Witty lines, and turning the tables on a female

[Boricua_33015]

How can I build up natural wit, meaning, that I don't have to refer to overused lines that I got from somewhere else, or just thought of it long time ago. How can I come up with witty things to say ON THE SPOT? How do I look for inspiration on things to say that are witty? How do I turn the tables on a female?

 

[Julian]

I dunno man. Its a hard thing to do. I think you need to have an above average knowledge of everything thats out there. From popular quotes and sayings to just being quick thinking.

 

[Da Game]

I'm not sure how to have a genuine wit, but you can fake it easily by just remembering all the good lines you hear in other places.

 

[Cloud-uk]

**** that. Being witty is a skill. Its something you can learn, but its a hard thing to do. Tell ya what, if your serious about this, I'll try and teach you, and if it works, I'll post it all up as a guide to developing wit. PM me if you want to put in some serious effort.

 

[atlas]

A sharp wit is an extremely desirable commodity for a DJ. I can't imagine how to train this muscle, except with life's experience. This is what makes it so precious.

Cloud, if you know some shortcuts to this arduous route, please share your advice with this forum. We'll be eternally grateful for it.

 

[Boricua_33015]

Like atlas said I really can't imagine any other way to develop wit without any experience.

From dictionary.com:

The ability to perceive and express in an ingeniously humorous manner the relationship between seemingly incongruous or disparate things.

Usage: Wit, Humor. Wit primarily meant mind; and now denotes the power of seizing on some thought or occurrence, and, by a sudden turn, presenting it under aspects wholly new and unexpected -- apparently natural and admissible, if not perfectly just, and bearing on the subject, or the parties concerned, with a laughable keenness and force. ``What I want,'' said a pompous orator, aiming at his antagonist, ``is common sense.'' ``Exactly!'' was the whispered reply. The pleasure we find in wit arises from the ingenuity of the turn, the sudden surprise it brings, and the patness of its application to the case, in the new and ludicrous relations thus flashed upon the view. Humor is a quality more congenial to the English mind than wit. It consists primarily in taking up the peculiarities of a humorist (or eccentric person) and drawing them out, as Addison did those of Sir Roger de Coverley, so that we enjoy a hearty, good-natured laugh at his unconscious manifestation of whims and oddities. From this original sense the term has been widened to embrace other sources of kindly mirth of the same general character. In a well-known caricature of English reserve, an Oxford student is represented as standing on the brink of a river, greatly agitated at the sight of a drowning man before him, and crying out, ``O that I had been introduced to this gentleman, that I might save his life! The, ``Silent Woman'' of Ben Jonson is one of the most humorous productions, in the original sense of the term, which we have in our language.


I have very little wit, if any. I don't have much experience with social situations.

In the book The Mind Accelerator, which I received about a week ago, with the Infinity Mind System, and the Infinity Reading system combined together yuo will develop incredible wit.

I just finished reading the Infinity Mind system section but, to perfect it takes practice and beleif.

Cloud-UK I appreciate your helping me with this. But I think if you know what to write about, in a guide, on how to train your wit, you should post it up on here.

Check your PMs.

 

[seloifter]

there are several important keys to being witty

the first is the power of observation. In order to say something witty, you have to be very aware and observant of things going around you.
the second is a good grasp on vocabulary. Most witticisms come from puns. The perfect word is crucial.

Example (this one's pretty damn old), I was in french class (all the way back in HS), and there's this girl whose parents were french, so she spoke natively (the class was basically an easy A for her). One day, she brought like a whole bag full of food to class. She was just eating away adn away. I said to her "boy, French class is just a picnic for you isn't it?" (based on both the fact that it was easy for her, and she was eating like at a picnic). Not extraodinary, but clever nonetheless. What is clever about it is that it has a double meaning. I could have said "boy, french class is so easy for you that you can spend your time eating", which would have had the same meaning, but isn't witty in any way.
Anyway, I digress.

There are two ways to sharpen your wit:
One, learn from others. I always say the wittiest person you will find is Oscar Wilde..... check out some of his plays/writings for genuine wit (although some of it might go over your head because it applies to late-19th centery Brittish culture). Watch stand-up comedy (Jewish comedians are the best for wit). Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Feldman come to mind. Hell, you can even learn from witty friends.
Two, learn from experience. The best way to learn is to practice. But, practice is nothing without refinement. You have to observe what works, and what doesn't. And adjust accordingly. This is a process which takes many years; but in the end, results in a sense of humor that is priceless........

oy, I've written about this stuff so many times I'm beginning to bore myself with it....

 

[Cloud-uk]

I'm gonna do a big thing on wit, as it seems a lot of you want to learn. I think it takes a bit more than just observation, and if you want to be really witty you have to understand the mechanics of humor. Its as with all things, learn how it works, put it into practice, make it second nature.

 

[Captain Anonymous]

First of all, to be witty, you must be comfortable in a situation. If you are uncomfortable in a situation, then you're mind is too occupied with how you must look to others to truly think about what is being said.

Try being witty around your family. You should (hopefully!!) be fully comfortable with them, just say what comes first into your head.

 

[ROCK DRUMMER]

watch shows on Comedy central that feature witty comedians, such as, "Late Night w/ Conan O'Brian," "Insomniac," "Tough Crowd," etc. Try to keep your mind as level as possible, and view everything with a grain of salt. Eventually you'll get it.

 

[Ded_Skin_Mask13]

I can't exactly explain how to be witty, I've been around a bunch of witty motherf*ckers all my life, so I sort of developed that sh*t at a young age. Especially from watching Jim Carrey movies when I was in 3rd grade, I loved Jim Carrey movies.


Umm, for example. You see someone who you know that walks by and forgets to say hi, or whatever, when they make eye contact with you say something along the lines of "Oh so you aren't gonna say hi to me eh?!" in a somewhat playful manner.

One of my best friend's fathers(R.I.P) was one of the ****iest, wittiest person I've EVER met. This guy had something to say about everything and anything. He would always get me on some of the comments or questions he would make.

He would ask sometimes.."Do you want some of __" or "Would you like any more of __" and most people including me will say "No thanks I'm good" "I'm alright, no thanks" or whatever, but then he would counter it by saying "I didn't ask if you were good/alright, I asked you if you wanted some more" It might be jerk-type of sh*t to some, but it really gets you thinkin' when someone does these things, they're very nice and amiable people, but they're big jokers and have something smart to give something normal a twist.

Take a trip to the southern U.S. you'll meet a lot of witty people.