Withdrawing attention

[DarkKnight100]

Seeing a 21 year old chick (i’m 36) i started off a bit keen and realised she playing hard to get so pulled back and mirrored her. We’ve met and had sex 4 times over around 2.5 months.

She openly admitted to me that she is holding back because she doesn't want to get hurt . I withdrew attention recently and she got mad that I travelled without telling her and went to a club/dinner with another girl. She asked me to make it up to her so I bought her a single rose, took her to dinner and took her back to mine for a massage (and pounding).

Currently staying in an apartment near hers and so told her “let me know when you’re free to come over”. She ignored it and said “why don’t you talk to me”. I ignored it and next morning she left a chocolate bar with a note saying “good morning baby” on it. I said thanks then withdrew my attention as found out instead of coming over to mine she going to a party with a friend. When I withdrew attention I could see it affect her. Normally people hang out in the foyer and we talk. She kinda went into 1 corner alone and had a bit of a face on.

Am I doing the right thing by withdrawing attention?And what does it mean that she goes off into a corner and kinda sulks? And how should I react?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It sounds like you are playing silly games. You are 36 and you should be leading her and the interactions. I don't see any of that happening which is why she is likely acting the way she is.

 

[Michael Chief]

What is it that you want with her?

 

[Bingo-Player]

I did something similar with a 23 y/o in my gym

There was chemistry and a connection but went in way too hard too fast and she knew she had me where she wanted me so the games began

was an uphill battle from there I did mange too recover it slightly and we had a date but once a woman knows your really into her especially when they are young they tend to take it for granted

dont forget women are used to having men falling over themselves from a very young age

In the end I just completely cut all contact because it was taking up too much mental energy

I dont acknowledge her existence in the gym anymore and I know she doesn't like it but I don't really care

 

[DarkKnight100]

It sounds like you are playing silly games. You are 36 and you should be leading her and the interactions. I don't see any of that happening which is why she is likely acting the way she is.

Isn’t it just naive to not play games? The whole thing is a game just can’t come across as games but rather that you’re busy/aloof. You’re probably right that at times it may come across as a game and there’s an art in playing a game but not so obviously that I’m still learning how to get right.

 

[DarkKnight100]

What is it that you want with her?

Good question honestly not 100% sure but i guess a relationship which is more regular in meet ups/contact.

 

[DarkKnight100]

Saw her in the morning on the way to work she has responded to my withdrawal by withdrawing herself and being in the corner in a little mood lol.

I’m still acting like she doesn't exist and not sure if I should end it and pull her in or wait it out for her to come to me?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Isn’t it just naive to not play games? The whole thing is a game just can’t come across as games but rather that you’re busy/aloof. You’re probably right that at times it may come across as a game and there’s an art in playing a game but not so obviously that I’m still learning how to get right.

Men don't play games. See, there is a difference in mindset and frame when you intentionally are waiting to text a woman back versus naturally being busy where you might not see or respond to a message for several hours. Same goes for any of these other "games" you may want to play.

Women do these far better then men and see thru our attempts. You aren't fooling her.

Be busy living your life and you'll naturally keep them off balance and won't have any need to play games.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Saw her in the morning on the way to work she has responded to my withdrawal by withdrawing herself and being in the corner in a little mood lol.

I’m still acting like she doesn't exist and not sure if I should end it and pull her in or wait it out for her to come to me?

I say this with the intention of helpfulness, but you sound like a ****ing moron if you're really a 36 year old playing games like this with a 21 year old. Da ****?

 

[DarkKnight100]

Men don't play games. See, there is a difference in mindset and frame when you intentionally are waiting to text a woman back versus naturally being busy where you might not see or respond to a message for several hours. Same goes for any of these other "games" you may want to play.

Women do these far better then men and see thru our attempts. You aren't fooling her.

Be busy living your life and you'll naturally keep them off balance and won't have any need to play games.

Very true and girls radar to sense the game is real. But we’re not dumb too. I run 3 businesses across 3 countries it involves being on my phone kinda 24/7. I know for a fact I’m busier than her. And the truth is girls check their phone every 2 minutes. So whether its games or not the point is I’m not gonna respond in 10 minutes if she takes 2 hours and I’m not gonna smother her with attention if her behaviour say she’s not ready for that.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Very true and girls radar to sense the game is real. But we’re not dumb too. I run 3 businesses across 3 countries it involves being on my phone kinda 24/7. I know for a fact I’m busier than her. And the truth is girls check their phone every 2 minutes. So whether its games or not the point is I’m not gonna respond in 10 minutes if she takes 2 hours and I’m not gonna smother her with attention if her behaviour say she’s not ready for that.

In this case you aren't picking up on what she is telling you.

"Why don't you talk to me" = "I am not interested in being treated as if I am a wh0re to be used only for sex".

No woman wants to feel like a wh0re. You are making her feel like a wh0re by the way you seemingly only talk to when you want her to come by to fvck.

 

[Dr.Suave]

She is gonna push for exclusivity sooner rather than later.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Am I doing the right thing by withdrawing attention?And what does it mean that she goes off into a corner and kinda sulks? And how should I react?

She doesn't feel safe with you.

 

[DarkKnight100]

She doesn't feel safe with you.

Interesting this. Aren’t women more attracted to men who they are uncertain about how they feel? If I text her all day, give her loads of attention, tell her lots of sweet things she will be safe and pull away. Why should I make her feel safe when we’re not in a relationship?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Interesting this. Aren’t women more attracted to men who they are uncertain about how they feel? If I text her all day, give her loads of attention, tell her lots of sweet things she will be safe and pull away. Why should I make her feel safe when we’re not in a relationship?

There are different types of safety. Not every woman needs the same things to feel safe.

 

[Divorced w 3]

There are different types of safety. Not every woman needs the same things to feel safe.

Bingo.
Feeling safe as in, at the end of the day you’re a man who is going to be strong but not abuse and fvck around with her. There’s a difference between being high SMV and manufacturing a facade. It really is easy to see outside looking in. He can’t fake the non verbal cues and that’s likely what’s going to trip him up.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Interesting this. Aren’t women more attracted to men who they are uncertain about how they feel? If I text her all day, give her loads of attention, tell her lots of sweet things she will be safe and pull away. Why should I make her feel safe when we’re not in a relationship?

It’s easy for all of us to say because we’re not the ones emotionally attached …. But you have become quite infatuated with this woman while lacking the confidence to proceed properly

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Feeling safe as in, at the end of the day you’re a man who is going to be strong but gentle with her.

Or you will be safe to whip her body but leave no permanent marks.
Or you'll be safe to use her like a toy but not slut-shame her.
Or you'll be safe to tie her up but untie her the moment she uses the safe word.

I can easily mention more scenarios but it comes down to consensual acts of intimacy that you'll both agree on so you can let loose without restraint or regret.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Or you will be safe to whip her body but leave no permanent marks.
Or you'll be safe to use her like a toy but not slut-shame her.
Or you'll be safe to tie her up but untie her the moment she uses the safe word.

I can easily mention more scenarios but it comes down to consensual acts of intimacy that you'll both agree on so you can let loose without restraint or regret.

The best way to put it.