Woman send me an email after 8 months

[DJDamage]

well I decided to respond, I have no expectations maybe for my own amusment so this is what I wrote:

Hey Mary,

You're way too late on the advice. I won the lottery and spent half of it on booze, cigs and poker.....then I wasted the rest.

Now 8 months is a long time for a response Mary, I am a bit surprised to get a response after all this time. Now you asked me for forgiveness but in order for me to hear you out, you need to make it up to me.

I think you should meet me next week at the school's pub for a drink after your classes.

Lets see if anything happens.

 

[iqqi]

Yuck. I HATE the last line. Sounds like you are asking. "I think you should... for a drink..."

YUCK. You should have TOLD her she was going to buy you a drink, AFTER she responded to your first witty line. You should've drawn this one out. Line one sent first, then line two and three (modified) after you hooked her with line one.

SIGH>

 

[Alexander the Great]

Read below for nuance, I'll just sum it up: I think you botched this one.

Indeed, with the last sentence, you made it too dependent on her. Next time, don't ask. State. State your terms. Don't ask the enemy how he wants to surrender. You tell him.

Also, your particular phrasing of the rest of the message sounds accusational. Never, ever use a person's name anywhere else in a message the way you did. It, and the way it was used in concordance with the rest of the message, made it seem like you're lecturing her for not messaging you for so long a time. It places you above her alright, but in a pedantic fashion. So, not good.

To be honest, if I were her, I'd think you an annoyance right now and not bother anymore. Seriously. Unless I had some genuine interest, but even then it would have struck a mark against you.


An alternative could/should have been:

"Hey Mary,

You're way too late on the advice! I won the lottery and spent half of it on booze, cigs and poker... then I wasted the rest .

Wow, it's been a while since I last heard from you. I was quite surprised when I got your message. Anyway, you've asked me for forgiveness, but... you'll have to make it up to me!

Meet me next week at the school's pub after your classes, where you can buy me a drink ;-). Let me know when I can expect you."

Some notes on this version:

It's harmless and playful. Enthousiastic yet non-needy. It makes you seem happy to hear from her again without throwing yourself at her. There's nothing wrong with sounding a enthousiastic while maintaining a frame on yourself. Of course, that also depends on your mindset. Your own message was a bit... too obviously "I don't care" in that regard. I'm sure you didn't really wanted to convey that, did you?

Also, note the use of the smilies to strengthen the perception of humour and innocence. You mean it seriously after all, but in a fun and light manner. Right?

If you get a date in reply to this message, meet set. You can mail her a place of course. If not, don't bother. Anyone no going into this laid-back, non-pressuring proposal was never really interested in the first place.


Alright. Hope it helps on future attempts. Yours seemed like you took things a bit too seriously (not an indication of your mindset, I hope?). Let us know her response on the one you sent though! .

 

[DJDamage]

Alright. Hope it helps on future attempts. Yours seemed like you took things a bit too seriously (not an indication of your mindset, I hope?). Let us know her response on the one you sent though! .

Frankly I didn't put too much stock into this. If it happens great if it doesn't then its no big deal, I already wrote her off when she failed to reply to my email after the first week anyway.

 

[decades]

Yeah I think in responding so quickly in this particular manner, the email let her off the hook, fed her ego, and set her up as the prize she thinks she is...the message implied that her simply meeting you for a drink (being in the Queen's presence) is enough to "make it up to you". The offer to travel to her location and not her to yours, does not send the message to her that she must make it up to you. It requires no effort on her part.

 

[Alexander the Great]

Frankly I didn't put too much stock into this. If it happens great if it doesn't then its no big deal, I already wrote her off when she failed to reply to my email after the first week anyway.

Then why bother to reply at all? Let alone make a post about it on SS? Not putting any stock into it is a sure way of not getting anything...

(And persistent, you seem a little phased. What's with all the bitterness?)

Anyway, I'll save my own stock then, if you're going to.

 

[decades]

what is it you don't agree with Alexander?

 

[DJDamage]

Then why bother to reply at all? Let alone make a post about it on SS? Not putting any stock into it is a sure way of not getting anything...

Well she is still a good looking girl and if something were to happen then great and if not then I will easily move on to the next. I am in this stage of the game where I am not really sweating about it if this girl answers me or not.

 

[BadsnakeUK]

What I meant by running sh1t tests on her is make sure she has to put a little effort in or is willing to be a bit flexible. As with any game, don't let her call all the shots and don't reward her when she doesn't deserve it.

However, bear in mind she wants to preserve a little dignity and will probably feel she has done a fair amount of chasing by making the initial move here. Give it a chance - I did when it happened to me and got a BJ out of it! Can't be bad for the price of a coffee...

 

[Alexander the Great]

what is it you don't agree with Alexander?

Nothing

 

[mrRuckus]

You'd be hitting that ass in two weeks if you would of ran your reply by us before you sent it. I'm afraid you are done. Live and learn.

Pure speculation.

 

[DJDamage]

well I got a response:

Darn, that's obviously why I should have emailed you back earlier!

Sounds good, is Monday 1pm ok?

Mary

The only thing is that today I went to my doctor and he told me that I have acute case of Bronchitis and I will have to be on antibiotics for a week which means no drinking. Hopefully I will be ok by next wed or just make up excuse that I am working or something and I will reschedule.... My gut instinct tells me that this is still kinda bizzare since I only had a conversation with her for like 5 mins took her email and she blow me off for 8 months. Oh well I will get to the bottom of this, whether its a joke or not.

Women are wacked. That's all I have to say about that....

 

[iqqi]

I say blow her off since you are sick.

You don't have to be perfect, since she is the one is blew it the first time.

Blow her off, then call her a week later and tell her where and when to meet you. 1PM is a gay time to go out anyways.

 

[Alexander the Great]

Har, har...

If she didn't mean that reply snide and sarcastic, and she'll be at there, at that date, at that time, then... wow... she must be nuts. And desperate.

And so are you if you're taking this seriously. I mean... 1 pm... Monday...

That's no time to get a boner. She's busting your chops. In a nasty fashion. You'll be stood up if you go, if you ask me.

Then again, surprise me

 

[DJDamage]

update

well I finally went out and met her.

A) when I first ran into her she didn't look as good as she did before. She had an average face but luckily her perky t1ts were still there. I guess 8 months can change a chick drastically....

B) When she met me she told me she just got out of class called "gender identification" which was a feminist perspective course. Yikes.... I did lay a joke on her saying that I hope she was not born a dude and that's why she is taking this course.

C) She asks me where are we going and I said we should go to the college bar and she said even though she been in this college for 4 years she never went. Why do you ask? because she DOES NOT DRINK! ( I was thinking wtf, boring!) so I said ok how about I will drink and you order something with no alcohol so she agreed.

D) So anyway we were sitting outside on a patio and having a good conversation for about an hour and half. I carried the conversation pretty much 90% of the time because this chick was boring, even though I made her laugh. I tried early on some kino on her and some IOI which I got but they weren't to my satisfaction. I asked her why did it take her so long to contact me and she said she didn't felt right at the time because she was dating someone therefore she didn't respond and she only found and remember me when she was cleaning out her email box. I did not like that answer.

E) Since she wasn't drinking and it wasn't going anywhere I decided to try to spice things up and asked her to compete against me in a game of pool(drinks+conversation/laughter+kino+game of pool in a bar always worked for me), in which she replied that she doesn't like to play pool. Which was kinda of the last straw.

So anyway we finished our drinks and went through the motions of saying nice meeting you and went our seperate ways.

Good conversation practice is the only thing I got out of it, other then that it was pretty much a waste of time.

 

[betterthandead]

Go for it, the only thing you should be concerned with is whether she'd be a good partner for you. If she's clean and stuff, forget the past for now.

Anyway about 8 months ago I was at the college computer lab trying to print some materials with no success. This chick saw me and offered me her help and I got the impression that she was intereseted in me (strong IOI). Anyway I took her email and I thank her on the email and I also wrote on the email: "What other useful knowledge do you possess that I can incorporate for future use? "

So anyway I never got a response and totally forgot about her. Fast forward 8 months into today and I get this email:



I am a bit curious to what "her excuse" was for replying after 8 months (probably some B.S). I don't even think I should bother with her, because her response is really late.

 

[betterthandead]

I finally saw your update, seems like the both of you have a personality clash, oh well. It was not a waste of time, At least you now know and can move on. There was some mistakes that *you* made, I hope you can notice them and not repeat it.

well I finally went out and met her.

A) when I first ran into her she didn't look as good as she did before. She had an average face but luckily her perky t1ts were still there. I guess 8 months can change a chick drastically....

B) When she met me she told me she just got out of class called "gender identification" which was a feminist perspective course. Yikes.... I did lay a joke on her saying that I hope she was not born a dude and that's why she is taking this course.

C) She asks me where are we going and I said we should go to the college bar and she said even though she been in this college for 4 years she never went. Why do you ask? because she DOES NOT DRINK! ( I was thinking wtf, boring!) so I said ok how about I will drink and you order something with no alcohol so she agreed.

D) So anyway we were sitting outside on a patio and having a good conversation for about an hour and half. I carried the conversation pretty much 90% of the time because this chick was boring, even though I made her laugh. I tried early on some kino on her and some IOI which I got but they weren't to my satisfaction. I asked her why did it take her so long to contact me and she said she didn't felt right at the time because she was dating someone therefore she didn't respond and she only found and remember me when she was cleaning out her email box. I did not like that answer.

E) Since she wasn't drinking and it wasn't going anywhere I decided to try to spice things up and asked her to compete against me in a game of pool(drinks+conversation/laughter+kino+game of pool in a bar always worked for me), in which she replied that she doesn't like to play pool. Which was kinda of the last straw.

So anyway we finished our drinks and went through the motions of saying nice meeting you and went our seperate ways.

Good conversation practice is the only thing I got out of it, other then that it was pretty much a waste of time.