I've met a lot of women in my life and generally I never become affected by them, you meet some, have fun with some, you win some and you lose some, but you move on when you need to, thinking "oh well..." as there are always lots of fish out there ready to catch. Well I met my nemesis, someone who got to me - I've noticed a similar pattern on this forum with generally "untouchable" guys being affected by a woman and these women generally have personality disorders (PDs), yep, I fell into that group, you guessed it, she being clinically diagnosed manic depressive. So when she was good she was amazing, when she was bad she was horrid.....
Some background here
So things kind of ended, I decided I needed to move on using the good old tried and tested NC. Anyway, I reached 60 days in the face of her trying to break me a few times with sweet contact messages, and as many people find after 60 days I felt good, sorted, cured, resolute had met a few other women, I thought I'd broken the addictive cycle. So in a moment of over-confident madness I decided to contact her to see how she was. In my mind it would do no harm it was just a touching base friendly thing, after all, I'm pretty much friends with all my exes!
Anyway in little or no time that little bit of contact turned into the friendly, flirty connection I'd shared with her before and my reminiscing for the good times left remission and the disease for yearning of her and her contact returned. The trouble is without realising it dawned on me that I was mostly instigating contact and she was fairly reactionary, so in effect I was there just to serve her ego and she was likely being polite by replying. That dynamic just makes the person doing the chasing (me) more and more addicted.
I know she's probably in another guy's castle but I was foolish enough to leave the safety of mine. I'm going back to not contacting, with a hard lesson learnt. But why was I so stupid and am I alone falling into this trap? Addiction is best broken by sustained abstinence, I should have stuck with NC.
Anyone else broken NC without getting tangled up again, or been in this boat and like to share their wisdom and advice?
Some background here
So things kind of ended, I decided I needed to move on using the good old tried and tested NC. Anyway, I reached 60 days in the face of her trying to break me a few times with sweet contact messages, and as many people find after 60 days I felt good, sorted, cured, resolute had met a few other women, I thought I'd broken the addictive cycle. So in a moment of over-confident madness I decided to contact her to see how she was. In my mind it would do no harm it was just a touching base friendly thing, after all, I'm pretty much friends with all my exes!
Anyway in little or no time that little bit of contact turned into the friendly, flirty connection I'd shared with her before and my reminiscing for the good times left remission and the disease for yearning of her and her contact returned. The trouble is without realising it dawned on me that I was mostly instigating contact and she was fairly reactionary, so in effect I was there just to serve her ego and she was likely being polite by replying. That dynamic just makes the person doing the chasing (me) more and more addicted.
I know she's probably in another guy's castle but I was foolish enough to leave the safety of mine. I'm going back to not contacting, with a hard lesson learnt. But why was I so stupid and am I alone falling into this trap? Addiction is best broken by sustained abstinence, I should have stuck with NC.
Anyone else broken NC without getting tangled up again, or been in this boat and like to share their wisdom and advice?
