Witty and Calm

[HollowHorizon]

I have read somplace on this web site that the best way of any social conversation with a women would to be being witty and calm, for the most part i am calm, But very dull and lack of motivation for conversation. Does this mean i am not witty? What does it even mean... I am obvoiusly going no where like this, I am trieng to change.....

Any Bright Ideas???

 

[Paranoid]

Well, if you want to be witty, you have to be witty all the time, with all kinds of people at times when the oppurtunity is ripe.
Acting in a different manner than you usually do should not be tried unless you can assimilate the change that you are trying to incorporate into your life to a great extent.

First off, are you naturally witty but get tongue-tied in front of girls?
Or are you not able to liven up conversations even with your mates?

If its the first case, then I would have to say that you are lacking a bit of confidence at interjecting witty remarks because you are afraid of what the girl might think!!!

To overcome this problem, you should try to improve your confidence levels.A good way to start off is by going through Mr.Finger's post on "Authentic confidence" .Reading the post is the easy part, implmenting it would be tough.And do not expect results overnight.It will be a slow change which you shall notice as the time goes on.

If its the latter, then you would have to bring about a radical change in your mindset.Start listening to stand-up comedy.Or if any of your friends are witty by default, you could observe how and when they slip in the repartee.

Before trying to use witty lines with a girl you are quite interested in, try to incorporate the changes in such a way that you become witty by default.Start off by being witty with your friends and family and see how it works out.If you need to oil your machinary a bit more, then spend more time on it before you become a full-fledged "Witty" Allen.

Good luck....

 

[HollowHorizon]

Good Idea

 

[HollowHorizon]

Alright i know this is an old post but would appreciate more ideas on this subject Thanks

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Describe the present context in a manner that is similar to the truth but much more ridiculous. Gently make fun of people and their mannerisms in this way. "Dayum, her a$$ takes up two city blocks!" Mimic girls when they talk but exaggerate your imitation so it's all valley girl style. "Like, oh mah GAWD! "

Similarily, make people out to be doing something that they're really not. A girl says she is so hot (after dancing), say "don't try to compliment yourself." A girl starts bragging about something. Say "I know being in my presence can be pretty intimidating, but you don't have to lie to hang out with me." And wink.

Look for irony in every situation. Gently point out peoples' inconsistencies in a joking manner and exaggerate them. She's talking about preserving the environment in a self-righteous manner but she drives an SUV. "So you're a hippy...but you drive a monster truck? What's up with THAT?! I'm thinking you're a hippy poser" and grin. OR "Yeah, I agree. I totally want to maintain a pristine eco-system to drive MY SUV around in."

 

[Smoothflow]

Read my self affirmation post on the Don juan techniques, Then Affirm yourself " I am very very clever and witty" trust me it works.

 

[Don Ronny]

Here is an idea!

Instead of trusting "some article" here on what works best, how about you actually TRY things for yourself to see what works for you?

*sigh* keyboard jockeys

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by AlwaysExcel
Describe the present context in a manner that is similar to the truth but much more ridiculous. Gently make fun of people and their mannerisms in this way. "Dayum, her a$$ takes up two city blocks!" Mimic girls when they talk but exaggerate your imitation so it's all valley girl style. "Like, oh mah GAWD! "

Similarily, make people out to be doing something that they're really not. A girl says she is so hot (after dancing), say "don't try to compliment yourself." A girl starts bragging about something. Say "I know being in my presence can be pretty intimidating, but you don't have to lie to hang out with me." And wink.

Look for irony in every situation. Gently point out peoples' inconsistencies in a joking manner and exaggerate them. She's talking about preserving the environment in a self-righteous manner but she drives an SUV. "So you're a hippy...but you drive a monster truck? What's up with THAT?! I'm thinking you're a hippy poser" and grin. OR "Yeah, I agree. I totally want to maintain a pristine eco-system to drive MY SUV around in."

the examples you gave are actually more C&F. cause it's almost similar to a neg-hit

 

[HollowHorizon]

Im getting much better at this i hope i can ride it out becuse if i don't shurley i will lose it in a instance

 

[AlwaysExcel]

ScrewIt, you're right. HH was asking about humor so he could use it in a dating situation. My examples were C&F because they were directed at a girl and some of them were framed like she was trying to impress me.

The humor in being ****y comes from describing her as doing something that she is not, exaggerating what she is doing, and/or exaggerating/emphasizing your own importance. The ****y part of being humorous comes from daring to say something that could offend the girl.

How different is general humor from C&F though? General wittiness is still ****y because it borders on the edge of offending people (those with a stake in what you're making fun of). Unless, of course, you focus the humor on yourself ie. self-depreciating humor. General wittiness also focuses on more people and contexts than you or the girl. But the principles are the same. Humor is all about creating ridiculous situations, either mental or actual.

 

[ScrewIt]

Yea that's a good definition of C&F. I have a good understanding of C&F...but witty?

well hm...now that i've actually pointed out a C&F line....i just realized i rarely do C&F. What i tend to do more often around girls is witty....MY GOD NOOOOOOOOOO!!! i need to practice some more C&F so it become a part of me.

for example where i work, i have 2 bosses that gotta decide between either AD 1 or AD 2 for publishing.

I showed boss 1 both Ads, he liked AD1, i showed boss 2 both ADS, he liked AD2. I agree as i like AD1 as well. then i say "are you sure? cause James likes AD1?" "well i guess you and James(boss 1) are gonna have to duel it out." Boss 2 "well we'll have to see about that."

another time, boss2 got a soda from under the table, i didnt even know they brought in a whole pack. then i said "hm..where'd you get that? a hidden stash?" him, "no it's under the table."

yea it's fun at work sometimes, boss1 is more serious and busy, while boss2 has more free time, so we throw witty lines at each other occasionally...it's actually good practice to better your wit.

my female friend, she's eating food, and coughing. me "hey, you choking?" here let me help you, then i slap her back.

I really wonder which girls like better from a guy, Witty or C&F??

 

[AFK Protector]

Yeah, slap her back a few times and start giving some mouth to mouth.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Ah, I see what you're saying ScrewIt! In my terms, witty would be simply creating a ridiculous situation (creating the mental picture of your bosses actually dueling) while C&F would be a more specific application of this general humor. C&F is creating a ridiculous situation that either frames someone in a slightly more negative light or puts you in a slightly more positive light or both. I think general wittiness is always a safe bet in any situation. C&F is more flirtatious but also easier to overdo or offend someone.

Not that any of this really matters. We've strayed from HH's original question. I've just never analyzed humor before. Thanks for stimulating me to do so!

 

[ScrewIt]

AlwaysExcel, you're right, C&F can be overdone sometimes. that's why tthere are times where you must know where to draw the line. and the extent of the humor/harm. yea it is more flirtatious and makes you seem a little jerk-like sometimes, but it's all good!

damnit the lines i use w/chicks are witty & not C&F. wtf!
if it werent for this post, i wouldnt have the chance to analyze true C&F

 

[duke007]

ScrewIt don't worry, witty is still really valuable.
I've been on a roll lately with this one girl who is easy to flirt with.

I can't tell if all this is C+F or neghits or witty, or whatever, but I know it works.

Eg1 (in a focus group discussion)
Interviewer: Would you ever give out your PIN number?
Me: Never.
Interviewer: Are you sure about never?
Me: Definitely
Girl: What about if you had a girlfriend for 4 years?
Me: Nah-uh
Girl: What if you were tired and relaxing at the pub and she needed your card to buy you a beer?
Me: She can pay!

* laughs all around, damn it was laid out for me though!

Eg2 (in cafe, I'm purchasing chewing gum after seminar lunch)
Me: Damn onion sandwiches
Girl: Yeah, I had curried egg
Me: I purposely avoided that
Girl: (exhales to test)
Me: Haawww! I smelt that one!
Girl: *hits me twice*

Later in class:
Me: *Offers girl chewing gum*
Girl: I need it, don't I?
Me: *****y smile and nod*
Girl: *hits arm again*

Eg 3
Girl: It took me AGES to read this article, and then even longer to write notes on it!
Me: So in other words you're a bit slow? *****y smile
Her: Yeah, I'm slow at reading, writing, everything.
Me: I'm guessing that includes driving

Eg 4 (after showing her how to print an acrobat doc)
Girl: Thanks for that, you're so intelligent!
Me: Intelligent AND charming!


I think the common theme here is I'm not saying too much. That makes me appear calm and witty. I think the value of C+F disappears with the more you say.

 

[Billy Bob]

Bro, the best way to start off a conversation is to just insult the B I T C H first thing. trust me.

you'll probably get some anal action because of my advice.