Will some girls just not sleep with you right away???

[Reyaj]

Ok maybe the of this thread sounds naive... but the theme on here is that if you run the right game... and if a girl is truly interested she will bang you. I believe Rollo says "If a girl wants to f you, she will find a way to f you"

POF date I had yesterday.

Overall summary of this girl: Attractive, 30, 3 kids, Seperated, a lot of issues.. and probably what I'd call a POF player... (mets lot of people on there, has pre-reqs etc..)

So anyway she lives far from me but I do travel near her area sometimes and she really was into me from talking on the phone. We've kept in touch for about 4 months or so. Well last night I really had nothing to do so I figured it might be a good idea to plan a meet. I told her I was going to be in her area on business and we planned to meet for drinks at a local chain restaurant.

So we meet. she is sitting in front by the entrance.. I go to give her a hug and she gives me a weak 1 handed hug (usually negative in my bad experiences but whatever) We walk by the bar and I propose sitting on the edge.. she said it was too busy and wanted to sit somewhere else.. I'm like ok cool, so I walked to the long side of the bar and we find 2 seats. The bartender asks us what we want to drink. She's like I actually need to eat first before I drink anything (she is weird about drinking..) I'm like ok, well I'm just going to get water I don't drink alone. So she orders some appetizers... and even though I'm thinking this girl probably isn't attracted to me, she really starts opening up and talking a lot... I do my regular body language (show attention then take it away) which has worked in the past for me..

So one thing she talked about were her back issues (which are legit, actually has an x-ray of it on FB).. she then tells me to feel it and I rub her back (her POF description said she doesn't like guys touching her right away) so I took this as an IOI..... We continue talking and I do my best to DHV by talking about how well I am doing with my career (not in an obvious braggart way) and the options I have and aspirations..... I tried some NLP by having her describe the excitement and fate about her current job and then anchoring.

So anyway after she is done eating, I said what do you want to drink... she picked some special wine drink and I ended up ordering whiskey. So her drink was apparently strong.. but she drank it all and I drank mine. The bartender comes by and asks if we want another one. She says no I am fine (bad sign when a girl only has 1 drink in my experience). She is like you can get something else.. I don't like to drink too much. I told her I was fine too and wasn't going to drink alone either but anyway I hold cool and we continue talking. I then say "are you sure you don't want another drink..we don't have to work tomorrow or anything" she refuses again politely... but then after a few minutes she's like hmm I'm almost tempted to have another one it was good lol.. I'm like we'll have 1 more no big deal. Before she could deny it again I told the bartender to get us 2 more.... So during most of this time she is talking and telling me about the drama in her life and a bunch of other bs... while all I'm thinking about is my next move. She mentions how she dated a lot of guys on pof and how she was in a semi relationship last year with a 50 year old... She's like he ended up going back to his wife... and I play 2nd fiddle to no one and how he always texts her but she said he had his chance..

Then.. she's like my back hurts I am sorry, can we move to a booth? In my mind I did not like this because its hard to Kino when you are across from someone with a big table in it but what could I say??? So we end up moving there.. I continue talking to her and smiling and all the other bs... we finish our drinks. She mentions how there is this club down the road she likes. I said can I get in how I'm dressed? She is like yea sure... so I'm like you want to go? She's like yeah let me check the time (11:30pm) she then says I have to drive though.. I'm like ok I left my car keys in the hotel (my hotel was close to the restaurant) She is like ok its cold can you please go get them and I will wait here..

So during my walk to get the keys I am thinking what should I do and if its even worth it.. First I'm like I'm going to try and kiss her in my car... if she gets stupid about it I'll end the date there and not waste any more time... but then I thought of doing something else... I will take her hand and walk with her to my car to see if she complies... So thats what I ended up doing and to my pleasant surprise we held hands to my car. We then get to the club and park. She is like I need to put lip gloss on and started going for it in her purse. I'm like hold on before you do that..I go in and start kissing her.... She kisses me back.. So then she puts her lip gloss on.. I ask "how does that taste?" She says why don't you find out... and we start kissing again... So wow suddenly what I thought was going to be nothing starts having some potential!!

So anyway we go into the club... she immediately just pulls me on the dance floor and we start grinding and dancing hot.. she even pushed my hands down on her butt and I'm basically feeling this girl up all over and making out with her... We then take a break and she actually ends up getting another drink with me (although a weak girly drink) Back out to the dance floor, hooking up again..I start kissing her neck feeling her up.. she is all into me feeling me... basically hard as hell as grinded me..

So here is where I want your opinions/feedback....... read below

So after about an hour of intense hooking up we decide to leave and I drive back to the restaurant/hotel (in the same area and share a parking lot). I park the car and I start kissing her... She is like I really need to go (in that half tone like should I stay or should I go) I'm like "lets hang out for a few, I want you to be awake when you drive... She is like I am awake... I really should go I had a great time... I'm like "you really want to leave... " and I start kissing her....

She then says the following which got into my head and probably contributed to the bad ending we'll get to shortly..... "I did the whole sleeping around thing last year" thats not me right now

Ok so when I heard this I immediately understood this in my head "I can sleep with this girl tonight....."

So I'm like listen lets hang out for an hour we can watch tv or whatver.. she's like noooo thats too long.. I'm like 30 minutes... she's like ook but I am serious not a minute longer. I then tell her "I'll even drive you back to your car" (bear in mind its in the same parking lot but you'll see how this gets me later)

So I open her door and sorta pull her out of the car before she hesitates again.. and we go up to my room. So I had the TV on when I walked in... she lays down on the bed and starts watching whats on tv with interest. I'm chill for a few minutes... ask her if she wants water and give her some.. I then start rubbing her back.. she said it felt good.. but when I went under her shirt she said to stop and that it felt better rubbing it over her clothes... I'm like ok so I continued... She then was like "rub slower and in circles" I took this as a compliance test to which I replied "sure I'll do that if you give me a kiss" She smiled and was like I will soon, sorry my back just hurts. Anyway she lays forward flat while I am back against the bed post and really is into this TV show and not really paying attention to me..

So at this point I am just thinking I better make a move.. so I leaned forward with her and I tried to kiss her.... this time she had "dead lips" and didn't recriprocate.. I'm thinking like wtf so I kind of pulled back and continued watching TV...

After a few mins I start rubbing her back again which she liked... then I went on and started sucking on her neck... she let me.... and after a few mins of this she started rubbing her fingers through my hair as I was doing this (good sign in my past experiences)... I then started feeling her up... and trying to work my mouth down on her titttties she then sorta pushed me away and was like "I really need to go"... I said 5 minutes as I continued trying to escalate... she pushed me back again and said I have to go... I said 4 minutes and 30 seconds and continued... I actually got her into a missionary position (albeit with our clothes on) and we kinda dry humped.... Everytime I got close to her nipples with either my hand or mouth she kept stopping me... So this continued for another few minutes and she's like "I'm going to have to go ninja on you..." and she like blocked my arms and everything....

She then said the following "its too bad you didn't meet me a year ago..." she then got up and put her boots and her coat on... Now at this point I'm trying to hold my anger in as I feel I was teased (see an earlier thread of mine for when I didn't...) I tried the freeze out... but was already ready to get out the door.. She's like "Come on drive me to my car" I replied "are you kidding its like right there... by the time I start my car you could have walked to yours"

She starts getting angry "I don't like liars.. you promised you would drive me to my car" Now honestly at this point I am tired as hell, comfortoable in my room and frankly bitter towards this girl cause I wasn't getting any.... So I basically held my ground and didn't..

She then said this "If you don't drive me to my car you'll never hear from me again..." and she had a tone..... My response? I looked her dead in the eyes and said...

"That's a test you're going to fail"

She got angry waved bye to me and stormed out and slammed my door....

Ended up blocking my on FB and what not...


So what gives guys? lol I can't believe I typed all that out..

 

[Jules_Winfield]

Her plan was to string you along until she could decide if you two were working toward a relationship. When she was sleeping around last year, she probably thought most of those situations would develop into a relationship. You met her after she decided on a different approach.

Her telling you about her sleeping around is not as uncommon as you might think. Some women just don't know how to conduct themselves around men, which is probably why all the other guys moved on.

 

[MatureDJ]

Overall summary of this girl: Attractive, 30, 4 kids

4 kids?

 

[Reyaj]

Her plan was to string you along until she could decide if you two were working toward a relationship. When she was sleeping around last year, she probably thought most of those situations would develop into a relationship. You met her after she decided on a different approach.

Her telling you about her sleeping around is not as uncommon as you might think. Some women just don't know how to conduct themselves around men, which is probably why all the other guys moved on.

She said she wasn't looking for a relationship now and just wanted to go out and have fun... but we know what girls is BS, so you'll probably right and I agree, thanks!

She actually has 3 kids, not like its much better lol.

 

[MOTU]

Bro, she probably misses the days when she had orbiters and was trying to rekindle the feeling with you. You gave her ample opportunities to confirm that she's not a slvt before she banged you, so sorry.. She just didn't want the d!ck.

Who cares why? There are 1000's of others out there that do want the d!ck, just find one of them. And maybe in that search you'll too across a sweet, hot, smart girl who is worthy of the prize.

 

[Married Buried]

Believe it or not all women are not wh0res even thought your date sounds like one. Strike on you for dating a single mom.

 

[Married Buried]

The title of your thread is wayyyy off. It should be "Why won't a used up trashy single mom sleep with me on the first date?"

She is certainly no "girl".

 

[Reyaj]

LOL Malice I just wanted to get some poon... single moms are a good source of it. Don't worry I would never dream of wifing up something like that. She is hot though I gotta admit, I'd love to slam it if I can.

Bro, she probably misses the days when she had orbiters and was trying to rekindle the feeling with you. You gave her ample opportunities to confirm that she's not a slvt before she banged you, so sorry.. She just didn't want the d!ck.

Who cares why? There are 1000's of others out there that do want the d!ck, just find one of them. And maybe in that search you'll too across a sweet, hot, smart girl who is worthy of the prize.

Agree dude. My question and what I'm trying to figure out is how I should handle these type of situations going forward. Mainly:

1.) At what point should I give up trying to get the poon? When we were in my car and she said she should leave.. was it the right move to get her up to my room?

2.) When she was up in my room should I have not escalated physically right away? She was being very cold all of a sudden. I did the best I could but eventually she just stopped me. Am I wrong to expect sex from a women who comes to my room?

3.) What/when should I have done to part ways with her? Should I have stopped escalating physically even though it seemed to work initially...?

Part of me wonders if there was anything else I could have done to score with her.... but towards the end she got pretty solid about wanting me to back off even though minutes before she was into me sucking on her neck and feeling her up... even rubbing her hand through my hair....

 

[MOTU]

Well I am not sure I am the best to be giving advice on this one as I don't have the level of experience others do, but I probably would played it cool after she said she did the sleeping around thing last year. If she is hot enough to put in the effort than waiting a couple of dates is no big deal to me.

My recent experience has been that if I turn up then turn down the sexual energy a couple of times I can get the chick to do the pursuing. The last two POF fvcks I had both initiate with me.

 

[Bible_Belt]

"I did the whole sleeping around thing last year" thats not me right now"

Ok so when I heard this I immediately understood this in my head "I can sleep with this girl tonight....."

My understanding would have been "yeah, I hope your herpes doesn't come back, either."

You lost when you got mad about her saying no. You're supposed to never lose your cool; obviously it's not easy.

When I sold vacuum cleaners, they told us that the average buyer said no seven times before saying yes. The guys who were good made them say no 20+ times, or until they got thrown out of the house.

There is a close called the "doorknob close." It's a last-ditch effort when nothing else has worked, and you've already been told no ten times. You act like you give up, pack up all your stuff, carry it to the front door, and put your hand on the front door as though you were leaving. Then you turn around and ask "so what was it again that kept you from buying?" and close them hard when they have let down their defenses and don't see it coming. It's a mental sucker punch.

"Always be closing" is the expression. It would have been best to drive her to her car like you weren't mad, and try to fvck her about three more times before she drives off. I have had women do a complete 180 when they realize I'm not mad about being rejected. All of a sudden you're not just a horny guy trying to only get laid; you become a catch that she might lose. The worst case is that she still drives off, but contacts you the next time she is horny and wants to fvck. (or that damn herpes has cleared up)

 

[Johnny Alias]

4 kids?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dude. She sounds like an effing mess to me. Demanding from the start, flirty, flaky... and talking about her sexual history like that majorly *****Y.

Whatever though right? She's a slutbag throw a hotdog down the hallway vagina kinda chick. 3 kids??? Jesus.

How can you be upset about THIS????

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Reyaj,
Your last Girl Friend had a Mobster Father...So count your blessings!

 

[Tictac]

Lotta words for 'didn't get any'.

 

[Reyaj]

Well I am not sure I am the best to be giving advice on this one as I don't have the level of experience others do, but I probably would played it cool after she said she did the sleeping around thing last year. If she is hot enough to put in the effort than waiting a couple of dates is no big deal to me.

My recent experience has been that if I turn up then turn down the sexual energy a couple of times I can get the chick to do the pursuing. The last two POF fvcks I had both initiate with me.

I did play it cool after she said she did the sleeping around thing last year. In my head though silently I was thinking that if she did it in her past she could do it in her future.. and if I ran the right game I could get some that night...

But yes maybe I was "too" aggressive... but my thought process was that I should just go for it... In the past where I've been too passive nothing had happend either. I guess when she finally pushed me off and put her jacket on I should have tried to keep cool and just walked her to her car. I got spoiled because the last hot chick i was with in a similar scenario banged me right away with no hesitation...

It's tough to keep cool and not get angry when you are drinking and horny and a girl is hooking up with you... only for it to seem like tease. Am I wrong to get mad in this scenario?

"I did the whole sleeping around thing last year" thats not me right now"

Ok so when I heard this I immediately understood this in my head "I can sleep with this girl tonight....."

My understanding would have been "yeah, I hope your herpes doesn't come back, either."

You lost when you got mad about her saying no. You're supposed to never lose your cool; obviously it's not easy.

When I sold vacuum cleaners, they told us that the average buyer said no seven times before saying yes. The guys who were good made them say no 20+ times, or until they got thrown out of the house.

There is a close called the "doorknob close." It's a last-ditch effort when nothing else has worked, and you've already been told no ten times. You act like you give up, pack up all your stuff, carry it to the front door, and put your hand on the front door as though you were leaving. Then you turn around and ask "so what was it again that kept you from buying?" and close them hard when they have let down their defenses and don't see it coming. It's a mental sucker punch.

"Always be closing" is the expression. It would have been best to drive her to her car like you weren't mad, and try to fvck her about three more times before she drives off. I have had women do a complete 180 when they realize I'm not mad about being rejected. All of a sudden you're not just a horny guy trying to only get laid; you become a catch that she might lose. The worst case is that she still drives off, but contacts you the next time she is horny and wants to fvck. (or that damn herpes has cleared up)

True.. STDs are never thought of when you're horny and wanting to get some.. since my last scare though I think I should be more careful. Regardless I planned on using a rubber. And yes I suppose It went downhill when I lost my cool... do you have any advice on how to keep cool? Again if a girl is hooking up with you and in your hotel room in my opinion she should put out or satisfy me to some degree... whatever... I also was mad because I was thinking she slept with these other guys but not me???? Took it personally..

I never heard of that door knob close before... actually sounds interesting. Can you give me the words to say in a sexual situation versus a product being sold though?

I don't think I could have scored going backwards by taking her to her car when she was already in my room... but at least I could have had a shot next time. Which brings me to the next question... how much leeway should you give a girl to bang you? Like I said the last girl (I did her raw feel free to look up the post) was even hotter and didn't play this bs. Had no kids or anything either....

 

[nismo-4]

This was a long ass story of an attention wh0re. You failed to bring out her inner slvt, or she doesn't find you desirable. Or she just wanted some validation, or "just wanted to be friends." At any rate, your princess is in another castle. Drop her ass, she dropped you anyway.

When I go out with her tomorrow, she'll tell me this story, and The minute she pulls some bullsh*t on me, I'm leaving her ass.

Women who are interested in you won't confuse you. Would she be hesitant to put out for Channing Tatum? She wouldn't. Accept that you have been rejected and move on. Judge nismo's orders.

Case closed.

 

[dasein]

Second bar should have been no more than a 30 minute grind to get her ready. Then "Hey, want to head back to my room?" from you. If no, then end the date, no anger, frustration, poutiness. Often, an instant cutoff of your attention or threat of it will throw her for a loop and turn things around. Don't always be closing, always be takeaway closing. Mean it too, be ready to walk, sometimes you are in the car driving away when you get the callback or text "I'm not sleepy, want to hang out?" But the key is showing NO-THING, no emotion of any kind, frustration, annoyance, enthusiasm, just a half smile, one kiss and a pleasant "goodnight." Being emotionless at the end of these kinds of things leaves them wanting closure and sets you way apart from other men who think they are "doing good" when they keep dragging things out with the supplication. Frankly, I'd rather wait until the woman is interested in sex another time than wheedle her into sex at 4AM, too much time and effort in the latter.

If they ever start up with "should have met me a year ago, did all my horing then, past my wild phase, tired of the party scene, bladebla," be ready with "that's cool, just doesn't sound like much fun though." or the 102 response, "sounds boring, are you -trying- to bore me?" and nothing else.

Never start a makeout session other than a single kiss close somewhere you aren't going to be able to f-ck. You're a man, she's a woman, adults makeout as foreplay and then they f-ck. If you revert back to high school under the shirt bra grabber trying to sheepishly pull off each piece of clothing, she will take your lead and start acting like a HS tease, and this is exactly what she did. I usually just pull my c-ck out after a certain point on a bed making out assuming we are gonna f-ck. Can't remember the last time we didn't after that point. Most natural thing in the world. If one ever were to start freaking out, I'd say "sorry, thought you wanted that," put on my pants and show her out politely with 0 angst. Have had them come back five minutes later after this kind of thing also in the past.

Always have some kind of music anywhere you are taking a woman back to, could be a cheap radio or even a music channel on the TV. You were doing well dancing, why didn't you keep dancing in the hotel? Never turn on TV at the end of a night with a woman. Boring. Keep them moving, dancing, walking whatever. They are much more likely to want to have sex that way.

Odds are not much you did could have changed anything, I suspect this one had a preexisting FWB they were trying to make jealous by being out on the town. Better luck next time.

 

[Married Buried]

LOL Malice I just wanted to get some poon...

Why with this? Her p/ssy has been pounded more than Evander Holyfields face. I would rather jack off.

 

[Reyaj]

Second bar should have been no more than a 30 minute grind to get her ready. Then "Hey, want to head back to my room?" from you. If no, then end the date, no anger, frustration, poutiness. Often, an instant cutoff of your attention or threat of it will throw her for a loop and turn things around. Don't always be closing, always be takeaway closing. Mean it too, be ready to walk, sometimes you are in the car driving away when you get the callback or text "I'm not sleepy, want to hang out?" But the key is showing NO-THING, no emotion of any kind, frustration, annoyance, enthusiasm, just a half smile, one kiss and a pleasant "goodnight." Being emotionless at the end of these kinds of things leaves them wanting closure and sets you way apart from other men who think they are "doing good" when they keep dragging things out with the supplication. Frankly, I'd rather wait until the woman is interested in sex another time than wheedle her into sex at 4AM, too much time and effort in the latter.

If they ever start up with "should have met me a year ago, did all my horing then, past my wild phase, tired of the party scene, bladebla," be ready with "that's cool, just doesn't sound like much fun though." or the 102 response, "sounds boring, are you -trying- to bore me?" and nothing else.

Never start a makeout session other than a single kiss close somewhere you aren't going to be able to f-ck. You're a man, she's a woman, adults makeout as foreplay and then they f-ck. If you revert back to high school under the shirt bra grabber trying to sheepishly pull off each piece of clothing, she will take your lead and start acting like a HS tease, and this is exactly what she did. I usually just pull my c-ck out after a certain point on a bed making out assuming we are gonna f-ck. Can't remember the last time we didn't after that point. Most natural thing in the world. If one ever were to start freaking out, I'd say "sorry, thought you wanted that," put on my pants and show her out politely with 0 angst. Have had them come back five minutes later after this kind of thing also in the past.

Always have some kind of music anywhere you are taking a woman back to, could be a cheap radio or even a music channel on the TV. You were doing well dancing, why didn't you keep dancing in the hotel? Never turn on TV at the end of a night with a woman. Boring. Keep them moving, dancing, walking whatever. They are much more likely to want to have sex that way.

Odds are not much you did could have changed anything, I suspect this one had a preexisting FWB they were trying to make jealous by being out on the town. Better luck next time.

This is sound advice, thanks so much.

Being emotionless at the end of these kinds of things leaves them wanting closure and sets you way apart from other men who think they are "doing good" when they keep dragging things out with the supplication. Frankly, I'd rather wait until the woman is interested in sex another time than wheedle her into sex at 4AM, too much time and effort in the latter.

This is something I have seen work.... it is challenging though cause nothing angers me more than tease... The last chick I had in my room gave it up right away (and was even hotter with a lot less baggage). I have to keep remembering that all girls are different. I wasn't staying in the hotel that the club was in... so I had to drive back to where I was staying.

I think I was in the right to escalate as much as I could... but when I got clear resistance I should have done the "Freeze out" show no emotion and just act uninterested and walked her to her car. I doubt she would have turned around and wanted to F... but at least I may have had a shot at a 2nd date... (still possibly might stay tuned)

Your feedback is interesting though cause you seem to indicate play it cool and ending the date on a soft note which I used to do... but my mindset lately is just go as far as I can and "make the ho say no".... I think what I'm doing now is better.. I just need to control my emotions and expect that some girls are just going to be cvck teases...

 

[potato]

I’ve never been much into pursuing women just for the sake of getting laid. That means that when I first meet a woman, when we go on our first date; I’m not thinking about getting laid but rather seeing if I like her enough to get involved with her or not. There have been times when everything clicked right off the bat and we ended up in bed in short order. Yet when it didn’t happen it was no big deal because I wasn’t expecting it.

Nonetheless, it seems to me that most, if not an overwhelming majority of women won’t, on a regular basis, just jump into bed with a guy she’s just met, regardless of how attracted to him she is or not. A major reason for this is that most women want more out of it than just sex. By my observations over the years it seems to me that a large number of men are having “one night stand” type of sex with a small number of women. Wasn’t that one of the things pointed out in the book “The Game”? It didn’t take long and all the guys living in the house had all gamed and banged the same limited number of bar whoes.

My current gf seemed to like me from the first moment we met. It was at a party. Everyone partied into the night and come morning there were something like twenty people passed out in various locations around the house. I had crashed on the floor in the living room with my now gf. Nothing happened. We just cuddled and fell asleep. There were two guys there; both of who had previously come onto my gf. Both of them, and other guys were giving me grief, claiming that I blew it, that if it would have been them they would have banged her.

They tried it their way and she had rejected them. I flirted with her that day and the next when I hung out with her but didn’t make a move on her - just a flirting tease. The next time I ran into her she couldn’t keep her hands off of me – touching me on my arms, my back, my sides, my thighs… It was more than a week when we went to a club – with the pretense of going to play a game of pool; we got to drinking, maybe a little too much, okay maybe a whole lot. Anyway we got to kissing and touching and grinding and all that – until people kept saying, “Get a room”. I was in no condition to drive home so we checked into a hotel just down the street.

We’ve talked about this. She insists that if I would have tried to have sex with her the first day she would have rejected me.

 

[_sideways_]

you keep your cool by having options....or knowing that youre always an option for the next girls