If you smoke weed just to calm down, get something else to help you calm down.
Try Kava tea. Its so good, you have to be 18 to get it some places and its legal [for now(knowing the idiots who run this country, as soon as they find out people are enjoying it they'll out law it)].
Why does your wife hate weed? Just the illegality of it? The "health effects" of it? Educate yourself on weed then educate her on it and maybe she'll calm down. Fix your relationship before you educate her on it and introduce the idea of pot being a bogeyman slowly because women don't forget ****.