Why you SHOULDNT want to move out of the friends zone

[aftershock]

(Hey everyone - been reading the site a while. I thought I'd actually start to contribute some things useful! I actually have a HB 9 LTR, but I thought I'd help other guys out. Why not, eh?)

So I'm seeing a lot of threads about the dreaded "friends zone", and wanting to move out of it.

ANY thread about the friends zone will have the underlying tone that they WANT TO MOVE OUT OF IT. I have plenty of female friends, but I don't consider myself in the friends zone - we are merely FRIENDS (They may want me, but lifes tough), because I don't want to have a relationship with them.

Anyway...I remember sex ed at school. Most of it taught us how to treat women life AFCs, you know, all the usual rubbish. I think we can all recall. However, there was one valuable quote that my sex ed teacher gave us. He was talking about how guys often fancy girls, but dont ask them out. And think about them all the time. Oneitis, if you will.

And he said, if by any chance that you actually get this girl, then you might not be as happy as you think. Because in your fantasties, you can CONTROL this person. You make them do whatever you see fit, in life and in the bedroom. But once you go out with them, they are a real person. You can't control them.

Because you have set your standards for the relationship so high, they CANNOT be fulfilled. Which means that you will ALWAYS be dissapointed with the relationship.

Also, theres the old balance of power. Whoever likes the other person the least has CONTROL of the relationship. You will NOT be in CONTROL, and as being a DJ requires you to BE A MAN, you can't DJ them. Which means, no matter what, you will turn into an AFC with this one girl. And we all know what happens to AFCs.



Perhaps there are guys that can back me up on this. I know I can from my past experience.

Comments?

 

[Pure Drive +]

I like them because of the person they are. Not because of the person I force them to be in my mind.

 

[christz]

i don't get it but i'll add something

i'm all about PUTTING myself in the friends zone, mostly because i know that these girls will stick with me in the long run, i can see from a distance how these girls are, be around them and know everything about them, basiclly become really good friends sometimes even best friends. And then after however long that takes date them and 90% of the time it turns into an LTR

any other girl not worth that time i persue STR or a screw. although ONS's don't sit with me well

 

[escobar04]

well, i have plenty of fine-a$$ female friends but I really don't see myself dating any one of them

it's a completely different thing when you know somebody from High School and onto college

I see them as sisters or something

 

[Qualtran]

What you said explains quite a bit about my current situation and others in the past. I end up being an AFC with girls that I really like, but do very well with the ones I'm not as interested in. The last two LTRs I was in were with girls that were always more into me than I was into them, and I always had complete control. Although I would have made a DJ proud in those relationships, I lost interest and broke things off with both of them.

Now, I'm dealing with the opposite where I met a girl I really really like and strongly pursued her in an AFC way. I've become more into her than she is into me, and I rarely stood back to let her come my way. Now its at that point where I'm doing the whole pulling my feelings for her away so that I may salvage the situation.

I think the take home message is: it is essential that a DJ never let a girl know his interest level is above hers.

 

[Mack 86]

You tend to be yourself around an ugly b1tch becuase they come a dime a dozen but when you have a dime you watch your step.

 

[JackPrescott]

It's possible as anything is, it is just unlikely. USUALLY when a woman places you there, it's because she DOESNT want to sleep with you. She only wants you as a "girlfriend" ....the only real way around this is to bring another woman in the picture, at that point, she will either be happy for you, or want to take you "away" from her.

 

[BeLoSH]

in the subject of girl "friends" i agree to have them but at a very limited amount. for 2 reasons:
1 iv found i can only trust a small amount of women like i can do my friends. that may just be from what i have learned and experienced but for me it works, and can be very useful
2 too many of them makes you look like an afc.....

 

[SMOAK]

Interesting post aftershock-> make em think about it

Pimp your girl "friends" to get women who will worship your a** which will only enslave your "friends" to your game->repeat cycle

 

[aftershock]

To suppliment what I said...being a DJ is about getting QUALITY women, not your average ho. And having QUALITY relationships.

An ex friend zone girl won't be a QUALITY relationship. SHE WILL WALK ALL OVER YOU!

Of course, theres exceptions to every rule. But don't bank on it.

 

[johnny_chase]

Every so often, i stop coming here for whatever reason, be it school, or work, or whatever. Every so often curiosity gets the best of me, and i stop by. This is by far the best thing I have read around here in a while.

And he said, if by any chance that you actually get this girl, then you might not be as happy as you think. Because in your fantasties, you can CONTROL this person. You make them do whatever you see fit, in life and in the bedroom. But once you go out with them, they are a real person. You can't control them.

Because you have set your standards for the relationship so high, they CANNOT be fulfilled. Which means that you will ALWAYS be dissapointed with the relationship.

I want to elaborate on this point, and on the AFC thing too.

I think the first key realisation for anyone trying to improve themselves is to realise that these little "techniques", or strategies as i call them, are not control methods. They do not enable you to have total control of a situation, they just allow you to tackle them more effieciently. I think most guys are control freaks at heart, and being out of control is a great fear, thus the number of failed relationships, marriages, wtv.

Second thing, about afc's. Being an afc isnt so bad. The best part is you dont even know you are, because you dont know what the term is. IMHO, AFC is a term invented by marketing guru's to get you to fill your credit card information into those speed dating websites. I know many afc's who have happy, fulfilling relationships, and i say power to them.

Around here, i sense a little bit of animosity towards the 'afc' that gets the hot girls 'without trying' while everyone else is busting their balls. This comes back to the matter of control. You cant control women. They are individuals, searching for the EXACT SAME THING YOU ARE. When you go to a bar and check out all the girls, guess what, you jsut got checked out by at least ten of the girls there! It's the way it works, it's the norm. It's normal to hook up with girls! AFC's dont exist in the real world, just here on this board.

Anyways, i think i went a little off topic, sorry about that.