Woman change their behaviour in my presence (10 years after)

[tesla8520]

Hi there!
I would like to discuss which are the factors allow this phenomen to happen.

10 years ago, I fell in that thing everyone of us felt somehow.. called love or "oneitis".
After declaring and get rejected, I never intended to ask again anymore. I was a very good guy..
This lead to improve myself. 10 years after: I built self-esteem, still building up a career, I moved to a personal house myself alone, I've built a dream phisique, I've improved my fashion and looks. I also took a chance to revisit my hobbies and getting more social exposure, because I like being with people, and have fun.

So, I've started to notice strange things to happen.
The womans I knew first, ex-gf, woman friends, woman colleagues, woman in the family, really started to threat me differently, and compliments with me saying that I look good, etc etc.. My old oneitis got married. She has one son, a very nice hard-working husband, a nice family. His husband, happen to be a friend of mine, and we usually hang out or I do get invited for dinner, or to spend some time with him, and it occurs that my oneitis it's present 80% of the time. The thing that shocked me, it's my old oneitis behavior:
She's not only sending me clear ioi's, but She secretly wants me.

This is a very nice representation on what happen in one life.. You may get married to a woman, and give your all 100% in the LTR relationship, and then the result could be this.. I really could not believe on the redpill or how do you call blackpill content, or just on what you do read on the internet, because I thought it to be garbage, but I've experienced this is my life. This is something real.
Why do woman happen to behave in this way?
Is a married woman still searching for the "best" man She can find.. even in his current life situation?
Why all the other woman are changing their behaviour with me, even if I can't really do nothing to their situation?
What could we learn about this?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Men have been shown to vastly overestimate how much random things like this mean in terms of a woman's sexual interest.

Likely this is what is happening here. Your mind has you convinced all this is true. Most likely it is them being friendly.

 

[tesla8520]

Men have been shown to vastly overestimate how much random things like this mean in terms of a woman's sexual interest.

Likely this is what is happening here. Your mind has you convinced all this is true. Most likely it is them being friendly.

I tought It could, but I'm aware of the bandwagon effect. It's not the case. It's 100% not the case.
Not only on the "woman" side of it, but to all things that reflect to my life

 

[Bingo-Player]

Women are expert at picking up on social undertones , most can and will analyse every word you say and if theres even a hint of insecurity , fear or over eagerness you're on a fast track too an uphill battle

I used to think trying to connect with women was a good way to gain interest but actually all you need is for them to connect to you and then pull back or tease her a bit

Modern women have a hard time respecting men because of the sheer volume of attention and interactions they get

the majority are trash encounters where men supplicate or do / say stupid things

so it kinds of jades their perception into thinking all men are desperate

If you do give off that vibe and energy of being self sufficient and not needing a woman you will find they will start circling you because ultimately you are a rare man and she will know that

 

[tesla8520]

If you do give off that vibe and energy of being self sufficient and not needing a woman you will find they will start circling you because ultimately you are a rare man and she will know that

This another thing to add! Yes

I used to think trying to connect with women was a good way to gain interest but actually all you need is for them to connect to you and then pull back or tease her a bit

I wonder how could you work this in a LTR?
It's like the woman will change her behaviour of a "child girl" into a "mature woman", or it's just on the man, that will need to threat her with this intermittent fashion?
Do you have interaction examples for good and bad interactions on a LTR?

 

[The Duke]

Hi there!
I would like to discuss which are the factors allow this phenomen to happen.

10 years ago, I fell in that thing everyone of us felt somehow.. called love or "oneitis".
After declaring and get rejected, I never intended to ask again anymore. I was a very good guy..
This lead to improve myself. 10 years after: I built self-esteem, still building up a career, I moved to a personal house myself alone, I've built a dream phisique, I've improved my fashion and looks. I also took a chance to revisit my hobbies and getting more social exposure, because I like being with people, and have fun.

So, I've started to notice strange things to happen.
The womans I knew first, ex-gf, woman friends, woman colleagues, woman in the family, really started to threat me differently, and compliments with me saying that I look good, etc etc.. My old oneitis got married. She has one son, a very nice hard-working husband, a nice family. His husband, happen to be a friend of mine, and we usually hang out or I do get invited for dinner, or to spend some time with him, and it occurs that my oneitis it's present 80% of the time. The thing that shocked me, it's my old oneitis behavior:
She's not only sending me clear ioi's, but She secretly wants me.

This is a very nice representation on what happen in one life.. You may get married to a woman, and give your all 100% in the LTR relationship, and then the result could be this.. I really could not believe on the redpill or how do you call blackpill content, or just on what you do read on the internet, because I thought it to be garbage, but I've experienced this is my life. This is something real.
Why do woman happen to behave in this way?
Is a married woman still searching for the "best" man She can find.. even in his current life situation?
Why all the other woman are changing their behaviour with me, even if I can't really do nothing to their situation?
What could we learn about this?

The same reason men change their behavior around attractive women. Women are always wanting the best deal, men are always wanting the hottest girl. They are hypergamous.

I've experienced the same thing as I improved my looks, social skills, net worth, etc.
I've had 2 exes from years ago make comments that they see my value is greater than it's ever been.

 

[Michael Chief]

called love or "oneitis".

I just want to clarify that oneitis is NOT love.

Oneitis is an unhealthy obsession where you idealize a woman in your mind without truly knowing her. You can't possibly know her well enough to call it love because you have not been in any situations where she shows you her most intimate and vulnerable sides. All you have is an unrequited fantasy.

Love, on the other hand, can only happen after getting to know someone intimately, after SHARING intimacy both ways.

 

[jhonny9546]

The Power of Personal Atmosphere

Note: This excerpt, condensed from the original, was taken from Masterful Personality by Orison Swett Marden, a book which was published in 1921 and is worth reading in its entirety. “A man is not all included between his hat and boots,” said Walt Whitman. There is something in a man which does...

www.artofmanliness.com

There is an article which discuss the invisible presence.
Have you ever felt someone like in the description?
Which is the underliyng science that can explain this?

 

[Manofrefinedtastes]

Hi there!
I would like to discuss which are the factors allow this phenomen to happen.

10 years ago, I fell in that thing everyone of us felt somehow.. called love or "oneitis".
After declaring and get rejected, I never intended to ask again anymore. I was a very good guy..
This lead to improve myself. 10 years after: I built self-esteem, still building up a career, I moved to a personal house myself alone, I've built a dream phisique, I've improved my fashion and looks. I also took a chance to revisit my hobbies and getting more social exposure, because I like being with people, and have fun.

So, I've started to notice strange things to happen.
The womans I knew first, ex-gf, woman friends, woman colleagues, woman in the family, really started to threat me differently, and compliments with me saying that I look good, etc etc.. My old oneitis got married. She has one son, a very nice hard-working husband, a nice family. His husband, happen to be a friend of mine, and we usually hang out or I do get invited for dinner, or to spend some time with him, and it occurs that my oneitis it's present 80% of the time. The thing that shocked me, it's my old oneitis behavior:
She's not only sending me clear ioi's, but She secretly wants me.

This is a very nice representation on what happen in one life.. You may get married to a woman, and give your all 100% in the LTR relationship, and then the result could be this.. I really could not believe on the redpill or how do you call blackpill content, or just on what you do read on the internet, because I thought it to be garbage, but I've experienced this is my life. This is something real.
Why do woman happen to behave in this way?
Is a married woman still searching for the "best" man She can find.. even in his current life situation?
Why all the other woman are changing their behaviour with me, even if I can't really do nothing to their situation?
What could we learn about this?

She's dissatisfied with her current husband, and keeping you available in case he goes belly up.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

The key is you continue to be who you are either in relationship or not in relationship. If who you are changes based on your relationship status/desire/abundance/lack etc., then you are not solid in yourself and sooner or later that mushyness becomes your downfall.

My husband is solid. He's a jerk sometimes but he's solid in who he is. Is he perfect? No. But he is himself and he has IDGAF in spades, sometimes annoyingly so. But nobody is going to push him around. Not me, not anybody. I respect that a great deal. If you do something nice for a gal or you get into a LTR or get married? It's because YOU decided to make that happen. Nobody manuevered you into it. Women are attracted because women cannot rule such a man, much as they may try to. If she rules you? Its the beginning of the end.

You can always back off the ass hole behavior or the IDGAF attitude if you so choose. It's very difficult for a "nice guy" to dial it up if its not his core nature.

And women can sniff out who you are at your core very quickly.

 

[jhonny9546]

And women can sniff out who you are at your core very quickly.

You are very sure of this and we men would really like to know more.
So can we assume that if a woman in a relationship is with a man, but sees something else in another man, or feels "attracted" to him, has she in some sense responded to something deep inside that she has sniffed? Can't this man be dominated like her current man?

 

[BeExcellent]

You are very sure of this and we men would really like to know more.
So can we assume that if a woman in a relationship is with a man, but sees something else in another man, or feels "attracted" to him, has she in some sense responded to something deep inside that she has sniffed? Can't this man be dominated like her current man?

Your assumption is incorrect. I for example do NOT dominate my husband. Never have. My father was never dominated by a woman either. Loyal women do not accept or act on attractions to other men out of character. If your buddy has a hot girlfriend or wife (who you would bang in a heartbeat if she wasn't with your mate) are you trying to steal her? Or do you simply exclude her from consideration because she belongs to your friend?

Your answer reveals your character. Look. Beautiful women get aproached, whether attached or unattached. The only ones looking to monkey branch are those without character who don't prioritize/value their relationship.

Its kind of like if you have a car you really value & enjoy but you still admire or appreciate other cars. That doesn't mean you are switching cars every other day when you see another one you like; you aren't trying to steal your mate's nicer car either are you?

People with character are married or taken, not blind.

 

[jhonny9546]

People with character are married or taken, not blind.

This is your opinion and I'll tell you mine too: many of them are married or in relationships for "image".
To show others that they too have "made it".

People like us, who instead work hard to get serious relationships, which could be like the one in your case, can stay single for years while dating, until they find a "true" connection with someone.

 

[BeExcellent]

This is your opinion and I'll tell you mine too: many of them are married or in relationships for "image".
To show others that they too have "made it".

People like us, who instead work hard to get serious relationships, which could be like the one in your case, can stay single for years while dating, until they find a "true" connection with someone.

Yes. But you must understand something here. Marriage is a long road. Only an idiot gets or stays married for "image". That would be a very shallow or superficial individual. Marriage is too difficult for such an individual to stick for decades for image. Assertions like this make me laugh & shake my head. Have you been married? Its a whole different level of committment and honestly most couples who I know personally are genuinely together for the right reasons, happy with one another, growing together, respectful of one another and doing well. This is the person you choose for a life partner and then the focus becomes doing life together & building something meaningful.

How can you tell they are happy? It is in how they talk to one another, how they talk about one another, how they prioritize one another, how they raise children, the warmth in how they relate, it is small kindnesses and respect they share.

You seem to think many or most people are in "image" driven marriages. That tells me either you are regurgitating black pill beliefs, or you hang around very shallow image driven people, or you do not know many solid married couples. I do. I know many for many years and very well.

Be careful about becoming jaded based on what you hear but have not experienced yourself. You carry a jaded bias that can affect your own relationships based on assumptions you see here. By all means have your eyes open and understand women. But also understand that a woman is not an inherently evil or manipulative being just because she is female. Most women want to build a life with a man, have a marriage & a family & a meaningful partnership. It is your job (if you also have this desire at some point) to filter and screen for good women who will make a good wife.

Many men desire that. Nothing wrong with that desire.