Will Online Dating Destroy Game for Average Guys?

[spinaroonie]

Been seeing more and more of this lately - guy and girl have a great first date, no lay, never hears from her again.

Wonder how much of it has to do with the "mainstreamization" of online dating in recent years?

Any girl with a POF/OKC profile she has a stready stream of suitors knocking at her door. Rest assured there are hundreds of better looking thirsty dudes with more status hitting her up. These guys won't commit but they'll hit it and quit it.

Men are as faithful as their options. Women are as choosy as their options. With online dating, an attractive woman's options are seemingly infinite. In keeping with her hypergamous instincts, she's always on the lookout for the bigger, better deal.

In the past a woman would stick with a guy after a good date because she had no other solid prospects lined up. Now she's more likely to stray.

Online dating is a boon for guys who fit the media-promulgated aesthetic ideal (tall, muscular, white).

Guys who don't measure up physically have tough road to ho. No matter how tight his verbal game, a short Asian guy will always be hard-up when Mr. Tom Brady lookalike is hollering at her from the next browser.

Online dating is courtship distilled to its essence sans the filter of approach anxiety.

A 1000 rejections in the real world would cripple a man.
A 1000 rejections in the virtual world mean nothing.

Thousands of thirsty dudes without approach anxiety + hypergamous women with infinite options is a recipe for dating disaster. Unhappy girls who can't get a top guy to commit, and unhappy guys who can't get a date.

This phenomenon is unprecedented in human history.

And if online dating loses its stigma and becomes mainstream, it could put the average guy's prospects in serious jeopardy.

What % of single girls 20-29 today have online dating profiles?

 

[Burroughs]

Thousands of thirsty dudes without approach anxiety + hypergamous women with infinite options is a recipe for dating disaster. Unhappy girls who can't get a top guy to commit, and unhappy guys who can't get a date.

This phenomenon is unprecedented in human history.

yes 100%..

You have to expect that every girl is getting attention 2hb points above where she is..so a 5 is getting the attention of a 7...SO SHE THINKS SHE DESERVES AN 8!...An there is no 8 guy on Earth who wants an hb 5 chick (unless its a dude in an Indian arranged marriage).

The solution is to improve yourself to your maximum capacity.

 

[killerdiller]

If you are an average guy writing an average profile and sending average, unsolicited messages to girls on online dating websites, then yes, your chances of success are probably lackluster.

The key to succeeding in the online dating world is to write a great profile and let the women come to you. Someone posted an ad about Craigslist over the past few week; do a search and read what I wrote. The same applies to online dating websites, or at least OKCupid.

Average guys with bad profiles and no imagination think that if they write to every woman that they're interested in, they will eventually get a positive response/date/sex. Maybe, but that's a lot of work and the odds are still against you. If you can write a good profile that stands apart from the other sad sack stuff that all the other guys write, you can sit back and let the interested women contact you. While plenty of women are inundated with messages, these messages are on the whole of such poor quality that the woman will still search for other guys. You want her to read your profile, find you charming, and contact you. As long as you don't go all AFC in your response to an unsolicited-messaging woman (e.g. "I'm so flattered that a hottie like you contacted me, so here's a six-paragraph reply to your brief message!"), you have an excellent chance of getting a date.

I was on OKC for about 4 months. Each week, I would get between 2 and 5 unsolicited messages/"Someone chose you!" messages/"So-and-so added you to her favorite list" messages. Maybe a third of these women interested me. If they did, I would send a short response, and we'd correspond a few times, exchange numbers, and I'd get a date almost always. That's the ticket to this stuff. In an environment that almost always favors women over men, and sometimes to a huge degree, the best way of succeeding is to have a standout profile. You don't have to be a great-looking guy, but you do need decent pictures, and more importantly, a unique profile. Write well, don't use emoticons or smiley faces, avoid such platitudes "I love to laugh" or "I don't know what to write LOL." That's what every other schmuck is writing, right before they go to the online dating website forums and ask why they're not getting any responses.

A guy who can't succeed at online dating doesn't have to worry about his game, because he obviously doesn't have any. It's not that ******* hard.

 

[rhcp83]

I think this is all mental masturbation. Most women don't go on online dating sites. Mainly just a place for fatties, single moms, and good looking attention *****s that just put up a profile to read all the messages they get and if by some chance Brad Pitt stumbles by, great, if not, she's still getting attention from a thousand sad sacks.

Think about it, any 6 plus, non fattie, her social life is a focal if not the focal point of her life. She's meeting enough d1ck in real life where she doesn't need a site to meet men.

I think the reason men experience the first date/no lay/no second date phenomenon is because like I said, women have so many options in real life as it is....with social circles and guys they meet out and about, co-workers et al.

 

[metoo]

so go where you have almost no competition, guys. Third world men average making 1-3k a year. What can THEY offer a woman, hmm? Compared to the fact that ANY of you can offer her a US citizenship, which is so highly prized that 100's of thousands of women each year go on dating sites in an ATTEMPT to land themselves ANY decent US male. If you don't take advantage of this great opportunity, via the $20 a month Cherry Blossoms.com site, you have nobody but yourself to blame for being lonely. In one month of "hunting" at Cherry, I got over 200 email addy's, and I set the filters at Filipinas ONLY, cause they speak English, ONLY childless women aged 18-25, and only lovely ones at that. I offered them a 30k a year job, which aint at all hard to arrange. That's just minimum wage, given a lot of overtime, which any beautiful woman can get, you know.

 

[Wildebeest]

some interesting points in here

 

[SharinganUser]

so go where you have almost no competition, guys. Third world men average making 1-3k a year. What can THEY offer a woman, hmm? Compared to the fact that ANY of you can offer her a US citizenship, which is so highly prized that 100's of thousands of women each year go on dating sites in an ATTEMPT to land themselves ANY decent US male. If you don't take advantage of this great opportunity, via the $20 a month Cherry Blossoms.com site, you have nobody but yourself to blame for being lonely. In one month of "hunting" at Cherry, I got over 200 email addy's, and I set the filters at Filipinas ONLY, cause they speak English, ONLY childless women aged 18-25, and only lovely ones at that. I offered them a 30k a year job, which aint at all hard to arrange. That's just minimum wage, given a lot of overtime, which any beautiful woman can get, you know.

Can someone tell me why this racist dip**** is allowed to post here? People who buy *****s for 30k to sleep in a big rig, really shouldn't be giving advice about anything.

 

[Evzone]

The thing is, regardless of if the approach is online or in person, you're going to have to hang out with the girl face to face anyways eventually. Because of that, game will always be important. As for the girls, they're going to get bored eventually from guys with no game...you got to realize, even if they have a bunch of chumps fawning over then, THEY DON'T WANT THAT. They still want the alpha male. It's genetic.

 

[the_stig]

Great post. It's a startling truth most of us have begun to face.

I found POF back in 2007, and really started to clean up in 2008 when I lost 60 lbs and dropped down to 150 (I'm 5'9"). I'd sit on pof chat and get number after number, night after night. It was too easy.

I started hitting a wall early in 2011. Less dates, more flakes. Got to the point where even fat chicks didn't return my messages or IMs. Nothing.

My profile is deleted now that I'm in a relationship, thank god, but I still decided to try an experiment and find out why this once pu$$y goldmine seemed to dry up.

Making a female profile confirmed all my fears. We all know girls are inundated on these sites, that's nothing new. I'm not gay, but my profile received messages from really good looking guys with creative profiles and very solid openers. Yup, pof has been saturated with guys who have game. What once set us apart, makes us just another option to consider. Some will disagree, but I was quite taken back at what I saw.

I did get a laugh or two after receiving a plethora of messages from male coworkers, friends, etc. EVERYONE and their Grandma is now on that site.

 

[omkara]

Whenever someone talks about setting up a fake female profile on POF, they neglect to mention the age or attractiveness level of the girl. This makes the results practically useless. The number of messages a 23 year old slim 8 gets is totally irrelevant to someone who can't get laid and is looking for a 35-year old 4 or 5.

 

[the_stig]

Whenever someone talks about setting up a fake female profile on POF, they neglect to mention the age or attractiveness level of the girl. This makes the results practically useless. The number of messages a 23 year old slim 8 gets is totally irrelevant to someone who can't get laid and is looking for a 35-year old 4 or 5.

How about the multiple 35-45 year old 4/5's that have rubbed in my face that they have received hundreds of messages and can essentially meet any guy they want? It appears even the bottom of the barrel Women on pof can be picky too.

 

[nismo-4]

Online dating is already easy mode for women.

For an attractive woman, it's like playing on God Mode with unlimited health, ammo, and magic, and all weapons right from the start!

And as for game, remember what Rollo said. "Your bulletproof game and wit won't make you look any better when your shirt comes off." He's right as hell. It reminds me of times when a guy talks to a girl but disappears into the background when an alpha male talks to her. Lots of guys these days are scared and sick of being lonely, so they turn to the internet and their lack of options gives women all this damn power. AFAIK there aren't that many alpha males on POF/OKC, and if there are, they have no problem with women. If your pics aren't good, you're in trouble.

You should always be physically and financially fit. And I'm working on this too.

Case closed.

 

[omkara]

How about the multiple 35-45 year old 4/5's that have rubbed in my face that they have received hundreds of messages and can essentially meet any guy they want? It appears even the bottom of the barrel Women on pof can be picky too.

Actually, I agree with you. I was talking to a 27-year old 3 recently and she said she quit POF because of being overwhelmed with the flood of messages. I doubt hers were very high quality though. She had the same 3 creepy guys try to IM her every time she came online. They probably see her as being attainable, much the same reason that someone like me would try to contact her.

 

[pdx1138]

responses from me sending out msgs went from 50% success last year to 10% just in this year 2011. These are 6/7's
forget about 9/10s.

A funny thing happened though early in november. A girl I went on one date with (didn't look as good as her photos and no chemistry for me) actually wrote me back when I went silent after the first date. She had my number but chose to msg me through okc.

She sounded annoyed that we had 1 date and I went silent and told me she made a point now of getting back to people anyway just to say bye.

Also told me "I probably would have gone out with you again"

my inner voice: "damn straight you would have, but I ain't feelin' it honey"

I chose not to flat out tell her I wasn't interested. No women ever do that for me and I had 3 I never heard back from this past summer. 2 of which I would have continued on with.

as to the question: Will Online Dating Destroy Game for Average Guys?

It's kind of irrelevant. no power in the universe can stop it. It's going to get worse before it gets better, so adapt.

 

[cordoncordon]

Any girl with a POF/OKC profile she has a stready stream of suitors knocking at her door. Rest assured there are hundreds of better looking thirsty dudes with more status hitting her up.

I think you are vastly overestimating the number of for the lack of a better word "9-10 rating men" available in this world, let alone the ones that actually go online to date.