Will she be a good wife?

[Delly2000]

Just wondering. I knew this girl that dated a guy for 5 years. She was in love. They went on a break and her and I started going on dates. No intimacy but I figured she liked me and I dug her. Just when I thought I was going to close the deal they get back together. I think someone told the guy they saw us out so he stepped up his efforts. I was upset but fair is fair.

fast forward to last year. They are together. But her and I start hanging out. Going dancing. I tell her that I want her. We hang out a couple of days later and she asked to come down to my house. One thing led to another and we slept together. She said she can't beleive she cheated. SHe said that she enjoyed it but would never admit it to anyone. That she will never tell him. Asked how I felt about her. Said she thinks she almost loves me.

Anyway...about six months pass and they get married. Don't worry fellas...I wasnt hurt at this point. Dating others etc...plus I placed her in a certain category the first time she went back to her ex...the slight pain was then.

Will she be good wife material? I mean she cheated on her boyfriend. But she does love the guy which is obvious I guess. Maybe I was just providing something that was missing at the time.

I guess I can apply this to my life. Like if a girl cheats on me or leaves me for someone else then comes back but it was a "mistake" should you take her back if she clearly loves you.

 

[SecondHalf]

I'd say no!

There is a line in the sand that she is willing to cross likely justifying herself while crossing it.
At a minimum, this woman was playing in a danger zone.
There was sexual tension, then opportunity, then she let it happen.

This will likely happen again for her.
The huzbo will be away, or she on a business trip, and history will likely repeat itself.

I'd have no faith in this woman's word (or others like her). She has already demonstrated her integrity. The only thing that changes with these type of people are the excuses and justifications.

SH

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Delly,
There is an old saying that most Women wont stray but those who do,seldom do it just the once.

 

[sodbuster]

Nope, had a woman who cheated on her HUSBAND with a boyfriend. Cheated on her boyfriend with me..... Started dating me a year later.Broke it off with me to have a boy move in [a MONTH later.... think I wasn't being cheated on?] SINCE he's moved in, she's been over 3 times[once since they've been engaged] Do I think she's a keeper? Only if I can't ever find another woman in my entire life.

 

[DJDamage]

One thing led to another and we slept together. She said she can't beleive she cheated. SHe said that she enjoyed it but would never admit it to anyone. That she will never tell him. Asked how I felt about her. Said she thinks she almost loves me.

If she got away with it the first time, another oppertuinty to spice things up in her life for the sake of a thrill could be in her future. The fact that she cheated on the guy tells me that she doesn't have a very high interest in him and that could spell trouble down the road especially after the 7 year itch.

You just got to chuckle about her anti-slut defence of can't believe she cheated! wtf?! you did it b1tch! she knew from the exact moment you told her that you wanted her that its on.

 

[5string]

Dear Delly,
There is an old saying that most Women wont stray but those who do,seldom do it just the once.

There is another saying that comes to mind, I'm a good dog, but if you don't pet me once in awhile, I ain't stayin' on the porch.

 

[Colossus]

Will she be good wife material? I mean she cheated on her boyfriend. But she does love the guy which is obvious I guess. Maybe I was just providing something that was missing at the time.

I think you answered your own question.

She may be a "good wife" in the sense she treats her husband well, to his face anyway. But the fact remains she was disloyal and dishonest. Once that door is opened it is much easier to go back should she have a reason and an opportunity. Think about it this way: if she was truly happy with him, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. Cheating does not cure whatever deficit caused her to cheat. Chances are she will do again.

Personally I would never marry or continue to date a woman who had done this in the past, but that's just me. If I am going to commit to ONE woman I want to see a track record of loyalty, at least by my best objective assessment.

 

[caporal]

I think you answered your own question.
Personally I would never marry or continue to date a woman who had done this in the past, but that's just me. If I am going to commit to ONE woman I want to see a track record of loyalty, at least by my best objective assessment.

I COULDNT AGREE MORE WITH COLOSSUS WE WANT TO AT LEAST SEE FOR OURSELVES A CLEAN RECORD OF LOYALTY

 

[Delly2000]

Thanks for the tips.

I agree. I was just questioning it. I dont think any man wants the woman he loves to cheat. But I just thought it was a bit gray that if the woman truly loves him and just got weak that maybe she should be forgiven. Just like any other sin. Some people realize the error of their ways and promise never to do it again. A redemption so to speak. Many examples in history. I think that this may be applied to love as well.

Me personally I dont know if I would be able to get over it. Time heals all...so maybe. Anything is possible.

Thing that sucks is that this guy will never know. Maybe there were some signs...switch up in character...etc.

Its my fault too. I mean they were just boyfriend and girlfriend and she was with me for some reason. I made it clear how I felt about her.

 

[The_411]

The thing to hone in on is her denial mechanism... "I can't believe I cheated" I

It's a bunch of garbage, which in turn means she's a bunch of garbage.

It's a terrible anti-slut defense.

Not wife material imo.

 

[speed dawg]

Fvck no.

Cheating starts well before the physical act of having sex. Any DJ worth his salt knows this and can recognize it when it happens. Funny thing is, after you become a DJ, it usually doesn't happen to you anymore. But I can look back at many of my past relationships (and other peoples' that I observe) and I could have seen all the signs if my eyes had been opened.

She may well be a good wife at some point in life (probably not, though). But definitely not to you or her current husband.

 

[Nutz]

Marriage is a suckers bet these days because the laws are the biggest incentive for divorce, once a woman gets married, if you've got a good job all she has to do to win the lottery is file for divorce....and they know this. Doesn't matter if she's a good wife or not, the laws and odds are stacked against you. The only way to win the game is not to play in the first place. Ditto having kids.