Why women flake and why you should too

[guru1000]

Old is one of my tools too. If it is a man's only mode of meeting women, he should have a rotation just the same. The majority of women flaking is a lack of comfort built. A man should be able to sell himself, whether online or off. If she flakes, because she thinks she's found a better option, good for her. It cost me very little investment to find out exactly who she is.

It costs you time.

Your strategy is ineffective for two reasons:

1) To mitigate the flake ratio, you have to invest into the rapport (and there is still no guarantee) and thus unnecessary time is expended.

2) You allot for a specific time slot in your (hopefully busy) schedule to date. If she flakes, time lost.

Not effective.

Here's an effective time and dating strategy:

1. Schedule 2-3 dates with absolutely no rapport (and thus little time expended) with a few messages online;
2. Double-header for the night. If the third does not flake, rain-check her for another day.

Two dates in one night, and one date for next time. This is an effective time strategy.

 

[Macaframalama]

It costs you time.

Your strategy is ineffective for two reasons:

1) To mitigate the flake ratio, you have to invest into the rapport (and there is still no guarantee) and thus unnecessary time is expended.

2) You allot for a specific time slot in your (hopefully busy) schedule to date. If she flakes, time lost.

Not effective.

Here's an effective time and dating strategy:

1. Schedule 2-3 dates with absolutely no rapport (and thus little time expended) with a few messages online;
2. Double-header for the night. If the third does not flake, rain-check her for another day.

Two dates in one night, and one date for next time. This is an effective time strategy.

I have to say, it does seem effective and I would be willing to bet that it is. You are true about the time part too. However, it's still not my style. If they flake, I would much rather throw a bonfire/house party, send out a group text and take a shot at smashing a 20 something. It's not like anything serious would come with a flakey girl anyways. Everything comes at a cost and we all have to pay to play. My wager is time, yours might possibly be a shot at an actual good one. I admire the thought that went into the methodology though guru. It's a safe, easy bet that probably delivers results more often, than not. Just not my game.

 

[zekko]

Good men are taught to be reliable, and to stand steadfast before a code of ethics to all. And for the most part, for most of your dealings, and in most instances, these ethics will serve you and the people of the world whom you serve.

But what happens in specific interactions, where this "reliability" neither serves you nor the party in question. Who does this specific type of reliability serve other than the indoctrination to which you have subscribed?

There's a Bible quote I'm fond of, Matthew 7:6:
"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you."

I might apply that in this case as saying don't waste your time with those who don't appreciate it.

 

[guru1000]

There's a Bible quote I'm fond of, Matthew 7:6:
"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you."

I might apply that in this case as saying don't waste your time with those who don't appreciate it.

Wasn’t my point. Reliability (of your feelings) is the anathema of attraction.

This study has shown that girls are most attracted to men where the man’s interest is unclear:

https://www.psychologicalscience.or...racted-to-men-whose-feelings-are-unclear.html

Goes back to fundamentals of initial attraction: keep her wondering where she stands with you.

 

[zekko]

Wasn’t my point. Reliability (of your feelings) is the anathema of attraction.

Okay. I thought you were saying "Why be reliable (as in show up for dates) toward someone who isn't going to be reliable to you?".

 

[guru1000]

Okay. I thought you were saying "Why be reliable (as in show up for dates) toward someone who isn't going to be reliable to you?".

This as well.

Let's use your biblical quote (that you thought was supporting your point) to support my point:

Give not that which is holy unto the dogs

Your reliability is a holy attribute. Why give it to the dogs (a/k/a OLD women)?

neither cast ye your pearls before swine

Your reliability are pearls. Why cast them before swine?

lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you

Because if you bring reliability to the dogs and swine, they will use it against you, trample you under their feet and exploit you.

See Zekko, even the bible expressed how to be fluid dependent upon the audience. Why are pearls and what's holy not given to everyone? Because not everyone deserves it.

As you are a biblical man, I assume you will change your position here.

Should you ever become single again, Guru will take pleasure in scheduling you double- and triple-headers for as long as you desire.

 

[zekko]

See Zekko, even the bible expressed how to be fluid dependent upon the audience. Why are pearls and what's holy not given to everyone? Because not everyone deserves it.

And that was my exact point when I posted that quote.
But I also did say specifically that I was not taking about OLD, because that hasn't been something that I've been interested in or dabbled in. Probably would have if I was born earlier.

I agree that if someone does not appreciate your time, then they don't deserve your reliability. In fact, I would take it further and say I just wouldn't bother with them at all. But in the "real world", you don't necessarily know if someone is reliable or not until they prove themselves. A lot depends on your screening abilities.

 

[guru1000]

I agree that if someone does not appreciate your time, then they don't deserve your reliability. In fact, I would take it further and say I just wouldn't bother with them at all. But in the "real world", you don't necessarily know if someone is reliable or not until they prove themselves. A lot depends on your screening abilities.

There were greater questions raised in this discussion that can benefit all readers.

Is applying "rigid ethics" to all people and all matters, irrespective of their distinctions, smart? Or does being an agent of fluidity who adapts to the audience and matters as needed make more "economic" sense to both the agent and the audience?

 

[zekko]

Is applying "rigid ethics" to all people and all matters, irrespective of their distinctions, smart? Or does being an agent of fluidity who adapts to the audience and matters as needed make more "economic" sense to both the agent and the audience?

I'm a big advocate of flexibility. And in that spirit, I don't agree that the message "Everyone should flake" is a good one to send. All it will result in is more people not showing up for dates, of both genders.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Wot? The preemptive flake?

 

[guru1000]

I'm a big advocate of flexibility. And in that spirit, I don't agree that the message "Everyone should flake" is a good one to send. All it will result in is more people not showing up for dates, of both genders.

I don’t gather that’s the message I put forward.

Rather give the date as much importance as she does ... which in most cases means you’ll make it unless a better opportunity comes along.

 

[Derrick 1]

I don't flake that's disrespectful and childish that's not being a man! If I get flaked I'm done NEXT!

 

[Urbanyst]

Your facts are not facts they are opinions.

A fact would be lightning precedes thunder. And is backed up. You talk alot of opinions my friend.

So do you lol.

 

[MatureDJ]

To me, flaking is simply an expression of low interest to begin with, coupled with just plain bad manners. In a way it's a blessing, since the woman would only be there for whatever entertainment the man offered. A woman who has high interest will not flake - i.e., only fail to meet an appointment because of a true important issue, and will try to make it up.

 

[Tenacity]

Ever heard the saying: "If you can't beat them, join them?".

Most women flake because they have more friends, social obligations and daily commitments than they really have time for. They have also been trained by pop culture to play hard to get and not prioritize the men in their lives over their girlfriends and other sh*t. Technology is constantly feeding them new opportunities and its very easy to get distracted.

If you jam-pack your schedule every day, you will noticed that you really don't have enough time to do everything on your schedule. Having a very large social circle alone will cause you to become very flaky because people are constantly presenting new opportunities.

One common situation is you agree to meet some friends for happy hour at 5:30 while you have plans with other friends later at 8pm. But that happy hour runs long, you get drunk and you end up flaking on your 8pm plans.

The more busy you get, the more unreliable you become. I noticed one of my friends who does really well with girls is a massive flake. He invites women to sh*t all the time and doesn't show up. But they put up with it.

For you guys upset about flaking from girls, you need to fill up your schedule more. You'll end up being the flake more often than not lol.

This post is excellent and is the real, credible, way to not just being a "flake" to women, but being that true "challenge" that the forum so often talks about. What I hate about this forum is that it instructs newbies to FAKE certain things, that I have structured my life in a certain way to come NATURALLY.

For example, one of those things is the concept of being a Challenge to Women. The forum tells the newbie to "pretend" like he's busy by not responding to texts fast enough, or not calling back as fast, or to intentionally cancel a date here or there. Basically just "pretend" to have a LIFE, while the newbie honestly sits on his couch all day with a beer gut thinking about the chick he's "ignoring" literally 24/7.

Instead of FAKING IT, how about doing the following instead?

- How about focusing on making as much money as possible, which would mean you would be working at least 40 to 60 hours a week?

- How about making sure you have completed the education/certifications needed for your field and if not, you are working on that on the side of work?

- How about managing your own investment portfolio?

- How about focusing on your body and making sure to stay on a workout schedule?

- How about focusing on your "style" and making sure your apartment, car, and clothes remain clean?

- How about playing the numbers game with women, where you are approaching 30 women, getting 18 numbers, going on 11 dates, and fvcking 6 of the 11......which means you now have 6 different women in rotation (plates)?

IF you structure your life like the above......which I believe a GROWN A.SS MAN should.....then you won't have to "fake" being a challenge, or "fake" being flakey, because your damn schedule is so crazy with so much shyt to do, that it's only a matter of time before you have to "reschedule" on a chick.

 

[Who Dares Win]

The more I read you guys the more I consider myself less of a pro, my approach is very simple and probably old age and maximised to make things run smooth.

I take for granted that most girls are unreliable therefore I plan the date close to my place or a place I would go anyway, I dont flake and if they do no big deal cause my investment was almost non existant.

If I like a girl I attend the meeting, if she flakes I simply stop contacting her and if she does later, no initiative from me will be taken and there will be even less investment from me in case of an invitation from her.
A girl who flaked that happens to ask for an other meeting will get a "meet me outside the gym about 7, I usually finish at that time" needless to say I wont speed up my training if its 6:55 nor I'll wait if its 7:01.

Maybe I dont like women as much as you do or my libido is not that high but basically I see no reason to have ineffective broken factors in a life Im trying to improve.

 

[Urbanyst]

This post is excellent and is the real, credible, way to not just being a "flake" to women, but being that true "challenge" that the forum so often talks about. What I hate about this forum is that it instructs newbies to FAKE certain things, that I have structured my life in a certain way to come NATURALLY.

For example, one of those things is the concept of being a Challenge to Women. The forum tells the newbie to "pretend" like he's busy by not responding to texts fast enough, or not calling back as fast, or to intentionally cancel a date here or there. Basically just "pretend" to have a LIFE, while the newbie honestly sits on his couch all day with a beer gut thinking about the chick he's "ignoring" literally 24/7.

Instead of FAKING IT, how about doing the following instead?

- How about focusing on making as much money as possible, which would mean you would be working at least 40 to 60 hours a week?

- How about making sure you have completed the education/certifications needed for your field and if not, you are working on that on the side of work?

- How about managing your own investment portfolio?

- How about focusing on your body and making sure to stay on a workout schedule?

- How about focusing on your "style" and making sure your apartment, car, and clothes remain clean?

- How about playing the numbers game with women, where you are approaching 30 women, getting 18 numbers, going on 11 dates, and fvcking 6 of the 11......which means you now have 6 different women in rotation (plates)?

IF you structure your life like the above......which I believe a GROWN A.SS MAN should.....then you won't have to "fake" being a challenge, or "fake" being flakey, because your damn schedule is so crazy with so much shyt to do, that it's only a matter of time before you have to "reschedule" on a chick.

That's what I'm saying.

Most problems related to attracting women can be solved by not being a LOSER with too much time on your hands. When you have nothing going on in your life outside of dating.. it makes you seem LOW VALUE and boring. So women will flake on that guy more because they know he will keep chasing them since he doesn't have jack sh*t else going on lol.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Men don’t flake.

You can however, double or triple book your first dates. I make it a common practice as that’s when most flaking occurs. When you have to be in three places at one time, only the hottest woman gets to meet you.

 

[skinnyguy]

As a side note, flaking has gotten so bad today that it’s not just people who reluctantly agree to plans out of politeness (but don’t really want to go). I get flaked on by men and women based on plans that THEY SUGGEST lol. They invite ME to do something and then back out at the last minute with no excuse or reason offered.

I can’t flake on other people. I keep my word on that stuff. I’ve been on (and continue to be on) the receiving end of flaking too many times.

Most times, I “lone wolf” it to places I want to go. Then nobody else can cancel lol.

Yup. I lone wolf travelling a lot too. Went to other countries by myself. Can't depend on other people going with me.

 

[Urbanyst]

Men don’t flake.

You can however, double or triple book your first dates. I make it a common practice as that’s when most flaking occurs. When you have to be in three places at one time, only the hottest woman gets to meet you.

LOL.

That is still flaking dude.

I used to be hardcore reliable when I was younger and I would never flake on anyone ever. I was also on time for everything. But these days I'm putting my own needs first. I never plan to flake intentionally, but if sh*t happens or I don't believe something is worth my time I will flake and not feel bad about it either.

I have found no negative consequences from flaking so far. Actually, people end up respecting me more.. which is kind of backwards but I'll take it lol.