Why would a woman start a relationship with a man she knows is a player?

[sangheilios]

I can see why women fall for bad boys and get into short term flings with them, be fwbs and all of that.

However, can someone explain to me why a woman would enter into a relationship with a man that she knows is a player who uses women?

The guy in question is someone I know, he is attractive and decently fit but nothing like out of a magazine, I'd say he's a real world 7. The girl is pretty, again nothing out of a magazine but what any man would describe as cute, and is educated, intelligent and comes across as a good person.

I just don't understand why a woman like this would enter into a relationship with a man whose history she is fully aware of.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

I can see why women fall for bad boys and get into short term flings with them, be fwbs and all of that.

However, can someone explain to me why a woman would enter into a relationship with a man that she knows is a player who uses women?

The guy in question is someone I know, he is attractive and decently fit but nothing like out of a magazine, I'd say he's a real world 7. The girl is pretty, again nothing out of a magazine but what any man would describe as cute, and is educated, intelligent and comes across as a good person.

I just don't understand why a woman like this would enter into a relationship with a man whose history she is fully aware of.

She wouldn't enter the relationship except for
that magical thing called Initial High Interest Level.

As the white lies and fibs are slowly revealed to her and she gets that depressive, sinking feeling realising she's been lied to.....its already too late.
The Initial High Interest Level has been cast already.
Combine this with scarcity, thirstiness and temporary LSE
and she's doomed to 'keep trying' to recapture that first "omg, I've found my soulmate" feeling that the Initial High Interest Level emotion provided.

TL;DR She had initial poor choosing judgement and she ignores red flags as time goes on

 

[Robert28]

You answered your own question. You said he had looks and was fit. Women are very shallow and if they like your look, you can have a sh!t personality and get away with it. She sounds like she isn’t the best decision maker either, likely damaged goods.

 

[sangheilios]

You answered your own question. You said he had looks and was fit. Women are very shallow and if they like your look, you can have a sh!t personality and get away with it. She sounds like she isn’t the best decision maker either, likely damaged goods.

I said he was attractive and decently fit but nothing crazy, meaning above average in the real world but nothing outlandish.

 

[sangheilios]

She wouldn't enter the relationship except for
that magical thing called Initial High Interest Level.

As the white lies and fibs are slowly revealed to her and she gets that depressive, sinking feeling realising she's been lied to.....its already too late.
The Initial High Interest Level has been cast already.
Combine this with scarcity, thirstiness and temporary LSE
and she's doomed to 'keep trying' to recapture that first "omg, I've found my soulmate" feeling that the Initial High Interest Level emotion provided.

TL;DR She had initial poor choosing judgement and she ignores red flags as time goes on

The feeling I get with women like this, as well as others in a similar set of circumstances, is that they meet a man they seem to be really into at first and they start filling their minds with this fantasy life. They get this feeling that he is an amazing man and let these emotions grow and by the time they actually get to know these men for what they really are like it's already too late.

From here it seems to grow into feelings and thoughts like "well, I'm different than those other women" or something where they see "taming" a guy like this as a challenge.

 

[skinnyguy]

player = high status (in the eyes of women)

either she wants to "fix" him or she is ok with him being a player because she believes in a a polyamorous lifestyle or whatever shyt they call it these days

 

[MrWood]

player = high status (in the eyes of women)

irregardless of looks/money:
a "player" has many chicks hes fvcking or trying to fvck
a "AFC" has no chicks, or one chick

who has more value? the player

hint: some call it "game"

 

[Scars]

Women are often times more willing to "share" a high status male, versus not having a relationship at all, or being with a tool.

 

[LuksSkywalker]

Interesting topic. My friend used to cheat on his GFs during college. Everybody from our group knew that and girls, as they are, would comment how childish and stupid that was.
Fast forward. He and one of the girls who said that cheating is childish and stupid are now married and she's pregnant. They were dating for 5 years and got married last summer.
They are 6 years together now and as far as I know she's the first girl he hasn't cheated on.
How and why, beats me but she somehow tamed him.

Why she wanted to date him in the first place is probably what Mr Wood mentioned above. The player has more value.
Was she ready to share him with other girls? I don't think so.
Did she think she's special and he wouldn't cheat on her? Probably.
It was a stab in the dark and she somehow stabbed it.

We don't hang around anymore so I don't know who wears pants in their house, but I do know that he earns more money than her (2 or 3 times more), they live in her grandmas appartment but he payed for new furniture and works that needed to be done around the house.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

The tipping balance is always consummation.

I could always retain my selfconfidence and situational awareness before the intercourse point, but from there I was lost. Its like I gave the man my left hand or right ear or something. A part of my substance disappears forever.

Its why they teach religious girls to wait until marriage. So they are 'whole' to 'give' to their husbands.

The more religious I was, the more selfconfident I felt.

It knocked down my Dad physically too. Its a stretch and not healthy to think this way spiritually, but I may have contributed to his early death by his disappointment in my poor experiences. He was always so sad to see me sad and was like my cheerleader to get me back in the football game. The only 2 things he told me to look for in a man was a hard worker and extreme kindness.

Someone who's a player can fake both, lol.

This thread title is another powerfully emotional relationship skill I'd like to explore...right up there with accountability when displaying bpd traits.
Both topics easily managed emotionally by avoiding intercourse-as simple as that sounds.

 

[bcude]

Why would you choose to eat juicy burgers over salads even though you know the salads are healthier and better for you?

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Why would you choose to eat juicy burgers over salads even though you know the salads are healthier and better for you?

Satiety?

 

[Robert28]

The flawed logic of women view players as “higher value” is flawed. I’ll tell you why. Do men view the town ***** as “higher value” because she’s ridden 100 c0cks over the girl who’s only ridden 2? Ofcourse not. Women are awful choice makers. Don’t believe me? Look at how they vote after we’ve given them the right to do so. Look at how many women live in regret “I wish I’d settled down in my 20’s. Why can’t I find a good man now? Why’d I date jerks?” and on and on. Women, when left to themselves to choose, usually choose wrong. Women have flawed logic when it comes to choosing men.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

To improve, women need to walk in men's shoes.

By experiencing lifestyle firsthand she'll be imprinted.

In addition, how to measure the ability to use logic? Someone here posted he had a brilliant mathematician woman who was still illogical in other areas of her life.

Women must learn empirically in order to evolve. Trial and error.

That removing attention as a boundary breaking consequence is excellent for men to do but to really evolve and imprint, she should walk in his shoes.
And hopefully gain logical thinking skills.

 

[Robert28]

To improve, women need to walk in men's shoes.

By experiencing lifestyle firsthand she'll be imprinted.

In addition, how to measure the ability to use logic? Someone here posted he had a brilliant mathematician woman who was still illogical in other areas of her life.

Women must learn empirically in order to evolve. Trial and error.

That removing attention as a boundary breaking consequence is excellent for men to do but to really evolve and imprint, she should walk in his shoes.
And hopefully gain logical thinking skills.

The problem is by the time most women are imprinted they are damaged goods. I don’t want a woman acting like a man around me or acting towards me how her boyfriends acted towards her. If a woman dates jerks, she’s likely to become a jerk herself because that’s all she knows. Not attractive at all.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Its not likely players have relationships with logical women. Both parties selfselect out.

 

[RangerMIke]

Why do men marry gold-diggers and allow themselves to be used by hot women?

We all make emotional decisions then attempt to rationally explain why we did this. Women do this more because even if she makes a bad decision... she will get validation, so there are not too many consequences.

Man lets his emotions drive him to a chick that empties his bank account and she jumps to a new dude.
Society says he's a fvcking idiot.

Women lets her emotions drive her to a dude that just uses her and he jumps to a new chick.
Society says she's a poor victim, her friends and family flock to support her and give her hugs.

Not complaining, you really can't change this, just stating reality. Actually it's sort of liberating once you embrace this reality. No matter what you do... it is always the MAN'S fault.... so if you're nice and sacrifice your wants and needs, and something goes sideways, you we're enough man for her... YOUR FAULT. If you decide you want to live for yourself, and decide you just want to start fvcking someone else... YOUR FAULT.... It's always YOUR FAULT... so just do what you want and not give a fvck what anyone thinks of you. What you can learn from this... and what is the most important thing for any mindset of a man is: DO WHAT YOU WANT AND STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I can see why women fall for bad boys and get into short term flings with them, be fwbs and all of that.

However, can someone explain to me why a woman would enter into a relationship with a man that she knows is a player who uses women?

The guy in question is someone I know, he is attractive and decently fit but nothing like out of a magazine, I'd say he's a real world 7. The girl is pretty, again nothing out of a magazine but what any man would describe as cute, and is educated, intelligent and comes across as a good person.

I just don't understand why a woman like this would enter into a relationship with a man whose history she is fully aware of.

Because women always think they can change them and because if they know you have a lot of other women it means there is obviously something to really like about you. Women are competitive and they don't want to miss out on something good someone else has.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

The guy in question here.... you say he “uses women” and is a “player”. I assume you mean he uses women for sex? If so I don’t really understand that term because that is how the game works. Both men and women want sex. But they often want it for different reasons. Many women claim to, or think they want sex in exchange for a relationship, or for status. Is this somehow more noble than a man who wants sex for sex? If not, how can a man use a woman for sex? Societal brainwashing has allowed “use for sex” to become a shaming tool against men who are unwilling to commit to the women who want to have first right of refusal in the decision of whether or not to lock a man down. It’s absurd if you think about it. How many men have been dumped out of the blue by a woman who found a guy she liked better or just decided she wasn’t into him anymore? Is she labeled a player? Does she then carry that stigma? No, her choosiness makes her even higher value. But the opposite is somehow true for men due to brainwashing.

There is no such thing as a player. Women use this term to describe a man who is wanted by many women, but who has so far refused to be locked down by any single woman because he hasn’t found one worthy enough yet.

So put yourself in a woman’s shoes (figuratively of course, please), if your choice came down to selecting from an army of loser simps that no woman wants, vs a man that every woman wants who is confident, attractive, and knows how to turn you on, which would you choose? The fact that women choose men who they know have slept with a lot of women and have a reputation for “using women for sex” is proof that there is no such thing as “using women for sex.” That’s just a shaming phrase that a woman will use on a man who decided he didn’t want to be in a relationship with her, or let her dump him.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

@RangerMIke , I believe men are victims.
I believe more communication and awareness and education are warranted to make this fact more visible.

You ever hear the tone in the voice of that lady Cassie? who talked about her Red Pill documentary? I think it was in a Ted talk about her film.
Chagrin, shame, empathy and horror for men.
There are such things as female white 'knights' for men.
Just like righteous gentiles for Judaism followers.

Its just incredibly rare.(she's the first woman I've heard speak with empathy about the lack of men's rights and societal supports.)