Winning her back

[Binx]

Alright, so.. the story of me and her is long, and quite frankly it's irrelevant to the topic at hand. But I'll give an overview.

I'm practically the rebound guy. I fit all the criteria for that. She dated a guy for 3 1/2 years, they broke up, we met.. we fell in love, things were great for 3 or 4 months, she decided things moved to fast, she wanted to be single.. she did that, we continued to fool around and be close, she hooked up with another guy, they're dating now.. Yeah, that's your typical rebound scenario, I'm aware of that.

Thing is, around each other, we still act the same as we always have.. just not physical anymore, obviously. We still flirt like crazy, and we talk on a near daily basis. We have two classes together at the university, and people tell me when me and her are together, no one else exists, that there is an unbelievable chemistry between us. I still tell her how beautiful she is, how awesome she is, etc etc etc. She still looks at me with those gorgeous eyes just like she used to.

This is all true. So, then.. why is she with this other guy? I've been told it's because if you let a women know how much you care, you're screwed. I dunno about that.

The main thing I'm trying to find out here, is how to win her back. I know it's possible, and maybe it will just take time, but I've never been the patient type.. I may have to alter myself on this one.

I can't count on her boyfriend cheating on her, because no man in their right mind would cheat on her, seeing as how she is a brunnette bombshell with a stellar personality and an awesome sense of humor, and everything else that makes women great.

Any advice?

 

[blueguy]

I still tell her how beautiful she is, how awesome she is, etc etc etc. She still looks at me with those gorgeous eyes just like she used to.

She's probably with the other guy because she knows she can be with the other guy........... and have you too. But that's something that you allowed. The only way to win her back is to walk away.

 

[mrRuckus]

I barely read this but the advice is to get a different girl.

"Win her back" is the completely incorrect mindset. Win? Who the hell wants to win a girl? It's more like "this girl likes me i guess i'll let her stick around for now."

 

[NewMan]

Cut off contact.

Stop being her pvssy

Game other chickies.

 

[blueguy]

You know you shouldn't have continued to fool around once she said she wanted to be single if you wanted otherwise. That's exactly what she wanted. She wanted to eat her cake and still have it. You have to stand up for yourself and not be a pushover. But oh well lessons learned. And the other guy is right about trying to "win a girl." It's the wrong mindset.

 

[typical]

You know you shouldn't have continued to fool around once she said she wanted to be single if you wanted otherwise. That's exactly what she wanted. She wanted to eat her cake and still have it. You have to stand up for yourself and not be a pushover. But oh well lessons learned. And the other guy is right about trying to "win a girl." It's the wrong mindset.

Exactly, good points

 

[penkitten]

she had a choice : him or you.
she could pick either.
she weighed the odds of attraction and desire and whatever heart felt halmark greeting card feelings she keeps bottled up inside of her.
then she picked him.

whats worse is she is flirting around behind his back with you now.
the you that she didnt pick.


she did you a favor because you can sit off to the side now and see what kind of person she is by acting the way she does with people behind his back when she is supposed to be with him.

 

[jigga23]

dude its not that hard. cut off contact with her right now and see what she does. if she calls you thats good if not then youre done

 

[Itiswhatitis]

Wont he seem like a hurt b1tch if he just cuts off contact? Shouldnt he slowly back out of it.? Make it seem like he's so busy he just doesnt have the time for her? Just seems like he would seem like a scorned man if he juust cuts off contact.

 

[STORMCLOUD]

Wont he seem like a hurt b1tch if he just cuts off contact? Shouldnt he slowly back out of it.? Make it seem like he's so busy he just doesnt have the time for her? Just seems like he would seem like a scorned man if he juust cuts off contact.[/QUOTE

I agree. Get on with your life, and hopefully, she will become secondary to you just like you are to her.

 

[sexy_kuta]

k this is what u do...

first ask yourself.. is she worth it? like can u see urself with this girl for 5 years straight.. and use ur head and think that question for a day at least because most of the time u will chose a girl thats not even ur type.. thats the power of oneitis... its not gonna be easy to pursue this just to let u know..

NOw if uwant her back u gotta play hard..

im in the same shoes as u, i was the rebound guy but i never gave in. never kissed her ass.. i actually encourged to take a break, it depends how long u were together.. if you guys spent more than a few weeks together than thats good.. keep it up.. if u kissed her ass then u gotta stop... and no matter what dont pressure her..

now.. dont contact her.. let her phone u..
u basicly gotta start all over again read this thread 5 times.. and understand what the man is saying.. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=105085

 

[Last Man Standing]

Simple - you were merely the next pimp in line - the hor found another pimp!!!

 

[Road Demon]

1) Increase your value

2) show disinterest

 

[Road Demon]

This is what you need to do:

Follow this plan: An excellent post by Donpepot



What to do if she breaks up with you...(winning her back)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's a list of what NOT to do if your girlfriend is
breaking up with you.


1) Do NOT fight with her. Fighting ALWAYS creates
tension and kills attraction. Fighting with a woman is useless.
Even if you win the argument, you will still lose the war.

2) Do NOT try to use logic to show her why she should
come back to you. Love is based on FEELINGS, not logic. No
matter how brilliant your logic is, she's still going to leave
you.

3) Do NOT reassure your ex that you have "changed" so
things will be "different from now on". It's like trying to
bail water out of a sinking boat. It won't work. The hole is
still there and your words are not going to mend it.

4) Do NOT keep telling her you love her. She won't
care. All a woman cares about is how much SHE loves YOU...not
the other way around!)

5) Do NOT beg her to come back. The more you beg, the
more she will ignore you.

6) Do NOT try to make her feel guilty about leaving you.
(Examples: "I can't work without you." and "Don't break up
with me during exam period...") It won't work. It will only
make her DREAD being with you even more.

7) Do not act depressed so they will feel bad for you.
Sympathy does NOT equal ATTRACTION!

8) Do NOT talk to her friends to win their support. All
she cares is how SHE fees about you. Even if her friends love you,
they can't make her love you forever. External pressure never
lasts longer. If your girl decides to stay with you, her motivation
has to come from WITHIN.

9) Do NOT spend money on gifts and flowers for her. You
can't buy her heart back with money.

10) Do NOT push her into getting back with you. The more
you push, the more she will PULL AWAY.

These are the most common mistakes guys make during a
breakup. Trust me, you don't want to do ANY of these things.
If you do, I can guarantee you your relationship will be doomed.
You probably won't even get a chance to kiss your girlfriend
goodbye, let alone get her back.


WHAT TO DO

1.Be polite
2.BE indifferent
3.Show to her that you can live without her and your having fun and you have a life and surviving without her.
4.Ignore her
5.Your time now is for other people and things not for her
6.Dont be rude or do somthing signifies that your in pain like anger or hate.
7.Flirt with other girl BUT THIS IS OPTIONAL...if your gonna do this make it sure that it will not seem that your just making her jelous..remeber the point here is to make her realise that you can still continue to live withouot her and have fun and you dont give a fck if she dumps you..
8.Dont try to be friends
9.Don’t be taken for granted
10.Don’t try to seduce them
11.Just cut them off and get on with your life
12.make their decisions final
13.Be patient and wait for her next move but for the meanwhile keep doing all the above statements.

When she contact

1.be polite
2.be indifferent
3.show to her that your time is not for her
4.cut her calls short
5.Be patient and wait for her next move.
6. Say to her or show to her through your actions that "NO HARD FEELINGS"

when she cry or says she misses you or do somthing that sugest she cant afford to loose you or trying to be friends

1.Continue to back off
2.be a challenge
3.Accept her only of your truely conviinced that she will do anything just to give her another chance.
4.be polite still
5.Be patient and wait for her next move


whe you take her back
1.donr EVER BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED
2.PUT THE BLAME ON HER
3.Do so on your own terms

donpepot

 

[MightyMate]

She is for 100% with othe guy. You wont win her only loose.. dignity. Trust me.