Woman has purchased ticket to visit me, but I'm seeing someone

[Snag87]

Did you ever tell her you are unattached and looking for a monogamous relationship?

Not directly, but we met in a singles FB group. I've never mentioned monogamy to her.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Not directly, but we met in a singles FB group. I've never mentioned monogamy to her.

Women assume you are monogamous by default. If you date at all, you should know that. Now, maybe it was foolish of her to assume you are monogamous, but in general, people who are not monogamous mention that when dating (I'm polyamorous, I'm in an open relationship, I'm into Ethical Non-Monogamy, et cetera).

How about her, did she ever mention monogamy or exclusivity?

 

[Snag87]

Women assume you are monogamous by default. If you date at all, you should know that. Now, maybe it was foolish of her to assume you are monogamous, but in general, people who are not monogamous mention that when dating (I'm polyamorous, I'm in an open relationship, I'm into Ethical Non-Monogamy, et cetera).

How about her, did she ever mention monogamy or exclusivity?

No, she hasn't. However, as you stated i suppose it should be assumed unless otherwise mentioned.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

No, she hasn't. However, as you stated i suppose it should be assumed unless otherwise mentioned.

Actually, I wouldn't assume anything, but discuss future relationships anyway. For instance, I'm not going to put time and effort in a woman that wants exclusivity, so I would ask her about her ideas about that.

 

[Ricky]

I remember a period in my life when i could tell a woman i was seeing other women and they liked it.

women like it when they know other women are interested in you. Its the essence of social proof a key concept in Cialdinis Influence book.

 

[Snag87]

I told her I'm seeing someone and she still opted to come after some deliberation.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I told her I'm seeing someone and she still opted to come after some deliberation.

What time is it? Its Threesome time!

 

[manfrombelow]

OP, no woman purchases tickets out of the blue, you guys must have engaged in long deepsh!t sexual conversations way before she did it. Don't fuvcking lie to us.

If it was me, I would repay her effort by showing her around, buying her good meals, and fvcking her brains out before taking her to the airport. That's it. Treat her like a plate.

Fvcking psssy.

 

[Snag87]

OP, no woman purchases tickets out of the blue, you guys must have engaged in long deepsh!t sexual conversations way before she did it. Don't fuvcking lie to us.

If it was me, I would repay her effort by showing her around, buying her good meals, and fvcking her brains out before taking her to the airport. That's it. Treat her like a plate.

Fvcking psssy.

We talk nearly every day but surprisingly no deep sexual conversations.

 

[manfrombelow]

We talk nearly every day but surprisingly no deep sexual conversations.

Do you, or do you not, want to fvck her?

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Do a threesome.

Exactly my thought too!

 

[Snag87]

So she came. We spent the day together and had sex afterwards. She's a lovely woman and I'd say we're compatible lifestyle and personality wise, however, attraction and sexual chemistry is definitely lacking.

So, what to do? I'd say the correct thing is to express my feelings ASAP so not to hurt her.

Furthermore, there are logistical concerns. She booked 6 days here. This was day 1... Am I responsible for providing lodging from a moral perspective if I decide we should continue our relationship platonically or end things all together?

 

[Macadellic]

Be completely truthful and transparent with both women you are currently seeing.

“I’m going to have girl friends if I want, I’m going to do it.”

You get push back, follow up with…

“You are insecure, jealous, possessive and controlling. You need to grow up.”

And walk out in slow motion putting your shades on

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Furthermore, there are logistical concerns. She booked 6 days here. This was day 1... Am I responsible for providing lodging from a moral perspective if I decide we should continue our relationship platonically or end things all together?

Let her sleep on the couch if accommodations are a problem for her. Not in your bed.

 

[Snag87]

Let her sleep on the couch if accommodations are a problem for her. Not in your bed.

I live in my car. Rented an airbnb last night.

 

[Snag87]

I'm going to tell her tonight I don't feel a strong romantic connection, but I like her a lot platonically.

 

[Snag87]

Bro?

Use your money for a place with running water and electricity first, Christ.


SO WHY DID YOU RENT AN AIRBNB??

That was before we had sex. I was on the fence prior and the sex confirmed it.

 

[Snag87]

She's here 6 days and I just booked a hotel room for tonight. She's heading to bed shortly so I'll let her know my feelings tomorrow.

The real question is after I let her know who's morally responsible for providing lodging and transportation the remaining 4 days?

I recall years ago I went to stay with a girl for a week and we decided to end things halfway through and she told me to go kick rocks. I just rented an airbnb for the remainder of my stay.

 

[Snag87]

Dude, she flew out here for YOU and you're about to flake on her, then try getting her to foot the bill for lodging AFTER paying for the flight tickets?

At least be a gentleman and give her some d*ck.

Have I mentioned we've had sex?

 

[Snag87]

As I stated I'm not really interested in her sexually at this point and have another girl in town I can have sex with whenever I'd like.

Is the consensus opinion I should just pay for lodging for the remainder of her stay and maybe spend time with her platonically?