Woman who flaked on me online will appear in person

[ThisNThat]

To clarify the headline, when I did the OK Cupid thing a year ago and I tried to get a date with a woman on there, we had chatted on the phone and set up a date only to have her flake at the last minute.

She never did reschedule and deleted her profile. She informed me that her dog had passed away and wasn't really up for socializing or much of anything lately and was focused on work.

Fast fwd a year later, saw her profile reappear on the site...figured she had taken a break and I sent her "Hey, long time no see...what have you been up to?

Very brief, "Work, work, work." She wasn't being engaging like she was a year ago.

That's it. At that point I was like "Fvck her" and let her be...about a week later her profile disappeared again.

Now I attend these Meetup events in my area and now she's popped up on the radar again. We do events like Trivia night, game night, hiking, kayaking, etc (diverse stuff). and now I may actually wind up seeing her in person, organically. I'm not sure if this'll be awkward or if she'd even remember me, but she's a new member and I've been a member for a while.

I don't know, but it's going to feel kind of weird to have someone that flaked on you and was perhaps trying to avoid you online to finally see them in person. Yes? No?

Or, would this be a do-over, will she actually see the TRUE me in action?

 

[Serenity]

Get to know her in person first if she doesn't recognize you from online dating. When she is comfortable around you then nonchalantly bring up recognizing her from online dating, if you wish.

Using that as a conversation starter might give off a creepy stalker vibe. If you get to know her a little first and she's having a good time with you it won't ruin anything even if she did try to avoid you online, because then you have already proven you're a great guy. If it's some of the first few things you say it may affect her first impression negatively.

There's also the case where she might recognize you. If she brings it up then be nonchalant about it, that you recognize her too. Then change the subject, do not bring up your disappointment about her flaking or that you thought she was avoiding you. Don't even joke about it.

As for meeting someone you've talked to online in real life randomly, I don't think that's awkward, if you handle it the way I suggested. It can pretty easily become awkward if you handle it the way I suggest you don't do.

 

[sazc]

I'd say she is not interested. It's def worth it for you to try and get to know her in person as OLD is pretty much taken in the context of "is this person is attractive to me?"
being attractive-in-a-picture- and attractive-in-personality-that-grows-into-being-attractive are two different things, and do happen. that's the issue with OLD versus meeting someone out, socially.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

Her first excuse was just a covered refusal.
Maybe some of her other prospects escalated, decided to close profile.
Later her relationship attempt failed she comes back, and you put her on the spot reaching to her, so she shows you that she is not interested.
If you happen to cross with her, make as you do not remember her, if she happens to bring the conversation up immediately fake like "ahhh yes I remember you" and say a wrong name as far as possible to her real one, if she brings it up later, say ohhh yes and then bring unaccurate information like you are mixing her with someone else.
Probably she is not interested, but at least you will **** her ego a little bit.

 

[ThisNThat]

Good points, but also I don't want her thinking if I show up in person at these events that she may be thinking, "Oh crap, he's following me around!" (If she recognizes me) lol Knowing how paranoid and wacky these women can be these days.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

When she is comfortable around you then nonchalantly bring up recognizing her from online dating, if you wish.

Why? What exactly is this going to accomplish? OP somehow gains some sort of social upper hand to slap her ego down a notch? Does this lead to better chances for OP getting laid? No.

The best approach here is if you do in fact see her in person, and recognize her, simply introduce yourself as if it's the first time meeting her...because it is!

 

[Plums]

To clarify the headline, when I did the OK Cupid thing a year ago and I tried to get a date with a woman on there, we had chatted on the phone and set up a date only to have her flake at the last minute.

She never did reschedule and deleted her profile. She informed me that her dog had passed away and wasn't really up for socializing or much of anything lately and was focused on work.

Fast fwd a year later, saw her profile reappear on the site...figured she had taken a break and I sent her "Hey, long time no see...what have you been up to?

Very brief, "Work, work, work." She wasn't being engaging like she was a year ago.

That's it. At that point I was like "Fvck her" and let her be...about a week later her profile disappeared again.

Now I attend these Meetup events in my area and now she's popped up on the radar again. We do events like Trivia night, game night, hiking, kayaking, etc (diverse stuff). and now I may actually wind up seeing her in person, organically. I'm not sure if this'll be awkward or if she'd even remember me, but she's a new member and I've been a member for a while.

I don't know, but it's going to feel kind of weird to have someone that flaked on you and was perhaps trying to avoid you online to finally see them in person. Yes? No?

Or, would this be a do-over, will she actually see the TRUE me in action?

She may well like you more in person, but would you want her now? Don't feel awkward about it. Keep going along to your club and just have a sense of humour about it if you do meet her. She sounds like a wound up person so is likely to be the one who would want to avoid an awkward situation. Just invest your time in meeting others.

 

[shesabranchswinger]

To clarify the headline, when I did the OK Cupid thing a year ago and I tried to get a date with a woman on there, we had chatted on the phone and set up a date only to have her flake at the last minute.

She never did reschedule and deleted her profile. She informed me that her dog had passed away and wasn't really up for socializing or much of anything lately and was focused on work.

Fast fwd a year later, saw her profile reappear on the site...figured she had taken a break and I sent her "Hey, long time no see...what have you been up to?

Very brief, "Work, work, work." She wasn't being engaging like she was a year ago.

That's it. At that point I was like "Fvck her" and let her be...about a week later her profile disappeared again.

Now I attend these Meetup events in my area and now she's popped up on the radar again. We do events like Trivia night, game night, hiking, kayaking, etc (diverse stuff). and now I may actually wind up seeing her in person, organically. I'm not sure if this'll be awkward or if she'd even remember me, but she's a new member and I've been a member for a while.

I don't know, but it's going to feel kind of weird to have someone that flaked on you and was perhaps trying to avoid you online to finally see them in person. Yes? No?

Or, would this be a do-over, will she actually see the TRUE me in action?

I see it this way you connected the 1st time talked to her on the phone, then she met someone else at the candy store that made her gina tingle more than you do so she picked him and closed her account. They went out for 9 months to a year and she did not want to hurt your feelings and she wanted to keep you in the pool. So she told you her dog died. Then she comes back online for some more candy and you fall out of the sky in her lap making it to easy for her. So she puts you on the back burner again for someone who pumps and dumps her. Now she's all fed up with OLD because the guys that she really likes physically just want to pump and dump her. So now she's giving the meet up a try.

Now to the important part.......
Hell no it won't be weird if you play your cards rite.
That meet up is your house don't feel weird in your house. You want to piss on the flowers in the backyard go right ahead it's your house (you get my point). Don't bring up anything with her from the past if she does obfuscate and not recall much. I would be cordial with her at first but let her meet other people and work her way to me (you). Chat her up for a little while make sure you have her on a positive level then through her back to the Wolf's and chat up a few other people so she knows she doesn't have you on the backup anymore. If her interest level is high enough for you she will make her way back to you and then you can reassess if her interest in you is high enough like 101s and a little keno. If things are going your way pull the trigger and close I.E.: number, kissing, back to your place etc... A year or so has past she has not really thought about you so why let her think you have been thinking about her? She has earned none of your respect if anything she's friend zoned you twice I'd make dam sure there would not be a 3rd time that is if your still romantically interested in her?

 

[nismo-4]

Why would you want someone who rejected you years ago? She flaked because Chad, Tyrone, and Kevin escalated on her. You weren't attractive. Sorry.

Find greener pastures. Seriously, she is not that attractive and you know you can do better.

Sorry you came in last place. If you're not first, you're last. Find a girl you can come in first with.

 

[Serenity]

Why? What exactly is this going to accomplish? OP somehow gains some sort of social upper hand to slap her ego down a notch? Does this lead to better chances for OP getting laid? No.

The best approach here is if you do in fact see her in person, and recognize her, simply introduce yourself as if it's the first time meeting her...because it is!

You're right, it isn't going to score any points. That's why I said "if you wish". I meant that if he feels he has to say it then at least don't say it right off the bat. If they've gotten to know each other for real first and he doesn't make a big deal of it then it won't do much harm, but you are right this isn't going to score points either.

This is the type of thing I'd eventually mention as a sort of funfact, not because I'd hope getting anything of significance from it. Not everything has to be a game.

 

[El Payaso]

She's not interested do just forget about her. At this point, she doesn't exist to you anymore.