Will it backfire if I approach women in a coffee shop I work in?

[CollegeMan22]

I do my remote work in a local coffee shop from 8 to 5. I’m a regular and all of the women staff are joking friends with me. The place is frequented by lots of young women.

I was thinking of doing some approaches when I get down time at work. I see two problems. One, I would have to go back to my computer/desk if I get rejected. I can’t leave the place because I have to keep working. That might creep a girl out. I also don’t want to get a bad, player reputation here, such that the staff are wary of me. Do you think these are potential problems or should I just go for it?

 

[jimwho]

You go to a coffee shop for 9-hours to work remotely and often? They must really like you. "Don't do it". If they chase
You then maybe.

 

[Barrister]

I don't see a problem with it. However, most women that head to coffee shops are either on their way somewhere or similarly are there to work remotely. So they are not exactly in the mood to be gamed necessarily. However, you can still be friendly, approach, and get an idea for where they are at. If you are getting positive vibes from them, ask for a number in the end and invite them out for drinks. But go in with the only goal to have an interesting conversation.

 

[2Rocky]

SO it is your office... "Don't **** where you eat" applies here. It just takes one waitress who feels uncomfortable with the way you asked her out to turn the whole place against you . She HAS to be there, you don't.

 

[Anti-Simp Equation]

Yes, it will backfire. You’re there for business. Keep it business. Men need to stop trying to holler at chicks on the clock.

 

[Serenity]

Sure, if you think of it the right way. You're not hitting on them, just striking a casual conversation and it goes where it goes. If they don't seem immediately receptive to you simply talking to them then that's a rejection, but not really in the sense that it should be awkward to stay.

I'd go really light to probe potential interest, not go in and overtly flirt with every woman you see during your break.

It will be problematic if you make it blatantly obvious to everyone and approach everyone. Keep it to something occasional and be casual like a normal person. If a woman likes what's going on then you can lead the conversation in the direction you want and maybe flirt some.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I do my remote work in a local coffee shop from 8 to 5. I’m a regular and all of the women staff are joking friends with me. The place is frequented by lots of young women.

I was thinking of doing some approaches when I get down time at work. I see two problems. One, I would have to go back to my computer/desk if I get rejected. I can’t leave the place because I have to keep working. That might creep a girl out. I also don’t want to get a bad, player reputation here, such that the staff are wary of me. Do you think these are potential problems or should I just go for it?

Approaching at work is just plain lazy. Go out and approach. You can flirt and chat but let girls shoot their shot. You want plausible deniability. You want other coffee shops preferably ones that college girls frequent.

I don't recommend it because modern men don't approach. Wackkkkk game. In said work environment, you aren't approaching man to woman. You are walking on ****ing egg shells. Playing it safe or landing in HR.

Leave work. Go get girls.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

You can do it if you are attractive & Socially calibrated. It’s quite risky. I’ve dated coworkers (though it’s not my ideal, things happen). Usually the girl has been pretty obvious about her interest, so the risk was lower.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Don't approach.

Be friendly and see what happens.

Approach just to chit chat, and let them know, by your behavior, that you're just taking a break.

Don't try any lame underhanded sexual innuendos or anything.

Play the long game, not the short game of trying to close every lady who smiles in your direction like most thirsty fist fvckers.

BTW, how much coffee do you need to buy to sit in a coffee shop for 8 hours a day without getting kicked out?

Did you ever have a conversation with anybody about why you're hanging out in a coffee shop for 8 hours a day?

I would think they would think that was odd.

 

[MatureDJ]

SO it is your office... "Don't **** where you eat" applies here. It just takes one waitress who feels uncomfortable with the way you asked her out to turn the whole place against you . She HAS to be there, you don't.

This is true, but I'm sure the OP could go to a different coffeeshop.

 

[MatureDJ]

BTW, how much coffee do you need to buy to sit in a coffee shop for 8 hours a day without getting kicked out?

Enough to explode my prostate, I'm sure. One could drink juice/soda/tea instead.

 

[espanish]

excellent question. I used to do my work at a coffee shop before the pandemic. I had been going to this coffee shop for years and never been bothered. I never spoke to anyone unless spoken to first. then one time I started flirting with this milf. the coffee shop was small enough for the cashier across the room to hear me. I saw the cashier looking at me. then I noticed he was whispering something to his coworker. the coworker comes up to me and says "you need to buy something to be sitting here" I don't think it was about me buying coffee, they just didn't want me there anymore, so I never went back. the coffee shop closed a couple of months later

 

[IKO69]

Don't risk your job man. There will be lots of other opportunities in more appropriate venues.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Probably not the smartest idea

 

[2Rocky]

This is true, but I'm sure the OP could go to a different coffeeshop.

I think I'd have multiple places to do remote work before I approached one of their employees. There was a thread on here where a dude creeped out a server and was asked to leave. Besides, Familiarity breeds contempt.

 

[bat soup]

I do my remote work in a local coffee shop from 8 to 5. I’m a regular and all of the women staff are joking friends with me. The place is frequented by lots of young women.

I was thinking of doing some approaches when I get down time at work. I see two problems. One, I would have to go back to my computer/desk if I get rejected. I can’t leave the place because I have to keep working. That might creep a girl out. I also don’t want to get a bad, player reputation here, such that the staff are wary of me. Do you think these are potential problems or should I just go for it?

Who cares if they get "creeped out"? If a girl is unresponsive then just get back to your work and forget her. Eventually she'll go away. If she goes away and never comes back then that's even better.

 

[SW15]

Approaching at work is just plain lazy. Go out and approach.

@CollegeMan22 is a remote worker who happens to do his white collar type work while sitting in a coffee shop. If he does approaches in that coffee shop, that is him going out and approaching.

I don't see a problem with it. However, most women that head to coffee shops are either on their way somewhere or similarly are there to work remotely. So they are not exactly in the mood to be gamed necessarily. However, you can still be friendly, approach, and get an idea for where they are at. If you are getting positive vibes from them, ask for a number in the end and invite them out for drinks. But go in with the only goal to have an interesting conversation.

I don't see a problem with doing the occasional approach in a coffee shop either. Since he's not actually an employee of the coffee shop and isn't hitting on the coffee shop employees, it's a big nothing. Worst case scenario is that he ends up going to another coffee shop. As a remote worker, he can also work at home.

 

[Deep State]

I'd go with a low key approach here.

This is a fairly common scenario. You should definitely try to talk to her.

"Hey, I've seen you around, and I wanted to say 'hello'."
Let her unplug her earphones or whatever.
"Hi, I'm Deep State. I wanted to say 'hi'. Are you in school?" etc. etc.
1-2 minutes max.
"Nice to meet you. I need to get back to work, but let's keep in touch. What's your phone number?"

Key points:
1) You've talked to her at all, vs maybe eye contact games.
2) A decent chance she really doesn't want to talk to you at all. Move on, no big deal.
3) Keep it short.
4) Do ask for contact information, or else you may never see her again.
5) No need to immediately call or text. Invite her out at some point and gauge her reaction.
6) There is a chance she initiates a conversation with you at some point:
"Can you watch my stuff, I need to use the bathroom?"
"Want to go to lunch?"

It all starts with your initial approach though.

 

[2Rocky]

If you spam approach female customers, you are gonna get asked to leave.
If you are friendly and indirect with a few women and a couple volunteer their number you are probably going to be ok.
But don't be surprised if one of the employees says something to a girl you approached like "You realize he's talked to like 20 other girls earlier today?"
Deep state has a good point above but don't do that all day...

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

@CollegeMan22 is a remote worker who happens to do his white collar type work while sitting in a coffee shop. If he does approaches in that coffee shop, that is him going out and approaching.



I don't see a problem with doing the occasional approach in a coffee shop either. Since he's not actually an employee of the coffee shop and isn't hitting on the coffee shop employees, it's a big nothing. Worst case scenario is that he ends up going to another coffee shop. As a remote worker, he can also work at home.

I love coffee shop approaching.