Why women become unbearable after a while ?

[Bigpapa]

What is the common thread in your behavior that keeps causing it? Can you identify something you are doing in your interactions?

usually what they say is that they feel that I do not care about them enough .

I am quite reserved , but occasionally being a good guy with them

the drama starts of nowhere , like for example I am a little bit cold towards them because I have a lot of things on my plate

 

[derby1]

Yes and they do not get back to try to settle it down , just accuse you after a couple of days that you are ignoring her and that she is mad at you because of this

then you rinse and repeat the quote i gave you! A woman either complies or leaves, its very simple, (you never say that to her though), you project that,

 

[Bigpapa]

then you rinse and repeat the quote i gave you! A woman either complies or leaves, its very simple, (you never say that to her though), you project that,

i was just thinking on how to increase the lifetime of women in my life , like trying to dodge this self sabotage that women do after a while

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Actually this happens quite often

this is not something that you guys deal often ? A woman trying to tame You with force ?

I don't typically get angry or have relationships where I spend a lot of time that would force me to feel that way. Waste of time for me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

i was just thinking on how to increase the lifetime of women in my life , like trying to dodge this self sabotage that women do after a while

You keep saying this is self sabotage but it isn't. You bear a lot of the responsibility for it and you are trying to absolve yourself from that and simply put it on them.

If something keeps happening over and over with many different women, the only common factor in each situation is YOU.

 

[derby1]

i was just thinking on how to increase the lifetime of women in my life , like trying to dodge this self sabotage that women do after a while

you dont , the mobile phone and their hypergamy controls them like slaves.

 

[Robert28]

Let her know this kind of behavioris not okay, nor will you tolerate it.

Lol most women will laugh at you if you do that. They’re so narcissistic that they don’t care.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yes and they do not get back to try to settle it down , just accuse you after a couple of days that you are ignoring her and that she is mad at you because of this

Then take charge as a man and lead the situation. Don't wait for her to do it. Lead.

Give them a timeout and then go have the discussion that needs to be had.

 

[metalwater]

But that is the thing , I am already doing this and backing away . It is ok for a while , then the drama scales up every time

and I am not needy , nor clingy. I would Say that i am quite reserved, but being a good guy from time to time

If we are good men of character there are things we will not do to enforce. When they know that, the enforcement has no teeth. If she knew that we would beat her or would really enforce then she would fall in line. Just like kids, always need to have spanked them at least once. And no.. I don't mean we should abuse kids, I mean they have to have direct knowledge that we mean it. The whole.. putting the woman in time out is fake and they know it. It works with kids if we have previously actually spanked them and they remember.

Its very different thing of: he might walk away vs he might... It works for some men, because deep down they really will kick the **** out of her if needed and she know it. And again, NO we should not do that.

In the beginning, the way was that the man enforced the rules by any mechanism he saw fit. now his only tool is to withdraw attention and walk away. Put her in timeout... and we can't take her toys away even, in timeout she still has car keys, smartphone, and social media. Deep down this is what she see in what we call alpha, he will do whatever it takes and does not have a moral stop code. Now the guy might have a stop code, but she doesn't think so. As a result she doesn't challenge him.

In the end all we should do is walk away and find another that doesn't know our kind heart yet.

 

[jimwho]

What I have learned: Women are always on the hunt for something better. Will risk getting punched in the face to be correct about meaningless arguments, and spend hours draining the lifeblood out of a poor simp sap. Eventually nothing is good enough. Females crave drama, it's in their DNA. They can lie with a stone face to manipulate situations. You hurt her feelings? The guilt trip can be a huge endeavor. Yes my friends , our little angels. Why oh why do I love thee???

 

[Bigpapa]

You keep saying this is self sabotage but it isn't. You bear a lot of the responsibility for it and you are trying to absolve yourself from that and simply put it on them.

If something keeps happening over and over with many different women, the only common factor in each situation is YOU.

yes , totally agree that it might be me

but I do not really understand what I am doing wrong , because I think that i do things by the book

 

[Bigpapa]

Women very quickly begin to take good things in their life for granted.
As a rule, they get bored easily, are selfish and entitled.

So basically the right approach is to never care and always spin plates ? Lol

I agreed with this idea when I was younger , but as I got older my energy also starting lowering little by little , and right now I do not feel that I can juggle both girls and my personal life in the same time

 

[BackInTheGame78]

yes , totally agree that it might be me

but I do not really understand what I am doing wrong , because I think that i do things by the book

And that's what I vehemently disagree with so much. "Rules". Don't stick to always following rules. Stick to following what works for you after you figure out which of the rules is causing the issues.

Trying to follow rules has cost me so many lays in the beginning it makes me sick to think about it. Once I adjusted and figured out what worked for me I scrapped the rules and just played by my own rules. Always following rules makes you rigid instead of fluid when situations happen.

 

[flowtheory]

They become unbearable when you’re not being you 100% authentically. You’re putting up with you than you should, you’re being patient when you shouldn’t be, you’re giving in to her when she isn’t giving to you, you’re not respecting yourself fully.

If the pattern is on repeat and it leaves you drained but with different issues, then the pattern of involvement needs to be broken. If you two are just dating and living separately, next time she acts up with what’s not respectful and it’s just drama nattering, put your shoes on and tell her you need space and walk out.
From here you will now be negotiating from a place of power.

You both need to see you as an autonomous individual who has personal power and self-respect.You have to teach her and more importantly you that your time is worth more than silly fights and power games. But with this you have to truly want a better experience for you in all ways. This isn’t just a tactic. This is you demanding more from yourself. And if she is going to continue to treat you like rubbish months down the line? She is probably just a toxic person, and in that case? It’s not for you because you demand more from your life

 

[Barrister]

The only way to keep women from becoming "unbearable" in my mind is:

1. Set your boundaries;
2. If she is willing to cross them after she knows where they lie, you MUST walk away.

That is it.

 

[Bigpapa]

They become unbearable when you’re not being you 100% authentically. You’re putting up with you than you should, you’re being patient when you shouldn’t be, you’re giving in to her when she isn’t giving to you, you’re not respecting yourself fully.

If the pattern is on repeat and it leaves you drained but with different issues, then the pattern of involvement needs to be broken. If you two are just dating and living separately, next time she acts up with what’s not respectful and it’s just drama nattering, put your shoes on and tell her you need space and walk out.
From here you will now be negotiating from a place of power.

You both need to see you as an autonomous individual who has personal power and self-respect.You have to teach her and more importantly you that your time is worth more than silly fights and power games. But with this you have to truly want a better experience for you in all ways. This isn’t just a tactic. This is you demanding more from yourself. And if she is going to continue to treat you like rubbish months down the line? She is probably just a toxic person, and in that case? It’s not for you because you demand more from your life

what I noticed this though is that women in general think it is ok to be

The only way to keep women from becoming "unbearable" in my mind is:

1. Set your boundaries;
2. If she is willing to cross them after she knows where they lie, you MUST walk away.

That is it.

I would say that also women are quite delusional in their expectations , and this why the friction happens

 

[RickTheToad]

after a while women try very actively to sabotage the relationship on purpose by being b1tchy , rude , more or less try very aggressively to make you submit

after a while , you can not really brush it off by withdrawing attention , because after a lot of bad emotions you can not let it go anymore

this happens no matter if you have a casual or serious relationship with her . They will basically try to make you make your their b1tch

what is the logic behind this auto sabotaging behavior ?

That's on you dude. When she acts up the 1st time, you put her in place. Happens again, you get rid of her. No self-respecting dude would allow this to happen.

 

[Bigpapa]

That's on you dude. When she acts up the 1st time, you put her in place. Happens again, you get rid of her. No self-respecting dude would allow this to happen.

actually it makes sense what you are saying ...

Most likely they think that I would not walk away , and this is why they continue with this

 

[flowtheory]

I would say that also women are quite delusional in their expectations , and this why the friction happens

So is everyone. Don’t make it all about women and finger pointing. You’re being delusional in this situation just as “women” are everywhere else..
Conflict happens because of unmet expectations on both sides.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Many of the "types" are going to start a process to chip away at the man, frustrate him and to take control. Doesn't matter WHO you are as a man. Its what they do.