Wife is only interested in baby...

[lifeisgood]

Dear Scaramouche,
Apology accepted wholeheartedly.
Indeed, I too am very fond of Joseph Conrad.
It was books like Lord Jim that have led me to seek adventure in the four corners of the world. After vagabonding around for eleven years, who would have thought where I ended up! It is pretty but barren down here and oh so cold at the moment,-without my Fraeulein...
It was a beautiful woman of course that took the wind out of my sails.
Even without stumbling upon the secret brotherhood of persuasion, I have done quite well in my past and felt that I have had my share of woman, thus I was ready to settle down. Now this ships anchor seems to have come undone in a storm. Time to hoist the sails!
Excuse the ramblings of the not so old man by the sea.
Salute

 

[Tictac]

Your wife is 4 months post-partum with your first child.

She may or may not have post-partum depression.

She may or may not be a BPD case.

Meanwhile, you are not a medical doctor nor are you a psychiatrist. Yet you have diagnosed her and absolved yourself of any responsibility for what is going on in your new family.

All you are doing here is attempting to justify your behavior and your situation and seeing how large a cheering section you can gather.

Man up.

 

[lifeisgood]

Tictac,
Thank you for opinion.
I see where you are coming from with your advice. I have been hanging in there since 4 months before the birth, when my wife really started to become abusive.
Signs for BPD were there all along, since I first met her, I was just to clueless about it and in 'honeymoon' mode.
My intention was always to at least be there for the first year, hoping things would improve.
Despite my efforts her behaviour is getting worse. I have been hit hard multiple times, screamed at more than I care to remember or than can be good for the baby. Some of my personal stuff got destroyed. In fact, I am emotionally attacked from her whilst I write this,-via text messaging.
How much more do you suggest I endure?
Have you got experience in this?
I have many friends who are fathers. Despite going through rough patches themselves when their children were born, none of them went through what they see me going through.
I would like to believe there is hope but I do not want to go down as a martyr.
I am still hanging in there, but now, for the first time I feel like I actually know what is going on. It feels empowering, not to walk in the dark anymore.
I am manning up and will not tolerate to be attacked anymore.

 

[Tictac]

I do have experience with this LIG.

If she's hitting you and busting up stuff, call the cops.

Get this stuff documented. Have her removed if that's what it takes.

That way, you and your daughter can be protected.

No one should put up with physical violence and threats

If she won't get help, get you and your daughter to safety.

Maybe not what you singed on for. But this is real and you need to make sure that both you and your daughter are safe and can live in peace.

 

[lifeisgood]

Tictac,
That is one of the reasons I am happy not to be living under one roof with her at the moment.
All her aggression is directed towards me, whereas She is absolutely brilliant with our daughter, loving, caring and happy. I would never want to part them, our little daughter needs her breastfeeding mum more than me and loves her dearly.
If need be I will stay away so Mum can remain calm, -which we both agreed upon as it's in the best interest of our child.
I was at the cop station before but could not bring myself to make a report as Child support would get involved and possibly take the baby away!?
Seriously, she is a loving mother, there has been no self harming either, just hard emotions and actions towards me.
I cannot tell you how difficult this situation feels.
Anyways, thank's for your consideration.

 

[Tictac]

If you tolerate violence in your home, you are not thinking about your daughter's wellbeing. Just because crazy **** hasn't happened to your daughter yet, doesn't mean that it won't at any time.

You are engaging in fantasy.

Why would social services even think of taking you daughter if a violent parent was documented and/or removed? They wouldn't.

Rationalize all you like. This isn't about your daughter. It's about you. Make it easy on yourself.

I'm done here.

Whatever happens next is fully on you.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Life is good,
I am coming to like you,I started my working life with German Bricklayers,they were ex SS men...hard..but with a contradictory sentimental side....They taught me to work...your story of Returning Home to your Mum,touched me,it reminded me of a Song my Mother used to sing with tears in her eyes..
It is ten lonely years,since he left Englands shores,
In a far distant Country to roam..
How he longs to return to his dear Native Land,
In the hearts of her Children so dear..
Your Story is classical,having a Kid messes with their Hormones...I had two wives having Children with both...the first one became introverted and celibate...The second became quite horny used to pounce on me when I came home...My Advice:Start preparing for a struggle,things rarely get better,You live in one of the few places in this Nation where there are heaps of lonely Women,many very good Women,Old Stock...better check a few out on RSVP...Thousands...this will give you confidence,if she feels that you are quite prepared to bail out if she doesn't improve her behaviour,things will improve for a while at least....what I interpret as hormonal could of course be a return to her norm...Good luck!

 

[Zunder]

Weirdest fvcking thread I must say. We go from tallking about a gals smelly arsehole in one thread, to Joseph Conrad in this one.