Hi DJs,
Writing this post to encourage you guys to stay no contact. I'm sure you will find some useful lesson in this story. Here's what happened to me: Recently (this summer) a girl moved in next door and within 2 weeks we started talking. But I'm not really big on talking on the phone whether texting or calling, so naturally I set up a date for us to chill pretty quickly. She told me she smokes and although I don't, I usually have some ganja just to entertain my women guests if they do partake. She decided she would cook for our first time handing out and that I should come over. I bought something (alcoholic) to drink for myself, and the ganja for her. He hung out that night and had a pretty good vibe. She is sexy. I made the move on her and we made out and ended up having sex that same night.
As she puts it, I was "living the dream". I was a 31 year old man, killing my (hot) 18 year old neighbor. She was absolutely right.
(For older gentlemen involved with younger girls, observe my pitfall, and don't make the same mistakes)
We were having sex for several weeks before I fell ill and could not have sex for about a week and a half. But I didn't mind because this girl was draining me almost every night (and if she could get me to lay pipe in the morning she would gladly accept). I was glad to get some rest because of my short illness since, in the week prior to me falling ill, I was starting to make excuses when I would get her inviting texts: "come over if you want your d1ck sucked" or some other sexy message that left my jaw unhinged. "Sorry babe, can't come, I have to run to the grocery". Looking back on this, wth was I thinking??
In fairness to myself, I'm a pretty fit guy. I exercise for 30 min/5 times a week, but this girl was something else, and on top of that, I would have to work pretty long hours at work and my job is very stressful so I would be mentally drained. I knew we would not make it inasmuch as we were incompatible because of our mentality/hobbies/habits (she was a daily smoker, occasional pill popper). Our connection was that we were both home-bodies and had the same taste in music. Because of this I avoided buying any more weed for her, and tried to cut back with spending money on her in general (in the way of planning dates, etc). I was basically trying to keep things super player (to a fault) and just have a buddy to have sex with, but I was catching some feelings on the low. Admittedly, I could have put forth a greater effort to drill her into bed every night, but she was so into me sexually (she would get wet with just a simple touch from me) that I had the thought that maybe, just maybe, withholding sex from her some nights would make her even more infatuated with me? You guys will tell me if I'm mistaken or if this thought is just downright foolish since I've recently heard the saying that "there's nothing a woman despises more than a man she invites into her bed but doesn't go".
Moving on. After I recover from my illness, she goes on her period, and then the break up comes: I pick up the vibe that something is off with her energy. And one day, when I was supposed to go over to her place, she texts me not to come because she is with a friend. Two days after I go over to her and kissing on her she stops me and says we have to talk. She rolls out a long laundry list of things I have not been doing including only having sex with her 3 times a week, not opening up to her emotionally (only making small talk when I am with her but not revealing anything meaningful), that I come over and just sit stressed out about my job while she tries to make me feel better but just ends up absorbing all my negative energy; that I should not sleep in her bed if I am not going to pipe her down, and that I took advantage of her since I knew I would not be staying in this state and that she was wasting time with me when she could be out finding her future husband. (me not staying in state came out during the argument. Admittedly, I thought I made this clear but she misunderstood). Bottom line I told her she basically sidelined me with all this stuff.
Gentlemen, I was caught completely off guard, but I did know two thing, she had planned this very well and that there was some other guy in the picture.
1 week after this argument and no contact. I started seeing a guy sleeping over. This broke me. Although I play "the game" and I knew me and my neighbor would not last, I was upset to see this happening right in front my face (every night) and it made me regret ever going "grocery shopping". I knew she wasn't mine and it was just my turn, but I was still bothered seeing this. I couldn't help but look out my window for a recurring dose of pain. But although I was hurting I showed no outward signs. I started going out again, meeting people, flirting, getting back into hobbies and other things I should have been doing to broaden my life. I stopped being an energy vampire to those around me because of the stress I was dealing with at my job. I am still learning how to successfully deal with my stress (pointers would be helpful).
Anyway, I caved and texted her that she was wrong and that I did care about her and wasn't intentionally taking advantage of her. My message was short and I tried as much as possible to:
1). Not sound like a simp.
2). Not sound like I wanted her back.
3.) Magnanimously let her go and accept that we were over.
However, breaking no contact is breaking no contact after all, and generally, the advice I get is that I made a wrong move to reach out. She replied that she had no hard feelings and that we could still be friends. Her text was short and without feeling --it made me feel like the argument was her trying to get me out of the way so she could move on with the new guy, and that she didn't really care to be friends, but found utility in it. I (foolishly?) accepted because I didn't want to seem bothered that we were through. But both times since she has reached out to me, its asking for me for advice/favor. So far I have held up, but alas, this is the lesson gents: When you break no contact, you will be at worst-- a simp that is begging to have her back, and at best-- someone she can use conveniently.
Perhaps there are other lessons in here too, such as: if you're older, don't act like a bore, still be exciting, talk, LAY THE PIPE. Because women will always have other men waiting for their chance, waiting to have a stab at it (pun intended).
Maybe there are more reasons for us ending that she did not mention, maybe the reasons she gave for the breakup are all horse crap, maybe the other guy treated her better and bothered to spend time and money with her and genuinely liked her, I don't know. I have only now, after 3 weeks, come to terms with never really knowing in full. Let me know what you guys think. I joined this group just to share this story, but looking forward to sharing (success) stories in the future.
Writing this post to encourage you guys to stay no contact. I'm sure you will find some useful lesson in this story. Here's what happened to me: Recently (this summer) a girl moved in next door and within 2 weeks we started talking. But I'm not really big on talking on the phone whether texting or calling, so naturally I set up a date for us to chill pretty quickly. She told me she smokes and although I don't, I usually have some ganja just to entertain my women guests if they do partake. She decided she would cook for our first time handing out and that I should come over. I bought something (alcoholic) to drink for myself, and the ganja for her. He hung out that night and had a pretty good vibe. She is sexy. I made the move on her and we made out and ended up having sex that same night.
As she puts it, I was "living the dream". I was a 31 year old man, killing my (hot) 18 year old neighbor. She was absolutely right.
(For older gentlemen involved with younger girls, observe my pitfall, and don't make the same mistakes)
We were having sex for several weeks before I fell ill and could not have sex for about a week and a half. But I didn't mind because this girl was draining me almost every night (and if she could get me to lay pipe in the morning she would gladly accept). I was glad to get some rest because of my short illness since, in the week prior to me falling ill, I was starting to make excuses when I would get her inviting texts: "come over if you want your d1ck sucked" or some other sexy message that left my jaw unhinged. "Sorry babe, can't come, I have to run to the grocery". Looking back on this, wth was I thinking??
In fairness to myself, I'm a pretty fit guy. I exercise for 30 min/5 times a week, but this girl was something else, and on top of that, I would have to work pretty long hours at work and my job is very stressful so I would be mentally drained. I knew we would not make it inasmuch as we were incompatible because of our mentality/hobbies/habits (she was a daily smoker, occasional pill popper). Our connection was that we were both home-bodies and had the same taste in music. Because of this I avoided buying any more weed for her, and tried to cut back with spending money on her in general (in the way of planning dates, etc). I was basically trying to keep things super player (to a fault) and just have a buddy to have sex with, but I was catching some feelings on the low. Admittedly, I could have put forth a greater effort to drill her into bed every night, but she was so into me sexually (she would get wet with just a simple touch from me) that I had the thought that maybe, just maybe, withholding sex from her some nights would make her even more infatuated with me? You guys will tell me if I'm mistaken or if this thought is just downright foolish since I've recently heard the saying that "there's nothing a woman despises more than a man she invites into her bed but doesn't go".
Moving on. After I recover from my illness, she goes on her period, and then the break up comes: I pick up the vibe that something is off with her energy. And one day, when I was supposed to go over to her place, she texts me not to come because she is with a friend. Two days after I go over to her and kissing on her she stops me and says we have to talk. She rolls out a long laundry list of things I have not been doing including only having sex with her 3 times a week, not opening up to her emotionally (only making small talk when I am with her but not revealing anything meaningful), that I come over and just sit stressed out about my job while she tries to make me feel better but just ends up absorbing all my negative energy; that I should not sleep in her bed if I am not going to pipe her down, and that I took advantage of her since I knew I would not be staying in this state and that she was wasting time with me when she could be out finding her future husband. (me not staying in state came out during the argument. Admittedly, I thought I made this clear but she misunderstood). Bottom line I told her she basically sidelined me with all this stuff.
Gentlemen, I was caught completely off guard, but I did know two thing, she had planned this very well and that there was some other guy in the picture.
1 week after this argument and no contact. I started seeing a guy sleeping over. This broke me. Although I play "the game" and I knew me and my neighbor would not last, I was upset to see this happening right in front my face (every night) and it made me regret ever going "grocery shopping". I knew she wasn't mine and it was just my turn, but I was still bothered seeing this. I couldn't help but look out my window for a recurring dose of pain. But although I was hurting I showed no outward signs. I started going out again, meeting people, flirting, getting back into hobbies and other things I should have been doing to broaden my life. I stopped being an energy vampire to those around me because of the stress I was dealing with at my job. I am still learning how to successfully deal with my stress (pointers would be helpful).
Anyway, I caved and texted her that she was wrong and that I did care about her and wasn't intentionally taking advantage of her. My message was short and I tried as much as possible to:
1). Not sound like a simp.
2). Not sound like I wanted her back.
3.) Magnanimously let her go and accept that we were over.
However, breaking no contact is breaking no contact after all, and generally, the advice I get is that I made a wrong move to reach out. She replied that she had no hard feelings and that we could still be friends. Her text was short and without feeling --it made me feel like the argument was her trying to get me out of the way so she could move on with the new guy, and that she didn't really care to be friends, but found utility in it. I (foolishly?) accepted because I didn't want to seem bothered that we were through. But both times since she has reached out to me, its asking for me for advice/favor. So far I have held up, but alas, this is the lesson gents: When you break no contact, you will be at worst-- a simp that is begging to have her back, and at best-- someone she can use conveniently.
Perhaps there are other lessons in here too, such as: if you're older, don't act like a bore, still be exciting, talk, LAY THE PIPE. Because women will always have other men waiting for their chance, waiting to have a stab at it (pun intended).
Maybe there are more reasons for us ending that she did not mention, maybe the reasons she gave for the breakup are all horse crap, maybe the other guy treated her better and bothered to spend time and money with her and genuinely liked her, I don't know. I have only now, after 3 weeks, come to terms with never really knowing in full. Let me know what you guys think. I joined this group just to share this story, but looking forward to sharing (success) stories in the future.
