seloifter
Senior Don Juan
Most aspiring DJs, who have memorized all the Bible Rules, will be able to tell you that you must always be a jerk, and you must have social proof.
Let's explore this a little further.
Why must we always be jerks? The aspiring DJs recite, as though by memory - yet not by understanding - "girls are not attracted to nice guys, they are attracted to jerks." How true, yet how shallow a perception.
One more level of depth.
What is a jerk? I couldn't possible tell you. If you tried to read every single article, post, or even book, that explains what exactly a jerk was, you could be here a while. But, at the risk of not doing justice to the true beauty of what a jerk really is, I will attempt to summarize the essence of a jerk: A jerk is mysterious, confident, and very uneasily impressed by others (and of course he's generally funny).
Funny how the three tie together. Someone who is very confident in himself is not concerned with others' opinions of him. He doesn't care what others think. As far as he's concerned, he's the most important being on this planet. Why should he be impressed by a HB? This self-assurance makes one think "What makes him so confident? What has he got up his sleeve that makes him so god damn sure of himself? How come he doesn't roll over for all the pretty girls..... does he think he's better than them, or is he just not attracted??" Mystery. Ahhhh...... the golden word, which flows off the DJs tongue with such passion and wonder they could write an Arabian Nights story about it.
Now that we've escaped from that dangerous trap of attempting to define a jerk, let's move back out to our second level, and take a look at social proof.
Once again, this is nothing but a trap. Pages and pages could be (and have been) written on this topic. But, once again, for the sake of NOT keeping you here all day (as much as I do love to take up your time), let's try to simplify and summarize. Social proof is when you have something going on around and about you which is so impressive that people stop and think "wow, if that guy has all that going on, he must REALLY be worth something". HOLY ****!! COULD THAT BE MYSTERY?? Amazing how everything ties in together, no?
All the aspiring DJs stare in awe at the beauty of the cycle, and take a deep breath. (I hope at this point you really are taking a deep breath... I know this is getting long but keep that oxygen flowing, buddy!)
OK OK, finally we have escaped - and hopefully at this point we've clarified (or at least reiterated) a little bit about the essences of "Being a jerk" and "Social proof"
"Oh, but doesn't this prove that you SHOULD always be a jerk? It's mystery! Stop while you're ahead!"
Enough. We may be ahead, but a true DJ is never content with his lead.
The Matrix: Reloaded
Anyhow.... Being a jerk is all fine and dandy, but one cannot ALWAYS be a jerk. It is inhumane. Think of all the poor girls' hearts you'll be breaking, because every single one of them will be attracted to you - and you will only ahve time for two or three dozen of othem at most. Of course, this slight exaggeration isn't the reason why you shouldn't always be a jerk.
The reason you shouldn't always be a jerk has to do with SOCIAL PROOF (wow, this guy is pretty good at tying things together, eh?!)
Think about it. IF you are ALWAYS a jerk..... isn't that a little repetitive? Where is the mystery? "Oh, that guy's such a jerk!" says HB1. While at one time her friend HB2 might have nodded her head but really thought "He sounds pretty interesting.... I'm going to meet him and see if it's true.... or if I can change him!", now she simply laughs and says "Well, duh! Everyone knows that!"
Where is the MYSTERY?
Before you go looking under your computer desk and call a search party, I'll tell you that it's quite simply gone. Not altogether, of course - as a jerk always has a mysterious edge to him..... but it's not quite as strong as it could be.
"Oh, tell us, for we grow impatient from your circumlocutions, how exactly could it be as strong as it could be?"
I'm getting to that..... simply allow me to circumlocute some more.
Imagine now that HB1 says "That guy is such a jerk!" and HB2 goes over to the infamous "That Guy" to find out if it's true - but instead discovers "That Guy" is actually a very sweet, nice, and amicable person! One might go so far as to say he is an AFC (but let's not, because it makes me cringe to imagine "That Guy", who is a very good friend of mine whom I've known for the last few paragraphs, could be an AFC!). "That's odd," says HB2. "I thought he was a jerk! HOW MYSTERIOUS!!!"
AHA! The mystery is returning! But, the problem with this situation is that HB2 will eventually grow bored of "That Guy"s AFCness, and the mystery will vanish so quickly it would put Houdini to shame.
Now, don't lose hope just yet. Let's follow this wonderful story and see where it goes.
But before I go on, a word from our sponsors. You must remember that women DO like AFCs.... they just wouldn't date one. Remember when you were an AFC, you had tons of female friends (regardless of whether or not you wanted them). In fact, it seemed even girls you didn't know wanted to "just be friends"!!! Anyway, I digress.
HB2, after having a somewhat pleasant conversation with "That Guy", gives a field report to HB1. "I don't know WHAT you were talking about," HB2 says in slight disappointment, "That Guy is such a nice, sweet guy!"
Now, what do you think is going in HB1's head? "What?? I thought he was teh biggest jerk around! Yet this girl thinks he's sweet? HOW MYSTERIOUS!!"
Pretty soon she begins to wonder "How come he was nice to her but not to me? Does he just really not like me? How come he doesn't like me? Every guy likes me! I will MAKE him like me!"
Now we are returning to the essence of a jerk. That is the typical HB responce towards a jerk. But this time it is doubly enforced, because SHE KNOWS he's not REALLY a jerk! As far as she's concerned, "That Guy" is a really sweet guy who, for some reason, really dislikes HB1!! And, I can tell you just as well as the next guy, that GIRLS CANNOT STAND BEING DISLIKED! And they will do anything within their means to change someone's bad opinion of them.
Now, just as it is beginning to make sense, let me show you what I mean with a little example of my personal experience.
Back in my AFC days, I made quite a good number of female friends, including one whom I met in a chatroom (lived all the way accross teh country in pa, but still). Naturally, she always described me as a very "nice, sweet guy". I didn't talk to her much during the past year or two, but she IM'd me one day and explained that she had told a friend of hers about how sweet I was, and gave me her screen name. This "friend" then messaged me. I proceded to be a jerk towards her. Not severely, but lightly. The result was astounding. I've never had a girl react so well (through the internet, that is) to my DJing. She messaged me about twice a day asking "are you there?", tried to get my phone number, etc. etc. I thought it was amusing, but started to ignore her. She only tried harder.
Now, you may be thinking "that's great and all..... but don't you get the same results just being a jerk?"
Of course. But the results aren't nearly so good. You see, this creates even MORE mystery (and any dj will tell you, you can never have enough of that!) than just simply being a jerk, and it drives women's curiosety, and consequently IL, through the roof!
Here is a simple guide: Don't ALWAYS be a jerk. There are two types of girls. The first kind is the kind you wanna fvck. The second kind is the kind you can use to get teh first one to fvck you.
ONLY be a jerk to the first type. Be a "nice guy" with the second type. This works brilliantly in many ways. First off, you don't run the risk of getting those ugly *****es to fall in love with you, making you ahve to deal with them, and their friends who will refuse to date you because of their friend who likes you. Second off, it creates AMAZING social proof. And third, my personal favorite, because I've used this word so many god damn times throughout this post (and I'm sure you can all see it coming).... MYSTERY! I don't think I need to explain again why the mystery is created, and why it works so well. Just remember that it does
With all that said, I'm impressed that you've managed to stick with me throughout this mammoth of a post.
I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes, whom is attributed to a man who has taken the name of one of the most classic Don Juans in fiction.......
Giovanni Casanova
Let's explore this a little further.
Why must we always be jerks? The aspiring DJs recite, as though by memory - yet not by understanding - "girls are not attracted to nice guys, they are attracted to jerks." How true, yet how shallow a perception.
One more level of depth.
What is a jerk? I couldn't possible tell you. If you tried to read every single article, post, or even book, that explains what exactly a jerk was, you could be here a while. But, at the risk of not doing justice to the true beauty of what a jerk really is, I will attempt to summarize the essence of a jerk: A jerk is mysterious, confident, and very uneasily impressed by others (and of course he's generally funny).
Funny how the three tie together. Someone who is very confident in himself is not concerned with others' opinions of him. He doesn't care what others think. As far as he's concerned, he's the most important being on this planet. Why should he be impressed by a HB? This self-assurance makes one think "What makes him so confident? What has he got up his sleeve that makes him so god damn sure of himself? How come he doesn't roll over for all the pretty girls..... does he think he's better than them, or is he just not attracted??" Mystery. Ahhhh...... the golden word, which flows off the DJs tongue with such passion and wonder they could write an Arabian Nights story about it.
Now that we've escaped from that dangerous trap of attempting to define a jerk, let's move back out to our second level, and take a look at social proof.
Once again, this is nothing but a trap. Pages and pages could be (and have been) written on this topic. But, once again, for the sake of NOT keeping you here all day (as much as I do love to take up your time), let's try to simplify and summarize. Social proof is when you have something going on around and about you which is so impressive that people stop and think "wow, if that guy has all that going on, he must REALLY be worth something". HOLY ****!! COULD THAT BE MYSTERY?? Amazing how everything ties in together, no?
All the aspiring DJs stare in awe at the beauty of the cycle, and take a deep breath. (I hope at this point you really are taking a deep breath... I know this is getting long but keep that oxygen flowing, buddy!)
OK OK, finally we have escaped - and hopefully at this point we've clarified (or at least reiterated) a little bit about the essences of "Being a jerk" and "Social proof"
"Oh, but doesn't this prove that you SHOULD always be a jerk? It's mystery! Stop while you're ahead!"
Enough. We may be ahead, but a true DJ is never content with his lead.
The Matrix: Reloaded
I quote this, because now it is CLEARLY true what I said.... after all..... I quoted it! And from a reliable source!
Anyhow.... Being a jerk is all fine and dandy, but one cannot ALWAYS be a jerk. It is inhumane. Think of all the poor girls' hearts you'll be breaking, because every single one of them will be attracted to you - and you will only ahve time for two or three dozen of othem at most. Of course, this slight exaggeration isn't the reason why you shouldn't always be a jerk.
The reason you shouldn't always be a jerk has to do with SOCIAL PROOF (wow, this guy is pretty good at tying things together, eh?!)
Think about it. IF you are ALWAYS a jerk..... isn't that a little repetitive? Where is the mystery? "Oh, that guy's such a jerk!" says HB1. While at one time her friend HB2 might have nodded her head but really thought "He sounds pretty interesting.... I'm going to meet him and see if it's true.... or if I can change him!", now she simply laughs and says "Well, duh! Everyone knows that!"
Where is the MYSTERY?
Before you go looking under your computer desk and call a search party, I'll tell you that it's quite simply gone. Not altogether, of course - as a jerk always has a mysterious edge to him..... but it's not quite as strong as it could be.
"Oh, tell us, for we grow impatient from your circumlocutions, how exactly could it be as strong as it could be?"
I'm getting to that..... simply allow me to circumlocute some more.
Imagine now that HB1 says "That guy is such a jerk!" and HB2 goes over to the infamous "That Guy" to find out if it's true - but instead discovers "That Guy" is actually a very sweet, nice, and amicable person! One might go so far as to say he is an AFC (but let's not, because it makes me cringe to imagine "That Guy", who is a very good friend of mine whom I've known for the last few paragraphs, could be an AFC!). "That's odd," says HB2. "I thought he was a jerk! HOW MYSTERIOUS!!!"
AHA! The mystery is returning! But, the problem with this situation is that HB2 will eventually grow bored of "That Guy"s AFCness, and the mystery will vanish so quickly it would put Houdini to shame.
Now, don't lose hope just yet. Let's follow this wonderful story and see where it goes.
But before I go on, a word from our sponsors. You must remember that women DO like AFCs.... they just wouldn't date one. Remember when you were an AFC, you had tons of female friends (regardless of whether or not you wanted them). In fact, it seemed even girls you didn't know wanted to "just be friends"!!! Anyway, I digress.
HB2, after having a somewhat pleasant conversation with "That Guy", gives a field report to HB1. "I don't know WHAT you were talking about," HB2 says in slight disappointment, "That Guy is such a nice, sweet guy!"
Now, what do you think is going in HB1's head? "What?? I thought he was teh biggest jerk around! Yet this girl thinks he's sweet? HOW MYSTERIOUS!!"
Pretty soon she begins to wonder "How come he was nice to her but not to me? Does he just really not like me? How come he doesn't like me? Every guy likes me! I will MAKE him like me!"
Now we are returning to the essence of a jerk. That is the typical HB responce towards a jerk. But this time it is doubly enforced, because SHE KNOWS he's not REALLY a jerk! As far as she's concerned, "That Guy" is a really sweet guy who, for some reason, really dislikes HB1!! And, I can tell you just as well as the next guy, that GIRLS CANNOT STAND BEING DISLIKED! And they will do anything within their means to change someone's bad opinion of them.
Now, just as it is beginning to make sense, let me show you what I mean with a little example of my personal experience.
Back in my AFC days, I made quite a good number of female friends, including one whom I met in a chatroom (lived all the way accross teh country in pa, but still). Naturally, she always described me as a very "nice, sweet guy". I didn't talk to her much during the past year or two, but she IM'd me one day and explained that she had told a friend of hers about how sweet I was, and gave me her screen name. This "friend" then messaged me. I proceded to be a jerk towards her. Not severely, but lightly. The result was astounding. I've never had a girl react so well (through the internet, that is) to my DJing. She messaged me about twice a day asking "are you there?", tried to get my phone number, etc. etc. I thought it was amusing, but started to ignore her. She only tried harder.
Now, you may be thinking "that's great and all..... but don't you get the same results just being a jerk?"
Of course. But the results aren't nearly so good. You see, this creates even MORE mystery (and any dj will tell you, you can never have enough of that!) than just simply being a jerk, and it drives women's curiosety, and consequently IL, through the roof!
Here is a simple guide: Don't ALWAYS be a jerk. There are two types of girls. The first kind is the kind you wanna fvck. The second kind is the kind you can use to get teh first one to fvck you.
ONLY be a jerk to the first type. Be a "nice guy" with the second type. This works brilliantly in many ways. First off, you don't run the risk of getting those ugly *****es to fall in love with you, making you ahve to deal with them, and their friends who will refuse to date you because of their friend who likes you. Second off, it creates AMAZING social proof. And third, my personal favorite, because I've used this word so many god damn times throughout this post (and I'm sure you can all see it coming).... MYSTERY! I don't think I need to explain again why the mystery is created, and why it works so well. Just remember that it does
With all that said, I'm impressed that you've managed to stick with me throughout this mammoth of a post.
I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes, whom is attributed to a man who has taken the name of one of the most classic Don Juans in fiction.......
Giovanni Casanova
