boy game. Could be due to the crazies clocks ticking and husband hunting. Being sarcastic and negging too much will turn a chick off that was super into you at the beginning of the date. Subtlety and patience.

 

[Desdinova]

what do you mean by "negs"?

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/sir_chancealots-definitive-neg-hit-post.16747/

 

[womenandroads.com]

I specifically photograph women "over 40" for my site constantly. I find it odd that 90% of the women would 'hook up' with a younger guy (the available ones), yet many 'college dudes' would not. I'm older now, but when I was 25 my friend would be checking out the 25 yr. old waitress (and good on him), but I was looking at her 47 yr. old mother working behind the bar. (Good on me.) But there IS this stigma which seems to come from younger guys, not the 'older' women.

 

[Once Bitten]

It's funny really.

There is the camp that women after a certain age are all washed up, those guys are entitled to their view.

I'm 47 myself. I'm going to retire from regular day job work by 50. I've had my kids, still wear a size 4 dress, rock a bikini, have long thick hair, great looks, bikini body and I'm successful. Total package. Women like me exist. Women like me have life experience and wisdom. We are patient. We are self assured and not insecure, so the aspects of game that rely on "hamster spinning" or playing to insecurity doesn't work. There is no hamster to spin. I recognize game immediately. I always did, having been in the nightclub business.

If I like a man, I say so, and I show him as well (but I don't jump into bed). Then I watch & see what he does. If I like him I look for his lead. If he doesn't lead he either doesn't like me well enough or he doesn't know how to lead, in either case I'm out.

I enjoy sex & am good at it and while I pay attention to how a man is in bed, I'm more interested in him as a whole person than just for sex (this is also why I personally don't get the whole cougar thing...how exactly is a man substantially younger than me going to lead me? - he can't so I'm not interested although some women are.)

For me to consider a man for LTR he's got to be someone who is himself a self actualized person. I don't do hook ups or ONS. Sex is special, I like it to be special and I require emotional connection for it to progress.

I am happy to care for a man but pass on men who need someone to take care of them (i. e. men who don't have their own life together)

I find that there are more choices than ever at this age. Few women my age still look youthful & sexy, fewer still are also emotionally stable, and even fewer also have their financial lives & child rearing handled.

But having said all that I'm happy being me & doing my thing. I have someone who I see regularly for over a year who is 51, has 3 kids and who I really enjoy; I am also close with my ex husband, who is 50 and I don't see any need to change the way things are, and neither do the two men in my life.

I find there are plenty of men who would love to find a woman in this age range who is still hot, who has the same cultural references, who relates to children but isn't defined by them, who has life experience and wisdom, and is intelligent and self sufficient and demure.

And no the physical beauty won't last forever. But it won't for men either. And many of the guys who wife up someone 20 years younger find this out in divorce court when they get over the hill.

We are all going to age. Might as well enjoy life & good people and do it gracefully.

They like them young because they can lead them, be respected by them, and are more slender and easier to do quick repeat performances, so I'm told anyway.
And the cougar doesn't have to put up with a bratty young woman either. The older ones know what to do and appreciate it. I was once a Cougar myself @ 18yo, w/@ 32yo. She rocked my world...

 

[BeExcellent]

I understand all that @Once Bitten, I do. My step brother, who is 48, just married a 35 year old. She's a very cool gal & good for him. God knows he deserves a good woman it after all the BS his ex put him through. I personally have never understood the whole cougar thing. The man I see regularly is 51 and I enjoy him and respect him a great deal. Like me he looks about 10-12 years younger than he is. We each have 3 children so we also relate about parenting teens and dealing with ex's and aging parents.

There's a 40 year old guy who wants to date, but I think he's too young for me, and besides he's not a dad yet. If he ever wants children I'm not the woman for him anyway as I've had mine & been to the vet. I've told him this very directly (we are former colleagues and have many mutual friends.) There's also a 37 year old dj and a 42 year old attorney. The younger guys just don't hold much appeal for me, although the lawyer is extremely intelligent & accomplished and also has a daughter who is my daughter's age, as well as a charming personality, so I might actually consider going out with him if I wasn't already seeing someone who I really like.

My point is generally that there are some women in this age range who have taken care of themselves who have the maturity and stability of the life experience commiserate with our age (I see you are 50 yourself), who still look good and who still have choices in the market. I find the market actually has more choices now, not less.

Why? Because as you allude to in your post, most women in our age range have gained weight, lost their shape, ruined their skin, and frumped out. If they end up divorced or widowed they do not have the physical draw high SMV men require. But for the few who kept themselves up (and got good genetics, which helps), there are lots of choices. I met the attorney on a friend's yacht, so he saw me in a bikini. I have a better figure than most 25 year olds, despite children and without any surgical alterations whatsoever. He kept marveling at my age, and that I had 3 kids and look the way I do. So a woman like me is quite a find to someone in our age range...that's what the market tells me all the time, in parts of the country like Southern CA, where there are lots of attractive women to begin with. I find men love having someone who they find both hot and relatable around. My lover notices the way heads turn. He likes it a great deal and makes a point to tell me so.

Finding women like this is no easy task, that I understand. It takes being in the right location. Much more likely for example in San Diego, CA than in Peoria, IL. It also takes having a solid social network and being involved in some activities that attract fit people (tennis, golf, riding, surfing, etc.)

Two problems arise dating younger women. One is if they haven't had kids they are likely to expect to have some and you get to be the dad (my lover has a friend who is 53 and dating a 38 year old. They just had a baby but his other children from his first wife are almost grown. Neither of us can imagine starting over with a new baby at 53.) The other issue is that you do not know whether or not this younger woman is going to gain weight, let herself go, and quit placing a high priority on keeping fit as she ages (especially after childbirth) whereas an older woman who has already had her children and still keeps up her figure has demonstrated that staying fit is a priority.

So those are some thoughts to consider.