wished girls would be more assertive

[joe45]

i don;t now why as a guy we have to do everything, take the inititave to talk to the girl, wonder if she is intrested, and if she is ask her out and we might even get rejection and face embarassment. i mean as a guy i have to do a lot of work. all the girl has to do is give the guy a couple of glances to show she is interested and thats it oh ya and dress up and look nice-makeup, nice clothes.

i think its a lot of work especially if ur a shy guy like myself. it helps a lot when u have a girl who likes knows she likes a guy and ask him out and initiate. i myself have had girls looks at me, check me out but never once did i have a girl ask me out or even flirt -that be the case at 24 asian guy i never had a gf or dated b/c of my shyness and quiteness. tell u the truth i probably missed like 5 chances in HS and college combined just due to cluelessness of the signs girls give out(always looking at me, sayin hello, give me pat on the lap,) and not nowing what to do, shyness, quietness- i mean if the gal had found me attractive -why didn't she ask me out or initiate.
these days i have changed- i have a freind who is a girl now, i am also talkin-well small talk to girls as before when i was in HS and in my very earlt 20's i wouldn't even go up and talk to a girl, all i have to do now is ask for a gal's numberwhich i have done ,and ask her out which i haven't had a date yet.
i did go out with a gal from one of my classes ,but wasn't attracted to her at all-more like a friend date and practice wise for myself.
i can tell u this its sooo frustrating. tell u the truth i don't even now where i going to find my future wife or gf -ppl say school but it happening it for me now. i really wish girl were more assertive in getting a guy they liked

 

[Eyes_Of_Fire]

Originally posted by joe45
i don;t now why as a guy we have to do everything, take the inititave to talk to the girl, wonder if she is intrested, and if she is ask her out and we might even get rejection and face embarassment. i mean as a guy i have to do a lot of work. all the girl has to do is give the guy a couple of glances to show she is interested and thats it oh ya and dress up and look nice-makeup, nice clothes.

...

i can tell u this its sooo frustrating. tell u the truth i don't even now where i going to find my future wife or gf -ppl say school but it happening it for me now. i really wish girl were more assertive in getting a guy they liked

WAKE THE FVCK UP!!! STOP VOMMITING ALL OVER THE BOARD!!!

You are sounding like an AFC and if you don't get your act together, chances are you'll remain one.

At least you are getting numbers, thats a start. But stop whining about how you are just "too shy" and do something about it. If you are shy, there is probably a fear. What's the fear? Fear of rejection? Talking to people? Afraid they won't like you? You are going to have to confront your fears and that means openly engaging anyone and everyone. That means you WILL get rejected. You WILL find out who you are and then you are going to be YOURSELF. That means you can't please everyone so you WILL meet people that just flat out don't like you. Are you gonna let some A$$HOLE have power over YOUR life just because you're afraid he/she doesn't/won't like you? GROW A PAIR and get your a$$ into the field and start talking to people.
And stop worrying about getting married, haven't you learned ANYTHING?

Eyes_Of_Fire

 

[So pimp its scary]

He beat me to it.

The thing you gotta realize is that the guys HAVE to do all the approaching, but the women are nice... they give you signals of when to approach and everything... you just gotta not say anything stupid.

At the bars, I've seen guys with girls that were gonna give it up that night and they took the girls numbers and walked away. Most of the time you see the clueless guys doing most of the approaching, it's really funny sometimes, you notice it best when the clubs are half-full.

 

[darth yoda]

Guys do most of the approaching, it's almost like a law of nature, accept it. Accept it quickly and get busy.

 

[Tazman]

Yes, you must accept it. Women who give me signals won't even initiate a simple hello, unless they feel they have an excuse to talk to me. Some will even smile, but that's it, most times you won't get anything more unless you're in a club/bar type setting, even then there are no gaurantees.

It's usless to even think about it because it isn't going to change in your lifetime. In fact, I almost like it because it makes me feel more "manly" to have the guts to initiate a conversation with them. I enjoy watching them try so hard to look natural when they give you subtle hints, it can be very amusing to watch sometimes, especially when they're clearly nervous.

 

[Black_Italian]

If women were more assertive they would rule the world. Then this would be a terrible place to live.

If women were more assertive there would be female Ninjas in my group and that would be even more terrible.

Females should never become Ninjas NEVER!!

 

[JonJack]

Guys don't have to approach girls. It's just that most guys regret not approaching girls. Which means that they should have approached the girls.

Maybe girls too feel regret when the guy doesn't initiate and they didn't inititate. But you won't be able to know that.

So best bet is to avoid regret and just approach. Don't assume she finds you interesting enough to approach you. Don't wait for her to approach you. Just do it and get it over with. Put yourself out of your misery.

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

Its the law of supply and demand. While technically there is a 50/50 ratio of girls to guys in the world (or close to it) there is also a finite amount of good looking girls (lets say 7+'s).

Girls know that if they don't do anything at all - and they are good looking - guys who have balls will come up to them and request to have relations with them. They will then decide which guy of the many who do have balls (which is a great trait as it shows a man is able to play the security role in her life) she will pick to be with.

You will, however, notice that ugly girls DO pursue guys they like. I have seen it many, many times where ugly girls at school or work would act essentially like AFCs towards guys they wanted. They HAVE to work on getting guys because guys don't come to them naturally.

Good looking girls, or decent looking girls, have the luxury of knowing they have to do nothing but look pretty to get a ton of REAL MEN with equally good looks. Why should they work hard on getting a guy they like if that work can be done for them? It wouldn't make sense.

Would you take out the garbage if someone else would do it for you? Probably not.

 

[strong like bull]

man should keep the pants where they belong - on HIM.

you dont have to do everything. that is a misconception. as a man, all you have to do is LEAD. LEAD THE WOMAN TO WHERE SHE NEEDS TO BE. if a girl digs your style, she is MORE THAN WILLING to give her number, hang out, etc. if she REALLY likes you, she could even be DYING for you to talk to her. shes DYING to be lead. all youve got to do is nudge her in the right direction,

"you know what? we need to hang out sometime. let me have your number/lets exchange numbers."

IF SHES ATTRACTED TO YOU, its the same for everything else. once youve got her on the phone, again, shes dying to be lead to the next step. all you really need is a,

"its been so gorgeous out lately. i was going to go for a late night swim in my pool and have a couple drinks. you should come over and join me."

it doesnt stop there.

after that, lead her to the first kiss. first makeout. first sex. etc.

-SLB

 

[Cheat_LBJ]

Originally posted by So pimp its scary

The thing you gotta realize is that the guys HAVE to do all the approaching, but the women are nice... they give you signals of when to approach and everything... you just gotta not say anything stupid.

So, to keep the conversation going and to help out this guy (and some of us who routinely fail when out picking girls up): what are some signs of interest you look for before going up to a girl?

 

[JonJack]

I just realized that this thread is pointless. The title says it all. "Wished girls would be more assertive". I don't think joe45 is looking for an answer. I think it is more whining than anything else. It's like going around telling people that you wish you could win the lottery just once or that you wish that poverty was eliminited. Basically it means that he thinks that life would be much better if things would to go the way he would like it to go.

 

[bbestar]

Hey bud, I completely understand what your goin through.. Cause im also asian and I can Tell you... looking back... IVE Missed alot of oppurtunites with women..

Anyway... You got to change the way you think..

Im goin to borrow a bible verse, if you don't like it... I don't care cause im not an afc anymore.. i hope

Take it face value...
Romans chapter 12: verse 1-2

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.

Even the bible that was written 2 thousand of years ago.. knows the nature of man.. and the solution.

what do you notice about this person with glasses..
-perfect posture
-well built muscle
-ironed clothes
-sharp clothing
-authoritative
-does not let anyone change his mind
-feels comfortable being better than everyone

 

[Mojo604]

This guy hasnt learned shyt from sosuave

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Re: wished girls would be more assertive

Originally posted by Eyes_Of_Fire
WAKE THE FVCK UP!!! STOP VOMMITING ALL OVER THE BOARD!!!

You are sounding like an AFC and if you don't get your act together, chances are you'll remain one.

At least you are getting numbers, thats a start. But stop whining about how you are just "too shy" and do something about it. If you are shy, there is probably a fear. What's the fear? Fear of rejection? Talking to people? Afraid they won't like you? You are going to have to confront your fears and that means openly engaging anyone and everyone. That means you WILL get rejected. You WILL find out who you are and then you are going to be YOURSELF. That means you can't please everyone so you WILL meet people that just flat out don't like you. Are you gonna let some A$$HOLE have power over YOUR life just because you're afraid he/she doesn't/won't like you? GROW A PAIR and get your a$$ into the field and start talking to people.
And stop worrying about getting married, haven't you learned ANYTHING?

Eyes_Of_Fire

:kick: D@mn, I even felt that one... Well said...

 

[Life-Trainee]

Originally posted by joe45
i don;t now why as a guy we have to do everything, take the inititave to talk to the girl, wonder if she is intrested, and if she is ask her out and we might even get rejection and face embarassment. i mean as a guy i have to do a lot of work. all the girl has to do is give the guy a couple of glances to show she is interested and thats it oh ya and dress up and look nice-makeup, nice clothes.

i think its a lot of work especially if ur a shy guy like myself. it helps a lot when u have a girl who likes knows she likes a guy and ask him out and initiate. i myself have had girls looks at me, check me out but never once did i have a girl ask me out or even flirt -that be the case at 24 asian guy i never had a gf or dated b/c of my shyness and quiteness. tell u the truth i probably missed like 5 chances in HS and college combined just due to cluelessness of the signs girls give out(always looking at me, sayin hello, give me pat on the lap,) and not nowing what to do, shyness, quietness- i mean if the gal had found me attractive -why didn't she ask me out or initiate.
these days i have changed- i have a freind who is a girl now, i am also talkin-well small talk to girls as before when i was in HS and in my very earlt 20's i wouldn't even go up and talk to a girl, all i have to do now is ask for a gal's numberwhich i have done ,and ask her out which i haven't had a date yet.
i did go out with a gal from one of my classes ,but wasn't attracted to her at all-more like a friend date and practice wise for myself.
i can tell u this its sooo frustrating. tell u the truth i don't even now where i going to find my future wife or gf -ppl say school but it happening it for me now. i really wish girl were more assertive in getting a guy they liked

*Begins AFC exorcism*

Have you any idea how much power you have? If girls did all the approaching you would be limited only to the pool of girls that approach you. You sound like you're desperate and would be happy to settle for anything. You as a male make a choice which woman is good enough for YOU. Be a man, go out and approach!!You have the power to reverse this curse!

*End AFC exorcism*