Woman I’ve crushed on for awhile makes last minute date

[RickPound]

This girl I’ve had my eye on and have flirted online with (lives in another city) hit me up right before the weekend saying she’d be in town and asked if I was around to hang out.
I had another date lined up for Sat. night but told her I could hang during the day. I figured she was just passing through anyway and wasn’t banking on more than just spending the day with her.

Anyway, turns out she didn’t have a place to stay and as the day dragged on I was hoping my other date would flake so I could keep hanging with this one. The original date was texting me updates as she was coming in from out of town too and I couldn’t just cancel on her.

I told the 2nd girl I had friends coming to stay that night and had to send her on her way (an hour before the other girl showed up). If I’d had more notice I could’ve tried to plan better.

She understood (I think) and sent a message the next day saying “glad I got to meet you and I guess it was one of those weekends I shoulda planned more”

I replied “let’s plan something for when you’re back from X. When’s the next weekend you’re free?”

She hasn’t replied and it’s been 2 days. What’s the deal??

 

[SW15]

Stop interacting with women who don't live in your home city.

 

[RickPound]

Fair enough. They’re both from extended social circle that I have status in and get recognized from. Not from OLD

 

[SW15]

They’re both from extended social circle that I have status in and get recognized from. Not from OLD

That's better. Dates arranged from tech-based methods that are not local are really bad ideas.

It's a little bit more understandable why you'd consider something longer distance due to a social circle interaction and your status within the social circle. Even with the social circle connection, longer distance interactions are more complex.

 

[RickPound]

The distance was the main reason I didn’t cancel on the original girl to continue the date with the 2nd. It surely woulda blown up if I cancelled while she was already a few hours into her drive to see me.

I’m more wondering why the girl I sent home hasn’t replied. Did she lose interest because I couldn’t close? Did she sense I had another girl coming and is upset? In my experience if a girl is interested she either loses attraction if the guy doesn’t follow through, or it can grow because it displays I’m not thirsty or may be unsure if I like her.

 

[BeExcellent]

The distance was the main reason I didn’t cancel on the original girl to continue the date with the 2nd. It surely woulda blown up if I cancelled while she was already a few hours into her drive to see me.

I’m more wondering why the girl I sent home hasn’t replied. Did she lose interest because I couldn’t close? Did she sense I had another girl coming and is upset? In my experience if a girl is interested she either loses attraction if the guy doesn’t follow through, or it can grow because it displays I’m not thirsty or may be unsure if I like her.

Much depends on the quality of the interaction y’all had. Don’t worry too much about it. Wait it out. If middle of next week it’s still in your mind see if she’s interested in coming down again.

I find it presumptuous of her to expect to stay over at your place like that. What are we? Instant boyfriend? So keep your eyes open. Could very well be if you have social status that these girls want to claim you and mark you as their territory. Women are terribly competitive, do not forget that.

 

[RickPound]

@BeExcellent The interaction was good quality for a first meet. Took her on an outdoor activity, food after, then a drink in the hot tub back a my place before I had to ask her to leave. It would surprise me if she was expecting escalation that quick.

I actually have to go to her city in 2 weeks for work, so if she doesn’t reach out before that, I’ll hit her up with an offer.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Poor planning. For an “extended” date length you keep to one girl per evening. The multiple date thing you only do for brief meet and greets, such as a first “date” from online.

Always give yourself the opportunity to smash. If date with girl 1 moved towards a bang, you aren’t supposed to cut it short because you have another date lined up. Got to seal the deal…

 

[Slowhandluke]

She hasn't replied because she doesn't really like you that way..

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

When you’re trying to see two gals in a day sometimes you just strike out with both, it’s the cost of the game.

The one that was the sure thing has an emergency or whatever after you scooted the other gal out expecting the other one to arrive.

Happens.

 

[IKO69]

Yes, I'm sorry to say man she should've got back to you by now. Women are on their phone all the time and if she was interested enough she would've confirmed/made plans by now. A couple hours is fine imo b/c of work etc, 2 days is not acceptable.

Always remember it works both ways. If a woman you really liked said let's hang out. Would you put that **** on the backburner? Of course not.

 

[BeExcellent]

@BeExcellent The interaction was good quality for a first meet. Took her on an outdoor activity, food after, then a drink in the hot tub back a my place before I had to ask her to leave. It would surprise me if she was expecting escalation that quick.

I actually have to go to her city in 2 weeks for work, so if she doesn’t reach out before that, I’ll hit her up with an offer.

This is the correct play at this point. It will seem perfectly natural.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Brother you cant be this dense. She was looking for a place to stay.

Stop doin' favors for women without realizing it. She won't give you anything in return. Just steer clear and talk dirty to her, and if she acts weird about it, then you know whats up. If you feel weird about talking dirty to her, you don't have any chemistry with her.. period.

 

[RickPound]

There’s truth in all your messages above. I squeezed girl 2 into my weekend because I wanted a chance with her, but it made for suboptimal logistics and opportunity to see it through.

I’m definitely not discounting low interest, or that she’s not interested “in that way”, but she did reach out to hang one on one so I’m gonna assume she not just looking for a friend or place to stay unless proven otherwise.

Her response times have been variable even before this unless it was time sensitive (like actually making plans this past weekend). In fact, one of the reasons I’m so interested is she isn’t on her phone 24/7 and we talked about how she hates social media. This was practiced when we hung out. She kept her phone in her bag the whole time.

She did reply today…
“Hi! Yeah, I’d love to head back that way soon and wouldn’t hurt to have a little better plans next time around haha. I’m not sure quite yet, maybe something like the middle / end of august.”

A month out doesn’t show a lot of interest, but she doesn’t know yet I’m coming her way sooner. I agree @BeExcellent, I’ll go with that play when I’m a couple days out from heading to her city in 2 weeks.

 

[RickPound]

Social media is the ultimate attention seeking for women, there is no women in this earth who don't have social media, if you were a woman and you know every pic you post will get likes and a bunch of "you're so pretty, cute, beautiful" from thirsty guys that make you feel good, would you quit it?

Majority of woman these days are boring, only have Netflix, work, social media and going out with girlfriends to drink.

This girl seems to have a very healthy relationship with her phone and social media. She’s really hot, but her posts are modest - seldom even of herself. And most other people in them are her brothers and family doing activities. Her parents are still together and she’s away because she’s working with her Dad (he’s a contractor) to make extra money.

 

[RickPound]

My crazy ex went through my phone when I didn’t know it and texted her from my number, among other girls, some **** about STDs and trying to figure out who I’ve been sleeping with.

Pretty sure she sabotaged anything I had going with this one (the one I like the most). I was just about to reach out to her this week as I’m headed to her city for work.

F**cking b*tch!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This girl I’ve had my eye on and have flirted online with (lives in another city) hit me up right before the weekend saying she’d be in town and asked if I was around to hang out.
I had another date lined up for Sat. night but told her I could hang during the day. I figured she was just passing through anyway and wasn’t banking on more than just spending the day with her.

Anyway, turns out she didn’t have a place to stay and as the day dragged on I was hoping my other date would flake so I could keep hanging with this one. The original date was texting me updates as she was coming in from out of town too and I couldn’t just cancel on her.

I told the 2nd girl I had friends coming to stay that night and had to send her on her way (an hour before the other girl showed up). If I’d had more notice I could’ve tried to plan better.

She understood (I think) and sent a message the next day saying “glad I got to meet you and I guess it was one of those weekends I shoulda planned more”

I replied “let’s plan something for when you’re back from X. When’s the next weekend you’re free?”

She hasn’t replied and it’s been 2 days. What’s the deal??

You don't always get a second chance to make something happen. Sometimes you only get one and it didn't work out for you this time.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

My crazy ex went through my phone when I didn’t know it and texted her from my number, among other girls, some **** about STDs and trying to figure out who I’ve been sleeping with.

Pretty sure she sabotaged anything I had going with this one (the one I like the most). I was just about to reach out to her this week as I’m headed to her city for work.

F**cking b*tch!

I dont even ask WHY THE FVCK your crazy ex had access to your phone.

**** like that is why you ALLWAYS keep your phone locked, no mather what your relationship status is.

Whats happening on your phone is NONE OF HER FVCKING BUSINESS, not even if she is your wife and maybe even especially if she is your wife..