Why you may not be getting laid.

[Caldus]

Originally posted by Tweek_1984
Here's my problem:

Ok, if any of you can explain this then I will read very closely to what you have to say because I haven't got a clue!

So I'm in a club or at a party or something and I've chatted up some girl to the point where we're giving eachother bedroom eyes, kino, etc.

Then the idiot gear kicks in and I'm like a rabbit caught in headlights. As soon as I sense that I'm on the verge of walking out the building with this girl, I get paranoid and sometime even depressed. Conversation dries up as I concentrate on trying to overcome this fear, but it doesn't work.

Yet, when the girl has given up on me and left, I am completely stumped as to why that would have happened.

It's like I'm sexually paranoid.

I still have my V card. Are these anxious feelings caused by my fear of popping my cherry? Maybe, i suppose but I'm not 100% sure to be honest.

Hmm ... weird ... never heard of someone having a problem like that. I usually have trouble even finding a girl that is approachable (she's always gotta be surrounded by like 10 guys I swear) in the first the place let alone even find a party like that.

I would say you're probably nervous that you wouldn't be good in bed since you have no experience yet. When you talk to these girls, try to remember how bad you feel every time you don't persue them further. That way you motivate yourself to finally take the extra step.

 

[Oxide]

Tweek, i think you are going through the same thing i went though when i was a virgin.


You value the V card too highly. Everything is cool with a girl until you get her to the point where she wants to fukk... then somewhere deep inside you think "I am gonna have sex with her?! She isnt good enough for me to lose my virginity with! No, no, screw this" and you shut down... nothing.

I dont know if this is what your case is, but for me this is the exact reason i would turn down sex left and right, playing it dumb.


I tell you what, life is MUCH easier after you lose your virginity.

 

[iveyleeger]

Tweek, why don't you get yourself an older woman. Unless you beat them off with a stick, they are gonna rape your azz. You can be stuck in passive mode and it will not matter. That will build your confidence. Then come back to the younger set.

Also, perhaps you don't want a disease? That is a valid concern. In that case, you really don't want to get busy with a girl from a club. You want to get a GF first, and then get her tested, and then do all the nasty business without worries.

So, gunwitch makes great points. Figure out why you don't want to get laid. Solve that issue, then you will stop flaking on yourself.

 

[iveyleeger]

Oxide,

Why do you want a 9-10? These girls are fukked up. Low self-esteem. High maintenance. Bad sex. Is it just a conquest? It doesn't seem worth it to me. These are best just for looking at from what I've gleaned (never fukked any myself).

 

[Tweek_1984]

Originally posted by iveyleeger


Also, perhaps you don't want a disease? That is a valid concern. In that case, you really don't want to get busy with a girl from a club. You want to get a GF first, and then get her tested, and then do all the nasty business without worries.

You see, I'd much rather have a girlfriend and lose my virginity to her rather than a one night stand, how ever good looking that particular one night stand is.

However, I'm 20 now and I'm starting to get really concerned about still holding the V card.

Its strange because now I've finished exams at college, all i want to do is go out and meet women. I'm hoping I'll get laid before I leave for the summer.

I think the question is, will I lose my integrity because I've lost my long-kept precious virginity to some slut that I'm only going to know for 10 hours?

 

[Oxide]

will I lose my integrity because I've lost my long-kept precious virginity to some slut that I'm only going to know for 10 hours?

Nope. You get over it rather quick..and then realize that fukking is great
It seems more and more to me that you are descrbing what i posted. For me virginity now is just something you need to get rid off once you are mature enough to make decisions about sex. (not going out and fukking girls without condoms as soon as discover it)

Find a cute girl. Have sex. Dont think there should be any attachment. Learn from that experience (where you can improve on techniques) and then go and enjoy yourself.

Honestly, ask any guy who's had more than 3 girls, virginity is not some kind of treasure... life is simpler without it.

 

[Visceral]

Originally posted by iveyleeger
Tweek, why don't you get yourself an older woman. Unless you beat them off with a stick, they are gonna rape your azz. You can be stuck in passive mode and it will not matter. That will build your confidence. Then come back to the younger set.

Older women sound like fun

 

[ThinWhiteDuke]

wrong thread

 

[bbestar]

teen sex
http://www.porn-free.org/teen_sex.htm

 

[NorPacWolf]

RELIGION IS ANOTHER FACTOR

Gunwitch's posts are classic. I advise everyone to read carefully whenever he posts. He's done a good job getting us all started on cataloguing so called "self limiting beliefs." These are irrational ideas we have, which in this case, prevent us from getting laid. I can easily see how self limiting beliefs, in other forms, can hinder us in other areas of our lives such as careers, family, wealth building, and so on but these are other topics for another day. One notion that I have to add is that some of us believe:

"it's wrong to have sex."

I wonder how anyone on this site has dealt with the religious question? A number of us have been brought up in very strict, religious households. How to overcome this type of programming? Anyone dealt with this issue successfully?

 

[SonOfTheMostHigh]

Re: RELIGION IS ANOTHER FACTOR

Originally posted by NorPacWolf
"it's wrong to have sex."

I wonder how anyone on this site has dealt with the religious question? A number of us have been brought up in very strict, religious households. How to overcome this type of programming? Anyone dealt with this issue successfully? [/B]

Yeah, lose your religious beliefs. Specifically using logic and reason, and go to sites like internet infidels to deprogram yourself. Religion IMHO is probably one of the #1 reasons why there are so many AFC's in the first place, so many parents of AFC guys themselves are f'd in the head, so its no small wonder there is no shortage of AFC's and messed up guys. Why should religious based dogma effect you? If you dont believe it then f'ck it.

 

[knglerxt]

Originally posted by WORKEROUTER
To the guys whining about having problem #1..This is just not believable! I am not f*cking buying it!

There are literally women EVERYWHERE. At the bus stop, in a coffee shop, at a book store, etc.!

And to the guy worried about developing a bad rep by getting rejected by a few girls...wtf are you thinking? Just be confident, talk to women, and ask some out...noone is going to start ostracizing you!

Yeah. There are women everywhere. But that only benefits you if know how to approach them. You're not going to meet random women in coffee shops, book stores, etc. unless you can approach them. If you can't do that, you might as well stay home and watch reruns of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

I'm in the same boat as those guys. I'm around girls everyday at college, but I just can't bring myself to approach people right out of the blue. In order for me to get comfortable enough around someone to really talk to them, I have to be around them over and over for an extended period of time. But, of course, I never get that chance.

 

[Tazman]

In order for me to get comfortable enough around someone to really talk to them, I have to be around them over and over for an extended period of time. But, of course, I never get that chance.

That's me for sure. I've been that way my whole life. Alcohol helps but it becomes a crutch if you rely on it. My two biggest fears are sexual performance and conversation, which happen to be the two most important skills needed to be successful with women...

It's interesting how women I'm not attracted to make it easier to approach them by either saying hi or making/holding eye contact long enough for me to make some kind of move without the awkwardness of having to initiate every single interaction not knowing whether it's welcome or not.

I just don't have it in me to approach a total stranger and "entertain" them long enough to convince them they should fvck me. I guess it takes practice, but that also means I have to make a fool out of myself in the process, which makes it hard to find the motivation to even try.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Alirhgt, somebody should forward bobman to this thread...

Until Than I'm gonna read this and give my take in a few days

 

[MightyMate]

Yes many guys dont score because they really are scared of it. They game, they talk with friends etc. But when they got woman near they aint getting laid. They said - Hey i was trying. But for real, its so easy to score if You really want to. You dont have to even speak too much.
I remember in HS i was dating lots of chicks but not scoring that much. Just when i was 20 i was getting laid even at 2nd date. I just knew how to do that. ANd i still do.

 

[everywomanshero]

Hold on a second

Women kill themselves at 10x the rate of men over lost lovers? Where is the reference for this? I'm not saying it's not true, because it might be for all I know, but I'd really like to see the source so I can check this out. I'd be interested in seeing how this survey was conducted. It conflicts the divorce-suicide statistics I regularly cite, of course this isn't marriage....still you'd think the findings would be closer.

Bars and Clubs are tough environments to be sure. However, they provide ample chances for interaction. I've gotten many lays and gfs out of the bar/club scene. You just have to put more energy into your approaches to get noticed. If you're ugly, you have to be damn good. As you've pointed out it also feels more natural to approach there even though you realize the success rate will be lower than a college campus. Starting convos in a coffee shop/cafe is easiest of all, though. The mall is probably the scariest environment to approach women in.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Re: Hold on a second

Originally posted by everywomanshero
Women kill themselves at 10x the rate of men over lost lovers? Where is the reference for this?

I think that is BS, every girl who committed on me was over either a really screwed up sexually childhood, or wanting to find her lover who committed suicide.

All the guys were over how pathetic their lives were. How they never made any change and only caused problems.

The guys problem happens more often than the females, and with the guys... some of em almost deserve it

 

[SonOfTheMostHigh]

Re: Re: Hold on a second

Originally posted by ethnomethodologist
and with the guys... some of em almost deserve it

I think its true but I dont think its correct to say people deserve it, just appreciate that severe depression is biological and physiological as well as psychological. Many guys mess up their lives yes, but its not as simple as "he did it to himself" his biology dictates how he's going to experience life. But fundamentally deep down the thing is even when things went well and were perfect they still weren't happy, no amount of game or living a perfect life can save you if at some fundamental you are dissatisfied with life overall and you're energy is being sucked away by just the regular grind of day to day living, things that anchored your will to live no longer have value to such a person and are in fact a lifesucking force.

 

[skip2mylou781]

gunwitch forgot to mention that being in a sexual state will make u WANT to get laid and be persistant