Woman I work with pissed me off at the Holiday party (kinda long)

[LonesomeLoser]

A few weeks ago, I had been talking to a woman I find attractive at work. We had always been friendly with each other, and the Holiday party was coming up so I asked if she wanted to go with me. She sits in the cubicle right in front of me, and we were passing notes to each other to not get the manager's attention. She gave me a note back saying she was just going with her female friend because she doesn't know many people there and she would feel uncomfortable and if it wasn't for her friend going with her she wouldn't go at all. So I passed back another note saying okay, if you don't want to do that, would you like to just go out sometime. She never answered and I just took the hint that she wasn't interested and didn't mention it again.

I have a foot/tickling fetish and really just wanted to get a chance to tickle her feet hopefully on the date - preferrably have sex with her afterward but if not I'd just go home and masturbate all I really wanted was to tickle her feet. Also, I was kind of hoping that she might be my first girlfriend that I've been waiting for my whole life (I'm 35), and give me some validation because I'm very insecure and needy.

So tonight at the holiday party (at a fancy hotel with dancing and stuff), it was a little after 10PM and I ate and didn't win any of the prizes they were raffling off. So I saw no reason to stay any longer. Everyone I talk to at work knows that I'm pretty much a shut-in outside of work, preferring to stay by myself and play video games or go on the internet. Its just common knowledge and we all joke about it at work. Then this woman who didn't respond at all when I asked her out, starts asking me stuff like "wait, you don't drink?? You wanna go out, and you don't drink? I drink and you don't, how would that work?" I just shrugged and said "I dunno" and just kept saying goodnight to people at the table. She asks me "are you going home to play video games?" and I answered honestly "yeah for a little while then I'm going to bed". Her friend says something like "god, you're boring! We gotta liven you up!"

I was getting pissed off because what the FVCK did it matter if I don't drink and she does, when she obviously was never interested in going out anyway, since she never answered when I asked her out?? I just said something like "hey, you're born and you die, nothing in between matters, everything is just filler". She and her friend looked at each other and her friend says something like "now you're depressing me" and they both laughed. I just shrugged and left. I was foolish to even attempt to ask her out because I'm the way I am and have no intention of changing and if I have to change to get a woman well, I've been a virgin for 35 years, so no big deal if I'm a virgin another 35+ I'm a loser and no attractive woman would ever be interested in me, and I guess I choose to be a loser because I don't care enough to change.

It just really pissed me off that she started asking me about "you wanna go out, how would that work?" She didn't want to go out with me because I'm a loser and I'm fat and ugly, IMO. Why bring up the not drinking and playing video games when that's not the real reason?? I give up. If I can afford it someday I'll lose my virginity with a prostitute...that's the only way I'll ever get any and I accept that.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

She might of been testing you or being a dumb wh0re. If she was testing/teasing you. You should of came back with some better answers. You might of been taking some of her questions a little too serious?

Your 35 years old and you said your kind of a quiet guy. You life mainly consists of your job, video games and computer. If that is what makes you happy, that is fine. But, I think you should use your free time more wisely in having hobbies and friends. Like you said you are born and then die at some point. You might aswell enhance your life with more things.

Don't worry about getting laid right away. Work and focus on improving yourself and then, the women will come.

 

[sharkbeat]

You need a social life. Find friends who don't care about what you do. Find some gaming buddies. With all those Xbox live stuff, it's pretty easy to find somebody else to play a game with these days.

Then step up your life, this time, interacting with people outside of your hobby. So you play video games, do you snowboard? Find other activities that you haven't done before. Socialize with the new group. Have fun. Keep expanding your horizon and your life.

Keep repeating this until you have enough understanding of what it is like to interact with a lot of people. Then, look back to this post and you'd realize that she was just being drunk and stupid. You'd also realize that a lot of people would have done the same, it's not just her. You'd also realize that you shouldn't take all of that seriously.

 

[search1ng]

and everything in between is not just 'filler'. It's the fcking journey that defines you, our time, our history, our race. It is our meaning and what makes our existence real.

 

[LonesomeLoser]

She might of been testing you or being a dumb wh0re. If she was testing/teasing you. You should of came back with some better answers. You might of been taking some of her questions a little too serious?

Testing me for what? I asked her out weeks ago and when she didn't respond I just took the hint that she wasn't interested. If she's obviously not interested in me, there's no reason to test me. She didn't know then that I don't drink...she knew like everyone in my department that I really don't do anything outside of work except stay home and play video games, but she didn't know that in particular about me, that I don't drink (I don't think she knew anyway unless she overheard me talking to someone else). Now, at the party all of a sudden, it makes a difference that I don't drink?? What the fvck does my not drinking have to do with anything...weeks later after I asked her out?? This is why I would rather be around other people as little as possible. I don't know what I was thinking trying to ask a woman out, thinking she would have any interest in me the way I am.

 

[Stud No1]

Dude, you're carved yourself a reputation at work for being a boring ass, right?

Then you ask her out and expect her to just say "yes". I mean, the profile you've built for yourself clearly spells "loser". Its up to you to change that, to get out more, mingle with people and generally get a life!

Why would she want you to bring her down to your level? How about you go out there and start MAKING things happen. Ban yourself from video games, only go online for 1 hour in the evening, get a gym membership, maybe read some self-improvement books, buy some new clothes and slowly reinvent yourself. I highly doubt you were born to be a loser, a boring ass. No, you've slowly decayed into that. I see alot of people do this, and its pathetic. Its a rut and it sucks, we've all been in one - you start to feel sorry for yourself. Well, believe me, do what ive told you and within a week you'll feel like a new person!! It just takes action.

Back to the girl; seriously wtf did you expect? She asked you why you didn't drink and how that would have worked because id imagine she was even more amazed at how little social competence you showed. You don't have to drink, but you've clearly fitted the afc, pioneer and no fun boring guy i work with stereotype. Her seeing you leave early reinforced her first instint not to take you up on the date offer, and can you blame her

In fact, you are defeatist in nature. You had given up on her right there and then. You've given up on yourself too, i see. Well, believe it or not, just because she didnt respond right away didn't mean she wouldn't have went out with you. There's a VERY good chance she waited to see how things went at the work party first - she probably was watching to see how you perform, how fun you were outside of work etc. You failed miserably by going home early to play video games and clearly not mixing well. On the other hand if you went out, had an absolute ball (not necessarily drink), tell jokes and come out of your shell she could very well have became attracted to you now, knowing of the interest you showed. Yet, you didn't show any new side, you just showed that you are what she feared - boring.

Wow man, i feel bad for you, but if you can't see its a direct result of your actions then im wasting my time.

Time to chance that attitude buddy. If i were you i'd put her in the friendzone, and get her to help you. Be honest with her and tell her you want to change. Unless of course you really like her, then maybe get some other friends to help you with that change But one things for sure, you HAVE to change. You're living like a loser and that's not a fulfilling life.

When did you begin to settle for not being who you could be? Ask yourself that.

 

[sodbuster]

Start by changing your name and attitude,with a name like lonesome loser; I don't want to hang out with you either. I don't like hanging around people who arent fun to be around. Has nothing to do with your drinking or lack of drinking,gaming or not or anything else you do. You just drip negativity cooties. But you don't want to change? LIKE YOUR LIFE SO FAR? You are either a troll or a dumbass

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Testing me for what? I asked her out weeks ago and when she didn't respond I just took the hint that she wasn't interested. If she's obviously not interested in me, there's no reason to test me. She didn't know then that I don't drink...she knew like everyone in my department that I really don't do anything outside of work except stay home and play video games, but she didn't know that in particular about me, that I don't drink (I don't think she knew anyway unless she overheard me talking to someone else). Now, at the party all of a sudden, it makes a difference that I don't drink?? What the fvck does my not drinking have to do with anything...weeks later after I asked her out?? This is why I would rather be around other people as little as possible. I don't know what I was thinking trying to ask a woman out, thinking she would have any interest in me the way I am.

When, she said something along the lines of... "if you don't drink and I do. How would that work out for us." You could of replied with; "Lets go out sometime and you will find out."

Instead; You were trying to defend yourself in telling her. Why does that matter.

 

[LonesomeLoser]

When, she said something along the lines of... "if you don't drink and I do. How would that work out for us." You could of replied with; "Lets go out sometime and you will find out."

Instead; You were trying to defend yourself in telling her. Why does that matter.

I know, it doesn't matter. Making it sound at the party like I might have had a chance if I was a drinker just pissed me off, because obviously she had already made up her mind weeks ago when I asked her out and she didn't give me an answer yes or no. So I just thought that was that. If women can't come out and say what the mean and mean what they say, if you can't just take what they say at face value...then I'd rather just stick to strippers and (hopefully if I can afford one) prostitutes, where I just show up get what I want and go. No complicated social games to play. I use cheat codes when I play video games; I only like games that are easy.

 

[Stud No1]

I know, it doesn't matter. Making it sound at the party like I might have had a chance if I was a drinker just pissed me off, because obviously she had already made up her mind weeks ago when I asked her out and she didn't give me an answer yes or no. So I just thought that was that. If women can't come out and say what the mean and mean what they say, if you can't just take what they say at face value...then I'd rather just stick to strippers and (hopefully if I can afford one) prostitutes, where I just show up get what I want and go. No complicated social games to play. I use cheat codes when I play video games; I only like games that are easy.

Maybe she didn't say yes or no because she wasn't sure. You showing that you are absolutely no fun made up her mind for her.

You're afraid of working for things, well thats the way of the world. You get what you deserve and with your attitude you'll continue getting the same results.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I know, it doesn't matter. Making it sound at the party like I might have had a chance if I was a drinker just pissed me off, because obviously she had already made up her mind weeks ago when I asked her out and she didn't give me an answer yes or no. So I just thought that was that. If women can't come out and say what the mean and mean what they say, if you can't just take what they say at face value...then I'd rather just stick to strippers and (hopefully if I can afford one) prostitutes, where I just show up get what I want and go. No complicated social games to play. I use cheat codes when I play video games; I only like games that are easy.

That's your problem. You have devolved over 35 years into a lazy time-waster who wants everything in life to be easy. You will never change unless and until you get p!ssed off enough. I truly hope that this little experience is the tiny beginning of a rage building up inside you. You need to come to a point where you simply will not have this anymore.

Tell me something... Why have you become so defeated in life? What's the back story?

 

[KidwithSocks]

That's your problem. You have devolved over 35 years into a lazy time-waster who wants everything in life to be easy. You will never change unless and until you get p!ssed off enough. I truly hope that this little experience is the tiny beginning of a rage building up inside you. You need to come to a point where you simply will not have this anymore.

Tell me something... Why have you become so defeated in life? What's the back story?

Shoot up the office? lol sorry, had to say it.

Start hitting the gym, go out to hang out more, if you feel awkward don't let it show. Just flirt around with the girls till they can't get enough of you, and what this B!tch did was messed up but hey, it's gonna help fuel your goals.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I know, it doesn't matter. Making it sound at the party like I might have had a chance if I was a drinker just pissed me off, because obviously she had already made up her mind weeks ago when I asked her out and she didn't give me an answer yes or no. So I just thought that was that. If women can't come out and say what the mean and mean what they say, if you can't just take what they say at face value...then I'd rather just stick to strippers and (hopefully if I can afford one) prostitutes, where I just show up get what I want and go. No complicated social games to play. I use cheat codes when I play video games; I only like games that are easy.

Unfortunitly... Life is not a video game. You can't put in cheat codes to make your life easier. You gotta work hard for what you want. Taking things the easy way is not always the best.