Wife wants to try open marriage.

[Leidenfrost]

Recently developed a problem with our sex life where we no
longer have sex, this is caused by a psychological induced
vertigo my wife experiences due to sexual anxiety from previous
childhood abuse, for whatever reason she has attributed this sexual
anxiety upon myself, she cheated with a coworker and realized that
those feelings do not exist for other men.

At first she was open to the idea of me having a playmate to
take care of only my sexual needs, however later developed
into her wanting a friend for herself as well.

Being 28 years old and married with one child, I cannot possibly
begin to grasp the concept of me sharing my wife with another man.

I can not begin to fathom the amount of rage or jealousy I would
experience when that would happen.

I was open to the idea of going to a swingers party, my reason being
is that there is a mutual respect with everybody involved and that to
trust my wife with another man, that other man would trust me with
his.

Really running out of ideas for what to do, or even how to feel, anybody got any takes on this?

 

[Epimanes]

Dude... She's fallen out of love with you. She's making excuses for an affair she's likely already done and wants to get you to "cheat" too (hence the asking for an open marriage) so she feels better. If you want to save your marriage and repair what's brought you to where you are now. Go here www.marriagebuilders.com and post your story there for their help.

 

[Married Buried]

She already cheated and she wants an open relationship? It's over. Forget open relationship, you need to point to the open door and tell her to go through it. I hope you saved some proof that she cheated so she can't rape you for half your worth. Maybe she can anyway? That would be ****ed.

 

[Driggs]

The response: "you want to **** other men? Fine but you're not staying here."

It's worse financially because you are married.

Another possibility is for you to say "fine" and then start meeting women and screwing them. Get a cheap apartment and start staying there 3-4 nights a week. Outfit it with a tv and whatever you need to entertain yourself and a girlfriend. Stay there whether you have dates or are just alone.

Meanwhile completely cease sex and affection with your wife. When you are home, sleep on the couch or in bed with her but facing away. Act totally noncommittal. Text when you're in bed with her with your back turned.

That should settle her hash.

Oh, also clean out your bank account or she will take half when she divorces.

You could also start taking pieces of furniture and putting them at the other place without saying anything. Refuse to discuss it.

If she cheated and you have proof she cheated kick her the **** out. Get her on audio talking about it. I wouldn't stay with a cheating wife, no way.

 

[Epimanes]

He has kids to think about... There is a narrow path to recovery IF he wants to go that route. Divorce is expensive. Recovery is a lot cheaper and logicly makes sense. There is two sides to the story for sure. Neither one of them are properly meeting eachothers needs. That can be fixed.. And some extraordinary precautions put in place and a lot of just compensation to be taken care of. Gps tracking for one. If he stays and considers repairing his marriage, the conditions that enabled this would have to be eliminated and she would have to be willing to be held accountable for all her time and provide just compensation to him. If not... Then divorce.

Another statistical divorce... Or take the narrow path on marriagebuilders to fix and prevent this from ever happeneing again. Without a plan of recovery they will be heading to affair #2.

 

[Married Buried]

He has kids to think about...

Once she cheats she is a dirty wh0re. No kids will change that. Stop giving these wh0res excuses to cheat.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Divorce is better than a sexless marriage.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Yikes, time to get yourself a couple playmates then and go on frequent business trips to thailand/brazil. At that point your marriage is buffed but if you are smart you'll start stashing money in an offshore account (HSBC), buying a house in another country where you have sole ownership (Mexico) and banging women left right and center. Then when the 'big surprise' happens, you'll be all ready for it and won't have missed out on life.

I'm also married but well prepared for disaster. Always have a plan B!

 

[CrimsonPanther]

I'm also married but well prepared for disaster. Always have a plan B!

^ this

if i lived in the US and i'd get married, i'd have almost NOTHING on my name, and all of my money stored in foreign banks. the only problem would be my job in case of determining the alimony, in this case i would talk to a lawyer how can i prevent it.

i don't care if she is the fairest and nicest woman in the world. i cannot predict how she will be once she decides to get into the business of divorce.

i have looked on some social sharing sites mostly from US, and based on that it seems to me the avg. us citizen is a retard. no offense guys, it just SEEMED from those sites (like vine videos for ex). i really hope i am wrong because i take no liking to see people so screwed by the government/media just to be easier to manipulate.

so to all US guys (and others too): ALWAYS have a plan B and play it smart.

 

[Colossus]

Open marriages are the biggest farce I've ever heard of. Not to mention you, as a man, are a sorry sack of cuckold sh!t.

Cheating is an absolute deal breaker IMO. No questions asked. The reason is irrelevant. Disloyalty can be forgiven, but never forgotten.

The best things you could do are to have substantial savings that she cannot access (offshore or cold hard cash in a vault) and if you can afford it have a "bug out" home or cabin someplace. These are good things to do regardless of women, actually. Preparing for divorce isn't much different than preparing for an economic disaster.

 

[Desdinova]

Do you know how many open marriages (or relationships) I've seen that keep the couple together and happy? ZERO.

You're just prolonging the inevitable by putting a bandaid on a pile of gore that used to be a relationship.

 

[5string]

Divorce is better than a sexless marriage.

winner

 

[Solomon]

Don't feed the troll!

 

[switch]

open marriage? thats a paradox. so ..... start gathering evidence for the divorce court.

 

[amoka]

My troll radar is up and scanning....

 

[ImaNerd]

I would agree to it and get as much tale as you can. See how she feels then. LOL

 

[Paulaus]

If she has attached her anxiety onto you, u can always get help for her before she goes out and sucks a **** load of ****!

i personally don't trust her if she hasn't even think about this option and just went and ****ed another man!

 

[donking]

You can try closed divorce.

 

[Married Buried]

Wife wants open marriage? Why don't you just DP your wife with whatever man she likes? It would probably turn her on.

 

[Married502]

I agree with most above. It seems that she is done with you and the marriage but maybe her or her family have an issue with divorce. This doesn't mean it's over. Try therapy, you two should see a therapist together and each see the same one separately. If you see different therapists your therapist will cause more issues. They will hear your side and give you advice to fix your problems. This will cause more. One therapist will get both of your versions with the combined one. If this marriage and family are worth it then fight for it. While being ready to fight for it doesn't mean get beat up by it. Be prepared to walk away or you will get walked on, especially if she knows you are willing to work on it no matter what.