I thought I ressurect this post for one final thing. That is using wit as an offencive or defencive measure. Although this is tagged on at the end, and I sort of passed over the subject, I feel I must do add it, for completeness. Boricua sounds like he needs this:
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:
Comebacks and Insults
I feel this must be done. The fact is there are *******s around, and these arseholes are deliciously concerned with what others think of them. This is wit used in a way that is designed to hurt others. Hey, if fighting is ok, so is this.
Baicly, you've got to read up on everything else in this post. Print it out and learn it. Practice making jokes. Become funny. Become quick. Then we can work on this.
Strictly speaking insults are actually wit. They are one and the same. All you are changing is the effect, instead of a statement making others laugh, you are trying to make them feel bad. This may be by making others laugh at them, but the point remains the same, as shown here:
You----(insult)-->SUBJECT(+OTHERS)=You+SUBJECT with elicted emotions (+ OTHERS with elicted emotions)
That's all insults do, elict emotions in the subject. You are trying to make them feel insecure, stupid, angry, sad, something NEGATIVE. This can be accentuated by having others around as a sort of catalyst. This is what an insult is.
Now, allyou are doing is exactly what you are doing before, using the enviroment and getting something out of your mouth quick and with good delivery.
However, when it comes to insults, there are some very important point you must bear in mind.
Firstly, your perception is only of the subject. Try to imagine him (or her I guess) as a set of targets. Now, if you want to give a good insult, you have to hit a chord. People have a lot of chords, weight, ginger hair, if their face is a bit odd, monobrows, arrogance. ANYONE will have something you can use.
Now, you also want to make it applicable to the group you are in. A ginger joke against a ginger ******* with all your ginger mates around will bomb. So don't be a prat. We're not just talking about appearence either, their past is always a good one to dig up. Play dirty.
On the subject of the group, it will be harder to make an impact if you are alone with just a group of his mates. If its half and half its much easier, if its just yours you can say pretty much whatever you want.
Now, you also have to be calm. Its a pretty hard situation, kinda intense, and that can make your thinking time longer, and screw up your delivery. Think about that.
Now, when it comes to comebacks and insults, it also pays to deliver it in a certain style. Someone says..."nice **** loser, how much that cost you? 50 cents?" something like "yeah, about the same as prime time with your mum" usually works. By the way dragging their mum in is always good fun. But you see- that is different to "nice shirt loser, how much that cost you? 50 cents?""Nah, and your mum is a cheep *****". Which one do you think is more witty. You don't actually call anyone poor, stupid, ugly etc, but you strongly imply it.
This is one of the main things people do wrong with insults and comebacks. You are NOT calling someone names. You are making a malicious observation.
Now, this too takes time, but after a while you begin to associate things they say with things to say- obviously making comebacks a lot easier. As was the case above, you ca usually twist something about money into calling a memebr of their family a prostitute. You can turn them calling you gay into them asking you out. You can twist them calling you ugly into "your girlfreind doesn't think so". Just think about it, if they do dance lessons and they call you a *****, have a ****ing field day.
One last thing, there are somethings that are derogatory what ever. If you really cant think of something to say to some ******* who thinks he's it, sometimes a simple "who are you?" is good enough, especially after they stream off a whole page of insults at you. As is just turing to someone else, shaking your head and saying "poor player hater...". You really just have to be able to link stuff across.
I hope this helps some of you in getting one back on those that try to get one up on you. It isn't in your best interests to just go arround insulting people though, and your best interests is what its all about.
