Woman's logic

[TBG]

It's crazy man.

Was seeing this girl (hanging out. Sleeping with each other) for the past month or so. On Saturday she asked if I was still in town after an event and wanted to come for a drink with her and her friend. It was on my way home so I stopped by.

Her friend knew we were seeing each other but nothing serious. Anyways a question comes up and the girl let's slip she slept with some guy earlier on the week. I play it cool, don't react or say anything. I just continue like nothing happened. She mentions it when I'm driving her home and I basically tell her we're both free to do what we want but I didn't want to particularly hear about another guy pumping you. She says I've made her upset blah blah.

Next day comes and she still says she feels bad about it, and that she wants to see where things go with that other guy so if we hang out it would be purely on a platonic level. So basically LJBF.

Again I don't react, I just tell her okay but on one condition, you hook me up with one of your friends I've got my eye on. Cause you know "friends" help each other out.

What follows is a tirade of hate messages. Apparently I'm a hypocrite for saying I like her even though I still like other girls photos on Instagram. (This coming from the girl sleeping with someone else.) How dare I go for one of her friends days after making her feel bad blah blah.

Currently sitting at 14 messages sent by her with no response by me and she's not even finished work yet. Could easily get into treble figures I reckon

 

[Glassguy]

She is telling you how she wants to be treated and even what she is looking for. She wants to be fvcked and nothing more.

I see no foul on what your doing, but I would have certainly done it another way. I would have just messaged the friend myself and not have asked her to do it, but only if you truly want to hook up with her friend vs trying to get back at her. I would have not even mentioned what the girl said about fvcking the other guy at all. Just let it go and put it back in the "visit later" file.

When you asked her to do it, you appeared butthurt by her letting it slip that she was with someone else. No matter how you handled that line, that is how she took it.

Whereas if you would have just started messaging her friend, she will eventually find out about it anyways, but it gives you a stronger chance of actually hooking up with her friend.

If you go that route, the friend is certainly going to ask you about seeing whats her name. I would just tell the friend that you guys went out a few times but are both seeing other people and you want to meet up for a drink.

And btw, in reference to the title to your thread.....women dont operate on logic. They operate on emotions. If you hook them emotionally there will be far less of a chance this shyte happens. Dont waste your time trying to wonder why she doesnt think "logically".

 

[marmel75]

She wants you in the worst way and is hoping to make you jealous...that didnt just "slip" it was planned to get a reaction from you. When you didn't react the way she had hoped she got upset.

She played her hand.

Keep doing what you are doing she will be back.

 

[Murk]

What Amante Silvestre said.

 

[GT40]

Women act on pure Emotions.
There is no Logic involved. None.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Asking her to set you up with her mate was the exact sort of no fvcks given likely to make her interest rise.

You are on the right track as usual, my friend, but you can push that idea even farther. Whenever the subject of other guys comes up, I immediately propose a gangbang. Not one woman has taken me up on the proposition. It would be even better if I could make that suggestion in front of one of her friends, like the OP had the chance to do. You would be telling both of them that she is a wh0re, a golden moment!

 

[Fruitbat]

Basic "do you really like me" test.

She wanted you to get jealous, she was testing how you react to her sleeping with other guys. When you acted cool, she ramped it up by LJBFing you and telling you she is going for the other guy.

Then when you sent about her friends, her hamster went mental.

I've been accused of seeing everything as a shyt test but I've found life with women involves frequent shyt tests.

I'm not a fan of playing things too cool past the first few dates, as in, it's completely normal for a man to be p1ssed off at a girl he is fvcking doing another guy and talking openly. Any self respecting man should be angry about that. Too passive otherwise. Not to say you lose your shyt., but laughing off initially and then if she pushes it, a "WTF? You think I will accept this?"

Girls who are doing what she claimed, playing her options, DONT TELL THE GUYS. Girls who cheat don;t tell their partners. The guys you are told about, are the guys who mean nothing and are used to make you jealous. The other guy you should fear is the one you hear nothing about, and you'll usually hear about them 3 months after you're dumped.

Half of the outrageous behaviour you hear from women is them provoking reactions. Sometimes the reaction shouldn't be nonchalence, that is purely to show you have emotional control. Domestic abuse victims are nonchalent, they don't get angry. As a man, you are not supposed to be cool about this. If you tolerate a girl doing this and laugh it off, who else is walking all over you?

 

[Fruitbat]

When you wrote that this girl invited you out for drinks with her friend, it immediately raised a red flag with me.

I have had a lot of female friends in my social circle over the years, and I have been privy to listening in on many discussions that they have had with each other about men they are involved with, in all capacities. These women do not talk about crushes, butterflies and rainbows....they talk about relationships like they're generals on a battlefield trying to win the war, and they often advise each other on what to do next.

What I have learned is that, although women by themselves can often be illogical, when they collude with each other they morph into brilliant strategians. Most of their strategies can be reduced down to ultimatums in some fashion or another.

It would not surprise me in the least bit, Occam's razor and all of that based on the sh*t I've seen, that the friend's role in this meeting for drinks was to be the targeted subject for a conversation in which this girl can plausibly and "accidentally" slip out a comment about sleeping with another man, which was intended for you to hear. Surely this wouldn't have been an accidental comment if she were just having drinks alone with you. In fact, it also wouldn't surprise me if there was no other guy at all.


A woman purely in it for the FWB situation is not the type to get upset if you agreed things were purely sexual between the two of you. She would not get upset if you indicated that you were also pursuing other partners. She would not feel bad for admitting, accidentally or intentionally, that she has or had encounters with other men. She didn't bring it up later because she felt bad. She brought it up to make sure you heard it, because they didn't get a reaction initially. She would not drag the issue back up once again after you had shrugged it off as no big deal. And she would not LJBF you over it in order to "see where things go" with someone else. I have had and currently have mutually agreed upon FWB arrangements, and none of these women would ever behave in such a way.

These are, however, all of the typical reactions of a woman who becomes interested in more than just a FWB situation.

It is entirely plausible to me that she started to develop feelings, confided in her friend about all of the sorted details and they came up with a surefire way to test whether or not you had similar feelings or was entirely content with just getting laid. Hence the accidental comment. It was designed to trigger a telltale reaction out of you that would hopefully give them the answer that they seek, one way or another.

You stuck to your guns. The woman was just disappointed in your answer, which is probably why she cut it all off "to see where things go" elsewhere. She knew it wasn't going to go where she hoped it would.

This. I just had to deal with a load of shyt and I finally got it out of my GF that her friend told her to be "more of a challenge"

They talk about this like we discuss tactics for the big game.

Agree that this guy probably doesn't exist.

I think a few posters might forget that a lot of women aren't wanting a guy who DNGAF, they want a guy who actually likes them, and has value.

It's only stripper/abused trash who get off on being a worthless fvcktoy. However, these are often the primary targets of sosuavers!

Note: I am fully aware that it builds interest in either sex to be uninvested and present that challenge, however, head rules a lot of women, they are pragmatic as hell and won't continue with a guy who offers no emotional investment, unless they are damaged.

 

[TBG]

Can't reply to everyone individually.

There's 100% another guy. Earlier in the week she went MIA. Didn't hear from her in days (I didn't talk in that time either and she's the type that will continue texting until I reply), the only update I had was a post on Facebook which was a photo that was obviously taken on a date with that guy. There's even a comment on it from him that implies he spent the night, so yeah they ****ed.

With regards to her friend, I am interested in her but she's definitely not GF material. She's just an easy ****. But yeah it probably came across as being butt hurt to ask her about her friend, but I just saw it as an easy in. Like you want to be friends so help a friend out and put a word in for me, give me her number etc.

With regards to what I want from the girl I do like, I've already told her I didn't want to put a label on things but I did want to see where things went with her. Like I say I had no issue with what she's done, we're both single, but it's just something I didn't want to hear and something I wouldn't have told her.

Blowing my phone up and calling me a hypocrite over liking models photos on Instagram and asking about her friend whilst she's been swallowing another guys load is the only things that's really pissed me off. There is no logic behind that. But yes that women for you.

Anyways she obviously calmed down as the afternoon went on. When she left work she sent "I don't want things to be horrible I just don't need things made weirder if we are to continue hanging out" i.e please don't get with my friend. I didn't reply to that so late at night she sent "uggggghh". Again no reply.

 

[Speculator E]

There's 100% another guy. Earlier in the week she went MIA. Didn't hear from her in days (I didn't talk in that time either and she's the type that will continue texting until I reply), the only update I had was a post on Facebook which was a photo that was obviously taken on a date with that guy. There's even a comment on it from him that implies he spent the night, so yeah they ****ed.

There's always another guy/orbiter to replace you. I agree she's emotionally invested in you. This sound like she's doing it out of spite. Likely what happened is you made her so angry that she reach out to one of her guy friend who's been trying to get with her and went on a date. The Facebook post was made for you.

 

[sosousage]

i agree with @marmel75 .

or you could also block her, it wont get you the puss but it might teach her selfish ass. why is she even complaining. she made you friend first and then doesnt want to help. WOMEN friends definition is to "chat with me when i am bored" "meet with me and my other friends when we have nothing to talk about" etc

 

[TBG]

i agree with @marmel75 .

or you could also block her, it wont get you the puss but it might teach her selfish ass. why is she even complaining. she made you friend first and then doesnt want to help. WOMEN friends definition is to "chat with me when i am bored" "meet with me and my other friends when we have nothing to talk about" etc

And that's why I said we could be "friends" on one condition. Why should I invest into something and get nothing in return.

And to be clear the friend i mentioned wasn't her best friend or even a close friend. It's just a girl she knows.

 

[Sneaky Pete]

It's only stripper/abused trash who get off on being a worthless fvcktoy. However, these are often the primary targets of sosuavers!

Note: I am fully aware that it builds interest in either sex to be uninvested and present that challenge, however, head rules a lot of women, they are pragmatic as hell and won't continue with a guy who offers no emotional investment, unless they are damaged.

^Yes, I have found this to be true!

 

[Sneaky Pete]

Just for clarification, when I said It wouldn't surprise me if there wasn't another guy, it was meant to highlight the extent women will sometimes go to with their scheming. It was not a claim that this is the actual situation you're dealing with. In fact, nothing I had said previously was a claim to the actual circumstances you are in, other than the simple probability that this girl developed some feelings along the way and even more likely proceeded to get a reaction out of you to gauge where you were on that topic. This makes what happened seem perfectly logical, and you essentially confirmed her logic when I read this:





You basically told her that you were open to the possibility of a relationship and that the two of you can revisit the topic later. Now is later. She wanted to know about the possibility.

Now obviously, this would have been a lot cleaner if she had just brought the topic up explicitly for a mature discussion on it, but there is a reason why women will not do that and opt to play games instead.

The reason?

Genuine reaction. They want the truth.

Women sometimes play these kinds of games to get the definitive truth out of men because they know that if they bring up a topic explicitly, many guys will either tap dance around it, push the conversation down the line to maintain the casual thing a little longer and/or sometimes just tell them what they want to hear without really meaning it. How many threads do you think there are in this forum from men wanting to know how to handle a woman they are sleeping with who want to have the relationship talk? Plenty.

When a woman can elicit a genuine emotion out of a man, it often gives a woman a sense of what's really going on, just as many men here will say you should always pay attention to what a woman does and not to what she says. It's essentially the same thing. It's not a concept exclusive to just men.

That's the only reason I chimed in on this thread, not because I think you did anything wrong at all. I wanted to open the topic to a discussion on what's logical vs. illogical.

There's a lot of talk about illogical and "BPD" chicks in this forum, and there are certainly those types out there. But, I personally think the majority of women are more logical than we give them credit for. We often think they're crazy because the games they play to elicit genuine reactions out of us are not supposed to make logical sense to us. If it did make sense to us, if it was logical, then we would obviously know what they are trying to do and we would naturally try to play the situation out logically in order to achieve our own end-goal, rather than emotionally, as they want us to.




I developed an approach over many years where I began to maintain civil relations with as many women as possible that I got involved with, both during and after dating them. And this is one of the reasons why. Asking a woman I slept with years ago to introduce me to a friend of hers is rarely ever a big deal, and in many cases, they are happy to do so while putting in some positive word on me. It really broadens my social circle and allows me more opportunities to meet new women that way. But I would never do this with a woman I was currently or very recently sexually active with.

Look at it this way: You didn't even want to know anything about this other guy even though you probably don't know him. Right? Even though you had a casual arrangement and decided these other encounters are acceptable under the circumstance. If that's enough to bother you, you certainly wouldn't be cool with her hooking up with someone you do know, no less being the one who actually sets that situation up. Nonetheless, you proposed that she do this for you.

Logic is a funny thing... A logical conclusion requires solid premises. In this game we play, those premises are often biased by our own interests, which can blind us to some facts and circumstances that can make all of the difference between what is seen as logical and illogical.....

Hats off to you sir, you know your ****tt!!

 

[wifehunter]

 

[Trump]

It's crazy man.

Was seeing this girl (hanging out. Sleeping with each other) for the past month or so. On Saturday she asked if I was still in town after an event and wanted to come for a drink with her and her friend. It was on my way home so I stopped by.

Wouldn't have. Too spontaneous. Alterior motive.

She mentions it when I'm driving her home and I basically tell her we're both free to do what we want but I didn't want to particularly hear about another guy pumping you.

You are sleeping with a girl you are sexually atttracted to, and tell her it's no problem that she is getting pounded by a 6'2 basketball player on weekends, you just don't want to hear about it?

Are you kidding bro?

Next day comes and she still says she feels bad about it, and that she wants to see where things go with that other guy so if we hang out it would be purely on a platonic level. So basically LJBF.

Again I don't react, I just tell her okay but on one condition, you hook me up with one of your friends I've got my eye on. Cause you know "friends" help each other out.

No bro you didn't react. You only told her that you want to have sex with one of her hot friends.

Come on guys, when they say LJBF, you say "OK".
One week later invite her out and see what says. Don't ask for anything in return, especially to sleep with her hot best friend.

 

[sph21]

I'm not a fan of playing things too cool past the first few dates, as in, it's completely normal for a man to be p1ssed off at a girl he is fvcking doing another guy and talking openly. Any self respecting man should be angry about that. Too passive otherwise. Not to say you lose your shyt., but laughing off initially and then if she pushes it, a "WTF? You think I will accept this?"

Girls who are doing what she claimed, playing her options, DONT TELL THE GUYS. Girls who cheat don;t tell their partners. The guys you are told about, are the guys who mean nothing and are used to make you jealous. The other guy you should fear is the one you hear nothing about, and you'll usually hear about them 3 months after you're dumped.

Half of the outrageous behaviour you hear from women is them provoking reactions. Sometimes the reaction shouldn't be nonchalence, that is purely to show you have emotional control. Domestic abuse victims are nonchalent, they don't get angry. As a man, you are not supposed to be cool about this. If you tolerate a girl doing this and laugh it off, who else is walking all over you?

Holy Sh1t! If only I read this 6 months ago, I would have saved my time & energy while dating with a crazy chick. So, I lost her respect because I was lost and trying to be a nice guy by laughing it off.

 

[TBG]

Wouldn't have. Too spontaneous. Alterior motive.



You are sleeping with a girl you are sexually atttracted to, and tell her it's no problem that she is getting pounded by a 6'2 basketball player on weekends, you just don't want to hear about it?

Are you kidding bro?



No bro you didn't react. You only told her that you want to have sex with one of her hot friends.

Come on guys, when they say LJBF, you say "OK".
One week later invite her out and see what says. Don't ask for anything in return, especially to sleep with her hot best friend.

All taking on board.

Well any ways I ended up replying to her (I know I shouldn't have), she's adamant she want's to see where things go with that other guy on a relationship level so if we did hang out it would have to be purely platonic. She said she's consciously making the decision to take it serious with him and can't have any distractions.

Fully believe I've been LJBF so I wish her the best and leave it. Hadn't heard from her in two days, until this evening.

Now last night I went on a date with someone new and as ever when i go to this fancy gin/****tail bar I take a video for my Instagram story. You couldn't see the girls face but you could tell I was on a date. End up going back to hers and I put a video up of me playing with her cat (wasn't the only ***** I played with). The other girl sees this and of course messages me to say "If you aren't hugely busy next week and would like to do something then we should if you think it wouldn't be weird".

Am I right in thinking just ignore her.