Why Women Like To Have You In The Friend Zone.

[Jaylan]

Heh, I think men are pretty much the same way.

Why else would a guy spend time with a girl he's not fucking?

It's all the validation and attention.

Also, it's really hard for some men to like themselves when girls don't like them.

Men and women are a lot more similar than some people would like to admit.

Ive been saying the underlined statement forever. Its very true.

 

[floydb25]

Mike: That's why its not smart, as a decent guy, to chase after and try to pursuade / convince / prove your worth to a girl chasing after bad guys. She is just as selfish as they are; wanting to have her cake and eat it too. She is also likely manipulating the nice guy to make it happen - only to play innocent and act dumb. See it often.

But more than that, like attracts like. Jerks get shacked up with other jerks. She's showing how shallow and selfish she is. The nice guy is still enabling and allowing this kind of behavior on her part, however.

 

[Zerro]

I was actually going to post something along the lines of this.. I find myself having what a lot of these women have, but the other way around. I like female attention, even if it's female friends I'm not banging, it's nice to get a physical touch like a hug, or the smell of their perfume in your presence. I don't really think it's so much a validation thing like "YEAH LOOK AT ME IM THE FVCKIN MAN LOOK AT THESE CHICKS AROUND ME" It's more that I just enjoy their presence and energy.

When I'm not around it, often I feel kinda depressed. I'm trying to move past this.. I think maybe it's the primary cause for one-itis, or perhaps the reason why every woman I date decides to just move on from me. I don't think I'm putting them on a pedestal really, they're just enjoyable to be around.

With all this being said, I'm not doing stupid AFC sh1t like buying flowers, doing favors all the time, or telling them they're beautiful. At the same time, they don't give me any bullsh1t about guys they're dating or ask me to watch chick flicks with them. They know I'm a masculine guy and I'm not into that sh1t.

This is how things are going for me after kicking all the needy girls out of my life and only interacting with the ones who understand that I don't care to hear about their boyfriend, don't give a damn about their girly drama and so on. Nor do I give them gifts or other free stuff. As such I know that those who still hang around do so because they're interested in me (either as a friend or possibly more) rather than what they can scam off of me.

Mike: That's why its not smart, as a decent guy, to chase after and try to pursuade / convince / prove your worth to a girl chasing after bad guys. She is just as selfish as they are; wanting to have her cake and eat it too. She is also likely manipulating the nice guy to make it happen - only to play innocent and act dumb. See it often.

Which is why this should be required reading. If all she wants is guys who are terrible for her then really why would you want her?

http://halloftheblackdragon.com/reel/7925/good-men-must-ignore-women-that-love-losers.html

 

[PapiChulo]

There are different women, some will just try to use you, probably knowingly, while others GIVE in return. It is not for chumps and oneitis-ridden guys at all, who would be just fine being abused. And it's probably your fault if you let yourself be used. If she is trying to use you, flip the script on her and see how fast she will drop your as$. The lack of sexual attraction isn't always the case either, hence I am 'friends' with a few mature married women and it's more sexual than you might think. I don't see how their husbands have kept up with the mind-blowing sex for 20+ years ; ). It's ok to give empathy to each other, we are all human after all. Simply avoid the crazy ones and the users- they are usually the same thing.

 

[Mike32ct]

Mike: That's why its not smart, as a decent guy, to chase after and try to pursuade / convince / prove your worth to a girl chasing after bad guys. She is just as selfish as they are; wanting to have her cake and eat it too. She is also likely manipulating the nice guy to make it happen - only to play innocent and act dumb. See it often.

But more than that, like attracts like. Jerks get shacked up with other jerks. She's showing how shallow and selfish she is. The nice guy is still enabling and allowing this kind of behavior on her part, however.

Exactly. The "nice guy" is an enabler, whether he realizes it or not. He is supporting what he loathes i.e. the cute girl with the bad boy.

This might also be why some of these women have gay friends. The gay guy serves a similar purpose as the nice guy. When the girl is feeling upset about her relationship problems, he takes her shopping and says, "Oh girlfriend, don't let him treat you like that." She feels better. Then she decides not break up with the bad boy or at least "not yet." Then the bad boy booty texts her later that night. They have hot s*x. He doesn't call her for a week. She gets upset again and phones the nice guy or gay gay for some comfort. The cycle repeats.

Whenever a female says she's gonna break up with her a*shole bf, fiance, husband, FWB, etc., ALWAYS take that with a grain of salt. It's like a politician saying they are going to "cut the deficit in half in x years" LOL.

She'll use the nice guy or gay guy comfort to help stay in her dysfunctional relationship. Or if she doesn't have that, she'll whine to her girlfriends instead.

So, unless you ARE the bad boy, stay away from those kind of women.

 

[zekko]

So, unless you ARE the bad boy, stay away from those kind of women.

Agreed. If she's stupid enough to chase the "bad boy", she deserves what she gets. These girls are either low self esteem or low quality themselves.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Agreed. If she's stupid enough to chase the "bad boy", she deserves what she gets. These girls are either low self esteem or low quality themselves.

That's true, but I think that women eventually overcome this.. All at different stages in their life.

For instance, one of my good friends is the stereotypical bad boy.. He's in and out of jail, pretty good looking, and always cheats on his girlfriends. He's a total AFC when talking to chicks (pretty much begs them to be with him) but his bad boy traits turn them on eventually.

This kid was dating a good female friend of mine for about 4 years. Eventually she told him to fvck off. No matter how much he contacted her, she just wouldn't put up with it. I'm pretty sure they haven't talked in months now, and she's dating a quality guy now. He's a hard worker, he's going to school, and he's not the type of dude that cheats. He's a strong willed guy.

This girl is my age (22) a lot of women date these bad boy types into their 40's.. I think what it comes down to usually is intelligence. She was really into this bad boy guy I talked about, but she's a pretty smart girl too. It sucks cause she pretty much threw away scholarships and grants to attend college for free just to be with that scumbag.

 

[Mike32ct]

Agreed. Many outgrow this phase. Some never do. I'm just saying if she currently dates bad boys or has recently dated one, stay away unless you are that type.

I did want to comment on the intelligence part. Sometimes even really bright girls can for the bad boy type. Intelligence and common sense are two different things. She might be a genius, but she can still let the gina tingle overrule her head.

That's true, but I think that women eventually overcome this.. All at different stages in their life.

For instance, one of my good friends is the stereotypical bad boy.. He's in and out of jail, pretty good looking, and always cheats on his girlfriends. He's a total AFC when talking to chicks (pretty much begs them to be with him) but his bad boy traits turn them on eventually.

This kid was dating a good female friend of mine for about 4 years. Eventually she told him to fvck off. No matter how much he contacted her, she just wouldn't put up with it. I'm pretty sure they haven't talked in months now, and she's dating a quality guy now. He's a hard worker, he's going to school, and he's not the type of dude that cheats. He's a strong willed guy.

This girl is my age (22) a lot of women date these bad boy types into their 40's.. I think what it comes down to usually is intelligence. She was really into this bad boy guy I talked about, but she's a pretty smart girl too. It sucks cause she pretty much threw away scholarships and grants to attend college for free just to be with that scumbag.

 

[Zerro]

I did want to comment on the intelligence part. Sometimes even really bright girls can for the bad boy type. Intelligence and common sense are two different things. She might be a genius, but she can still let the gina tingle overrule her head.

Agreed. Many of the girls in the same engineering major as I, despite being quite smart, acted and continue to act the same way as those in liberal arts or even those who didn't go to college at all. A girl who designs chemical plants for a living can be just as shallow as a dropout who works in retail, or even worse as her status makes her feel even more entitled.

 

[TopGun2000]

Agreed. Many outgrow this phase. Some never do. I'm just saying if she currently dates bad boys or has recently dated one, stay away unless you are that type.

I did want to comment on the intelligence part. Sometimes even really bright girls can for the bad boy type. Intelligence and common sense are two different things. She might be a genius, but she can still let the gina tingle overrule her head.

yeah IQ and EQ are completely two different things

 

[zekko]

For instance, one of my good friends is the stereotypical bad boy.. He's in and out of jail, pretty good looking, and always cheats on his girlfriends. He's a total AFC when talking to chicks (pretty much begs them to be with him) but his bad boy traits turn them on eventually.

I seem to have had a different experience than most people here.

Of all the women I've been interested in, I have yet to see any of them have more than a passing interest in the "bad boy" type, and most of them haven't even shown that. The few I know that did have "bad boy" boyfriends dumped them after a relatively short time.

Maybe this is because I screen pretty heavily. The girls I know that have liked "bad boys" are pretty scuzzy themselves.